an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
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I mean what I'm about to say with all my heart, so listen close, okay?
[He breathes a light sigh before tipping his head forward with a smile.]
You being by my side is more than enough.
[There's a silent implication that this is true no matter what context their relationship ends up in. Over the course of the night, he's made peace with the potential reality of them remaining friends and nothing more.
At least, he thinks he has. His heart will tell a very different story in the morning.]
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[The sentiment is so simple it is enough, or at least it should be.
Dandy's relationships as of recent have mostly been established due to happenstance. A sprinkling of a few, happy accidents mixed in with a whole bunch of wacky cosmic ones. Dandy knows that the last time they were together, their inability to resist temptation was the ultimate cause of their undoing.
But now that he thinks about it, that sounds like a bunch of rotten baloney. They both like each other! Who gives a rat's furry booty...]
You said you were into boobs, right?
You know I'm butt-guy.
[Don't worry, he is going with this, even though it SOUNDS like he's being distant smh-]
Maybe that means we balance each other out.
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[He stupidly reiterates, unknowing of how miserable he'd actually feel if nothing came from this.
But that's a problem for Future Hagakure. He peers down at Dandy as the other man goes on about their preferences in body features...and can't help but laugh. He tries to be gentle about it so he doesn't jostle Dandy around.]
Like yin and yang, only boobs and butts!
[Absolutely cursed comparison. He is never going to reach enlightenment now.]
if this tag is a dip in quality its bc i am truly ass(shamed)
[This is why Dandy has yet to achieve Nirvana despite his many attempts... But in a strange way, he enjoys the run-of-the-mill whimsicality that comes with being alive. The downs are there, sure, but the ups make it all worth it.
For Dandy, anyway.]
Sounds like it might be the perfect time to give you a kiss goodnight, baby.
it's not your fault you're playing an embarr(ass)ment
[...but wait, what would they do if they found that perfect body? Sharing would be really weird for both them and the person involved.
The answer is quite simple: neither of them would score. However, Hagakure is going to find himself wondering about this later.
For now, he's immediately pulled toward the mention of a kiss.]
Oh yeah? Been a looooong while since I got a goodnight kiss.
[And if he's being honest, his mom giving him a kiss on the forehead before bed hardly counts.
Mostly.]
...I'd really like that, though. Seriously.
THERE WILL BE KISSING AFTER THIS INFERNAL COMMENT I JUST COULDN'T PUT THEM 2GETHER
[NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
It has been a while.
For me, anyway.
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I- I mean…!
I was just thinkin’ of it like a treasure hunt. I didn’t even think about what we’d do if we found it…
[He doesn’t sound opposed though…………]
adds to seto's cursed content reading list
[Dandy laughs, reaching a hand out to once again rub the stubble on Hagakure's chin idly with the back of his hand.
He's exhausted, there's no doubt about it, and yet he's still stalling.
If he falls asleep, there's a chance that he'll wake up and realize that this whole night was one long dream.
And that's the funny thing about dreams- You often forget them.]
What would you wanna do?
Sure, it's great if you're in the middle n' all, but if you're the boom-boom operator- [if you're not sure what kind of threesome dandy is talking about i can't say that i am either] On the sidelines? It's sort of like just watchin' someone eat a delicious meal without gettin' a chance to steal a bite for yourself.
adds to my own cursed content reading list
[Though his embarrassment remains, Dandy paying some attention to his chin helps to distract him enough into giving this subject some serious thought. He hums in contemplation as his fingers curl ever so slightly out of contentment.]
Well that wouldn't be as fun...
[Suddenly struck by an idea, he perks up a little.]
Hey! If she was in the middle, then we'd both have access to our favorite assets! Win/win!
[Assets, if you will.]
uh oh
You wouldn't be jealous?
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I would be if I had to sit and watch.
[...and not just because he was missing out on the metaphorical meal.]
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Dandy doesn't recall the specifics of it, but isn't that what happened with Catherine and Paul? Hadn't he watched them flirt while he was sitting off to the sidelines, stuffing his face with fries and waiting for the worst to happening, all while never doing anything at all?
God, if this is what post-nut clarity feels like, he doesn't want nything to do with it.]
Of me?
[He shouldn't have asked, so he follows up with another question.]
Or her?
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No, of-
[He briefly cuts himself off.]
Yeah, that one. Of her.
I already told ya... I'm a boob guy 'n' all, but I'd still be pretty dang jealous if a girl with perfect boobs was havin' you all to herself.
[He's not even stopping to think about what he's saying. His true feelings are plain as day, and yet he's pretending like he'd be fine with leaving it all behind as a happy memory.
But Hagakure has never been one to think very hard, and unfortunately he's not starting now.]
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He's done that thing where he's tried to buy himself more time, only to end up backing himself into a corner.]
That's not true, though.
I don't think she would.
You're too distracting.
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Hagakure opens his mouth, but immediately closes it. He's briefly at a loss for words.
On his second attempt:]
You mean... I'd distract you from her?
[He really shouldn't assume it'd be in that order, but he can't help but hope.]
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Dandy has always been the sentimental sort, moved by emotion and the nature of his own feelings more than anything else. He’s pretty open-minded when it comes to women, despite all the disgusting things he says.
Being with a man isn’t so bad, either. At least Dandy doesn’t have to worry about any surprise mouths to feed popping up out of nowhere.]
Yeah.
Isn’t that what I said?
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[Another moment of silence passes, at least from Hagakure's mouth. His erratically beating heart is another matter entirely.]
Well, all the more reason to make sure we're both in on the action! Right?
[This is starting to go far beyond the logistics of a threesome.]
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Which in turn makes Dandy feel irritated.
That's not the poor psychic's fault, though, so he'll slough back down and onto Hagakure's chest.]
Right.
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He's petrified to make a move.]
Did I say something wrong?
[He ultimately goes for a straightforward question, quiet and afraid. He sounds about as small as he feels right now.]
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...No?
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Y-You sound mad, though.
HE IS SO ANNOYING
I just don't sound happy.
[YOU SURE AS(s) HELL DON'T!!!!]
I can sound neutral sometimes, can't I?
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[He doesn't mean to raise his voice, but it happens without him thinking.]
I don't got a problem with you soundin' neutral, it's just...makin' me worried right now.
[But this is a start, at least.]
If you're not happy, then I obviously said something wrong.
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Well, not everything's about you!
[He fires back.
Shit, that's not true. Dandy is talkative, but friendly? It's not the first word that comes to mind regarding his demeanor, not on first glance. Uncouth or rowdy... Both of those words feel more appropriate.]
Sorry... Baby.
I didn't mean it like that.
You've never seen a naked girl in person, right?
[He tries his best to make that question sound less... Pejorative.
It doesn't work.]
I wouldn't wanna get in the way of that.
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I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- [He cuts himself off with a pained noise.] You're right.
[It wasn't his intention to make the conversation so one-sided. He just wanted to try to understand.
He feels so utterly trapped in the seconds that follow. He almost considers asking if leaving would be better for both of them right now, but that thought is momentarily interrupted by an apology on Dandy's end.]
...No, I haven't.
[It feels something akin to salt in the wound, but he tries to tell himself that it probably wasn't intentional.]
But why would you think you'd be getting in the way? I wouldn't even bother if you weren't there to enjoy that with me.
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