CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

[incinerhater]

[Look when it comes to glory holes, he’s mostly been on the other side of them. The encounters were highly dangerous, but that had been a big part of the appeal in the first place. There was always the anonymity and plausible deniability that it came with that had helped, too.]

Aha, no, it’s not-

[Obsessed doesn’t even begin to be the half of it. Not to mention the hours he’d spent unknowingly thinking about Robert in prison, cursing MechaMan and swearing he’d get his revenge on him if he ever saw him again…

And now, he’s hearing the kind of words he almost can’t believe. He’s a grown man too, closer to middle age than he would like to be, and it’s a horrifying, wretched realization when it is so adorably uttered back to him that…

It’s so nice to be wanted, specifically, in that way. And by someone who he’s had some degree of feelings for in a while. There’s a lot more crazy things he’d do even just to get Robert’s attention, so he has to laugh at the endearing note about hacking, resting his forehead against Robert’s body while letting out the sound, then carefully wrapping his arms around the other man to pull him in.

Flambae is loud and brash, unapologetic about who he is. He’s fiercely loyal if he loves you and a total bitch to anyone else!

Chad is sensitive and can be a little quiet. There’s an insecurity to him that’s not as easily hidden by loud bluster, and that is who Robert is getting a chance to see now. He can be funny sometimes, though, and more often than not he’s a but strange.]

I don’t think he was being all that serious about-

[Me, us.]

T-things… Anyway.

[Also, having a cute little nerdy boyfriend hack into things for him just to be petty? Oh, be still his beating heart. The timid, gay teenager in Afghanistan would have eaten that shit up.]

I am pretty sure he just wanted to play a little game of grab-ass with me.

[Which, by admitting this, he’s showing his own cards a little.

Sometimes he’s so desperate to be touched, he’ll take anything.]

That’s it.

[bobbob]

[ Still, describing a weight-lifting tool as a gloryhole is crazy actually.

But anyway. Robert feels a little triumphant, for absolutely no reason, that it seems he won't have to harass some random dude into stepping off his man (his man? God, that's so— he doesn't know what it is or if he can even say that at this point!!! Jesus Christ).

What he's not expecting is for Flambae to turn into Chad, and for Chad to look— just for a moment— a bit small. In fact, the dispatcher thinks twice before making some silly comment as soon as the other man moves forward. He has a private, quiet little smile to himself for a few seconds before he leans into it, putting his arms around Flambae. This is absolutely hurting his heart, but not in the way it normally hurts. Is this just ... affection? Different than the kind he has for Beef or Chase, but a whole lot of caring is going on right now. ]

Cancel, then.

[ His voice is pretty even and low every day unless he's in emotional or physical turmoil, but he keeps it warm and soft between them. ]

I'll grab your ass for you plenty of times on Sunday instead.

[ No need to get some guy with toupee pubes to do it. And yes, the words are a little joking, but what Robert means between the lines is that he's serious about this. And, to emphasize with a light kiss against that frustratingly gorgeous hair, he's more than happy to keep on touching Flambae (or Chad or both). ]

[incinerhater]

[For whatever reason, Flambae hadn’t expected Robert to return the embrace, nor could he possibly anticipate the way it makes him feel an emotion so deeply visceral, it sends him all the way back to a moment in his miserable and deeply isolating childhood that even he’s largely blacked out. His first real hug from another young man, someone whose name Flambae has not forgotten despite repressing the memory entirely, after one too many humiliating schoolyard outbursts. This is a pattern that has continued well into his adulthood hasn’t it, shouting and singeing anything and anyone who he sees as a threat, and then fleeing due to the catastrophic combination of self-hatred and shame that comes from the immediate remorse he experiences afterwards.

Robert was supposed to stand there limply with his (not so) noodley arms dangling in the air, or say something cheeky and borderline hurtful, not remind him of the first time he’d ever really been comforted by someone who wasn’t his fucking family member. It was the first fire of passion that he had ever felt, that one tinged with not just the desire to touch and be touched, but a quiver of something so much more integral to the very essence of being alive.

The need for human connection.

He had, for so long, settled on just being Robert’s adversary. Whether he was MechaMan or their straitlaced, by-the-books dispatcher, because it was the highest rung of significance he thought he could reach with him. Worst of all he was always well aware of Robert’s warmth in either form as well, whether it took the form of a firm but kind-hearted mentor or a flesh and blood hero pushing back in the fray, it just…

Didn’t seem like he’d ever be worthy of it. It still doesn’t.

The kiss to the hair is the last straw, he’s been needily clinging to the man for dear life for seconds that don’t nearly feel long enough, but suddenly lets go with a haste that seems wildly unnecessary.

That is, until he’s flinging his underwear behind him, probably so quickly that it’s likely to smack Robert square in the face to be honest, and the smell of burnt bathmat and an entire man being engulfed in flame quickly fills the room. There goes the sound of the shower curtain quickly being opened and closed as the water is turned on at full blast, and it’s apparent from both his shadow and the spout of steam that slowly lowers in origin that he has sunk down into a fetal position in the bathtub. He continues running the water until the last spindle of smoke slowly fizzles out.

Also, for reference, his smoke detector is fucking broken. He’s broken it by setting it off one too many times, and also… Fire he knows he can survive, the inconsiderate bastard.

Although the faucet is eventually turned off, he sits there in quiet embarrassment, huddled behind the curtain, naked and furious. How dare Robert be so nice about his hair!!!! After calling his ponytail greasy and saying all that shit about a touch from it being life-ending… AND getting noodles in it?!?!?!

He slumps further into fetal position. He has ruined things incorrigibly by being a stupid loveless piece of shit and probably scared the fucking dog!]

[bobbob]

[ Everything in those few moments happens so fast, Robert almost might have wondered if he'd lost his mind. Suddenly there is a pair of Calvin Kleins in his face and the temperature of the room has gone up exponentially, the shower is running, the curtain is being shoved-! Beef gets so startled that he farts as he leaps up from his spot next to Flambae and trots hardily out of the room (eventually to circle back in curiously).

Blinking through his confusion, Robert casually drops the underwear aside and looks to the drawn curtain of the shower. He waits until the water is off again and takes up a towel. Carefully he comes forward on his knees in front of the tub and pulls the curtain aside to look at Flambae.

He has begun to see that there are a lot of hidden aspects of the former villain that he has no idea about, but this is on a different level he thinks. There was nothing about his actions he can think of that he could have expected this sort of reaction from. Surely Flambae has never felt overwhelmed by attention. But maybe he's wrong. Or maybe there's a lot of feelings the man has been holding onto and thinking or obsessing about or puzzling through and Robert simply hasn't even scratched the surface. Honestly, he'd understand that. He's got a lot of feelings like that too, not all of them involving what feels like an entire semi-truck of emotions he has for Flambae specifically. ]

Hey, Chad.

[ He offers softly. Maybe it would be easier to be sarcastic or say something smarmy or even poke fun, but Robert doesn't want to. He wants Flambae to know how serious he is, and that his concern here is genuine. If there's going to be a fire every time he's soft with him, they need to figure that out.

Gently he holds the towel out. ]

Are you alright?

[ He doesn't think he did anything wrong per se, but he'd certainly want to know if a line was crossed. Or if he should approach things differently.

In a way it's nice though, since they're clearly learning some things together rather than feeling blindly all alone. Robert didn't know he needed that before, but he does now. ]

Did I do something?

[incinerhater]

[So much of the attention he receives is superficial or asinine, often given because the person on the other end can’t resist the insane proportions that Flambae seemingly always has on display. Tonight has pretty much confirmed that Robert too is not necessarily resistant to those charms, but he certainly seems fond of at least entertaining the idea of something more serious.

Flambae’s powers are closely linked to his pride, and losing control of them was yet another humiliating scene Robert has witnessed involving the both of them…

Hastily, he opens the shower curtain, his dark hair fully damp and sticking to his shoulders. Honestly, the sheen from the water and wetness somehow make his chest hair more prominent.

He takes the towel first.]

Quick! Say something that will piss the everloving shit out of me.

[look at him trying to be scary]

Also, am I really being pitied by a mongrel named after meat right now? Fuck, man, fuck my life.

[bobbob]

[ His proportions are indeed insane but honestly it wasn't even those that first caught Robert's attention. Not in a romantically inclined sort of way. Somehow it was his personality. Like the little glimpses of who he is when he's not being a raging asshole. Unfortunately, Robert really likes that person. Some part of him enjoys the asshole too but that's because he's a little bit of a freak himself sometimes.

He smiles once Flambae emerges but lifts a brow at the request. ]

No.

[ Because why the fuck would he do that?

If Flambae lets him, he reaches for the towel again so he can unfold it and help him dry off a bit. At least drape it around him and his dripping hair. And no he is not paying attention to the sheen of the chest hair or anything that could even potentially be horny at the moment. ]

Beef's not pitying you, he's worried. So am I. Are you going to do this every time I, what, kiss you? Put my arms around you?

[ He's not entirely sure what triggered the fire, if he's being honest. But he will get to the bottom of it. ]

[incinerhater]

[ofc the first thing he will do is protest]

No!

[The way that Robert drapes the towel over him makes his chest feel so damn tight. Not only will he allow for it, but it seems that no matter what he says with his mouth or his face, his body craves the comfort.

It’s only now, when he feels the bluster of his own heart palpitating at an unacceptably high rate, that he realizes Robert had addressed him tenderly by name, by his real name.

It sounds like so much less of a joke when Robert says it.

Instead of doing anything remotely normal, he lets out a frustrated growl and… With a wet (but full-fingered) hand, attempts to pull Robert close enough so he can bury his face into the dispatcher’s uninjured shoulder. He lies there for a few seconds, recouping, although he does eventually turn his head up to say:]

Wow.

This shoulder of yours… It is prime real estate for moping, holy shit!

[bobbob]

[ Since he's allowed, he drapes the towel and gently pats Flambae, trying to get some of the water. And also be comforting, even if he's a little confused as to whether that is actually wanted or not. The attempt only stops when he's pulled in again. Last time this happened, there was fire, so he's not entirely sure what to do this time.

It's a little frustrating to him too. But it's also endearing to see the hotheaded Flambae in such a state. He's not all that sorry for thinking that. ]

Okay, why are we moping? I'm confused.

[ Answers, he needs answers. So he can fix this! That is what Robert and Mecha Man both do, they fix things.

Now that the mild surprise of being pulled in again has worn off, he resumes helping Flambae dry off. It's the least they can do, get him dry and pretty again so he can put his underoos back on. ]

At least come back out of the shower. Please?

[incinerhater]

You are really going to make me spell it out for you?

[Flambae can feel one of Robert's scars beneath his stubble. Scars and freckles, huh. Fuck. It really is an unforgettable combination, and even texture-wise, pretty unique.]

Humiliation, duh!

Ugggh...

[He twists his head a little, relishing every pat of the towel, even closing his eyes for a moment.

This is so fucking nice.

He'll need to steel himself for the honesty that will come next.]

This shit hasn't happened to me since middle school, okay? It's like getting an accidental boner in gym! Only even worse because of all of the... Eh, sappy sentimental nonsense.

[He snorts.]

You did not do anything wrong.

It has just... Been some time since anyone has really cared like that.

For me. I'll... I'll come back out, I just...

Need a minute. Or...

[What number should he choose-]

Three.

[He still needs to examine the last little scratch.]

[bobbob]

[ Apparently, yes, he needs it spelled out. There are too many mixed signals going on here. But Flambae is more or less already answering before Robert can say anything of the sort.

Humiliation. Robert's hand slows a bit with the patting as he processes that. Generally that's not a good state to be in (unless you're into that), and he doesn't want Flambae to be there because of him. At least, not anymore. Sappy and sentimental, well, he has to admit he's not so great with that either. But when he does care, he cares a lot. And he tries hard, like he's doing right now.

What's surprising to him is Flambae's vulnerability about it. He just comes off as so confident and assured of himself and his place in the world. ]

You're kidding.

[ Though really, even as he says that, he can kind of see it. Flambae was a villain before. He wouldn't even stop to talk to Robert once the building was cleared and he had nowhere else to go, nothing else to burn. Even when the Z-team is getting all riled up about things, he's often quiet comparatively. There are little signs of it here and there that the dispatcher just hasn't picked up on because they weren't ... well. They weren't like this before. ]

I get it. It's ... pretty embarrassing, yeah.

[ He huffs softly, looking away for a moment as he smiles and gives Flambae one more pat before he stands and steps back to give the man some room. He tips his thumb back toward the door. ]

I'll just be in there, then.

[ So he turns to exit the room with the intention of letting Flambae ... simmer down. Or whatever he needs to do. Robert will just maybe get a little more dressed and sit on the edge of the bed and wait, with Beef happily following once he gives one last sniff in Flambae's direction. ]

[incinerhater]

[Robert turns to leave and the room feels unbearably cold, so much so that Flambae hops out of the shower, stopping mid-way when he catches himself in the act.

The burly arm that was extended in front of him drops, slowly, as he catches a reflection of himself in the mirror. He looks frazzled with his hair down and in disarray like this, and for whatever reason, all of his imperfections seem more noticeable. He shuts his mouth, spotting the gap in his teeth, then pausing to straighten his ridiculous posture. Prism has always said that when he looms forward running after a raggedy-ass man, Flambae tends to look his worst.

What saves the image he's seeing now is the towel that's been so lovingly draped around him, which he runs both hands over, upwards from the chest and over his shoulders. He only does it after a long pause, but eventually, Flambae takes the right side and gently begins dabbing at the corresponding side of his face.

This is the time of night he usually shaves, even though when he wakes up in the morning it's always back again. Flambae isn't quite as confident in his face without the five o'clock shadow. Sure, he's always had those high as all hell, chiseled cheekbones, but his face is quite long, and a little thin, if he's really giving in to the worst of his inner critic.

Still, he opens one of his drawers and pulls out a razor, and when he exits the bathroom back in those stupid Calvin Kleins, literally the worst pair available, he pounces back onto the bed next to Robert.]

You missed me.

[The words are delivered in that insufferable, sing-songy tone, and we all know how terrible of a singer he is. Also, combined with the comical up-and-down waggle of his furry brows, Flambae really just looks ridiculous.]

Sorry.

This time, I really wasn't trying to incinerate you.

At least not on purpose.

[Should he? Flambae studies Robert's face a bit, wondering if this is a good time. After thinking over it for a brief few seconds, he leans in to give Robert a loud peck on the cheek. That is the only time tonight that Flambae's face feels that smooth, and without the beard, it's even more evident just how angular it is.]

Are you sure you don't want me to get at that last one for you?

[The injury. It's the least red of the three.

He'll also snake an arm around Robert's waist, tapping the skin above the wound that isn't un-punctured with a finger.]

You can hold onto me now, if you wish.

[meaning: he's back to normal now, kind of

He reaches with his other hand to ruffle Robert's hair, only the ruffling devolves into something like... gentle petting i am almost too scared to type this]

I like that you can be such a fucking softie, sometimes.

[For once, he means this positively. It shows with the affection that's in his voice.]

It's cute.

[And from the way that Flambae darts his eyes away in this moment, clearly something he has not had all that much experience with either.]

[bobbob]

[ For the most part, Robert just sits around in Flambae's bedroom contemplating his life choices. It's taking more than a minute and he hopes that the fireball isn't really going through it in there. Beef keeps pawing at the bed, wanting up there, but he has to tell him more than once that they have to wait until they know it's okay. The sheets are white and everything you know? Even if there's like ... probably some bodily fluids on them now anyway.

When Flambae does emerge from the bathroom and hops onto the bed, Robert has to do a double take. His perpetual five o'clock shadow...it's just gone. It's possible for it to be gone? You know that meme gif of the white guy blinking? That's Robert Robertson III right now. ]

You shaved.

[ He says that in genuine surprise. Like it's a marvel and a wonder.

But the kiss on the cheek and arm around his waist takes him back down a little closer to earth. He smiles gently. Yes, gently, and he means it too. ]

I'm really fine, you know. Doesn't even hurt.

[ But it's so, so sweet that Flambae worries about it he almost can't believe it's happening. If pressed, he wouldn't argue much either way. He turns himself on the mattress to better face the man and his terrible Calvin Kleins (should he tell him they're atrocious? Maybe he shouldn't tell him).

Gentle petting is also taking me out a bit, but Robert likes it. It's soothing and warm, kind of like the rest of Flambae at the moment. Has he always just been this warm naturally and the dispatcher paid no attention? Or had they just not ever been this close very often... ]

I'm not a fucking softie.

[ He says this as he somewhat cautiously puts his own arms around the man, slumping up against him with his cheek against a bosom that has no right to be so pillowy. His expression is now more or less out of Flambae's view, but his ears sure have turned red. It's being called a softie, and being called cute. What does he do with this information!! ]

I just, um, you know. This is comfortable.

[ The bed, the body, whatever. Robert doesn't really get that many chances to cuddle. He just hopes that he isn't about to be embracing another fireball. ]

[incinerhater]

Yes, yes.

[He braces himself for what could be otherwise hilarious commentary, you know, if it hadn’t been specifically crafted to bruise his already fragile ego… Always infuriating, but re-contextualized? Maybe a little flirtatious.]

That is because if I don’t not groom myself properly, I will end up looking like Chewie, tall and covered in hair.

[pronounced in the accent like

Chee-oo-whee]

You know Chewie? From the Star Wars!

[And then he proceeds to do his best Chewbacca(sp?) impression, which is more seal bark than alien.

The truth is, Flambae has done everything possible to be close to Robert, only thus far, it’s always been to serve as an intimidation tactic. He’s flaunted his size and the heat of his flames in close proximity to Robert, even going as far as flinging his entire flaming body at the metal suit in hopes that he could somehow burn right through it.

Flambae wonders, silently, if that’s what he’s doing now. He senses Robert’s hesitation, hating himself for being so fucking sensitive. It’s so good to hold him, finally, and there’s a weird sort or eroticism that comes with holding him so closely.]

See? This is what having a bed feels like, BobBob.

[Or a boyfriend, but he doesn’t say that.]

But honestly, what’s more comfortable? The mattress, or me?

And… If you don’t like me calling you soft, then…

[Robert is short enough for Flambae to get close and press his nose into his hair.]

What else am I supposed to say to you, huh?

[He can feel Robert’s face getting warmer- Is that his own fault, or is the former hero blushing?]

[bobbob]

[ The former hero is blushing and it's Flambae's fault, how is that?

But the Chewie comment, complete with the absolutely awful impression, makes Robert burst out laughing. Of all the strange fucking things to say, and also just imagining coming to work with a wookkie in place of Flambae is too much. He laughs a good moment longer and then breathes out slowly. ]

Uh-huh. Okay.

[ He'll just take his word for it. ]

And no shit. You don't say?

[ who could have thought that this is what it's like to have a bed? Robert certainly hasn't had one in his whole entire life. But the teasing is gentle and he still seems to be quite glued to Flambae's chest and content not to move from it, which is as good a sign as any. Maybe the question of what's better is just fishing for an ego stroke or something but at this point Robert doesn't really care. He can give a win or two to Chad. ]

You are, because it's warm.

[ Might suck in the summertime, but they can get there when they get there. Imagine if they get there? That makes Robert's stomach do that dipping thing again. And the nestle against his hair is enough to get him to close his eyes. It feels so peaceful, and he doesn't think about how fucked up it is that he can't remember the last time he's felt that like this. ]

I don't know. Just don't say it at work. They'll eat me alive.

[incinerhater]

[Ah.

So he likes Star Wars.

Flambae will remember that.]

I won’t.

[Robert’s laugh sounds nothing like the angelic musical stylings of Whitney or Mariah, but even so, it’s music to his ears. He’s never really had the chance to make him laugh in private until tonight, and he wonders briefly if Robert is coddling him.

Is he really a more appealing option than the bed? Maybe he should consider conditioning his chest hair, just so it doesn’t feel as scratchy…

Flambae would be quick to chime in about the Z-team, how they will absolutely have their asses incinerated with backtalk as soon as they Realize (and Coupe is intelligent), although he decides there is something more important to say first.]

But I will not hide my feelings for you, either.

[He doesn’t move, keeping much of his face in Robert’s hair.]

I do not want to make you that guy.

I have been that guy!

[Flambae has never been in the closet himself, not technically, but some of his first partners-]

It’s fucking horrible.

[Romantic relationships are personal business, yes.

But they shouldn’t be secrets. Not the serious ones, or at least, not in the situation they’re in now.]

[bobbob]

[ Star Wars is probably something he could have bonded with his dad over but didn't because his dad was married to the job and also not the nicest guy around.

Anyway, the chest hair doesn't really bother him, but this is also a man who sleeps regularly in a plastic chair. It's more that Flambae's warmth and just the very idea of lying against him and touching him like this is comfortable and nice. A bed can be any old bed (even if it's a chair, apparently).

Robert lifts his head slightly, carefully so he doesn't bonk Flambae in the nose and cause yet another part of him to bleed. ]

You sure?

[ They both know they will get a lot of shit from the Z-Team. HR will probably get involved, though for once it's more of a positive thing and not that someone is talking about their botched circumcision or touching inappropriately or spying on Robert in the locker room.

He's not asking that because he's ashamed or wants to hide it or anything. Everyone already finds every possible thing they can to make fun of him for. It just seems important to make sure Flambae knows what they're headed into. Then again he probably knows the team a little better than Robert at this point still. ]

That's fine with me.

[ he rests his cheek back down against that obnoxiously large and comfortable chest. ]

We just, you know, work with a bunch of assholes.

[ They're his bunch of assholes, but the point stands.

Part of him is optimistic also that they'd want Robert (and Chad) to be happy too. And this makes him happy. ]

[incinerhater]

We do.

[This is said with such a reluctant air. Boy, does he fucking know it! He is just praying that Prism will have enough ammo to make... All the backtalk somewhat tolerable.]

And if we weren't the subject of their bullshitty bullshitting-

[He takes a deep breath.]

I'm sure at least some of it would be hilarious.

But, the others, they get to-

[His voice peters out on this one. He's been quick to challenge Robert or pipe up when he feels particularly slighted, but Flambae has in his own mind done his best to stay in his lane. He hangs out with Coupe and Punch sometimes, appreciating both for their skill, but them being "broken up" is total bullshit. Malevola and Sonar have a weird friends but... With some kind of bizarre benefits thing going on?! And Invisigal has been flirting with Robert constantly.]

Ugh.

It's nothing.

Forget I said anything.

[i wanted to wax more poetic about how cute robert is being and how nice it is for flambae to hold him but ig that will be the next tag]

I am talking out of my fucking miracle of an ass again.

[bobbob]

[ Robert would honestly be surprised if Prism ever ran out of ammo in any given situation. She's one to watch out for if you want some dignity left at the end of the day. It's a good thing she's on Flambae's side.

He huffs out softly at the thought of any of the banter being hilarious and ... yeah, unfortunately that's correct. ]

Probably, yeah.

[ either that or it would be so fucking stupid he would have to take his headset off for a moment and just take a breath or two before he could face any of those freaks again.

Flambae supposedly talking out of his (admittedly very nice) ass though has him curious, and he tilts his head up slightly again. ]

You can't just start to say it and change your mind.

[ He taps his fingers against Flambae's chest almost like he's impatient. Or maybe trying to coax the words right out of him. ]

Tell me.

I AM SO SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS RAMBLY DIALOGUE

[incinerhater]

[Flambae bites his thin villainous bottom lip with those gapped teeth, suddenly remembering the Bone Zone's stupid rumor and releasing it almost instantly. God, that fucking bastard is getting to him on a good day! What a loser, honestly...

He's reluctant to give away anything about his childhood that's particularly specific or horrible, seeing how hard he's fought to be himself and not the token homosexual in any given situation. Even worse, his powers, his interests, and on top of that his fucking abilities, make him feel dangerously close to being a stereotype, although he doe his best not to think about it.]

I just... I've spent a lot of time thinking too much!

[What?]

You know, about... If some guy at work is actually into me, or... Just doing that weird shit straight guys do.

[That makes more sense actually.]

Where they slap each other on the ass and then act like neither one of them jerked off to the memory of it later. Or that it'd be weird, or disgusting, or anything other than...

I don't know. Just... A Thing? That somebody else could be into?

[He can't quite find the words for it, it's a difficult subject. But especially in regards to romantic or sexual relationships, he's had to think twice before pursuing anything openly and honestly, despite having worked hard on any shame he had felt about it in his early years.

That's a part of why he puts so much effort into his own appearance. Might as well like oneself enough that it'll pull other men into the orbit, even if it isn't the ones you actually want.]

If I am flirting with a guy, for example... The majority of everybody fucking else doesn't think, or wouldn't think that it was, aah.

Something he wanted, right? Don't get me wrong! Vice versa, that is... Pretty fucked up, too.

A lot of girls used to try and get at me when I was younger, probably because I was quiet... And... Tall? Two things that women seem to apparently like in a man, and... It was pretty flattering, I'll be the first to to admit! But, when I told them they were barking up the wrong tree, they seemed pretty flabbergasted.

[He's just glad that he has the suit now. That tends to speak for itself.]

And I'm almost positive that in front of most of them, I had fanboyed pretty hard about Mariah without talking about her ass or tits.

It's a low bar, I know, but... Don't you think they should have known?

[ASLKDJAFSKDJFASKDJF]

Like, what straight man calls her Mimi? If you know any, I think we need to put them on a census. Something very strange is going on there.

IT'S ALL GOOD IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

[bobbob]

Thinking too much, say it isn't so?

[ But that's the only teasing quip he'll get out for this conversation for now. He knows it's serious, and he is taking it seriously. Sometimes it just seems that he can't help himself around Flambae.

He gets it, though. Even with the world opening up a little bit about sexualities and genders and hybrid species or aliens and everything in between, things are just always at least a little bit different for anyone who isn't just straight. Even Robert benefits from being perceived as a straight man whether the assumption's been correct or not. His brow furrows a little, since he hadn't thought much about this due to that, and he suddenly feels a bit bad for Flambae. ]

It's not weird, or disgusting. I don't think you'll have any problem with the Team.

[ Their assholery aside, they're like a weird, stupid family now. He knows Flambae knows this, but understands how nerve-wracking it must still be. He thinks the rest of SDN will also not be complete fuckheads about it, especially if they just deal with Phenomaman on a daily basis. But still, he wants to help the guy he cares about anyway that he can. ]

And if anyone tries to make us feel otherwise, I'll tell them to go fuck themselves.

[ He, hoping that he's not about to have a human fireball on his hands again, places a kiss against Flambae's chest. ]

Sternly but professionally speaking, of course.

[ Considering he beat a man on live ass television though, there is no telling how professional things could possibly stay. He's sure they won't have to worry about that though.

Flambae's teen years sound a bit insufferable actually, not that Robert didn't have his own kind of hellish time growing up. But he curses anybody who made the younger version of him feel insecure or bad or unwanted. ]

But yeah, they definitely should have known.

[ If the flaming super has never been in the closet, the rest of them were just in denial in the presence of a tall and cool young man. That's a them problem. Also, as a not-quite-straight-but-acts-pretty-straight kinda guy, Robert will never, ever refer to Mariah Carey as "Mimi". Ever. ]

[incinerhater]

I know-

[Is this about the team, or the thinking-]

They are very good about things like that.

[It's why the Z-team, for all their flaws, really does feel like family. The lot of them are bad at speaking directly about their feelings, so instead they communicate by fighting each other hand to hand or word to word, and using thinly-veiled defensive mechanisms to keep whatever's left of their hearts safe.

The kiss to the chest makes him curl up, in on himself but also onto Robert. He hates that he feels so giddy about it, but maybe it's time to let things be. For whatever reason, he and Robert have not had a chance to experience this. Stepping down from both violence and blustering bullshit has been terrifying, but...

Robert's kindness is going a long way. This is certainly a humbling experience. He's also scared that after tomorrow, he won't feel comfortable speaking, or that maybe Robert will come to his sense and realize that this isn't something he wants, so...

Flambae does his best to get things all in the open now.]

I am not like the others. Well, I am, we are... We have all been arrested, obviously!

But they have never met any of my boyfriends, or... Anyone I was ever serious about.

[Prism has, but he isn't talking about her. Also, her critiques of his exes and past situationships have been wildly accurate, to the point that it's embarrassing at this rate.

He's so caught up with thinking about that, he doesn't seem to understand the gravity of his own words, even though they're sincere.]

It will be a shitshow.

Let's just hope we both survive it.

[And that is enough emotional nudity for now-]

What do you want for breakfast tomorrow? You seem like a pancake or waffles sort of guy.

[bobbob]

[ Robert decides it's about both. ]

Surprisingly? Yeah, they are.

[ he loves each and everyone one of those stupid idiots. not as much as he loves Flambae but.

Suddenly Robert's life is full of people he loves and not just people he feels obligated to save.

With Flambae curling around him a bit more, he shifts himself to get more comfortable. They should definitely, certainly be sleeping by this point if they have any hope of being functional at work in a few hours. But also, most of that hope has been lost with the fact that the Z-Team's dispatcher is a fully fledged twitterpated shmuck who's just scored himself his first boyfriend in ever or at least a very, very long time. Yes he's in his 30s but it's going to be hard not to be giddy and weird all day long.

Chase will definitely make a comment.

(But even he will inevitably be happy for Robert)

His mouth quirks up in a little bit of a smile, like he's got a secret but the secret is just that he's really content, even a bit excited, at the moment despite all the embarrassing and vulnerable emotions being flung out onto the table. ]

We will.

[ He's survived worse, obviously. They both have. After all, Flambae has both lost some fingers and been thrown in jail. Robert's nearly died more than a few times and everyone at work is constantly attempting to embarrass him as it is. In fact, he should have a trophy for how good he is at deflecting them. ]

And anything but donuts. [ seriously, can we lay off the donuts for a week. ] I don't think I've had pancakes for years.

i need to review the game canon ALKDJFA but would he have seen-

[incinerhater]

[The thing is, there's love of all kinds.

The members of the Z-team all have their perks. Punch-Up and Coupe are reliable teammates, both seasoned combatants with their own respective upsides. Punch-Up is friendly and reliable, while Coupe's efficiency and penchant for silence is something that Flambae appreciates, as someone who has the tendency to be quiet and unapproachable in his default state. Malevola is cool as hell even if she is weirdly familiar, and Sonar, while extremely irritating at first, has an endearing tendency to shoot the shit and express an interest in actually spending time with the rest of them outside of work, which feels especially nice after having felt like an outcast. Waterboy is pathetic, sure, but in a cute way, especially now that he has learned the law of the land and has stopped wasting perfectly good food. Flambae is also oddly invested in seeing if the kid finally decides to lose his virginity any time soon. Golem is fucking hilarious, he's easily Flambae's second favorite Z-teamer, and Invisigal is working on herself despite being severely antisocial initially, which Flambae has a good deal of respect for. Prism is hysterically funny, unabashedly herself, and unafraid to speak her mind on top of being an incredible artist and versatile team member. The fact that she can be such a bitch to all of them and yet can turn on the charm like no other is... Inspiring, honestly. Then again, the girl is magnetic when she wants to be, and if you just so happen to be her hot-tempered bestie, she'll go to bat for you even when you don't deserve it.

Which is often, he knows.

That's the relationship he's most worried about if this gets serious- Her vibe and Robert's are so... Fucking dissimilar. She'd absolutely hate his taste in media, he's certain. And clothing, but... Can you hate someone's taste in clothes when. It's so clear they don't even think about them, anyway-]

Oh!

Is the memory of that old man's ass burned into your brain as well? Granny? More like Fried Fanny, am I right? Jesus. It must have smelled terrible in there.

[He has to laugh, shifting his own body in a way that keeps poor Robert from shuffling too much. Gingerly, he pulls a nearly translucent set of covers over half of Robert's body, since Flambae provides most of the heat himself, then taking a moment to really touch him.

The five-fingered hand moves up and down through Robert's hair, ruffling over the back of his neck and then curling deep into the strands right at the top of his head, digging his fingers in with a pressure that's meant to be like a comforting massage. The gesture is intentionally bawdy and wordlessly intimate, meant to ease Robert into slumber but give him something to remember later, especially when Flambae's hand moves from Robert's hair to his shoulders, fingers splaying over the scars and freckles before they finally flatten out over his back.

He leans in to kiss what he can reach of Robert's forehead, wondering if any of the affection he can provide will be enough to compensate for whatever vibrance the city has wrung from him, if there was ever any vibrance there to begin with. Not having had pancakes in years despite liking them is a huge red flag, as they're a common diner breakfast staple and often an easy breakfast to make for someone you just fucked the night before. They're simple, hard to fuck up if you top them for with the right amount of butter and syrup, which means that Robert has likely had very little sleepover sex if any in his days as MechaMan, and come to think of it, the guy probably neglects breakfast altogether.

He probably downs an ungodly amount of black coffees and then suddenly finds himself in front of the vending machine, ordering an extra packet of twinkies for lunch. At 3 PM probably, god, it's depressing just thinking about it.]

Pancakes it is.

[He smiles to himself. The people he loves the most all seem to share the same breakfast food- Prism, his niece, and now Robert.

Reluctantly, Flambae turns his attention towards Beef, who has been waiting patiently at the foot of the bed. Also... Possibly intrigued by whatever Flambae is doing to Robert, because... Usually Robert is the one doing that to him. Can dogs see that clearly?

Flambae should ask Robert if the portly puppy usually sleeps with him, and he will, but he has to squeeze in one last potshot before the night is over. Pulling Robert even closer to his chest, he waggles his brows at poor Beefy.]

Hey, here's a question you have never heard before...

[Each word is dripping with the kind of indulgent, self-satisfactory smugness of one of Sonar's former classmates when closing a business deal. Flambae thinks he is so funny...]

Can I keep him?

granny? YEAH....

[bobbob]

[ Robert isn't particularly worried about any one member of the Z-Team over the others. Perhaps he and Prism have a very different vibe but they've still come a ways from her refusing to speak to him directly and him calling her off-brand popstar names. Visi might actually be the most difficult, simply because she's got weird feelings about Robert one way or the other.

It definitely isn't fair to hate on Robert's choice of wardrobe when he barely has a wardrobe to begin with. ]

Yeah. It seems like donuts have been showing up a lot more recently after all that.

[ And it feels like it should be the opposite?? There's also the fact that Waterboy gave him a bunch of soggy ones, and Invisigal smashed one on his keyboard.

At least Robert didn't have to smell Granny's cooked ass.

It's almost strange to be sort of 'tucked in' the way he is right now, but he doesn't protest. It's comfortable and nice, Flambae's fingers (all five of them this time) seem to know what they're doing, and Robert probably could just drift off to sleep like this. The kiss to his forehead makes him feel light and silly things again. But then —

Beef!

He can't forget about Beef. And Beef hasn't forgotten about them. In fact, in response to that smug declaration of intention from the firestarter, the pup gives a determined 'boof' and starts pawing furiously at the side of the bed as though this is going to help him accomplish the task of hopping up there with his rotund, stubby body.

Robert laughs a little and twists back some from his former position of clinging to Flambae's body. ]

Aw, buddy. Don't listen to him. We're a package deal.

[ If you can't deal with the Beef, you can't deal with the Robert.

Of course if Flambae really doesn't want him in the bed he'll respect that. As long as they can lay a towel or something on the floor! Beef always gets to be comfortable. ]

Can he come up here?

[incinerhater]

[Flambae watches Beef paw pathetically at the covers he can reach, wondering if he is agile enough to jump that high. He sighs, gently pressing his hand to Robert’s back to signify that he will be moving a little, and then reaching those long gangly arms to pick Beef up under the armpits and plop him down near the pillow. Curious, he keeps an eye on the dog for a moment, kind of intrigued to see where he settles. Does he seek softness (the bed), companionship (the people), or both?

Oh, he’s so going to regret this, but the fact that he’ll be washing the sheets pretty soon anyways means that Beef should be able to sleep comfortably too.]

I think he is heavier than you.

Does the two of you usually sleep together?

[This is another odd thought, but in context, it makes sense how much Robert cares for Beef.

It’s starting to sound like he’s the only source of tenderness the man has had over the past few years. And by the looks of it, he isn’t even that old.]

Where did you find him, anyway?