CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

[sixthnonsense]

[Hagakure was in the middle of drifting into unconsciousness, but he rouses himself back awake when Dandy suddenly speaks up.

Turns out it's something very important.]

Mmnh? [He blinks a few times, forcing himself to focus.] Okay. I'm listenin'.

[What Dandy ends up explaining is...well, at this point in time, not a surprise. The precise details are, but Hagakure has had growing suspicions for a while. He remembers Dandy mentioning another person that he'd turned down after their first night together, and after Jonathan arrived on the boat, he's kind of connected the dots. Today in particular, he had a feeling he knew.

He just wasn't sure how to approach the topic, or if he even should. For better or worse, Dandy beats him to it.

Once Dandy finishes his explanation, Hagakure regards him with a comforting smile.]

Hey. [He uses a hand to tip Dandy's gaze toward him.] It's okay, y'know. I'm not mad or anything. I'd be a real asshole and a hypocrite if I was, 'cause...when Amigo-bi died, I went to your room to check in on you, but also for a similar reason. I didn't wanna deal with goin' home to an empty room in my suite, or wakin' up to not have a breakfast buddy.

[But, back to the topic at hand.]

I'm glad you were there for him that night, 'cause I saw how badly he took it all too. Me, I'm...unfortunately used to it all, y'know? Doesn't make it any easier of course, but there's a certain sorta awful feeling after that first trial. You do whatcha gotta do to keep moving forward.

And hey, I can't blame Jonny for stickin' his neck out there to letcha know his feelings. I'm glad there's more than just me who truly understands how amazing you are. [His expression turns a bit awkward.] I just...dunno how to tread around him now, I guess? I had a strong feeling it was him before you confirmed it, but I didn't know what to say. It's...weird. I feel weird, bein' here with you while he got turned down.

I know, it's dumb. But I've never been in this position before!

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy looks at Hagakure with a half-lidded pair of sleepy brown eyes, listening intently. He can't fault him for having been grown accustomed to this disgusting cycle, as the other man has been imprisoned in it for so very long. Hope is just on the horizon.

Dandy's chin dips inwards at that compliment. Surprisingly, he is a little embarrassed.]

Same here.

Not that I can remember, anyway. I'm usually the kind of guy you keep around for a good time, not a long one.

Jonny's also got some complicated feelings about the whole man-lovin' thing. For me, I'm from space! Nobody cares about that shit anymore. It's archaic, y'know? You've got it bad for whoever you've got it bad for, baby.

It's beautiful either way. The cosmos is so vast! Nobody gives a rat's smelly be-hind who you're smoochin'.

[thinks about the adorable man who let meow and dandy into the singles buffet]

You don't gotta worry about folks sneakin' weird looks atcha... Or feelin' like you don't belong anymore.

[It's not stated explicitly, but Dandy knows full well how... Small-minded people can be, especially from Hagakure's time and location.]

[sixthnonsense]

I definitely get him there. I’m glad things finally changed down the line…’cause you’d think they would after several hundred years, but nope.

[Things are certainly better, but still not great, especially in Japan.]

Honestly…that’s probably a large part of why I got so up in arms about catchin’ feelings for you in the first place— that day at the patio. That shit gets ingrained in you.

[He shakes his head, and smiles down at Dandy. (In the assumption that Dandy is in his usual position on his chest.)]

I’m glad I just said “screw it” to that in the end.

Can’t imagine anyone not wanting to keep you around long term, though.

[bootyhunter]

Is that when you started gettin' the hots for me?

Oooooh. Saucayyyy.

[He absolutely is.

Dandy has finally found a place in the universe that's surpassed even BooBies as his favorite. He winces when he realizes that there were once puncture wounds in this very area, doing his best to block out the recollection of kissing Hagakure's cold, dead skin.

Oh, this is so much better. The younger man is warm again, and his chest is rising and falling instead of frozen in place. To replace the tragic memory with something sugar sweet, Dandy presses two tender pecks to where he thinks the injuries were.

Unfortunately, he's right on the money.]

I can't say I don't get it.

I've spent my whole life dawdlin' after dames.

[Who for the most part didn't want him, but he's not about to start that pity party now. He's already said too much.]

It becomes a part of you after a while. If you told me I'd mackin' be on some man before I got here, I wouldn't have believed it.

Hell, I probably would've thrown a punch or two!

[Dandy reaches his index finger out to trace the shape of a heart over he pectoral muscle his face doesn't happen to be on. He's going to repeat the motion exhaustively.

Sorry, Goob, this is definitely becoming a habit.]

And now I'm bringin' you home with me.

Which isn't supposed to be a prison sentence, by the way. If you find out the life of an alien hunter isn't one you wanna lead, I'll get you wherever you need to go, no hard feelings babe.

[When it comes to the people he actually loves, Dandy isn't the bitter sort.]

[sixthnonsense]

[Hagakure shyly scratches his chin when Dandy makes a little jab toward his precise timing of catching feelings.]

Y-Yeah... I was dead set on denyin' it for a while, but I've come to the realization that there's nothin' to be ashamed about. There never was. I obviously knew what I wanted, and, well...I was right.

[It was scary at first, of course. But that's just how it is with romance. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, or you'll never get anywhere. He's really glad that he did, and that Dandy ended up feeling the same way in the end.

...ah.

When Dandy plants a kiss on the two locations that were once deep wounds, he'll quickly find out that he's not the only one who intimately remembers precisely where Hagakure got stabbed. For a moment, there's a slight hitch in Hagakure's breathing and his grip on Dandy tightens. He has to consciously fight back the memory of that moment- of being viciously run through with a blade over and over and over--

Shit. He's trembling. Okay, deep breaths. Focus on the rhythm of Dandy's tracing... He doesn't realize how tightly he's squeezing Dandy close at this point, whoops.]

I toldja before, baby. [Of course his pet name for Dandy is Dandy's signature one.] I really doubt it's not gonna be for me. That kinda life... It's like a dream come true. And 'sides! It's not like I can't continue my fortune-telling on the side! I'll make sure our pockets are lined, promise.

Most importantly, though... I just plain don't wanna be without you. Ever.

["I wanna spend the rest of my life with you."]

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy lets out a stifled noise, laughing awkwardly as he is squeezed, the ragged sound masking his worry. This is his fault- Other people do not bury their trauma so as to forget it later. Hagakure, unlike Dandy, will remember the details of his misery, so the space horndog will need to be sensitive.

At the very least, the younger man will wake up in a cold sweat knowing exactly why that was the case, whereas Dandy will feel phantom pains in his chest, his heels, and his fingers that seem excruciating...

Without being able to understand why, after a time.]

Oh-ho-ho, man! I didn't mean to give ya a mini heart attack, babe. C'mhere.

[Dandy snakes his way upwards, closing his eyes and pressing a kiss to that unkempt stubble he's grown to cherish.]

And right before you say somethin' that sweet! Sheesh, you're gonna make me hurl one of these days.

[The aforementioned line is spoken with an uncontestable fondness.]

I don't plan on bein' withoutcha either. That one week we were apart was the friggin' worst one of my life! Hell, my lives! Nothin' I've ever been through was that painful, I think that's safe to say! Without spittin' on the legacies of any of the other Dopple-Dandys, that is.

[When Dandy buckles back into his usual resting place, he hides his face by pressing his nose against Hagakure's skin, smiling wide.

Dandy loves being somebody else's baby for a change.]

Don't blame yourself for it, though, alright?

Fate's a pretty cool cat most of the time, baby! But then on the days when she's rearin' to go? She can be one psycho bitch.

This just means I gotta clean up my act and chip in when our chips are down.

[It may not seem like much, but this Dandy will be stepping back into his old life with a newfound sense of responsibility.

It's the least he can do after having killed Meow and QT so many times, even if in each of those instances, the so-called "murders" were accidental.]

And even though it's pretty, you don't gotta worry!

I won't be sellin' my bootylicious body.

[what booty??? your dimpley pancake ass... smh]

[sixthnonsense]

[The gesture is very much appreciated as Hagakure breathes out a contented sigh, and the jitters along with it. He gently nuzzles back so Dandy can enjoy the friction of Hagakure's beard rubbing up against his own chin before properly locking their lips.]

Mm. S'okay. It's just a little fresh... But I figure that's exactly why you did it, huh?

[Hagakure was the one who died, but Dandy was left with what came after. It was horrible for the both of them, and so Hagakure's tried to keep mentions of it to a minimum. He doesn't want to dredge up Dandy's trauma as much as his own, so hearing Dandy talk about the week following...it feels like a hot poker being driven into him.

However, Dandy...sweet Dandy, continues to be the most forgiving person he's ever known. Hagakure inwardly stops himself from yet again wondering if he truly deserves this man. He figures Dandy would scold him for thinking it too.

Now that his grip has loosened, he lifts one of his arms up to tenderly run a hand through Dandy's wonderfully soft hair while he smiles up toward the ceiling. Somewhere far above this horrible city is a sky full of stars. Hopefully soon, they'll be up there together.]

Don't I know it... I get all sorts of visions of Fate on her good and bad days. I really shoulda paid more attention back then. But ya know...I've seen some real good ones of us.

[Knowing Dandy's preference for not knowing his future, Hagakure doesn't go into detail. But he really does hope Fate holds to what she showed him regardless. It'll be a nice little surprise for the very special man in his life.

He lets out a laugh when Dandy jokes about how he'll plan on making money. But though he laughs, that doesn't stop him from moving his hand down to rest on one of Dandy's (butt) cheeks.]

Good, 'cause it's off limits.

[Wink wonk possessive Hagakure is here.

Then, a bit more somberly:]

I'm so grateful we're getting this second chance. I know you told me not to blame myself, but... I'm still glad to have the opportunity to make up for being such an idiot and putting you through hell for a week.

[bootyhunter]

[He was trying to be soothing, but it backfired horribly.]

Yeah.

[Dandy perks up at the mention of Hagakure's visions of a brighter future. The clairvoyant would be right assuming that Dandy would ultimately refuse to know the details, despite his burning temptation to do so. When that palm-reading hand entangles itself in the alien hunter's hair, he utters a reflexive hum of pleasure.]

...Wait.

Really?

[Of course now is the time he squeaks at the (booty) cheek grab. He's enjoying it, even though he wasn't expecting it.]

You are makin' it up to me.

It's more than that.

[Try as he might to explain it, he can't fault Hagakure for not understanding. It is one thing to tell someone that you've lived, loved, and lost an infinite number of times, but another entirely to have been through it yourself.]

I know we were talkin' about Jon, but...

I think I need you.

I hope that's okay to say.

[sixthnonsense]

[As much as Hagakure would love to respond to those cute reactions, he's got something a lot more important to address. He's certainly relieved to know what he's been doing is enough. He'll get over himself eventually and stop taking this as a personal failure, because he has much more to be focusing on.

Namely...]

Of course it's okay.

[It's overwhelming to hear- someone needing him. It's enough to make him a little emotional. But he holds strong.

When he speaks again, his voice has a surprisingly mature tone to it. Gentle, protective. He wants to look out for Dandy as much as Dandy has been looking out for him.]

I'm always gonna be here for you. That promise hasn't changed and it never will.

[He smiles, expression fond.]

You saved me first, remember? I think we're exactly what each other needed.

[bootyhunter]

Yeah, maybe.

[Dandy adjusts his posture, somewhat timidly shifting in place to allow his cheek to more firmly be pressed into that all-seeing man-tit. He closes his eyes, inhaling and exhaling, trying to will himself to simply enjoy all the comfortable sensations without fearing the inevitable. Now that his memories are intact to some extent, he understands just how rare this situation is.

One where two people actually get along and can just... Be. Together.

For the rest of their lives even.

Maybe.]

I know that we've met some pretty cool people here, and I'm gonna miss 'em.

[Despite the hastiness of Dandy's delivery, this is not a lie!]

But I can't wait to take you away from all of this. I wanna make you feel good about who you are, so can you have some real fun, for a change! Without a fear of bein' shanked in your sleep.

[Poor thing. He's going to have so many nightmares, but at least Dandy will be there to help.]

I'd like to wine 'n dine ya on an asteroid, and then take you back to my room.

I wanna stargaze with you on the couch, and draw back all the constellations we thought we saw on your body, baby.

With more than just my hands.

[sixthnonsense]

[Familiar back rubs return as Dandy tries to relax. Hagakure's doing his best to provide some soothing gestures. It's not as if he's blind to all of these signs of how drained and anxious Dandy has been. He wishes he could do more to help, even though he knows he's already doing the best he can. It's going to take finally getting out of here for things to truly turn for the better.

For now, he's more than happy to fantasize about their future and commit it all to memory. It's gonna happen, so he's gonna look forward to it!]

Man, I can still hardly believe that we're really gonna be in space after all of this... I can't wait to see it with you. I can only imagine so much from just descriptions and visions alone.

[A little hint that he's seen them in space together. Not vividly, but...he can picture that room Dandy's speaking of. He wonders how much his vision captured of it, and what the little differences will be once he's finally there for himself.

It's gonna be one hell of a change, and that's exactly what he needs after many weeks of being trapped in one tiny box after another.

...]

Tell me what else you're gonna use. Are you gonna paint 'em on me?

[Yes, he's going to point out the horny part. It's bound to be a nice distraction from all of this.]

[bootyhunter]

[And just like that, Dandy is reminded why he never really thinks too far ahead. With all of the worrying he's done since he lost Yasuhiro the first time, he may have not properly been able to enjoy what little time they've had together. The rubbing of his back is what reminds him of that specifically.

Dandy sighs happily. For some, particularly the aspirational sort with lofty dreams and big game plans, moments like this could be easily missed or taken for granted. But for Dandy, who has lived long enough for all those recognizable achievements to have happened by chance, such as finishing first in the Space Race or creating a chart-topping single featuring the stylings of his own voice...

These are the parts of being alive that make it all special. Backrubs and quiet conversations at night, whether they be vaguely horny or slightly inane.]

Aw! If I tell ya that, it'll ruin the surprise, baby!

What's the matter? Not a big fan of the unknown?

Well, to be fair, it's kicked your ass so much, I'm surprised your rump isn't covered in a load o' metaphysical bootay-bumps.

[Dandy is imagining an ass with multiple cheeks now, and chuckling at the image internally.]

But what you don't know sometimes can't hurtcha.

And sometimes? It'll make ya feel so much better, you'll be like, "Whaaaaaa? Why in the hell was I livin' like that before?!"

[Perhaps it's unclear where he's going with this. In fact, his speech probably seems kind of rambly, until-]

Just the way you did for me.

[sixthnonsense]

[Oh... It takes a lot of effort to not get choked up about this. Did he really change Dandy's life that much...?

He smiles up at the ceiling, his bottom lip trembling a little.]

Nahhhh, s'not that...mostly.

[There is one particular fear that Hagakure has...but he really doesn't want to trouble Dandy with his paranoia right now.]

It's gotten better since the end of all the Hope's Peak crap. 'shima was countin' on that very fear to keep us locked in that hell school. We had to take a leap of faith, ready to take on whatever future awaited us outside those walls.

But when the present is especially bad, it's kinda nice to think about the good kinds of what-if's, y'know? Whatever gets ya through the rough spots. [...] So I guess I just can't help myself. S'not often I get to look forward to something good that even my clairvoyance didn't pick up on.

[He turns his gaze downward to Dandy resting on his chest, thinking about how common of a sight this could become.]

You're totally right, though. The unknown does have some pretty awesome surprises sometimes. I'm so glad to have met you, Dandy.

[bootyhunter]

Y'know... Your chin gets pretty wonky when you're bein' sappy at me.

All wibbly-wobbly-like. 'S cute! I think I like it.

Which means Dandy digs it, baby.

["And I you."

He should say it, but if he breathes it to life, is he cursing them once more? All those times that he was honest, before, and embarrassingly so, were punctuated by misery. Dandy of all people knows he can't continue living life in this fearful state. It's not his default, and neither is feeling bad about himself. Thankfully, any fear of inadequacy or anxiety addled by his multiple lives has been quelled... Somewhat.

So he chooses to play the aloof, rambunctious role, masquerading as he kind of person who can cast off any worry or any woe in the blink of an eye.]

You remember what I said about bedrooms bein' intimate, right?

I can't wait until I finally manage to bring you back to mine.

For real, this time.