bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

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CALL ME OUT

CALL ME OUT:

Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter /

himbomb /

incelligent

*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)

kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder)

moneyballer available on request

Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)

googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy)

edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)

madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game)

aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party)

portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party)

confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag)

feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo)

pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet)

screechy

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[He winces, not from pain but discomfort, when Faye bridges the gap. She has, through no fault of her own, unknowingly opened a gate between a few dozen worlds, only the portal is through Dandy himself. A chasm of emotions has erupted from within him, somewhere between his right and left ear. It hurts, oh, how it aches, throbbing and pulsating in a fashion that resembles an actual headache.

Must've had too much booze. Too much booze and not enough booty. Damn!

Dandy isn't one to ponder his own loneliness very often, as it does not suit him to be uncomfortable. His emotions are sometimes as much of a mystery to himself as they can be to others, and when it comes to the particularly awful sort, he doesn't often engage with them. Faye's hand in his and their bodies jiving in what is apparently three-four time, gets his heart beating in-]

You think?

[A way that makes him feel alive.]

I don't know a whole lot about all of that girly stuff.

[All lies. He absolutely moisturizes, and obsessively, too.

Dandy wonders if Catherine had ever done something of the sort for him. He can't seem to remember.

Then again, she was never that type of girl.]

You might have to show me sometime.

Edited 2022-05-08 17:44 (UTC)

Ha! I think you're more well-versed in the stuff than you let on.

[ the hair, the seemingly clear skin, has nice teeth, he smells better than most men she knows, even his fingernails were clean. she's an observant lady but it's not hard to put two and two together. apart from the dry texture of the scabs, the rest of his hand felt notably soft. no callouses on his fingertips.

she goes for another twirl and ends up breaking from his clasp, drawing out a small distance between them. before the crowd could take over, their bodies will find one another like charges in a magnetic field. and that's when her hands find his chest. palm flush against bare skin, and it's just as soft as she thought.

her hands travel lower, and lower, stopping no further than his navel. a case of curiosity. that's all. she watches dandy's face the entire time; the gesture lasting but a few beats, and yet the moment seems to last just long enough for her to soak up every note of surprise that washes over his face. ]

But if it’s a spa day you’re talking about, then count me in.

[ and just like that, her touch lifts, and her entire body drifts out of his orbit, swiveling around and exposing the back-less part of her dress. her limber body sways from left and right, hands smoothing over her hips and back up again. while it might seem like she wants space, it's really more of an invitation—will dandy take it? ]

[It's clear from his hair, body, and perhaps overall physique that Dandy is not what you would consider a working man. In fact, since he spends a good portion of his time hardly working, it's no wonder that he and his two weird little buddies are shit at the their job.

They're dancing and so are her hands, making their way all over his exposed skin, exploring his body and traversing paths that haven't been traveled in years. The physical contact alone earns Faye a shiver. In a sliver of desperation, Dandy laughs, his cheeks going red and his hopeful brown eyes shutting tightly.

He's forgetting that on some days or some nights, he can get pretty ticklish.

What he doesn't know is that it's because of how his pyonium molecules react to certain frequencies. Of light, of sound, and sometimes even fate itself.

This is dangerous.]

Haha...

[He's breathless, sheepish, you name it. This is embarrassing, despite the fact that he's enjoying every second of it.]

I guess you caught me! Guilty aaaas charged, baby.

[Even so, he takes this opportunity to catch up with her and close the gap between them, wrapping his arms around her waist once more. This time, he's going for a full-on embrace, and bends over to press his nose into her shoulder. Oops, he's not quite following the music anymore...

She may or may not notice, especially since they're so damn close, that...

Dandy doesn't have what you would call a heartbeat. Not a human one, anyway.]

And now I've caught you! Whoopsie-daisy.

[ faye doesn’t remember the last time she was embraced like this. maybe when she was a little girl... but there’s no real recollection to grasp onto that’s anymore recent than that. so the sensation feels practically new and untried and she’s confused by the fluttering in her stomach when dandy wraps his arms around her. he makes a silly remark and she begins to laugh—was it because of him, or is she just that nervous? now she, too, is no longer dancing with the music. she can’t; her heartbeat is so deafening that for a second she thinks the music has stopped. ]

I guess you did. Does this mean you're turning me in?

[ in her head, her voice sounds muffled, not quite reaching him. she takes a deep breath to calm the building urgency. to pull away, to force distance, to stop. the music then returns to drown out the thumping in her chest and she’s back in the heat of the crowd, in dandy’s arms, and the urge dissipates. now the craving kicks in, constant and always present, making it hard for her to tap out.

... she's fine. this is fine.

his nose presses to her shoulder and she feels herself give a little more, sinking into him until her back is nearly flush with his front, her head tilting to glance at him. she places her hands over his and that's when she starts to dance again, using her body to direct him into motion.

somehow, she finds her voice, and her footing. ]

I was hoping we could dance a little longer before that.

[ and the strength to joke??? idk ]

[He can sense Faye's hesitation, why, she's pressed against him, for goodness sake. Her muscles freeze, stiffening up in a manner that seems so fearful and strange, a strong cry from the pistol-slinging firecracker that she usually is. So this is what she's afraid of.

Dandy is a hopeless romantic at heart, although, it should be stated that there's huge emphasis on the hopeless bit... His own weird-sciencey insides churn with excitement as she leans on him in such a demure manner, and when she shoots him that glance, he tilts his head in response, sporting a lop-sided grin. As much as he drones about the female form, going on and on about curves in all the right places, simply put? This is Dandy's favorite thing. The universe is a lonely place, and while some pockets of it may seem crowded, the truth is that for the most part, it is isolating and terrifying. It gives him so much peace to be there for some of its living, breathing shooting stars when he has he chance to pass them by.]

And share you with a buncha pot-bellied cops? No way!

[She's making light of something awful.

Dandy doesn't remember much, but this is a fact he knows. It stands out to him. In the moment, he tries not to make a big deal of it.]

I guess that makes you my prisoner tonight.

Kinky.

[Dandy chuckles softly, interlacing their fingers together, ebbing and flowing not so much with the music, but instead relying on Faye's gentle lead.]

Have you ever tried warping? To, y'know.

Get out of it.

[ no chance it's the alcohol making her face feel warm this time. there's too much light distortion for him to tell how red she was. for that, she's thankful. the timidity in her smile is obvious though. she doesn't even have the graciousness of her hair to hide that away for her. it's okay. she's not completely exposed. this is vulnerability at a manageable level. she could always dip out if it became too much. there will always be that option. ]

It's kinkier if you decide to tie me up.

[ yeah, she said that, she knows exactly what she's implying with that. ~~one of her kinks LET'S BE REAL HERE!!~~ the intertwining of their fingers distracts her for a beat. the affection behind such a gesture, how it triggers the flutters in her belly to grow stronger, threatening to render her weightless lest she keeps herself grounded. couldn't run the risk of doing something she may regret—like letting him really see her. no, that's too dangerous.

faye believes she understands dandy's question. proceeds to answer as such. ]

Warping? Like, warp gates? Sure I have. Best way to travel between planets, and to shake debt collectors off your tail.

[ ... or whoever one might be on the run from! what other warping was there? ]

[At that saucy, flirtatious remark, Dandy maintains his cool demeanor of whimsy, thinking that for the most part, Faye is joking. There's no guarantee that the two of them will get that far, and surprisingly, Dandy couldn't say he's anticipating it either.

This is all good, harmless fun.

Right?]

Maybe I will!

[He's so distracted by the blush he thinks he sees on her face, he almost forgets to answer. She's so rough and tough all the time that it's special to catch a glimpse of that hidden girlishness.

It must be a shame, to have learned to hide it so well.]

They've got gates for that now? Holy shitballs! Or more like, "Holy shit, you're gonna be bald!" Everybody knows warping makes your hair fall out.

Is that why yours is so short?

You promise?

[ faye doesn't anticipate anything more than perfectly harmless fun either, but that won't stop her from dipping her toe in to test the waters. contrary to what dandy believes, faye is being genuine in her flirtiness, not that anyone could blame him for thinking she wasn't. is it really much different from her faux-flirtiness? at first glance, maybe second. they share more than a glance at one point, does it show in her eyes? the way her fingers relax and curl into his for the moment? how she presses against him like he's the safest place on this planet?

is it still the same? ]

What? No!

[ in this episode of space "nonsensical" dandy... ]

It's short because I like it that way.

[ faye lets go of his hands suddenly and turns around to face him, encouraging him to keep his arms around her waist as her arms come up to drape over his shoulders. ]

What do you mean your hair falls out... where did you hear that?

I didn't just hear about it, it's somethin' I know! Warping's the ever-lovin' worst, and I hate doin' it.

[Dandy, if he were to think long and hard about it (which, let's be real, when does he ever), should be able to tell the difference. This isn't polite chit-chat at a chain establishment where the waitresses are forced to act a certain way. The girls at Boobies bat their lashes and let clothing straps fall in the hope of earning a decent tip, and Faye is here of her own free will.]

I promise.

[Her arms are around his shoulders, and suddenly everything feels right again. He fingers don't itch with the urge to turn the pages of a titillating magazine, and his energy isn't being devoted to planning for his next goose chase... But perhaps the most surprising thing is that he isn't thinking about Honey, or pink uniforms, or any other girls at all.]

What, are you scared that I'm gonna rat ya out? I may have got big hair, but do you see whiskers on this handsome face? No siree, boob!

[It's no siree... bob... anyway]

It sounds like you've had some pretty bad luck when it comes to guys.

Are you saying my hair looks bad?

[ there’s a subtle glare though she is smirking. ]

I’ve been cutting it for three years now. I’ve nearly perfected it. And I know it looks good, thank you very much.

[ she would never tell anyone about her hair. why she keeps it that length. that same style. never lets it grow longer. never dyes it. maybe change is hard for her like it can be for most. maybe she’s just too lazy to deal with long hair. it’s not unheard of. maybe it’s the one thing that keeps her linked to her past self, so when she looks in a mirror she feels a small connection to that person, to the faye before, and not hopelessly unfettered and temporary.

thankfully, getting the sads wasn't even a blip on her radar, because her radar is just dandy’s whole ass face right now, and her eyes have yet to peel away. this is the closest she's (willingly, not reluctantly) been with someone in a very long time. the first time she's danced with someone in just as long of time. it's uncomfortably intimate in most cases, but this time there's no force. she's here because she wants to be.

a phantom itch brings her hand to his face. she flattens her palm gently across his cheek and glides it down his jaw. ]

Huh. Guess you're right. Very smooth.

[ the itch is gone, and so she lingers just a few beats longer, brushes her thumb near the corner of his mouth only to dip down to trace beneath his bottom lip. all for a feel! her eyes follow the movement until she pulls her hand away and refocuses her gaze on his. ]

I’ve had pretty terrible luck with one guy. I haven't been very active in the dating scene. I just don't care enough to bother. This is probably the first date I'd even call a date. All the others were just—[ ways for you to scam doomed men out of their wallets ]—duds. [ a beat ] Hey, I don't remember you mentioning anything about any past girlfriends. Too painful to talk about, or are you just as unlucky in love as I am?

No.

[He says quickly, although it's sincere.]

No, it's cute.

[Dandy shakes his head, or well, he begins to. His head freezes in place mid-shake, and for a significant amount of time, he's savoring the sensation of her hands on his sweaty face. The alien hunter's eyes follow her finger, acknowledging Faye's gesture with a kind of subtlety he doesn't typically exhibit.

In some ways, they aren't that different. Faye can't remember much about her childhood and neither can Dandy, in part because he never really was a child to begin with. He has no mother nor father, no sisters nor brothers, and while he may appear human, this is the only age he can and will ever be.

For now and forever.]

Yeah, uh.

[Dandy doesn't like to talk about the darker moments of his past, but tonight perhaps the alcohol is to blame-]

She left me for some other guy- Paul.

[The last word is punctuated with a wrinkle of the nose.]

Ugh! See? Ya say the name out loud, and you just know that dude's a dud. "Paul" is a shit name!

[is it]

Well, tch! whatever.

He was pretty one-dimensional anyways.

[ she encourages without missing a beat: ]

You know what? Paul is a shit name. It's boring, unsatisfying, and who hasn’t met a Paul before that wasn't one or both?

[ but maybe they don't share a similar revulsion to the name, and maybe faye is just saying that to make him feel better. it doesn't have to be known. ]

For what it’s worth, you're the first person I've known to have a name like yours.

[ a unique albeit bizarre name. it's extremely appropriate for a man like him. ]

Faye, on the other hand, is terribly common. Valentine too.

[ she takes comfort knowing that valentine wasn't her real last name, though that's about the only comfort she takes. she may never regain that memory. and whether she likes it or not, faye valentine was her name now. she shrugs. ]

But hey, her loss, right? She’ll never know another Dandy, let alone one like you.

[ that’s…. suspiciously sweet coming from the likes of faye. and she smiles at him as if to reassure him. to think she's only had one drink?? ]

[She flatters him in a way that feels so very intimate, unintentionally reminding him of the final night he and Catherine spent together. Dandy is here with Faye now taking on a three-dimensional form, but due to the secret nature of his one-of-a-kind gift, he has bouts of all-knowing, all-seeing perception... Whenever he wants to truly see what it is that currently he's looking at, that is.

So the Catherine he remembers isn't a box, but a thick-haired, lleggy, older woman, with a deep voice that always maintained a teasing lilt. They'd play games of cat and mouse much like this one, and eventually she grew tired enough of running and fond enough of Dandy to let him sleep in her bed.

One thing's for certain, however- She was always hard to hold. Those harsh edges of hers, unfriendly and sharp... They had always been there, right from the start.

She never had any intention of really letting him in, and he knew that.]

But it's a beautiful name.

You're the only Faye I know... Which sucks for all the other versions!

[He reaches out to brush a strand of Faye's hair behind her ears, then leaning in so that he can whisper-]

I don't think I'd like them as much.

[ the affectionate gesture. the brush of his breath paired with the throaty inflection of his words in her ear. it all encourages an involuntary shiver and swarm of goosebumps to spread down her arms. it’s not until that very moment, with dandy’s face hovering so close to hers, where all either of them would have to do is tilt their heads a certain way and suddenly their mouths meet, that faye becomes painfully aware of just how close she's let dandy get. ]

You like me, huh?

[ she, too, could be unfriendly and sharp, with hard edges that made her hard to hold despite being soft to the touch. no intention of letting anyone in, not even at an arm's length. you'd never guess it looking at her now: willingly pressed close, arms draping over dandy's shoulders with little care. ]

Even though I held a gun to your face and threatened to shoot you?

[ the question seems to amuse her, evident in the smile spreading across her face as she leans back just enough to draw his eyes to hers. ]

Most men would've run in the opposite direction.

[A vortex of cosmic destruction inside of him begins to whirl, threatening to tear him apart from the inside. Temporary pleasures of the flesh are fleeting, entirely external in nature, but the prospect of something real, something far more permanent? The pyonium within him can sense it, and as a result, activates.

This doesn't happen often, and truth be told, it never did with Catherine. So there's not a thing in his head that can tell him how to deal with the potential chaos that could disrupt the fabric of their very universe...]

Well, that's easy! I'm just not that kinda guy.

[But Dandy hardly ever sweats the small stuff, or the big stuff, or whatever else in between. Instead he tethers himself in this moment, where their bodies are pressed close to one another, and he can see her eyes and feel her breath despite everything in this stuffy club fighting for a top spot in his sensory overload.]

Not the kinda guy who would run away from you, and not the kinda guy you thought I was.

[His issue of the following invitation is gentle, spoken with an air of grounded warmth:]

Say, do you wanna come home with me tonight?

After all that alien huntin', my twinkle-toes are plain tuckered out.

Not that kind of guy, huh.

[ faye says, though the words won’t reach, spoken in a voice that was soft enough to be easily drowned out. it’s almost said with an air of disappointment but not even she’s for certain whether she should be or not. she’s heard that line time and time again, and it often becomes the harbinger of whatever ulterior motive was getting ready to reveal itself. dandy was clearly deprived of human touch (living with just a cat and a robot? hey, she understands... ), with the mind of a hormone-raging teen boy (that she understands a little less), but from the very start she’s struggled to figure out what this guy’s deal was. the REAL deal ~~ya feel?~~ it wasn’t that he was particularly hard to read but it was all a facade, there was something more to him, and she knew that just hours into their first meeting; cemented later after he had smashed the mirror in his bathroom.

that night feels strangely distant now. but here, right now, the two of them, on a date of all things, exchanging heat and heavy gazes, and nearly swallowing each other’s breath—it feels very real. and she's very much present in the moment.

so what’s the deal?

what’s her deal? ]

Maybe I'm not the kind of woman you thought I was either.

[ faye’s arms move then to tighten around dandy’s neck slightly, securing her to him, guiding his hips with her own with a bit of force. she searches his eyes with a playful little smirk on her face. ]

If I go home with you, does that mean we're passing out on the couch once we get there?

[ her mouth hovers an inch closer to his. he can smell the artificial cherry scent of her lipstick. ]

Because I think there's still some dancing left in me—

[ she's challenging his space so much that it's practically an invite (a plea?) for him to kiss her; watching him with those round, green eyes of hers. ]

—if you catch my drift.

[Oh, and catch it he does.

This in intoxicating, he can't deny that. He call smell her lipstick from here, and the temptation to forego all hesitation and ruin everything by kissing her is palpable. The drive to do it is pulsating like the music that reverberate from the speakers around them, thrumming within him, not unlike many of the stupid rhythms he hums and creates for himself.]

Eh!

That depends on what you're in the mood for when we finally get there. If we get there! I dunno if I'll be able to feel my legs after this. They're like, attached still, right? Geez.

[Surprisingly blasé, huh.

He's bluffing.]

I'm not gonna tie you down or anything if you happen to change your mind.

But you promised to tie me up, remember? Or should I tie you up instead? Give those tired legs of yours a break?

[ that familiar, flirty lilt of her voice she's been using all night. she's a woman well-versed in her magnestism—she knows she doesn't need to do much to get a man yearning. what she never truly expects is the need she experiences for them. their body. their warmth to crash into. maybe she leans a little heavy in her touch, in the way she scans dandy's face for an uncomfortable amount of time, painfully intimate for such an unforgiving woman, because she knows this could only be temporary. nothing was allowed to last. not even this dance. there's comfort to be found in that.

for what seems like an eternity hinging off whether they'd kiss or not, the window of opportunity comes to a close as faye moves to unravel herself from the man. there's a hint of reluctance when all bodily contact is suddenly no more. still, she smiles at dandy, all cool and confident, nodding her head towards the exit. ]

Say, let's get out of here, yeah?

[ there's too many people all of a sudden. to escape from the hold of the crowd, faye grabs one of dandy's hands and leads him out in a skillful way that limits how many bodies they bump into. she doesn't look back until they've completely cleared it; wandering off only to return with her jacket. she slips it back on while ushering them towards the door. once they're in the night air, faye emits a loud sigh. ]

God, it feels so much better to be out of there. That was fun and all but it was getting a little, uh, stuffy...

[ ... annnnd that means: time for a cigarette! cue her digging around for one. ]

Somethin' tells me we'd both prefer it that-a-way.

[Dandy, whose face is still covered in drippy black eye makeup and tacky glitter, gains an air of cheer when he feels the cold night hair on his sweaty face. He oscillates between aloof and a little too excited either way, coming on too strong or not strong enough, and this is no different.

His fingers curl into hers, and the alien hunter notes that despite the number of punches she throws, her nails are still done. He wonders if she gussied herself up for this specifically, and rubs a thumb over the nail of her own.

The second she begins to reach for a cigarette, he breaks free of her grasp, taking the opportunity to wrap both arms around her middle before nuzzling his trademark, Dandy-shaped chin into her shoulder.]

Hey.

I think I finally figured out why a smokeshow like you is always smokin'.

You're doin' it to feel warm right? To get at an itch you can't scratch with your pretty fingers.

Well this is warm, right?

[ faye tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, eyes cast on her jacket. sweat has given her face a slight sheen but her makeup has remained intact for the most part, unlike a certain alien hunter. an interesting thing to behold after first impressions had her convinced that dandy was the kind of man who really cared a whole lot about his appearance. especially the hair which currently sits somewhat deflated atop his head. and while the former might be true, this ‘look’ also tells her that he can be messy too. it's kind of

attractive? ~~is it the leather...~~

searching, she’s more determined now to use the cigarette as a means to avoid long, awkward pauses now that they’re no longer grinding on each other. to busy her mouth so that he had to say something first—and so he does, just as intended, all while wrapping his arms around her middle.

she forgets about the cigarette. almost doesn’t quite catch what he says. her arms relax and her hands drop away from her jacket without a fight. ]

Yeah. This is… warm. [ she clears her throat ] Really warm.

[ and she stands there with him for a small moment, surrendering to that human need for touch, the sticky press of his skin against hers a stark reminder of how deeply she's craved it. no one holds her like this. no one has really managed that far. ]

I think it's more along the lines of stress and nicotine addiction that keep me smoking but...

[ she trails off, peeling herself from him slowly. carefully. it's crucial that she doesn't trip up and get lost in what is only meant to be temporary. that she keeps her footing, her sense of control in all of this. in the absence of his body, the air feels even colder. she swallows down a shudder and turns to look at him. ]

...if we're talking about keeping warm, I think I have a better idea.

[ her gaze is tender; her smile suggestive. ]

Lead the way?

[He does and he doesn't. Maintaining a particular "look" allows him to keep his identity consistent when he's got little else to hold onto in terms of memories.

Dandy isn't particularly concerned about his appearance tonight, instead more solidly focused on hers, imagining how the lines of her body would potentially feel against his own. Space Dandy is by no means a giant man, but Faye is even more petite and slender of frame, with curves in all the right places. But what he lacks in muscle mass, he makes up for with horniness for the ass!!!

Err. Maybe that's not quite right, nevermind.]

Oooh.

[Dandy reaches for her left hand casually, taking it in his right. Despite the cool front he's putting up on the outside, he's elated. Her hands are so much smaller than his, despite being so much more capable.

She seems legitimately happy.

This feels like a victory.]

I could get used to this.

[He tries to keep things light, jokey, even.

But it's true. He really could.

He shouldn't, though.

That much he knows.]

So, Faye! Tell me...

Isn't this a whole lot nicer than roughin' it out on your own?

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CALL ME OUT

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aggressively bows GOMEN!!!!

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this entire icon of his is stupid as hell

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proceeds to rise from the dead and go straight for the meaty stuff

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