bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

[ OF COURSE HE'S SCARED, DOES FLAMBAE REALIZE WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE- ]

What.

[ Now that he's safe from falling off the bed, Robert gives Flambae the flattest look he can muster in the dark. ]

Were you just watching me in my sleep? And whispering? I swear I heard whispering.

[ If nothing else, this is telling him that Flambae is probably feeling better, so there is that. What time is it even though? Probably doesn't super matter... ]

Look, Robbo-

[What a fucking greasy pony-tailed rat-]

I just had to see if you plugged yourself in while you were sleeping.

[If Robert didn't hear the exact words...]

But I guess...

That is only true for the suit, not you.

[WHAT A FUCKING BULLSHIT ANSWER-]

Edited 2026-02-13 04:02 (UTC)

[ Mr. Wet Ponytail... ]

... I can't tell if you're joking right now.

[ He's joking, right? The accent doesn't help.

Rolling his eyes a little, Robert gives Flambae's shoulder a half-hearted shove. ]

Fine, don't admit you were watching me sleep in the dark like a creeper. You're feeling better now though?

Look, I just wanted to make sure you were breathing!

[....]

You've been through a lot! I don't want to wake up one morning to find out you just kicked the bucket, okay... Come on.

[He lets himself be shoved, although he'll reach back again to... Fluff Robert's hair or whatever.]

Yeah, I... It doesn't hurt to fucking breathe anymore, and my back isn't aching like crazy...

[Sheepishly, finally:]

Did I spook you for real?

Fuck.

[ now he really can't tell if Flambae is being serious. Was he actually worried about something like that or is he deflecting from the fact that he's a freak... ]

Okay. Well. I'm still alive.

[ Obviously. But the hand in his hair is endearing and soft enough to kind of deter him from trying to get real answers from Flambae. And he really is glad to hear it from that tooth-missing mouth of his that he's doing fine. ]

I'm glad.

[ Giving a small huff, he gives Flambae a little push again. This time though, he comes along with it, essentially wanting to lie on top or at least partially on top of him. ]

I was worried about you, if that's what you mean. But whispering at me in the dark isn't enough to scare me away.

[Flambae moves to widen his shoulders a bit so that Robert has more room. Without saying anything first, he'll place a gentle hand on the dispatcher's back. In a way, he's testing the waters too, trying to see what Robert will and won't ignore.]

There's no need to worry, BobBob.

[From the unhinged confidence in his voice, even though he's trying to be quiet, it's clear that he's definitely feeling a lot like himself.]

I am just like the Energizer Bunny. Only my hair is not pink, and I am not banging a fucking drum around everywhere.

[As stupid of an excuse as that was, he does worry about Robert often. The man has sustained a fuckload of stress, and he doesn't seem to look after himself as much as he might need to.]

He is always rocking some pretty cool shades, though.

[hello]

[ It seems Robert is pleased with that, since there's a trace of a smile on his lips and it's not just for being told he doesn't have to worry (he worried anyway, so that's moot). It just genuinely is a relief to hear that Flambae is back to his stupid self, but Robert doesn't feel like telling him that again.

Genuinely though, what does he see in this man who is just rambling on about the Energizer Bunny of all things?

Unfortunately, Robert is very into it. He's slowly accepting this about himself. ]

I think you're more attractive than a pink rabbit with a drum.

[ He quirks his brow at Flambae in a challenge. Maybe he can't see that well in the dark, but he knows that the superpowered guy can. ]

But sure, we can keep talking about him if you'd like.

[Flambae's chin buckles at the genuine compliment.]

I should hope so.

Otherwise you would have fucked Sonar, no?

[He snorts, as it's a joke.]

Do you usually sleep well?

[Maybe he shouldn't be asking this, especially if they have work tomorrow... But he's so curious. Should he be looking into brewing some camomile teas for his new man, because he will?]

I think... And it's not just me, it's the rest of the team too, but maybe... Mostly me...

[Because he is obsessed with you, Robert.]

That you do not really...

Uh, look after yourself? In a way that isn't very fucking concerning, I mean.

Edited 2026-02-13 05:49 (UTC)

[ Not the direction he thought this would take. Robert's mouth pops open briefly before he shakes his head. ]

Would not fuck Sonar.

[ No offense to him, but Robert does like to kiss and he doesn't want to kiss...that.

Anyway, he deflates a little against Flambae, turning his head so his cheek can rest flat against his chest. He isn't sure he wants to get into this in the middle of the night, but if he was alone in his apartment at this exact time, what would he be doing? Either obsessively searching for Shroud (before that all ended of course), drinking, or sleeping in his plastic chair. ]

No, I don't.

[ He begins, sounding a little cautious. It's easy to want to fuss over someone else, to make sure they're alright and healthy and taken care of, but when it's turned on you it's kinda different. ]

Last night was the best sleep I've gotten in a while.

[ Which is a genuine statement, not him trying to butter Flambae up to distract him. Robert keeps his head resting against the man as he talks, like he's content to be there. ]

I don't know. I still shower and go to the gym and brush my teeth? But maybe the rest kind of ... wasn't that important for a while.

[ They've already talked about it a bit, how Robert was just kind of expecting to die in the suit sooner or later. ]

I'm fine though. I'm good now...

Edited 2026-02-13 19:33 (UTC)

[He believes it! Flambae has unfortunately acquired a bizarre fondness for the flying freak, as he has for all of his misfit teammates, but Sonar doesn't quite seem like Robert's type.

Then again, he's often surprised that he is someone Robert would even entertain the idea of dinner with, let alone whatever the hell they're doing right now.

Maybe that's a part of it. Rolling with the punches, ready to take on the unexpected- That much they do have in common.]

Mhm.

[Flambae doesn't boast, and he doesn't let that comment boost his overblown ego. He suspects that Robert may experience night terrors or simply have trouble sleeping, he's cool and collected in front of his peers, but there's probably a hoard of unpleasant thoughts brimming between the injured ear and the normal one. If there's that many scars on his body, it's likely that whatever goes on inside of his head is a lot worse.

He glides a hand slowly over the back of Robert's head, rubbing at the hair and skin up and down in a soothing gesture.

Most of the Z-team isn't great at getting consistent rest.

Golem often needs to take THC gummies to fall asleep, Prism doom scrolls and will pester Flambae if he's awake, which he usually is, and Malevola prefers being awake at night. Sonar's stimulant fueled bursts of productivity can sometimes mean he's awake for 48 hours straight, and Coupe and Punch-Up aren't really the type of people to sleep consistently either, for reasons probably similar to Robert. As for Invisigal, Flambae doesn't know her all that well, but he suspects that her sleep probably worsens when she's feeling badly about herself.

It's either that or she sleeps too much.]

Did you eat before-

[He stops himself before saying, "Coming back to me," because, wow! ~~in the flambae voice:~~ Crazy.]

Eh, crawling back in here?

[ Honestly, Robert is surprised about all this too. Blazer or even Visi (for as bad as she is for him) seem more like his type. But somehow Flambae just coasted right past them like it wasn't even a challenge. It's had the Dispatcher thinking very deeply about things from time to time, ever since he realized. But he doesn't really have any regrets, even when Flambae says the most outrageous shit in the world.

That hand rubbing at his hair and neck is soothing on its own, but Flambae's natural warmth makes it ever moreso. Robert even closes his eyes. It could put him back to sleep and here he had some devious plan to seduce the firestarter in the middle of the night instead.

He really hasn't had a chance to sleep well in the past ... well. Decade, at least. ]

Mm, no. I was waiting for you.

[ Not for any self-neglect or anything like that. He fully intends to eat his portion. But they were going to eat take-out together, and it's too lonely to dig in by yourself in your boyfriend's house while he's not feeling well in the other room. ]

What?

[Oh. There's a rare, genuine hint of concern in his voice. It's the kind of soft, unsavory thing he would usually hide from others, but it feels necessary here.]

Robert!

You should have eaten something.

[Flambae closes his eyes, sighing.

A part of him doesn't want to disturb the other man by having him get up. Why did he think the idiot would've had a bite while he was sleeping?! God, it's just like Robert and his stupid self sacrificing ass to wait for his nearly unconscious boyfriend to wake up and have dinner with him... But Flambae wasn't thinking straight, and then again, he never is, is he-]

Are you still hungry?

[He doesn't use this voice all that often. The accent is still present as always, but it's not the way he speaks to people who aren't... Well, significant.]

For anything other than ass.

[ Honestly, the concern that's clear in Flambae is really touching. But Robert groans anyway. He doesn't want to move from his warm heating pad either but he can tell that the nitpicky man is not going to let this go. ]

You need it more than I do.

[ If they need to do a care-off competition, he will. But he does reluctantly roll off of Flambae in preparation of getting out of bed. ]

I could eat something, and you definitely should.

[ He doesn't care how the healing factor works, Flambae hasn't eaten all that much today either. And yes, it is really ironic that Robert would insist on this behavior but he doesn't really care right now, as he leans forward and fishes around for his shirt. Granted, he's not sure if Flambae will wear the g-string to "dinner", so it's not like he really needs to fully get dressed. ]

And that sounds like a weird way to imply you want me to eat your ass.

[Again, Flambae laughs a little irreverently. The sound is as sweet as anything anyone could get from him, save for his niece, maybe.

He doesn't tell Robert that his healing factor, when it does kick in, when the wounds are all closed up and the exhaustion is gone, has a few other setbacks. For one, it's like having three espresso shots kick in in the dead of night, so he won't be sleeping easily either.]

Okay, fine! Fuck.

I'll eat if you do.

But why do I feel like you're the kind of guy who chooses sleep over food most days, huh? Mmm.

[At the mention of that, Flambae digs his fingers in Robert's hair again, those bright eyes curious. Like he's finally in careful contemplation, actually weighing his options and not wanting to say the wrong thing.

He's a bit too casual about a few things that men who have yet to experiment with other men may not be, not so much. It's selfish to hope that maybe he's the first guy that Robert has acted on any feelings for, but he'll go with that narrative anyway, since it makes him feel better, more special, more unique.

After a few seconds of intense eye contact, that is, if Robert is even willing to look back at him, he decides to answer honestly-]

Would you?

I was considering doing that for you, but... It freaks, ah...

I know you're not straight, but I guess, normie? Normie guys out?

[Flambae then blows a raspberry a little half-heartedly.]

Then again you're not really a normal guy either.

You're a fucking freak.

[lakdjflks]

[ They should probably hang out when they don't have work the next day. Then again, this wasn't really planned. And also, they work together so the chances of them going home together after is pretty high. Oh no, he's really got it bad doesn't he... ]

Good.

[ It's settled then. They'll eat. But he pauses in the middle of his shirt search to let Flambae put his fingers through his hair. He gives him a dry look at first. ] I sleep in a chair, remember? I'd definitely choose food first.

[ That being said, he allows the sudden, intense eye contact, wondering briefly if he's said something weird or if Flambae is about to say something weird. If it's the latter, that's not much to worry about, but with how deep this eye contact is going, it seems like it would be a doozy.

And it kind of is, but he can also kind of tell that it's a serious question. Flambae can fantasize or theorize whatever he wants really and Robert doesn't mind. But he is, either way, not nearly as experienced in the art of ... men. Despite what he says about blowing people. ]

I've never really done that before ...

[ He may have with a woman, we simply do not know. But, he crooks a smile, deciding not to correct any of this "straight/normie"whatever talk. Instead, he just shrugs. ]

I am kind of a freak though.

[ which ... means ... he's not opposed to it.

hELP ]

Yes, but that's not-

[The same level of comfort.

He doesn't like being wrong, but he'll try and remember it, mostly because it means that Robert and Beef are more alike than they appear. Like father, like canine son, apparently.

Robert moves to get dressed, and so it's Flambae who sits reluctantly while being swallowed by blankets, trying to stop himself from blurting out the first few things that come to mind, as he typically does, in part because they are so embarrassing.

Chad never really had the chance to experience his firsts with men his own age. He had a dangerous tendency in his youth to chase the kind of men who were strong enough to pin him down, older and larger, and not reliable sources of affection by any means. The intimacy was often violent, in a way that Flambae could bounce back from and enjoyed the risky nature of, but none of it could be considered healthy or viable. He was still in limbo at the time, deciding if he really wanted to stick it out on Earth for all that long, and in some ways he finds himself still reeling from it.

Like right now. God, he really is toxic, as Prism would say.]

Yo, hey! One step at a time, Robert, Jesus Christ!

I should probably do that for you first.

Do you even know how it feels?

[Ugh... He rubs the back of his own head with one hand, not bothering to put on anymore clothes. Robert has seen him naked, there's no point!]

Actually, don't answer that. Because if I have to think about somebody else doing that for you, I'm going to burn down this whole apartment.

Fucking forget it.

[It's nice that Robert is so adventurous. A lot of men cling so wholly to their masculinity... Flambae is literally a flaming homosexual and yet even he doesn't manage to clock himself doing it all the time.]

[ Truth be told, Robert sucks at both feeding himself and sleeping, really. So it's not like Flambae was wrong either. At least he stuffs his face with something though whereas he puts no effort into bettering his sleep situation. Honestly, Robert.

He pauses again to glance back at the large man wrapped up in his blankets and just. gives up on putting on his shirt again. Flambae should know though, that the more naked they are, the more likely dinner is going to get interrupted. He's been wanting to jump him since earlier this evening, after all. And also during work a couple times, before he got injured and flew off.

But now he needs to defend his honor a bit, so he scoffs. ]

Dude. You're the one who just asked me if I would. I was just answering.

[ He's not the one that needs to take a chill pill on it!

He half lays down again, just because he stretching back to reach for Flambae and his blankets, tugging at them. Either he is going to drag him out of this bed or he really is just going to jump his bones in a minute here.

It's so frustratingly endearing how he gets jealous over these fantasy scenarios about Robert and other men. ]

Just accept that I want to do the sex things with you. Okay?

[ Why'd he say it like that???? ]

Time to eat.

[Flambae flashes that small, catty smile again.

He will let himself be dragged, thank you. If Robert is tugging at his wrist, he will, very stupidly, just let their fingers intertwine. Leave him alone, he's fantasized so much about getting to punch Robert, he forgot they could hold hands like normal people in the first place.]

Do the sex?

[He repeats it in a manner that's as mocking as he can muster, only it sounds more affectionate than it ever did at the office.

Before, anyway. When he wasn't getting his ass kicked, he was being pretty flirtatious, much to the chagrin of their poor coworkers.]

I feel like you just transported me back to a web forum from 2009.

[Flambae allows himself to be guided to the table, not particularly concerned in the moment how this will impact him tomorrow. He'd rather Robert essentially move in, it's a lot less lonely in here with someone to wake up next to. He may broadcast himself as a thrill-seeker who loves danger, but judging by Flambae's array of fairly domestic, even homebody adjacent hobbies, he's just happy to have someone he can spend most of his time with (romantically).

Prism is such a fun friend to have, one he cherishes dearly- He'll have to hang out with her soon. She's giving him a surprising amount of space, probably because she's observed his not-so-secret Robert obsession for some time now.

He waits for Robert to sit down first, although he doesn't say anything because... That's just how he is.]

I am getting the feeling that you want a little bit more than just sex from me.

[look at him just standing there, a hairy (beautiful) giant in a g-string shane from heated rivalry and him would have so much to not talk but stand in silence about ok]

What's all this talk about being boyfriends, Robert?

[Again, he doesn't sound combative. His tone is light, teasing.

Gentle, even.]

[ Robert grins, even as their fingers slide together in such a tender gesture. ]

You're welcome.

[ Clearly he's not even sorry about the cringe way he said it. Like at all. But he does mean it! Flambae is always trying to shoot him down or tell him he doesn't understand things when it comes to intimacy, but that doesn't mean Robert isn't interested or doesn't want to learn. It's part of learning about Flambae in general, seeing what he likes in bed, seeing what really gets him going. Maybe even tasting every inch of his much too large, hairy body.

I'm sorry, that was kind of gross.

He tugs Flambae into the kitchen and is actually kind of waiting for him to sit down first. Because someone has to heat the Chinese food up and he figured that was going to be him. So actually they're both just standing in the kitchen now. Especially since he gets distracted by the gentle teasing. ]

Is that ... not what we are? At least, trying it out.

[ For just the briefest, most subtle of moments, his expression changes to one of despair. Like he's been left outside in the cold by everyone who was supposed to love him. Like he's woken up in a hospital bed alone again.

But of course it's only brief. You'd have to be a wizard to truly catch it. ]

I do want more than sex from you. I just want that too.

[Flambae steps closer, closing the gap between them. The food can wait, although he'll take the hint to heat it up in a second. He rubs at one of the sides of Robert's neck, flat, warm palms and all.]

Why not? It's not like either of us are getting any younger.

Even though, well. With my incredible skincare routine? We may be on the verge of a scientific breakthrough.

[He'll have to be careful.

Seeing Robert sad, even for a split second, has a visceral impact on him.

He doesn't like what it ignites, or that the strength of it feels almost unpredictable.

For now, he leans in to give Robert a soft peck on the lips. The next few words are whispered close against his:]

There's no use in delaying the inevitable.

If you don't have any qualms about it, I sure as hell don't.

[He's reluctant to leave Robert and begin heating up the food, but there he goes! Flambae removes some of the takeout containers from the fridge and pulls out a few plates, then gesturing for Robert to come over with the three-fingered hand.]

Get over here and tell me how much you want, asshole.

Edited 2026-02-14 03:48 (UTC)

[ In case this takes a tragic turn and he's being rejected or something, Robert tries not to lean against Flambae's hand and warmth too much. ]

Gee, thanks.

[ But he smiles, and he's happy about it. It's definitely not a rejection, just like he hadn't been brushed aside when he'd said "boyfriend" earlier today. So it's fine. It's good. They can work with this.

He sneaks one quick peck in return and answers as Flambae turns to pull the takeout out of the fridge. ]

I don't have any qualms about it.

[ He's the one that keeps telling Flambae to talk to him and let him worry about him and let him talk about wanting to do the sex things with him. All of this, even the stupid grindr stuff, took a lot of courage and a lot of back and forth thinking for Robert. So he's not going about it lightly. This isn't the same as being molested in the locker room by Invisigal or having his crotch grabbed by Malevola. Not even a little bit.

But, feeling happy, he walks over beside his crazy firestarting boyfriend again and shrugs as he looks over the containers. ]

Just enough so you won't complain that it's too little. [ ha ]

I feel like eating Chinese food in the middle of the night is asking for a rough morning.

[no no that joke was too cute and too accurate do not self-immolate (again)]

[He has to smile at that. Robert is right on the money with that, and it's a mortifying thing to realize that sometimes, he actually likes when the man inside the mech is right about things.

The portions he doles out aren't too extreme, as its the middle of the night and they might actually get up to a few things later. There's a pretty strong chance they are both going to be suffering tomorrow, but at least they'll be suffering together.

That and all this hubbub during the workweek means that Robert will be so exhausted over the weekend, he'll just have to sleep over. This is probably the least evil of evil schemes Flambae has ever cooked up, although to be fair, most of his are more reckless and dumb than actively villainous.

He sets Robert's plate down alongside some washed silverware and pulls out his chair for him.]

It is.

But it's that or a hunger-related headache, so~! Pick your fucking poison, bro.

I've got some antacids in the medicine cabinet somewhere.

If you end up needing them, just let me know!

[he will tease him tho he will]

Edited 2026-02-14 04:04 (UTC)

[ Will get up to some things, if Robert's horny ass has its way. But anyway. First he wanted Flambae to feel better and heal, and now he wants him to be well-fed first. It really is amazing how fast things can switch on when you suddenly really start caring about another person. Or even yourself. He thinks he really could try and make more of an effort if that's what Chad wants- or to let the effort be made for taking care of him.

It'll be weird. Maybe even uncomfortable at times. But worth it?

This evil scheme of Flambae's is actually very nefarious though. Robert would be a bit impressed if he figured it out.

For now, he just smiles at the wildly chivalrous gesture of having his seat pulled out for him, and sits down. ]

You say that like my head isn't always hurting.

[ That's a really sad thing to say. But you know. Gallows humor, sardonic commentary, it's how Robert copes.

He absolutely does not want to be made fun of for having the chinese shits though... ]

Uh-huh. I'll let you know. Now sit down and eat.

[Flambae winces, unable to stop his slender nose from curling in distress when he hears that. Great! Now he'll continuously be thinking about that, and even feeling some residual guilt for having undoubtedly made that worse when he hit Robert at his silly little welcome party in that pathetic excuse for an apartment.

He shouldn't be so affectionate. It's the game he usually plays, not if he doesn't want to lose, and yet he can't help himself. Robert's touch starved nature is a part of what makes him so irresistible to his former nemesis, and he seems to crave the intimacy just as much as Flambae silently wants to dole it out.

The hairy giant leans over to give the freckled not-Hobbit a kiss on the temple before sitting down.]

The best cure for headaches is actual head, Robert.

[Whatever food Flambae's served for himself, he barely registers.

Just because he knows the other man is watching, he pokes his fork into a few bell peppers and pops them into his mouth.]

All that discipline you've put yourself through is sounding like it's done more harm than good, for you at least.

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