CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

[himbomb]

You mean the hero thing?

[The answer is complicated. Rex did willingly try to commit himself to a brighter path, a better future. But his original contract, meaning the years he's technically been "employed," goes so much farther back than that of his colleagues the same age. Eve is the only one who has been "working" for just as long, and even then, she was a plucky young super fighting crime on her own.]

No. I decided that. I wanted that!

Y'know, for me.

[The words are brazen, but his tone is not.]

Turns out I've got a whole damn bunch of marketable skills!

But it's not like I learned them in college.

[misspitbull]

[She eyes him dubiously, but lets it go. There’s a little bit of relief that she didn’t accidentally trip into some weird forced-hero ring. And… the fact is, his claim that he does it for him is familiar.]

I pageant for me, too. Everyone assumes that someone’s forcing me to do it. [Why does she do it, anyway? It goes back to her original question to Rex, about why he did hero work. There’s something about being so perfect that it both fools, and terrifies everyone. About being so perfect that you feel untouchable, at least, for a little bit of time.]

You’d like college life. It checks your three Bs. Maybe less with the bombs. Bonfires, though, lots of those.

[himbomb]

[He would, in theory. There's lots of parties and plenty of girls to plow through with no strings attached, but he'd never get in, now would he?

Rex makes himself at home at parties. Superhero parties, that is.

He remembers when Eve had taken him to some dinky little highschool dance. Sadie Hawkins, or whatever. All these annoying little brats, and while most of his heroic colleagues would perceive Rex to be exactly that, immature and out of his depth... There is so much that sets Rex apart from them. For one, he's more useful. He knows how to survive out in the streets on his own and has braved harsh Chicago winters with little to no electricity. He appears boorish and impulsive, which he is, but he had managed to slip under the nose of Cecil Steadman himself, all under the age of sixteen.]

No.

[And, of course, none of those kids knew what it was like to kill a man, and that leaves him furious. He may fight Samson, claiming that he's done his best, even though all those children died due to his own lack of foresight, but there are so many reasons behind his insufferable behavior. Rex does not want to be responsible for the deaths of any more innocents- He's already irrevocably snuffed out so many flames.]

No, I wouldn't.

[misspitbull]

Hmph. [There’s a little bit of frustration hinting at her voice there—- but it’s just because someone’s disagreeing with her. It’s not something people normally do with her, disagreeing, not since Anna died. Not to her face, at least.

She hadn’t realized she missed it.]

I guess you can get beer and boobs wherever.

[himbomb]

Oh, now I definitely can.

[Yes, that's him tooting his own horn about how hot he is.]

'Cause I'm, uh, smexy.

[STOP!!!! unfortunately i would have to add in the detail that "smexy" is uttered breathily with the jason mantzoukas "sexy time" rasp]

'Cept here it seems. Everyone's a smelly old man or a goddamn rugrat. Minus you and the priest.

[butt what about-]

Slimon doesn't count. Incels are on the NO-FUCK list, obviously!

[misspitbull]

[Parker rolls her eyes so dramatically that it almost hurts. She probably should stand up
for Simon, but she’s not quite there yet—- so she just lets it slide.]

Is that why you’re in here, splashing around with no clothes on? Trying to make someone notice how smexy [She tries to mimic him. She fails.] you are?

[himbomb]

Aaaah, yeah! Duh!

[Yes and no.

The supersuit, as cherished as it is, is a uniform as much as it is a symbol. When he wears it, he is supposed to be working hard, although Rex usually is hardly working. When he is in his own skin and just that, he finally feels like himself.]

Not enough of you people seem to appreciate how hot I am, and I am hot! It doesn't matter if ya wanna fuck me or not, the Handsome Bastard title is non-negotiable.

[misspitbull]

Hmm. [She glances over his way again, as if she has to double check to see if he’s lying or not.]

You are probably the second hottest one here. [Said. Matter of factly.]

[himbomb]

[Ah. That's the validation he was seeking.]

...Then who's in first place?

Oh my gawd. Please don't tell me it's supposed to be you?

[Honestly, she's an acceptable answer because narcissism. If it's anyone else he will start to feel jealous.]

[misspitbull]

You had to ask?

[UGH. She moves to the edge of the pool, and starts to climb out.]

[himbomb]

Yeah, I guess I walked myself right into that one.

[He watches her as she gets out of the pool. Water has a way of making one's clothing adhere even more closely to someone's body, and it's distracting, to say the least.]

...Wow.

Leaving so soon?

[misspitbull]

[Parker is, unfortunately, awful—- and is fully aware of what she’s doing. She pauses, over halfway out, to look back at him and flash a bright smile.]

What? Should I stay?