an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
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It'd be nice if they could go to bars and hold hands and shit.
That's the funny thing about Space Dandy- He's got a helluva lot of raunchy fantasies, sure, but it's the little things, the tender moments... That seem the most fantastical of all.
They're always just out of reach.
Fickle. Momentary.
It's why he clings to the present so strongly.]
You've never passed out with one of your crushes somewhere?
[He says this all while racking his own mental roledex for a memory. Anything similar.
Once again, he finds nothing.]
Fall asleep while studyin' hard? Pass out after stealin' a few soft drinks from the local convenience store on a late night out?
Damn. Well, maybe it's a good thing you've got a crush on me.
[Dandy's jovial tone of voice dips for a second.
The facade drops, if only for a short while.]
I'm tired.
I'd like to fall asleep in somebody's arms for a change. Instead of my own drool, y'know?
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[Dandy’s examples only serve to remind Hagakure of how much he has missed out on in his young and dumb years. He’s never had friends to hang out with, let alone a crush who would give him the time of day outside of maybe hearing a fortune.
He lowers his head a little, looking down with a melancholy expression at the dissolving bubbles in their bath.]
And if I did get up to anything in high school, I don’t remember it. ‘Shima took those two years away from me.
[It really sucks when he actually stops to think about it.
But you know what? Whether he has never gotten to experience this before or doesn’t remember, at least he’s getting to do it now.
Keeping that in mind, he lifts his head high once more and takes hold of Dandy’s hand.]
You’re in luck, Dee, ‘cause I wanna fall asleep with someone in my arms. I obviously don’t have anyone to vouch for this, but I like to imagine they’re comfy enough.
We can finish up here if you’re that tired.
1/2
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Isn't that right, baby?
[His alarmed expression fades to one of kindness, and despite his routine tack-on of that corny vocal eccentricity, Dandy's tone of voice is gentle.
And oddly sincere.
He squeezes that hand back.]
And since I took yours, [HIS FLOWER?! DON'T U HATE IT HERE-] it's only fair that I take a few more showers with ya to make up for all of my sins.
I'm sorry. Your last few years sound like major bummers, man.
Lucky for you, Dandy's the life of the party! So maybe I can help ya feel a little better.
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That's totally right. [INCLUDING...THE BIT ABOUT HIS FLOWER BEING STOLEN...] I dunno about havin' to make up for sins 'n' all that, but I'm definitely not complaining.
[Because taking showers together is for couples. It makes Hagakure warm and fuzzy to think about it like that...]
You've already made me feel so much better. Seriously! Like...bein' here? With you? Pretty sure that string of bummers has been broken.
[For now.]
I really do appreciate it, though. I know those bad memories are never gonna be gone, but I've got some really, really good ones to balance 'em out now. And more to come, yeah?
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[He should know better by now. He should know better, and yet like hell he'd throw away this pleasant chance to fuel the fire inside of him, even if it burns him in the end.
Dandy makes his way towards Hagakure's side of the tub without a second of hesitation, so comfortable between the other's legs, it's entirely sleazy. He rests one of his elbows on the clairvoyant's shoulder, leaning over him fully, and then snakes a hand down Hagakure's midline as he speaks.]
Although I should probably make you come first. My treat!
[Dandy's voice is as low and alluring as he can muster.]
Sorry. I didn't want it to seem like I was stringin' ya along. Is that okay with you?
[unfortunately he is grabbing that pathetic excuse for an underwater sea serpent before the question is even finished smh!
Gently, Dandy begins to stroke Hagakure up and down.]
We can even smooch a little.
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Well, until Dandy makes his intentions entirely plain, of course.]
H-Huh? Like...right here?
[Confused and surprised as he sounds, that's not a "no". Especially when Dandy talks to him like that.]
I mean, I'm not gonna say n-
[Ah, didn't even get to finish that thought. Classic. Hagakure yelps as if this is a complete surprise to him. But once a rhythm is established, he leans back against the wall of the tub and takes hold of Dandy's sides.
After a breathless laugh:]
Seriously? So soon? You just finished cleanin' me off! [The slight buoyancy afforded by the water allows him to nudge up into Dandy's touch all the more easily.] Not that I don't have another round in me or anything...
this is short butt i had to get this cursed joke out of my headspace
[insert anime jerkoff motions here]
So long as you don't clog the shower drain, I think we'll be alright.
Maybe you should just aim for the ceiling.
Think you could even make it that far?
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actually a little Hagakure panic too]
Oh my gods, no. How would we get it off? Ross 'n' Joya would have so many questions...
[...the action is happening underwater, that is no chance of cum ending up on the ceiling.
As usual, no thought is happening in that head of his. Which, given how his hair is down, is not as big as it might seem anyway.]
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[Dandy flashes Hagakure a cheeky grin.]
I think the answer'd be pretty clear.
I could maybe see how you'd mistake it for toothpaste, but the texture just wouldn't be right.
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[They're not Dandy, in other words.]
But like! Tell me you can't picture 'em grillin' us like "Why'd you leave that disgusting shit in our public bathroom?"
[...]
Well, Joya would. Ross would do his very serious version of that, though.
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[Dandy knows that Joy would kick. His. Ass, so! That's about right, he won't address it.]
He gets real weird about this kinda stuff.
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[Hagakure can't help but think of Ishimaru when it comes to Rossiu... Well, in the "stick up the ass" department. Rossiu is nowhere near as emotional.]
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[He's just gonna manhandle Goob's balls now don't mind him.]
That nearly bald-headed boyscout got so much stress in his body he's already forgotten how anything feels. That just ain't right!
You know those rubber doinkety-doinks? At least, I think they're rubber...
[dildos?????]
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...and when the fog clears, he has a lucid thought about how they're really discussing Rossiu's sex life in the middle of a handy.]
Y'mean a dildo? Does he even know what those are? [Did Simon tell him? Surely Simon told him. AnYWaY:] You do got me there, though. It'd be much more enjoyable than havin' a stick up there.