an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
noooo, the worst
He knew, of course, that the firestarter liked cooking and had some skill with it, but he didn't really expect this. Somehow. Maybe because the cooking is directed at him? Maybe because he just expects everything to be on the same level as a twinkie or a 3am taco.
Once Flambae has sat down as well, he digs into the pancakes more earnestly, giving a nod to acknowledge that he'll ask for more if necessary. He won't eat too much — he has to get to work on time, and he's going to eat at least one package of twinkies or a chocolate bar later so — but honestly, seconds couldn't hurt right? The glaze ... he wouldn't have ever even thought of that, and it's genius. But you can't just apply the word "genius" to anything that Flambae does, that's insane. ]
I might have some more. But you should eat first.
[ He went through all this trouble, he can't just not feed himself. Robert also glances around the freshly cleaned apartment for a moment. A portion of the mess was Beef ... ]
You should have woken me up. I could have helped.
no subject
Flambae had spent a good, long while gazing at Robert when he had felt the dregs of sleep finally slipping away, terrified at first. The events of last night had been so happy and sudden, a part of him had expected to wake up to nothing, an empty bed and an even emptier apartment, save for a few empty bottles of tequila and half-rolled joints on the table. Then again, the fantasies he's had about Robert and MechaMan have been a lot less realistic, and a lot more violent, too.
Robert looks peaceful when he's asleep, something that doesn't happen all that much during their stressful workday. He's got those stupid long lashes pale men have and don't deserve, and before forcing himself out of bed, Flambae had tried counting some of the ones on his shoulder.]
And how would you like to have been woken, Sleeping Beauty?
[There's that mocking tone again, only this time... It's very much not entirely a joke. More of a suggestion. Flambae is utilizing the kind of tone where he's """joking""" but actually totally serious, provided that the other party is down...]
With a kiss?
Sleep over again and you can help me next time.
[He takes one of the pancakes he had used to test the recipe, a little crispy at the edges. For himself, Flambae adds no glaze or syrup, simply taking a knife to the butter dish and spreading just a tiny dab of butter over it prior to taking a bite.]
Honestly, these are little sweet for my tastes. But! Counting calories is for cucks, so.
[he says that but with that shoulder to waist ratio of his.... gang... something is going on there]
I might as well join you.
no subject
His brow arches at the mocking, slowly chewing his way through a pancake as he considers this answer.
Honestly yeah, where was his good morning kiss? Thought they were serious about this. ]
Maybe.
[ In reality he's not upset he didn't get a wake-up kiss, he's just teasing Flambae in return. But of course he is also not entirely joking about it either.
He does intend to sleep over again though, so they can work all this out then perhaps.
The comment about being too sweet and cucks and how he might as well join in has Robert rolling his eyes a bit. ]
Oh. Well. Don't let me keep you from more important things.
[ He is the last person on earth who can justifiably say a word to anyone else about getting a proper meal in. And yet here they are. That waist to shoulder ratio definitely did not come from eating sugar glazed pancakes frequently though, everyone in this room is aware of this. But the only thing that really matters is that Flambae decided to join him and he's content with that.
Breakfast together can be their last little hoorah until they have to get back to the office grind and go to work and — well, he doesn't know what's going to happen at work or how normal he'll be able to act or how long it will take for any of the Z-team or Blazer or Chase to say that Robert, Flambae, or both of them are being freaks for seemingly no reason. Whatever happens, there won't be a lot of quiet time during the day. ]
I should probably finish up and start getting to work. That cool with you?
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But all of the images has gotten blurrier now, enmeshed with the far more vivid, real flesh and blood encounters from last night. Now he knows what Robert sounds and tastes like when he finishes, and that maybe he’s tired of putting up so many walls.
Flambae hadn’t expected Robert to let the firestarter get inside him so easily, even if it was with just his fingers. Is Robert really all that forgiving, or does he just care that little about being alive?
Either way, perhaps if Flambae does his best to protect him, he can write those wrongs over and over again.
After staying remarkably quiet while he eats, Flambae reaches for Robert’s hand and squeezes it.
The size difference is strange- Not unwelcome, but bizarre. Flambae usually dates the type of man who could kill him where he stands, visibly. And as much as he loudly proclaims that he loves the thrill of that, he’s grown a little weary of it.]
This is important, too.
[If you aren’t fine in here, you’ll fuck up out there.
And burn out.]
Do you remember the last time you kissed anybody goodbye?
[Flambae can’t say he does.
It’s almost on purpose. If he thinks about it, all he will be able to remember is that it hurt too much.]
no subject
He doesn't know either why he let things go so far last night, not that he regrets it. Obviously yes he was very horny, but maybe also just kind of starved for that kind of intimate connection, intoxicated by being desired. It would be hard to admit something like that, but it isn't wrong.
Whatever's going through Flambae's head is a mystery to Robert, who is just sort of watching him curiously as he finishes up his breakfast. When his hand is taken, he allows it of course, even gives a bit of a squeeze in return. He wants to kiss those fingers again. He wants to say sorry.
But he expected sass as a response and instead gets something rather sweet and honest, so he smiles a little. ]
It is.
[ All of it's been important. For them learning about themselves and them learning about each other. Even for Beef who got the meal of his life and the warmest, coziest sleep to top it off.
But the question throws him off a little. Does the fiery former villain want to make fun of him? No, it's probably not that, even if the question does make some part of Robert's chest hurt a little. Of course he can't remember. It's been years since he dated anyone, and any member of his family ... well, it might have been his mom who last kissed him? The memory is just not there for him to recall.
He takes a breath slow and steady to kind of clear the heaviness of it all away before he finally shakes his head. ]
Not really, no.
[ To lighten things up a little (at least for his own sake if nothing else), he continues with a little smirk. ]
Why, looking to change that?
[ Please kiss me goodbye, is what he means. ]
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Sometimes, in the midst of all the peacocking, Flambae does feel a good helping of embarrassment creeping in. He puts in a lot of effort only to get a smidgeon of the attention others seem to have no problem in attracting, or so it seems in his own warped mind anyway, and for what? He wills himself to stop asking stupid questions that Robert clearly doesn't have the answer to, the man can be dead in the eyes but he's not difficult to understand, it seems, and people don't often answer truthfully anyway. God knows Flambae doesn't, although his caked up ass is out considerably a lot less than Chad's.
For now he knows a few things. That Robert spoils his dog but neglects himself in any facet of his life that involves pleasure, yet when it comes to the private company of others, seems to want it desperately. He finds great excitement in the kind of torture that doesn't end in his own death, and enjoys being kissed more than most of Flambae's ex-boyfriends.
The firestarter carefully peels the eye patches off his face and sets them on the table, and then quickly snakes his foot around one of the legs of Robert's chair, yanking it so that the dispatcher is close enough to lean over and kiss. Both hands don't just cup Robert's face, they're gripping it, and maybe brush away any wayward pancake crumbs as his drag over the skin on the sides of Robert's mouth, tracing the lines that get more prominent when he smiles.]
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And he likes these silent parts of Flambae too, even though just yet he isn't good at deciphering what it could mean. There are, probably, thoughts going through that head of his, but what are they about? Maybe eventually he'll figure some of it out. Either way he gets to enjoy the view for a moment or two until the leg of his chair is tugged forward.
Honestly, that's kind of a smooth move and Robert's a bit mad about that. But he only makes a sort of startled sound that melts into the beginnings of a laugh before the kiss smothers it right out.
It's a good kiss, too. Maybe the retired-ish hero just does really like to be kissed, but it makes him feel important and cherished, two things he never really thought about all that often in his adult life before.
He kisses Flambae back for as long as he can before he needs to push back for some air. Probably he's got that stupid, airy, twitterpated sort of smile on his face (this vibe, you know) as he looks at the man in front of him. ]
Thanks...
[ Seriously, it was really nice? It's a really nice send-off to the chaos that is SDN. ]
See you in a little bit, then?
1/2
Flambae had placed a lot of significance, definitely far too much significance, on his weird, largely imaginary rivalry with MechaMan, only to have so deeply misjudged whatever was going on under there. A part of his fervor during their """fated""" (re: finger-relieving) encounter had tied into that, a desire to see if he could really do it, if he could burn through the armor and catch a glimpse of the hero's face when he was afraid.
And yet here and now, he looks so different, he's happy and it's so much nicer to see him wear an expression that Flambae isn't entirely certain the man has sported in years, and he himself is the source of it-]
2/2
And flashes Robert a winning smile.
What the fuck is going on here-]
Yeah, yeah! See you.
[not the eyebrows again]
And maybe the rest of you-
[He'll very obviously give Robert a once-over.]
If I catch you changing or some shit.
[Into what he's already wearing his work uniform...]
Remember, don't lift without a fucking spot. Okay?
It'd be nice if we could, I dunno, catch a movie or something later.
[He should start getting ready.]
Have you ever seen "The Lord of the Rings?"
no subject
What the fuck is going on here indeed. ]
Yeah we literally almost fucked.
[ He reminds Flambae with an amused grin as the other gives him a once-over. Seriously though he isn't going to change clothes anymore. Unless he decides to work out. But he did promise that he would let Flambae spot for him if he did.
For now, he kind of reluctantly stands up so he can get on his way to the headquarters. ]
I saw that when I was a kid.
[ Since he's got the height advantage for these few moments, he steps forward into Flambae's space to kiss him again. ]
Movie sounds great. [ One more kiss. Just one more. ]
Be good today.
[ Now he's going off to fetch his dog... ]
this is a placeholder but it is stupid jokey fodder here
Does he talk to you like this?!
[ALSKDJFLADSJF]
Be good today... Be good today, my ass...!
[He's overjoyed.
Flambae isn't going to fight any of the kissing- Not now, at least. Whatever stupid dialogue he had up his very tight sleeve re: LOTR is forgotten... He will see you at work, Robert.]