CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

[incinerhater]

Okay, so… When you crinkle up like a little french fry that hit the street instead of the trash bin it… It is not very cute.

[it is actually very cute he wants to pick him up and squeeze him but then also set him on fire]

How was I supposed to know you were into dudes?

[Seeing Robert so strung out and down on his lucks sucks actually.

Flambae can’t even look at him, when only a few months ago, he probably would’ve reveled in his misery.]

I’ve never seen you at a gay bar. That and your, eh, whole…

[He gestures to Robert’s gym outfit.]

Basic sad bitch vibe is very unfabulous, but~!

Who knows, maybe you clean up nicely at dinner or something.

[what a fucking tsundere]

Look, I’m asking you out because I don’t want to watch you cry into your lukewarm chicken noodle soup or whatever the fuck you’ve been eating lately.

It’s disgusting, and your snotty tears would only make that shitty scene even more miserable, for me specifically…

[He shouldn’t insult him further but he can’t resist-]

How long has it been since you’ve had someone cook for you?

[bobbob]

[ The sudden rush of judgment and questions snaps him out of his own head for a moment, his eyes finally lifting to meet Flambae's. ]

You've never seen me anywhere outside of work because [ because he only ever worked until recently. Because they were on opposite sides until recently. ] — because we weren't exactly part of the same social circles.

[ That's a really logical answer when Robert feels anything but. He's still kind of nervous, but he feels relieved too, that it's out in the open now. There's a third emotion in it though and that's that he's indignant. He confessed and what does he get, a bunch of insults about his crummy little life? He'd almost rather be set on fire. ]

Okay, fuck off already. [ he slaps his locker shut. The gym outfit definitely isn't happening now. It's SDN uniform all the way. And he's about to launch into a "ACTUALLY, I AM NORMAL" speech when a realization blindsides him again and suddenly everything makes even less sense than it did before. Which is wild, because it made zero sense. ]

Is that — you're asking me out. Like that. Wow, how attractive, I'm swooning right now Flambae, really.

[ And yet. A smile is just barely tugging on the corner of his lips.

Maybe they're both intellect 1 actually. ]

I accept. Good luck getting through the shift with that on your mind.

[ And he starts... to walk away??? ]

this is a shakespearean comedy where both tsunderes want to be wooed bu

[incinerhater]

Hey, hey, hey! That is because you never had the balls to ask me, Flambae, okay!

[Oh, there's no way in hell he is letting Mechadick get in the last barb.

Flambae reaches out to grab Robert's arm, although he stops himself mid-stretch. What if he hurts him? He'll only muddle the circumstances more. God, so he wasn't crazy for thinking their banter had gotten flirtier from Robert's side ever since the whole Shroud fiasco, no!!! There are too many thoughts on his mind right now, so he will simply continue to scream-]

I do not have your number, or any of your allergies, so if you think whatever the fuck I end up making was meant to kill you, just KNOW-

[not him snarling like some carnivorous mammal again]

That if I ever wanted to do that, I would do it with my bare hands, like a reaaaaal man!

[please do not witness how embarrassing it is that he is literally running after robbo but... he has to get in this last bit of information-]

If you are free tomorrow after work, I will pick you up at your dinky little Robert-sized hole [he means apartment] and walk you.

[The interior decorating in his apartment is immaculate, but his neighborhood is not the nicest. It's not exactly safe, especially if Robert is planning on walking around without the suit. In spite of Flambae's vicious behavior, he does not want his infuriatingly handsome dispatcher accruing an even larger number of scars on his body.]

shakespearean tragicomedy

[bobbob]

What, but I just told you— [ Robert stops even without Flambae grabbing onto him. Because neither of them can let the other go with the last word apparently, especially when the last word is shit! ]

Okay. Nevermind. Fuck. [ just yelling back and forth isn't going to really do anything or prove anything at all. And it's infuriating how weirdly sweet it is that Flambae's just asking him about his allergies in the middle of all the shit bubbling out of his mouth. He really is going to cook for Robert isn't he? Seriously, no one's ever done that.

The urge to insist he can walk himself or take a cab is strong, but he can also see that this is a ... gesture. So he'll make one too. ]

Wait just a minute.

[ And he's scurrying off before Flambae can stop him with his hands or words or anything else. True to his word though he's back immediately with a pen in his hand. He reaches for Flambae's and scrapes his number onto his palm with the ink. ]

"Robert-sized hole" isn't coming off the way you want it to, by the way. [ with his handiwork complete, he steps back. And smiles. ] Tomorrow it is.

[incinerhater]

[Perhaps it's telling how quiet Flambae actually gets when he's touched, offering Robert no resistance at all. Instead he allows his hand to limply be drawn on in silence, focusing on the numbers and committing them to memory, just in case the ink smudges before he can get a chance to add the digits to his phone.

There's so many feelings he's denied or buried for the sake of his own fragile ego, and yet he can't help but continue to fuck up his lovelife or let the wrong idiots from the club into his heart or his home, so why not gamble with the highest stakes possible.

Robert's fingers are rough as to be expected. Why is it that despite that, it seems so easy for him to be kind when he's trying? God, it makes the loss of fingers to him that much more embarrassing.

The joke gets a wry chuckle out of him, because, hey, that was funny.

Flambae pulls his hand back, flashing one of those trademark wicked smiles. This time, he does look pleased. Still sneering (but with.... delight??? how does one describe this), he lets out a:]

Cool! I'll see you later.

[Also because he's a fucking asshole-]

You better look nice.