an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
SPOILERS FOR INVINCIBLE ISSUE 70; cw: blasphemy, suicide
To hurt so damn much, to experience the most pain he had ever felt in his entire life, but only for a split second, and then... Peace.
But that's all over now.]
Agh! Oof. Fuck!
[Rex sits upright, his body surprisingly in one piece, and unceremoniously bonks his head against the back of a wooden church pew. He is covered in ash from head to toe, which serves as the only remains of his supersuit (and undergarments) that survived the incident. In her attempt to transport Rex to Libra's world safely, it appears that Elizabeth had to make a very
clothesclose call.]Ugggggh! Who'da thunk that the Pearly Gates would be on some fuckin' Vatican bullshit?! What about all that modesty garbo!
Oh! Iiiiii see. I get it! So it's okay for the rest of us to be poor? Meanwhile, Jesus' bitch-boy flunky Peter gets to point his goddamn pinky finger at a buncha souls for all of eternity in some nice-ass, old school church with stained glass windows?! I'm not gonna stand for this! In fact, I refuse to stand-...!!!
[He sputters, after rubbing the back of his head and in fact... Standing up.
Rex is doing his best to preserve what's left of his dignity with both of his hands, but unfortunately, he just looks like a lunatic. It's a good thing it's later in the evening and most of the churchgoers have probably gone home.]
Shit, shit, shit. It's Judgement Day, and I've got my dick out. God, whatthefuck. Okay, okay, maybe if I swing my cajones around and in the right direction? This Peter motherfucker'll let me off the hook! GAH! No, I'm pretty sure that's how I'll get sent to the other place...
Maybe the fact that I exploded my own skeleton to protect the others from evil Invinci-dolt is gonna win me some spiritual brownie points? Shit! I dunno!
Damn, I really didn't think this through all the way...
1/2
...But neither does he anticipate seeing who he does now. One hand is held, clasped around his mouth, green irises wide at the sight. When Libra speaks next, his tone is soft, scarcely uttered in a whisper: ]
Rex?
[ Maybe there is a small tremor in his voice too, but his surprise catches up to him as he takes in Rex's appearance properly. ]
2/2
Rex! Is it really you? By the goddess, I had never dreamed—please do tell me it is not a dream. Nor simply a vision or hallucination—!
And pray tell, are you injured? You're covered in ash and your clothes, they're...
[ Is it really any surprise Libra is now fretting over the other male? But there might be a bit of wetness at his eyes as well for once. ]
cw: full frontal ig im sorry fire emblem god
[Is what Rex manages to croak out, the signature hoarseness of his voice completely unmistakeable. He's too shocked to resist any worried touches, merely boring holes into the clergyman's countenance with his eyes. The young Guardian's weapons of mass destruction, also known as his fucking hands, fall to either side of his body as he's left to process this seemingly impossible fate. It's not as though interdimensional time-travel is out of the question per se, oh no! He's been privy to it a multitude of times. Why, it is simultaneously the reason he's here, the reason he has the faintest inkling as to what's currently happening, and of course, the reason why he's supposed to be a dead.]
Now I know the inside of my stupid brain is an even bigger asshole than I used to be, but... Whoa!
[What strikes Rex as most improbable is that, after twenty-something years of mostly suffering, constantly working hard and coming up short...
That something primarily good would happen to him, Rex Sloan. Something wholly positive, for the most part.]
God, when you blow yourself to smithereens, isn't your brain, like, the first thing to go? It's not connected to any of the right ports, for Christ's sake. For fuck's sake, it's gotta take one last metaphorical dump on my feelings like this? For fucking Naga's sake! Fuck!
[Without any sort of warning, he grabs one of Libra's hands, moving his fingers around the other's wrist. If Rex were in his right mind, he'd take note of the fact that no wedding ring is present, but for right now, he's searching for a pulse. Not long after, he lifts his other hand to the side of his neck, two surprisingly intact digits feeling for the same signs of life on himself.
Shit.
It's a match.]
Liebs? Is that really you? Whuuuuh... Wait! Say somethin' holy.
[And, of course, in one of Rex's worst foot-in-mouth moments to date-]
Are you still a virgin, my dude?
LMFAO
But!
He does let the darker-haired male touch him just so, especially since it is just around his wrist. To allow him to do what he feels what he needs to do to find the affirmation that this too is real. Though once he's done with that, he will instantly take off the cloak he's wearing because, hm.
Can't let his beloved one and only walk off full frontal, you know? ]
Dear Naga...that is the first thing you think to ask me?
Then again, it is so you.
[ He will toss the cloak right at him. ]
To answer your question properly...I don't see why I would not be. Please also clothe yourself properly while you are in a house of the goddess and the heavenly father.
snags wifi during my 9 hour exam to send this
Without saying anything at first, the former black ops agent makes himself comfortable in Libra's clothes, for once not making an attempt to show off his body. He's had to assess many an awful situation in record time, especially in the past few months, and the weight of it all hits him like that of a falling skyscraper.
Not unlike the lavender scent that enters his nostrils, presumably from Libra's cloak itself.
He remembers this smell. It used to make him feel comfortable.]
Sorry.
[He resists the instinctual temptation to explain himself, to let Libra know that his very existence should have been snuffed out entirely. That the idiotic prattle he had just uttered was him making sense of the situation.
There is almost no way he'd luck out this hard. To end up in the care of a man he's pined after since they parted? Rex is still half-convinced that this is a dream, and that the all-powerful shmuck running the soul monopoly is constructing a cleverly crafted ruse to lure Rex Splode's stubborn spirit into the afterlife once and for all.
But he knows better. Time and time again, Rex has seen people rise from the dead, both in his homeworld and back in Jack's prison. Even death has become impermanent.]
That's Code Rex for, "Are you still single?"
It's been a while. Three goin' on four years for me, but. I know that time travels faster in some worlds and slower in others.
[Spoken entirely from experience.]
So we're in Ylisse, right now?