an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
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The meld, or the merge, feels like he soulful equivalent of tips touching. You know which ones.
Crap, crap, crap, now is not the time for horniness... Not with Eevee here?!]
Forever's a long time.
[The fact of the matter is, that's not the right word.
This won't last forever, nothing ever does.
But Dandy has made peace with that long ago. It's why he chooses to live in the moment and hardly ever sweats the small stuff.]
We'll be majorly old and wrinkly by the end of it~!
Everything's prob'ly gonna succumb to Gravity, baby, she's got grabby hands!
[NO, NOW HE IS DOING THE TITTY HANDGRAB MOTION-]
Still think it's a good idea?
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On that fateful night that the two of them first made love, Dandy had asked Hagakure if he believed in spiritual wavelengths and seemed disappointed when Hagakure responded that he couldn't really sense them down at the bottom of the ocean. He certainly can now, though. They're perfectly in sync, his and Dandy's.
All of this sentimental introspection is cut out by a laugh. It's Hagakure's own laugh.]
Uh, yeah it's still a good idea! [As if there was any doubt?] Even if your dangly bits get droopy, that's not gonna stop me from lovin' you.
'sides, I've got a feelin' that even if we're both old, I'm not gonna find you any less hot.
[It's more than a feeling. He's seen it. The two of them, advanced in age but no less happy to have one another, enjoying the the sakura blooms of a far-off planet that Dandy has yet to forget to bring Hagakure to every year.]
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You're a real charmer, aren'tcha, Hiro?
[It's Dandy's turn to be bashful.]
I happen to think that the people I love look better with age.
[He's spouting this shit off the top of his head because it feels right, not because he can pinpoint the experience.
Dandy is the reckless sort, prone to getting into fatal accidents and dangerous situations. As of recent, he has yet to survive a timeline where he lives an entire stretch longer than forty years, and the majority of them end somewhere between twenty-five and thirty-two.
For a Dandy guy with a supposedly endless lifespan, that sure as hell is a short as shit life expectancy.]
'Cause each extra line or additional grey hair's a measure of the time we've been together.
Or maybe I gave them some of those greys 'cause I was bein' a pain in the ass! Still, it's my work then, and I like to think of it as Dandy's assterpiece.
[...a silence passes]
I mean masterpiece.
I'm so glad you're doin' me the honor of bein' mine.
I think you're prettier than all the pricey paintings they sling up on the walls of those fancy places. Whadda they call 'em?
Mausoleums?
[YOU MEAN A MUSEUM!?]
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Thanks. I mighta gotten it from a certain someone here.
[And no he doesn't mean poor Eevee, who continues to be an amazing sport about the whole thing. He sports a grin as he leans over to give the fluffy little guy a pet.
Hagakure could definitely make a jab about Dandy causing grey hairs, because after that scuffle in the Thinker's room he's pretty sure he's going to end up with some premature ones.
He doesn't go for it, though, because...look, this is all very sweet and he can feel his cheeks heating up. Yes, even that extremely cringey word mix-up is sweet, though Hagakure can't help but snort lightly over it.]
I- I think you mean "museums", Dee.
[The biggest surprise here is that he isn't freaking out about being accidentally associated with something as creepy as a mausoleum. He's too busy thinking about how endearing his silly space husband(?!) is.]
I couldn't have asked for a better artist, though. But if you don't mind, I'm not gonna rush to get those lines 'n' grey hairs. I wanna be young 'n' spry for a while longer.
[Now that the tension has lessened considerably for the both of them, he lifts his head up to search for Dandy's lips.]
Not that I think age is gonna slow us down that much...but I'm not takin' my chances. I wanna make the most use outta all this youthful stamina, if ya know what I mean.
[Wink wonk.]
1/3
2/3
3/3
Love is indeed a work of art, perhaps in its truest form. Beautiful to some and incomprehensible to others, usually requiring several tries to get things just right or close enough.
Some may never manage to make that happen. Dandy's finally got his chance, and with that, he stands to his feet.]
Grab the creature.
[Of course, the thing that sets Dandy's motivation ablaze is the promise of... Well, booty.
Screw mausoleums! Museums, whatever.]
I'm ready to go.
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Truly he is suffering from success right now.]
Oh, uh...okay!!
[He scoops Eevee up into his arms once more before joining Dandy. After shifting a little to hold Eevee in one arm, he reaches for Dandy's hand with the other.
There are still some lingering nerves, but he can finally say to himself that he too is ready.]
Can we stay like this 'til we get to the other side?
[So they at least they know they're not separated going in.]
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[It's unclear as to whether he's actually joking, or just being an idiot.
Either way, he'll interlace their fingers together. For all of Dandy's boorish posturing, it's clear from the way his thumb brushes over one of Hagakure's knuckles that he's cherishing this moment.]
Young 'n sexy?
[NO, YOU BIG-HAIRED BUFFOON!!!]
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Nooooo! We're gonna stay young 'n' sexy afterwords too, aren't we?
[He gives Dandy's hand a squeeze, smiling in his direction. It's a smile full of fondness.]
I mean, can we go in holdin' hands? I figure if we're linked, maybe it'll have some added protection 'n' all that.
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[Dandy blinks a few or so times, surprised by the sudden warmth that finds its way onto his (face) cheeks. He was going to start going on about how your hair supposedly falls out when you warp, but somehow he’s forgotten all about it.]
Uh.
Gimme a sec?
[With the hand that isn’t holding Hagakure’s, Dandy attempts to clumsily pull the other’s body flush to his own.
Or well, as close as possible without suffocating Eevee. Unless Eevee is into that? I regret making that joke.]
There we go! That should do it.
[Keep them from being separated.]
Now we’re like those babies that’re born with their hips attached to each other’s, only not!
‘Cause if we were brothers?! That would be weird.
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[Hagakure's forehead nearly bumps Dandy's as he's pulled in and Eevee lets out a startled vui!, but everyone is fine in the end. The fluffy Pokemon playfully paws at Dandy's charm as Hagakure makes a second attempt at kissing the space idiot.]
Yeah, this is perfect. [...he lets out a light chuckle.] Despite you takin' it to a weird place.
[Metaphorically speaking though, Dandy's right about that. They probably are going to be attached at the hip after this. Inseparable. Hagakure wouldn't have it any other way.
He takes one last deep breath before looking into Dandy's eyes with determination.]
Okay. Let's do this. Aloha Oe, here we come!
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Stupidly, he lingers in place and casts a quick look over his shoulder at the scenery they will soon be leaving behind.
Dandy can curse that hovel under the sea as much as he wants, but there is no question about it- It's given him the opportunity to meet the love of his lives, and has set him on the path to growing and changing into a kinder, more considerate Dandy guy.]
...Yeah.
[muttered tsundere-ly under his breath-]
Let's hope we both make the big finish, baby.
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He follows Dandy’s example to give the beach one last glance before they leave it behind. His memories of the beach in particular will be nothing but fond—he partied it up with the friends he’d made and established contacts he hopes to keep for life—but the ocean beyond…well, he’d have never made those friends in the first place if he didn’t end up there. There’ll be nightmares, he’s sure of it, but that doesn’t mean the good memories will fade.
It also occurs to him that aside from when they go to meet up with his mom that this may be the last time he’ll see Earth as he knows it. It’s surreal to imagine, but he made peace with it long before this moment.
He’s ready to live among the stars with the brightest one of them all.]
Well now that you’ve gone and put it like that, it’d be really embarrassing if we didn’t.
nsfw, i tag, in my own horny musebox
It's time for us to ride the cosmic waves~!
[Dandy should be doing the same, doing the Dandy thing of staying in the present so he can move right on back to derping around for no good reason, but he can't help himself this time.
He isn't fantasizing about BooBies or women's bodies at all, nor is he ruminating about the way that said cheeches and chongs nearly spill out when a girl leans over in a revealing top. He's wondering which planet to take Joy to when she visits, and what kooky souvenir Misfire will get a kick out of on his end of hyperspace. He should probably send Jon some kind of card to congratulate him on his wedding, especially since Dandy can't afford any fancy gifts, and will have to remain on the lookout for any transmissions from Rossiu, who apparently really is some planet's supreme leader.
But most of all, he's excited and elated to finally know what it feels like to be going home. Dandy has gravitated towards humanity and whispers of their origin planet, and like any creature who has been alive forever, his room is full of nostalgic things that fall in line with this. Tchotchkes from a bygone era are littered about his living space.
Here Dandy is, standing on a real, Earthly beach, and all he can think about is how excited he is to share what he really loves about being alive with someone who has yet to learn what that truly feels like.
Free from caged walls.]
Cowabunga, baby.
[When Dandy, Hagakure, and the rest of the crew touch down at BooBies, he will discover that a new location has replaced the titty bar for the top spot in Dandy's heart. It is the space on Hagakure's chest that Dandy rests on when they go to sleep, which coincidentally is also the best place to hear the other man's heart go on badunkadunk-dunkin'.]