bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

[ No part of any of this is what Robert would consider his "scene", but then that's probably obvious to anyone with eyeballs. He thought about what to wear, but does he actually own any clothing that would qualify? Does he own any clothing at all outside of his various uniforms? No probably not. So he ends up with his work shirt and pants. At least the shirt buttons up and has a collar ...

Except that's not what you wear to an album debut party at a gay bar. Whatever. He stops thinking about it because there's no point.

Aside from looking homeless (according to some of the drag queens nearby who tried to give him money) he is pretty out of place in general, so he's not at all difficult to find. In that at least, he's a bit relieved. If he didn't get scooped up by Flambae quickly, he might just skip out on the scene altogether. Otherwise trouble would definitely find him, and it probably wouldn't be the kind of trouble he'd like.

Being approached and immediately insulted and then compared to the 🧍‍♂️ emoji? That is the trouble he's looking for. Apparently. He even smiles a bit lopsidedly as he's roasted alive. ]

No actually, I think I also wore this on the last date I went on.

[ If you count having dinner in the SDN courtyard (or whatever that was) with Blonde Blazer as his last date. Before that? Who knows when the hell he actually ever went on a genuine date. It's probably better if neither of them really thinks about it. ]

Anyway, I know you think my supersuit is hot.

[Oh! He is fuming at that last bit.

Flambae folds his (overly toned) arms over his (unnecessarily yaoi) chest. His nostrils flare in a familiar manner, and for a few seconds, he can't even believe he was so desperate to see him again. Even worse, he's right, and he can't let Robert have that.

The suit is so sexy (to him, specifically)...]

It makes you look like a fucking vibrator.

[He will simmer in front of Robert for a few seconds.]

Like one of those round-headed ones from Japan?

[Hitachi wand...]

Honestly, for this kind of thing… It would have been better if you just showed up in your underwear and we smothered you in glitter.

Edited 2026-04-10 04:31 (UTC)

[ Robert's expression drops. Moment over. ]

Yeah, okay.

[ He doesn't want to hear how he looks like some Japanese vibrator! So he just starts moving. ]

Time for a drink.

[ He hasn't gotten one yet and now it's overdue. Also, entertaining the underwear and glitter scenario seems like a bad idea to him so he isn't going to do it. Because Flambae probably would corner him with a whole vat of glitter if he ever could and Robert is certain that a) he would never, ever be rid of random spare glitter for the rest of his life and b) Flambae is much bigger than him and could very easily get away with this nefarious act. So no. No way. ]

I'm here for you and Prism, anyway. My outfit shouldn't matter.

[His expression falters too. Shit, he said something that may have actually bothered the guy. But, change does not come easily or quickly, so he fails to make any sort of verbal acknowledgement of an apology. Instead, he weasels his way to Robert's side, leaning in to "whisper" into Robert's chipped ear.]

The glamorous diva in question is a little busy at the moment...

[She is, suspiciously, nowhere to be found...]

I think she is hooking up with the butch lesbian disk jockey. But you did not hear that from me!

[He takes both of Robert's shoulders into his own hands, maneuvering him through the crowd if the smaller man will let him. As patronizing of a gesture as it seems, he's mostly doing it since it's the easiest way to guide Robert to the bar without having to say anything.]

Robert.

That's your uniform. You're not wearing your heart on your sleeve, you are wearing your company logo-

[One of the hands rolls over Robert's shoulder, lingering a little too long as it moves, then snapping with a finger at the SDN insignia on that tragic blue button-up.]

In a place that might as well say, "Shoot me here, bad guy bitcheeees!"

Edited 2026-04-10 23:34 (UTC)

[ If Flambae had apologized, Robert would probably have been a bit weirded out. Anyway, he's not upset or anything, not enough to ruin the mood or the evening. Sometimes unattractive things just fly right out of that unfortunately very attractive mouth, though!! He truly can't be blamed for letting his shoulders slump over it once in a while.

And if Prism wants to spend her debut party getting some tail, good for her honestly. It's her album, she can do what she wants (as long as inevitably Robert doesn't have to clean up after it).

Just because of the crowd, and he feels most comfortable being close to Flambae, Robert does let him just sort of drive him through the people by his shoulders. It's better than trying to weave and push his way on his own anyway. More people probably would have given him dollars.

When they do park at the bar, his eyes drop down to the SDN logo at his breast and then back up to Flambae.

It's messed up how he wishes that hand would linger even longer.

But also he feels, probably for the first time ever in regards to his clothing, a bit ashamed now. A good point is being made. He just thought ... this was the best of his options. It was stupid he didn't even consider the weight "SDN" could have. Not to mention actually bringing their work into their pleasure... Ugh. ]

Fuck.

[ So eloquent. But he doesn't want to show all of the soft vulnerability he feels right now over his fashion faux pas... ]

Should I go change? I could put on my gym t-shirt, or ...

[ He rubs a hand on his forehead. This is so fucking embarrassing. Who knew he could be such an embarrassing person! He thought he had it all together, man.

(He has never had it all together.)

With a groan, he essentially gives up and looks up to Flambae with a mildly pleading expression. ]

I didn't think about it. I'm sorry.

[Flambae quirks a brow upward with an air of mild surprise. He isn't sure what he expected Robert to do exactly, but whatever it was, it involved a shitton of bone-headed stubbornness.]

Okay, well... It is very obvious that when it comes to your appearance, do not think at all.

[is it really a read if it is just a statement of fact]

But...! It appears that you are still considerate, so! Thank you for that.

[Translation: At least you shower.]

If I had a nickel for every straight guy I knew who didn't wash his disgusting ass, I'd be a fucking bitcoin investor.

[Flambae's powers have nothing to do with psychic abilities, thankfully, because imagine the emotional terrorism he'd get up to if that were the case, but he does sense a peculiarly honest sense of dejection from Robert in this moment. There was a time where he would have absolutely delighted in the freckle-faced dipshit's misery, but now, considering all that's happened, seeing the man like this only makes the firestarter feel sad.]

Seriously! Just take your fucking shirt off and you'll be fine.

[ It's really hard to be stubborn about your outfit when you're standing in a gay bar with your boyfriend who's wearing a mesh shirt. Robert really does feel kind of foolish for the line of thinking that made him arrive at this decision.

He still manages to give Flambae a flat look about not giving his appearance any thought at all ever. ]

Okay well first of all, not as straight as you think I am apparently, because I would never leave my ass unwashed.

[ That's nasty, bro. Nevermind that being here with his boyfriend also disqualifies him from straightness. He knows he is perceived as a straight white man most of the time though. He gets it.

Taking off his shirt is also not the most ideal to him, but ... if it will be less embarrassing (somehow) and if Flambae will be happy about it, fine. ]

Ugh, okay.

[ Button by button he goes— Some intoxicated gay guy probably cat calls him as they wander by, but at least nobody's calling him dad bod—He just hopes there's some place he can stash the shirt, because he doesn't want to have to pay for a new one or something. ]

[Okay, the guy who whistled is getting an angry glare and a bark-]

Fuck off!

[there is a slight recalibration period, where he tries to switch from aggressive to flirty and suave, it is giving something similar to when he toothily smiled and said "hello" in the middle of the night]

[In seconds, Flambae tilts his head back, as if he didn't just buffer like some old Macbook Pro loading bubble, which to be fair, is rainbow-colored so fitting I guess-]

Don't worry, Robbo. ❤︎⁠

[He flashes a missing-toothed grin at Robert, smarmy as ever, leaning in to remove Robert's shirt from his hands. He'll hold it, it's fine. Boyfriend duties aren't the kind this hairy-chested bastard will slack on.]

I know you aren't.

[As if he wasn't done being a deranged scumbag, he shoots a glare towards one of the patrons at the bar, who begrudgingly glares back before getting out of the chair.]

Come! Sit, we'll have a few drinks.

[He puts a warm, three-fingered hand on the small of Robert's bare back. The lights in here are mostly colored and flashy, so it's hard to make out the freckles beneath the spaces in Flambae's fingers.]

You look much cuter like this anyway.

Edited 2026-04-11 04:54 (UTC)

[ Well. That really shouldn't have been as hot as it was— yelling at the guy, not re-enacting the midnight hello— but damn if Robert's heart isn't fluttering like mad for a brief second there. He was just going to ignore the guy, but that works too.

He watches his shirt exchange hands and does mildly wonder if Flambae is literally just going to hold it all night, but doesn't ask. Instead he takes a seat in the newly vacated spot and scratches his head a little. It's actually really weird to just be in a bar without his shirt on, perhaps weirder still to be touched so tenderly on his bare skin in a bar. But he can endure this, surely. It will be fine.

Flambae's comment gets him to cock (haha cock) a brow, a little amused smile threatening to take over at the corner of his lips. ]

Aw, thanks. So sweet.

[ Is he being sarcastic or serious? Yes. ]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you're going to have to take me shopping before we do this again.

[He growls in response to what he perceives as sarcasm. There is something confusing about the tone of it, and it finally dawns upon this very beautiful but often nearly brainless man that that the ambiguous nature of those little jabs is significant part of what excites him about Robert.

It doesn't steel the surge of self-loathing that wells up inside him. It bubbles up the way that acid or bile would come up in one's throat, only emotionally. If that makes any sense at all...

Flambae's jaw drops in an exaggeratedly comical fashion. And, yes, he is going to hold the shirt the entire night, since it is the boyfriend-y thing to do.]

Don't tell me I've seen you in everything you own!

That can't be possible.

[pawsible

in the accent

also his hand is gonna stay on robert's back ]

[ The growl gets Robert to move his own hand against Flambae's back for a moment, as if to tell him that it was sarcasm and serious. He lets it linger a moment and then slips away again, though he already kind of regrets that. It was just a little symbol of reassurance for the large and completely silly man beside him.

And speaking of silly. Damn, that expression. Robert huffs in mild embarrassment. ]

Uhh, I don't think you've seen every pair of underwear I own.

[ Damn. If you think about it though, his last few years have been sent relentlessly pursuing and plotting against Shroud, on top of doing his Mecha Man duties. He probably spent most of his time in his suit. Then his workout clothes because he needed to stay fit (and probably take out some stuff on the punching bag...).

It's not something he ever cared or thought about. But he's thinking about it now. ]

But yeah, it's possible.

[ Suddenly he's a little bit in awe that Flambae gives him the time of day when he's such a fail at fashion. ]

[The hand on his back evokes an oddly vulnerable expression from the now only somewhat malevolent firestarter, his amber eyes widening and then narrowing again. As soon as he hears the word underwear, that overconfident smile has returns, if only briefly, wicked as ever.]

Well.

[What is it about supervillains and dramatic pauses.]

That's good to know.

[Tenderness is difficult. Not to muster or to feel, oh no, sometimes sentiments of that variety are far too frequent for Flambae's liking. Still, even a vain, hot-headed idiot can sense when he needs to make a slight change in his approach, which typically scorches.]

I mean, what's the point of shopping when I could make you something custom?

You'd just walk into the store, find the most boring thing available in your size, and leave with something you don't actually like.

[His hand briefly strays from Robert's back, only because they now both move to snake around his bare waist, even with the shirt being held in one of them.]

Am I right or am I right? Whatthefuck am I even talking about, of course I'm right.

[ these expressions are a little beyond Robert. He doesn't really know how to take them. Is he doing good? Is he doing bad? But at least it was a lingering touch, so if Flambae really didn't like it, it's over now. Not that it matters, since he's being really dramatic about Robert's underwear comment. ... ]

Why does that sound so threatening?

[ Seriously. Is his underwear drawer in danger? Does he even have a drawer to put underwear in??

His mouth falls open briefly like he wants to protest, but he genuinely doesn't know if he can deny that that's how things would go. He has never put much thought into his wardrobe. Maybe if he had a weird phase as a teenager where he wanted to be cool or noticed or something, but did he have moments like that as a teenager? Was there any room for that when he basically got thrown into taking on the Mecha Man mantle ahead of his time? Oof.

Flambae making him something though, he didn't even think of something like that. It's both sweet that he's suggesting it and terrifying because Robert has no idea what the man could imagine for him. It could be more embarrassing than just being bare-chested in a bar. ]

I mean, if you wanted to ... Wait. Would you consult me on any part of that, orrrr...

[ Is it going to be a surprise? He's still not convinced he wants the surprise.

And damn, if he doesn't feel a little jolt of warmth when Flambae takes him around the waist. They really don't need to be PDA (even in a gay bar) but ... what can he say, he's still in the fresh, giddy phase of newly dating. Yikes!! ]

Maybe it couldn't hurt if you designed something strictly for visiting places like this.

[At the comment about sounding threatening, the jeering smile only widens. Yeeees, tell him he's scary. He may be a hero now, but that sort of thing always makes him happy, especially considering the fact that he's worked his whole life to appear intimidatingly unapproachable.

He leans that sharp chin of his over one of Robert's shoulders. He'd flag down a bartender if his hands weren't full of a weathered superhero and his world-weary item of clothing.]

I'd need your measurements, of course.

[That counts as consulting Robert, right?]

Sure! We can start there.

[Flambae's catlike gaze is averted momentarily, suddenly shifting to the shiny tabletop.]

I know you like the color blue.

[His grinds his stubble against Robert's shoulder blade unintentionally, ruminating.]

And convenience, maybe? So you'd prefer something comfortable and discreet.

[Flambae says all this, but he is fully designing a Robert-sized snuggy/bunny-footie pajama abomination in his diabolical(ly empty) head.]

You seem to have a lot of things that are just... Okay.

[And something about that is so deeply depressing.

Is he just okay? Is Robert willing to glom onto just anyone who shows him a baseline level of affection? Whatever.

Somehow, for right now, Flambae isn't bothered about that.]

But life doesn't have to be like that, you know.

What if you loved-

["Me-"]

Your shoes just as much as you loved those creamy twinks?

Edited (why cant i see typos anymore.) 2026-04-12 03:25 (UTC)

[ So his underwear is in danger. Good to know ... ]

I thought maybe you had some hidden superpower that let you know that just by looking at me.

[ He lifts a brow as he tilts his head slightly back to see Flambae better. Of course he'll let him get some measurements, even if he still a little apprehensive about what the flaming (literally) superhero might come up with for him. At the same time, the fact that the man remembered he likes blue, and has read him enough to know he'd like something convenient, comfortable, discreet ...

That feels really nice. When he turns his head back forward, he has the smallest, quietest smile. ]

That does sound like me.

[ If he ends up with footie pjs out of that somehow, well. He'll be flabbergasted, completely. But for now, he decides maybe he'll trust Flambae a little.

If he knew that Flambae was questioning, even for two seconds, whether or not Robert had 'settled' for him, just because he showed him a little affection, he'd be ... upset. That's not the case at all. In fact most of the time, ever since this all started, he's wondered if he's not just in another coma, dreaming about all of these things he's suddenly got when he's never had them before.

But he doesn't know what the other is thinking. Sometimes he wonders if he will ever be able to guess. Because one minute they'll be cozying up at the bar and the next Flambae will be talking about creamy twinks. ]

Yeah don't ever call them that again.

[ Sonar was bad enough ... ]

I'm not sure I'll ever care as much about fashion as you do, Flambae. But I don't mind ... working on it a little.

[Flambae's thin lips twist into something like a smile when he hears that somewhat sarcastic jab. He refrains from telling Robert that he could probably guess what most of his underwear looked like and even go so far to state what discount retailers or websites the dispatcher got them from, but... That's not a superpower, that just comes from being informed about garment distribution.]

I would not expect that from you.

[He says, leaning a little more persistently against Robert's skin. Hilariously enough, Flambae doesn't feel like he's settled at all. The genuine warm giddyness he feels during the moments when they're happy are enough.

He's learned, especially after a life that's had its chasms of darkness, not to question the joy when it comes so naturally.]

You have no taste. In that regard, things are utterly hopeless!

Feh.

[He says that despite being stupid enough to hope that they can be happy together, if not forever, then for some time. Flambae, for all his theatrics, isn't looking for another flashy motherfucker to be his partner in (avoiding) crime.

Speaking of flashy motherfuckers, Flambae wriggles a bit when he sees the bartender finally look in their direction, although he wrinkles his nose when he spots Flambae and Robert.]

Ehhh, what was that fucking face for? Hello!

Can we some get some drinks over here? Asshole.

[ For someone like Robert it might as well be a superpower. But he doesn't really want to hear about how poor and unfashionable he is (especially in the underwear department, hello??) so it's for the best that no one commentates further on that matter.

Flambae leans more against him, and he wonders if the natural heating unit can feel that he is getting warmer for it too. Best not to say anything about that either, lest the man's ego grow too large to fit the venue.

He is probably right. Robert cannot be expected to suddenly gain talent in being fashion conscious. But with a boyfriend like Flambae, he can at least improve a little. Or be more willing to branch out a little. Not too far, mind you.

For his part, when the bartender wrinkles his nose, Robert tries really really hard to just not pay any attention to it. If he takes it personally he'll either feel really stupid, or mad enough to stomp on the tender's foot or sock him or something. That's not acceptable behavior for Mecha Man no matter how satisfying it would be. So he decides to glance to Flambae again and smile a bit. It's affectionate enough, but anyone who didn't know the two of them probably reads it as exasperation or something. ]

You'd think they'd seen a shirtless guy getting cuddled around here once in a while.

[Robert makes a fair point, which is something that Flambae is hesitant to say aloud. This place is packed to the brim with gay couples, usually, and the long-haired bastard has never really seen a reaction like that from said bartender. From the newly minted superhero's point of view, the guy is not his favorite on the staff by far, seeing as he's kind of a quiet tightass, but he can't be outright homophobic, can he?

For Flambae, the warmth of his own body is sort of his baseline. He thinks he can feel Robert getting hotter, but what really gives it away is the slight pink hue his skin starts show in the places that are more freckle-y than fucked up. The hothead says nothing about what he observes, for once, although the more he looks at the scars on Robert's body that he can see even amidst the moody hues of the dance floor tonight the worse his myriad of emotions seems to become.

He hardly ever experiences lust and pity as the result of a singular glance. Scars have always intrigued him, indulging his childhood affections for brawlers and bad boys and tender adult fascination with loving someone back to joy or good health. But on Robert, the number of battles his body has fought strikes him as somewhat unfair.

The fact that he's not dead is something of a miracle, or if Flambae was in one of his darker states of mind, a curse, probably.]

Feh! Well.

[His furry brows press together as he Realizes.]

Not me, probably.

[ Robert could guess what Flambae's usual behavior is around a joint like this but really he doesn't know at all. He barely knows what to do with himself in a place like this, let alone how to imagine someone's habits here. He's still not fully at ease just being half naked in this public space, but being closer to his boyfriend is somehow less embarrassing and more comfortable. It's like that big, yaoi-shaped body is a shield of some kind.

Mind you, if he knew about any hint of pinkness his freckles and unmarred skin are betraying, he'd be feeling a bit different! He has to maintain some level of street cred, after all. Even if he is apparently smitten as a springtime lover.

Glancing up at Flambae, he sounds curious. ]

Really?

[ The bartender's observations and behavior don't really concern Robert all that much, but he is as always curious about what Chad is like outside of work and when Robert isn't around. Presumably different now that they're together, but still. How does this flamboyant, loud-mouthed hot cheeto always end up such a mystery?

He huffs softly after a moment, shaking his head. ]

Definitely think I need a cold one right about now. You're going to melt me if you stay there all night.

Yeah, I don't...

[He pulls back, having his flamboyant feathers kerfuffled a little bit, only he seems less angry in this moment. Nervousness, without the heat of put-on disdain, manifests in the tension of Flambae's shoulders. His posture is probably the straightest thing about him most of the time, because after all, what is the point of having perfectly preened chest hair if you don't pose well-enough for all your onlookers to see it?

He blows out a puff of hot air, adjusting his singular side-bang with the hand that isn't Robert's shirt.

Flambae takes this moment to bark at the bartender.]

Hello! Yes.

[This is his resigned, "attempting to be good" voice. Whatever polite cadence he is attempting to use, it's not working. He still sounds bitchy as ever.]

Can we get a beer over here? Please...

[He finally catches the poor, underpaid employee's (stink)eye, making intense, unwavering eye contact in silence on purpose. That is before he says:]

And a strawberry daiquiri for me.

Edited 2026-04-19 03:55 (UTC)

[ Flambae's reaction is curious, and Robert wonders silently whether he should pursue this avenue or not. Maybe he doesn't actually want to know what the man got up to in gay bar hangouts of the past? Anyway, it was kind of smooth to just get the bartender involved right before Robert could interject about anything anyway. Now it would be too weird to just ... bring it up again, wouldn't it?

And if the bartender was kind of being judgey at Flambae then, well, he thinks that Flambae's current rendition of "attempting to be good" is good enough. ]

Thanks.

[ He says this to Flambae once the bartender skulks off to fetch them what they want. Robert's is basic and plain so he gets his first.

Strawberry though, huh? He doesn't know if he'd penned this big fireball as a strawberry kind of guy. He'll keep it in mind from now on. ]

Is that your favorite?

[Oh.

Flambae can feel a rush of timid self-consciousness coming on, something that's probably healthy on a date with the sort of man he could actual see a potential future with. He takes his drink when it's given to him, too focused on Robert to even shoot the bartender a silent courtesy nod, looking a little relieved when the drink is all his former nemesis asks about.

There's a brief flicker of a shy smile as he stares at his drink a little stupidly, swirling it around before taking a sip.]

Drinks for me are kind of like... I order them based on the vibe, I guess?

[He'll have his fair share of harder liquors on nights where he wants to party or show off. Like many other supers, Flambae's tolerance for alcohol is on the higher end, although he probably can't outdrink Blazer.]

I like strawberries, though.

[For a moment, he foolishly considers explaining his choice further, although Flambae walks that thought back rather quickly. A strawberry daquiri is a cute, fruity, date-y sort of drink. And this is a cute, fruity date... Right?]

They have so many seeds.

Even for a fruit, that is... That's a lot of potential progeny.

[ Robert is just curious about his boyfriend! He doesn't mean to put him on the spot or make him feel shy. In fact, he never really knew Flambae was capable of being shy until they really started to get to know each other. Intimately. Like this.

It's cute though. Why is it weirdly cute? ]

Sure, I get it.

[ He can't imagine that Flambae is a one-drink-only kind of guy. Robert for his part has just always drank whatever. As long as he gets a little loopy and can forget about the job for 2 seconds, it's probably fine. At least, that's how it was before SDN and everything. More things he's trying to unlearn slowly but surely.

And while he's about to comment about Flambae's potential love of strawberries, the other man continues talking about the seeds in the most unhinged way possible, so the dispatcher lets him finish that thought up. He slowly takes a few gulps of his beer, and then gives a little laugh, shaking his head. ]

You're so weird. You know that. [ Could they have it any other way though, either of them? ] Don't tell me the seeds are your favorite part.

shhh it's fine, it's the hottest album

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1/2

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cw: emeto ig??? who is reading this, anyway...

imagine...

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omg the googoo eyes icon