an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
no subject
Damn, okay, this seems to be really serious. Robert pauses his kisses for a moment to peer back up at Flambae like he's really trying to figure him out. The vulnerability being shown to him is both very attractive and very freaky.
He lets out a puff of warm air, the corner of his lip curling up. ]
First of all, no one but God was meant to see them anyway. Also she was like a hundred years old.
[ He smooths a hand over Flambae's chest, almost like he's petting him. Soothing. ]
Secondly, I have eyes, Flambae. And I've spent a lot of time the past couple of days feeling them up. So yeah. I know.
no subject
Right, of course! They were only meant for God anyway... When Robert puts it like that, it's obvious.
Right before any of the comforting petting, he finds himself miming the sign of the cross. Actually, it's less so that he finds himself doing it, since it's a motion that sort of simply occurs instinctively.]
That is so true.
[To have Robert acknowledge him in any way, especially outside of intercourse or all of its adjacent horny happenings, remains bizarre.
It's what he's always wanted, hasn't he? Malevola had pointed it out two weeks or so before their first date.]
Holy shit! Literally! Fucking literally.
[That large man-bosom of his heaves to and fro whilst he gasps.]
Hoo.
[As the initial surprise settles and Flambae deals with the reverberations of his anxieties once more, all the jumpy, fidgety motions in his body and brain returning to normal, he's left with the dim realization that work tomorrow is going to suck for the both of them.
Fine, whatever. He'll eat shit again and the peanut gallery won't let him live it down, but what if instead of having to lick his wounds by himself, his boyfriend Robert will tend to them again?]
Ah, so... Since tomorrow is going to be some kind of trainwreck shitshow, mmm...
I guess we should say goodnight?
[There's an inkling of doubt in that last syllable.
Like he too doesn't want his blissful night with Robert to end either.]
no subject
Like Mother Theresa's tits.
If his reassurance was successful, that's all he cares about anyway! It's not like he was lying, either. Flambae does have really nice chichis.
It's also true that tomorrow is going to be more of a trainwreck shitshow than it normally is, simply because they're lacking sleep. Mind you, Robert lacks sleep a lot, it's just not usually for reasons like this. So he's not sure how it will all play out. He was certainly giddy enough all day today that it was kind of silly. ]
We probably should if we want to get any rest at all.
[ He lets out a small huff. He doesn't really want the night to end either. Not that work is bad, he just wants to keep feeling and figuring things out with his new boyfriend ... ugh. ]
I think they might get suspicious if we both called out for the day.
no subject
[He wants to ask Robert so many things, most of them silly. Like what his favorite childhood memories are, or what made him laugh when he was trudging around in the MechaMan suit. Surely, he must have had some pretty strange reactions to the thing, especially in the seedier neighborhoods of Los Angeles.]
I was gonna ask you if you'd let me do it, but...
[Flambae lets out a big sigh.
He tries not to question how natural it feels, holding Robert aga.inst his chest as they nod off. That it's nice to get the opportunity to tend to him in private, and that for all his hot-tempered flare-ups, Flambae maybe not-so-secretly loves to do some nurturing now and again.]
We both know the kind of stupid shit they'd come up with if I did that.
[He's quiet for a few seconds, wondering whether he should ask the next question.]
What are you up to this weekend? Other than drinking alone in a room full of... I was gonna say darkness, but then I realize you have that fuckton of lamps now.
[just imagine robert sitting in a room full of insane lamps and nothing else]
Sooooo many lamps.
[God, the guy doesn't even have... Well, he had one singular chair, right? What are the odds he found it in a hallway somewhere. Being familiar with his own disastrous mental health history, Flambae silently reminds himself to walk for telling indicators of depression in his new partner. Sometimes they are a lot more subtle than one would imagine.]
It would be like a crapload of candles, only that shit would just jack up your electricity bill without smelling like cinnamon apples or beachy sea salt.
no subject
He lets out a breath of his own, but it's more a sound of amusement than a sigh. ]
You don't have to ask my permission— But yeah, they'd roast you alive.
[ And they could do it, too, even though Flambae is made of fire.
He settles himself back down against his new favorite spot which is warm, broad, kinda hairy chest, considering the question with a hum. Robert isn't really the make plans for the weekend type.
He does chuckle softly about the lamps. It's a lot of fucking lamps. ]
I was probably going to do that, yeah. Why?
[ He sits up suddenly— so much for settling in — smiling impishly at Flambae. ]
You wanna ask me on a daaate?
[ He is teasing but actually his heart is pounding like a jackhammer. Giddy, silly things like this are still thrilling and exciting because it's new and he isn't used to them and he is, unfortunately, in very, very deep. Perhaps deeper than he realizes.
So yes, he wants Flambae to ask.
Are they actually going to get any sleep? The mystery remains unsolved ... ]
no subject
Flambae's nostrils flare again, although this time there is no threat of violence that accompanies the gesture. He simply glares at Robert with those beady, fiery eyes.
The thing is, he can hear and feel Robert's heartbeat. It beats with such a franticness that he should forgive the dispatcher for being such a moron, but old habits die so hard.]
Mother-fucker.
[He gives Robert a benign push to the shoulder, it's nothing. Considering what he's capable of, perhaps it is clear that Flambae himself is putting on some kind of show.]
You should be the one asking me.
[Even worse, he wasn't going to ask Robert on a date, he was going to fully invite him and his hairy empanada of a dog to stay with him this weekend. By being so annoying, maybe Robert has saved Flambae some embarrassment. Is he going too hard too soon?
Flambae has done his best to remain hopeful on the outside, especially in the past few years or so. Being gay in this respect has helped a lot, he never really held himself to the same standards as poor sister was held, but he still yearned for a long-term lover.
Someone who could grow old with him and know him well... And when it comes to relationships, maybe the assumption is too rude, but Robert will stay with whoever, probably. The guy didn't even consider leaving a job that would have absolutely killed him.]
no subject
And to be fair, he wouldn't even think about being asked to stay an entire weekend because something like that is simply not on his radar. Having something like this barely is, and all they did was fool around a lot and bicker after treating some injuries and failing at eating Chinese take-out.
He's a little disappointed he doesn't get asked, but not too much. Flambae kinda has a point. They're dating now, Robert can be the one to ask. He doesn't have to consider going home and drinking with all his lamps as the only reasonable (Robert, it's not reasonable) option. ]
Do you ... want to?
[ He doesn't have a specific activity in mind. Usually you ask someone if they want to do something specific, right.
Flambae probably also has a social calendar, but whatever. They're dating now... ]
We might actually be able to make it through a meal sometime.
no subject
[Flambae's answer is soft, revealing in what he doesn't say, maybe. He reaches out again, as if that's all he really wanted, tenderly grazing Robert's rough cheek with the thumb of his fully-fingered hand.]
Prism's album release party is Friday night, but...
[The firestarter's amber eyes dart to and fro, studying Robert's face nervously. God, where the fuck would they go? The real answer is anywhere, they could hit up a bar maybe, but that's especially hilarious considering that Flambae is banned from a good number of them in the city. How does one make an adventure out of something when they met under the circumstances of the ultimate adventure, life and death?]
We could maybe go to dinner or something? Somewhere where the bathrooms are crowded or... Extremely fucking disgusting, I dunno.
[To keep the from jumping each other mid-meal.]
We could dress up, maybe?
I haven't seen you in anything that isn't your uniform or your other uniform.
[Flambae feels self conscious all of a sudden despite the two of them being so close. How pathetic is it that Flambe actually can't remember the last time he grabbed dinner with a guy who he wasn't meeting the first, second, or third time.
The last time he had a serious boyfriend, he had also been seriously broke.]
You like sweets, right?
no subject
[ He just. Smiles. Simply. He's happy about it, even if he is the one who had to ask in the end.
Ah, but Prism's album release, that could be fun to go to, too. Or it could be completely chaotic as things involving the Z-team almost always are.
Robert laughs about the bathrooms though. It's not a terrible plan. ]
Yeah. I'm not sucking your dick in a dingy bathroom.
[ Really though he feels fairly confident that he can behave himself out in public. Fairly. As for going out looking sharp, well. He ponders for a moment if he should refuse it just because it's out of his comfort zone and price tag, or because they both know he looks and lives like some kind of bum.
It's not like he's against it though. Definitely not if he can see what Flambae looks like dressed up... ]
I'd, uh, have to go shopping.
[ It's not a no. But also Flambae would probably actually have to shop for him (terrifying) or trust that Robert would find something suitable (also terrifying).
He watches quietly a few moments while Flambae seems to struggle with some inner battle. Boy does Robert understand that the past 48 hours to say the least. To maybe add any sort of comfort, he ducks his head to plant a couple more of those light kisses against Flambae's chest. ]
I do, yeah.
no subject
After all, Flambae might just make him an outfit that's similar to his own supersuit, although instead of flames printed all over the bodysuit, the design would probably feature an overwhelming smorgasbord of tiny penises.
Instead, he chooses to focus his attention on the dingy bathroom comment, finally seeing an opportunity to flirt, especially without the pressure of being around their nosy coworkers.]
Oooooh.
[He shakes his head as exaggeratedly as possible, obviously groggy.]
I can assure you that my dick looks good even in the worst of lighting, Robert.
[He flashes a smile that's more confident than spiteful, and less toothy as well.]
I think I'll learn how to make you want me even if the surroundings happen to literally be dogshit, I mean, this is fucking LA, come on!
[Flambae snickers. For such a seemingly derisive sound, this laugh is a lot more subtle. There's more affection in it than derisiveness.]
Especially if I starve you first.
no subject
But no, he's not fully against being dressed up. It could even be ... fun? He's not sure, it's not like he does these kind of things often. Or ever. Even if he went to some fancy superhero function before he was probably just wearing his super suit.
He thinks he's doing pretty okay in life without an outfit decorated in tiny penises though. ]
Yeah but we'd still be in a dingy bathroom.
[ And Robert cares about germs, evidently. Bathroom germs at the very least. And yes, the "yeah" does indeed mean that he is agreeing that Flambae's dick would look good in any light. But whether or not that's read into, he doesn't care!! Rather, he's going to move right along in that throw-away way he does like when he makes blowjob comments to Invisigal and everything. ]
So you want to go on a date in the shittiest, dirtiest place in LA. Oh boy, can't wait.
[ That affectionate tone he senses in Flambae there makes him feel warm and he grins a bit himself.
They may have reached the delirious phase of staying awake at this point. Tomorrow is just plain doomed. But he clearly doesn't care about that either, as his voice takes on a challenging tone. ]
There's no way you would starve me. Not in any sense of the word.
no subject
Hearing Robert's low, drawn-out scraggle of a drawl accompanied by his trademark sarcasm does set off an unfortunate chain reaction within Flambae, one that he'd fight desperately to hide, provided that he wasn't snuggled up next to the long-term object of his affections at present. The exhaustion he is experiencing from days of poor sleep and ever-present homosexual fretting is what allows him to laugh genuinely, maybe acknowledging that Robert is actually funny for what seems like the first time.
Once again, he accosts Robert's shoulder with a light shove, the kind so un-treacherous it reads more like a schoolboy's excuse to exchange a lingering touch with a crush. Ugh, his voice is sexy.
So sexy it's something Flambae almost decides to tell him.
Thankfully, Robert's typical contrarian foolishness saves the both of them from any of that.]
It's not my fault your diet is fucking abominable.
[oh shit he's not protesting]
I think I've met seagulls that eat better than you.
And I once saw one swallow a whole condom wrapper!
[HELLO???]
Used.
no subject
He gives a light laugh of his own to the shove, which almost makes him cling to Flambae all the more.
But then he groans softly. ]
Oh my god. Well. I'm going to bed.
[ and he just... CLOSES HIS EYES?
After a few long seconds, however: ]
That is not better than I eat.
no subject
The dispatcher clings to him and he returns the fervor of that grasp. Is it any surprise that Robert likes to be held, well, no, considering his loveless and lackluster relationship history... But for it to be by someone like himself is still a surprise.]
You eat terribly.
[He states it with a matter-of-fact, joyful snippyness.]
The seagull fucking fattened itself on plastic and jizz, and that's basically what all Twinkies are anyway.