an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
THIS IS THE END, BABY! | UNKNOWN SEAS | CW: VIOLENCE, TORTURE
He will not think on this place too much, especially since the person he cared for most has decided to try his hand at alien hunting, but...
It will be in the rare, still moments of quiet, when the galactic void that is his shared consciousness purges the "excess..." That Dandy will struggle to remember the name and face of the specter that jabbed a sword into his chest multiple times. Unfortunately, the bits and pieces of the torture will not be fresh, but they will be scattered about all up in that foggy head, popping into his psychological purview when it's least convenient.]
Bye, bye, unsexy torture-boat!
[Was it a boat, exactly... Man, even that detail isn't quite right.
At present, Dandy is currently flipping off what appears to be the entire ocean.]
The next time I die, I want it to be with a ballgag in my mouth and a booty in my beautiful face. With some fireworks and some groovy tunes playin' in the background, for good measure!
That's right! I'm gonna go out with a bang after bangin' somebody.
Now that sounds like the Dandy way to get diggity-dogged out.
[Dandy turns his attention to focus on his more social and less solitary (surprisingly) other half.]
Oh, hey babe! You ready to go?
[His eyes flit to the furry creature that appears to be accompanying the other man. Oof, that's another mouth to feed... Hopefully it's got a diet that's easy to find and fairly inexpensive.]
What the hell is that thing?
It kinda looks like Salad Kitty.
[He means Leafeon.]
Only, y'know! Covered in pubes.
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Speaking of "home"...the moment he steps off this beach, Hagakure's going to have a new one with his first and forever love. It's something that he's been daydreaming about for weeks, and now that the party is dying down and people are leaving, finally- finally the moment has arrived.
...so why does he look so reluctant?
He's clutching onto his new fluffy companion as he approaches, absently stroking the Eevee's soft fur. It's soothing, especially since Eevee also seems to be enjoying it.]
Oh, this is Eevee. He can evolve into Leafeon, actually- or a bunch of others. Eevees are pretty versatile like that.
[He's speaking flatly, and not at all like himself. He doesn't even have anything to say about Dandy's mean little jab at Eevee's appearance.
Something's definitely wrong.]
Ada-my man gave him to me as a gift. I hope it's cool to bring him on board.
bathroom shenans im so sorry
Dandy, in a way, had anticipated this. Hagakure is from a time where contact with the stars was simply the thing of science fiction and television programs earning top dollars. Missions to space were cold and mysterious, and most of the humans that made the jump or at least tried to never quite made it back home.]
Hey, as long as it doesn't eat diamonds for breakfast? We're good.
If it burps or poops 'em out though? Score! We'll be rollin' in moolah.
[The alien hunter reaches out, tenderly caressing Hagakure's shoulder.]
Maybe this thing counts as a rare alien in my dimension. Let's take it to registration center and find out! Also? Meow is so gonna hate this adorable bitch and/or bastrd, which is why it's definitely comin' with.
Speakin' of which, what about you?
Are ya havin' second thoughts? C'mon, Captain Obvious! Spill, spill.
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There's visible relief on his face when he gets Dandy's approval for their new furry friend. Eevee, who seems to understand the conversation, makes a cute little happy noise in response, reaching his paws out toward Dandy.]
Heh. Thanks, Dee. I'm okay with that as long as they're not gonna do anything weird with him...
[--ah.
He'd really hoped that he could avoid this. But he supposes he was making himself far too obvious about it.]
No! [It's a little more desperate than he'd have liked to have come across.] N-No, it's not that. Seriously, I want nothing more than to go with you.
I just...
[There's that telltale trembling in his shoulders again. He's been trying to keep himself together all night and it was working out pretty well. But it's the end of the party- the end of their time here. The door to their future is just ahead. He can't run from his biggest fear anymore, and he couldn't be more terrified.]
I just...
[Just like that, he crumbles.
He finds himself repeating words, unable to continue his train of thought. Before he knows it, he's slinking down to his knees to make himself as small as possible. His face buries deeply into poor, confused Eevee's fur.]
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This will have to be a tempered, gentle conversation.]
They're not gonna, don't worry.
[He'd go into detail about how it's just a routine body scan, but he gets the feeling that this breakdown is about something else.
Dandy, unlike Hagakure, has been through so many failed relationships he simply can't remember them all. He knows what it's like for love to grow cold or ugly, and wonders if that is what this is really about.]
What's the matter, baby?
Don't make me jealous. If you're gonna collapse into somethin'...
Do it in Dandy's arms.
[He nudges at Hagakure's shoulder with an elbow, although the rubbing... Lingers.]
I toldja already.
I just wanna see you happy. If in the end, it ain't with me? That's okay.
I'll getcha where you need to go.
[The younger man doesn't even know the lengths that Dandy would go for the people he's loved, even those who wronged him.
And left him with permanent scars.]
Now what's the matter?
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It’s not that at all!
[He feels so stupid to be wailing pathetically in front of Dandy, but he simply can’t help it. It’s weeks of built up dread crashing down on him.]
I— I wanna be with you so bad and I never want you to think otherwise! I’m just— I’m scared!
[He actually will turn to collapse into Dandy’s arms like he offered.
Truly, this has nothing to do with getting cold feet about living in space or falling out of love. It’s about a deep-seated fear that he hasn’t been able to keep out of the dark corners of his mind despite his best efforts.]
What if someone tries to drag us into another friggin’ killing game the moment we try to leave?! What— What if we get separated?!
[”What if this ends up like Ci and her lover?”
What if.
He wraps his arms around Dandy like he’s holding on for dear life.]
I don’t wanna lose you! Not after all this!
nsfw
Truth be told, Hagakure has nothing to worry about. He can cry all he wants. From Dandy's perspective, the Dandy guy in space has already committed the most humiliating atrocities within the duo, such as blurting out, "I need you," right before going to sleep, or even worse...
Letting a younger, less experienced lover come inside of him after thoroughly offering up his body in a manner that seems... Almost disgraceful, even for someone like Space Dandy.
Mostly, he wanted to do something, anything, to convince Hagakure to stay.
But he didn't, in the end. Hopefully, they both know better now.
Hopefully.]
That's the thing about love.
It's always a risk. You can't have the good times without the bad.
[Dandy's voice is hushed, sober.
Lacking pretense.]
If we get split up while warpin', I'll come find you.
As for this murder monkey-business... I've never heard of this shit, and I've been so many places. It's not likely.
You were just really, really unlucky.
I guess we all were.
[Dandy winces. That really sucked to say.]
But we will hurt each other.
I think we already have.
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His cries die down as he lies there, trembling against his love and thinking hard about what was said. It brings him right back to his moment of paralysis during the final trial at Hope's Peak Academy. Junko Enoshima, standing right beside him, gloating over how perfect they all looked as they were forced with a choice no one, let alone basically kids, should have to make. He was so full of hope when Naegi came to his rescue. He never thought he would get beaten back down this far by everything he's heard and experienced in New Rapture.
Dandy's reassurance goes a long way, though. He's right: there's no getting around the fact that this is just as much of a risk as the one he took back then, and that there is no happiness without sadness. He's going to have to embrace the possibility of bad things happening or he's going to get nowhere.]
...
[The desperation in his grip dissipates, but he doesn't pull back. He stays there, listening to Dandy's heartbeat against his ear.
He takes in the spiritual warmth emanating from Dandy that was almost like a blinding light when they first reached this beach.]
Yeah. You're right. [He finally whispers back. Yeah, they certainly have hurt each other, unintentionally or otherwise. All the saccharine daydreaming in the universe isn't going to make it that it never happens again.] That, though...I think I'm ready to face, should it ever come our way again.
[He wants to make this work. He wants to stay.]
I guess... I guess it was always kind of a no brainer, huh? I just never wanted to acknowledge how badly this place wore me down.
I'm sorry.
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[The spiritual energy radiating from Dandy's core will worsen in intensity whilst the divine entity's brows furrow, a crack at the surface of Dandy's own frivolous exterior, one he's clung so desperately to in all of his previous lives.
It's ugly, the anxiety and dismay that bubble to the surface.
Dandy winces, feeling responsible still. No matter how the bridge of his nose wrinkles, he keeps in mind Hild's words- Sometimes, you have done all you can do, and everything still goes to hell regardless.]
The others might've stuck their necks out for all of this stabby-stabby bullcrap, but I ain't buyin' into it. Not now, 'n not ever, baby.
Who's to say that my life is worth more than anybody else's, huh? In the grand scheme of things it's all the same.
If I had a choice...
It would've been just been me.
But that would've messed you up just as bad, huh? In a whole 'nother way.
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Dandy's not the only one who winces. Hagakure too can't help but shudder, both over that scenario and from the sudden burst of negativity in that once-warm energy. More tears are spilled, though now Hagakure's weeping is much more subdued. He's so emotionally exhausted.]
It would've. Maybe even worse than this. [...] I don't know how I would've kept myself going.
[He squeezes his eyes shut when those words are out and he remembers Dandy telling him about how he could barely manage to get himself out of bed some days during the week after Hagakure's death. He realizes that it would have been exactly the same for him.]
It's selfish to say it. I know it's selfish, after I put you through that myself. But I really wouldn't be able to handle it. I...I love you so much, I can't-
["I wouldn't be able to let you go, even if you were gone."]
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Don't worry, babe.
I don't mind.
Honesty's important.
[Dandy sighs.]
It's probably shitty that I'm even thinkin' like this, but it's nice thatcha even love me enough to...
Well, all of that.
[He will, however, extend a wriggly hand to scratch Eevee on the neck scruff during all of this?! Mostly to ensure that their furry friend feels included.]
That reminds me, though.
I'm gonna need you to make me a promise before we go.
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He gently nuzzles against Dandy's now-damp shirt for added comfort.]
S'not shitty. At least...I don't think so. I'm just glad you don't think I'm insane or something.
[Because he could totally see that perspective. He's fallen ridiculously hard. Some people wouldn't even want to deal with that in a partner. But again, Dandy is so patient. Hagakure really doesn't know how he managed to luck out like this amongst all the shitty moments in his life.
Sensing that the tension is dying down somewhat, Eevee seems to have cheered up a little bit! Dandy reaching out for him certainly helps too. He makes a contented yip and rubs back against the scritches. Hagakure lifts his head up when he hears this.]
Oh, crap. I'm sorry, Eevee... I hope you can forgive me for ignorin' you for a minute there.
[What a great first impression to leave on his new friend. Hopefully Eevee doesn't hold it against him too much.
He turns his attention back to Dandy when the other man brings up a promise, expression curious.]
Yeah? What is it?
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So yes, Eevee is staying, absolutely.]
When it comes to romance, I'm also a real nut.
Guess that makes us perfect for each other.
[In an animated fashion, Dandy cocks his head to the side briefly.]
Had I have known that the dead were hold up somewhere on another side, I would've never stopped tryin' to figure out how to get to where you were, so~!
Maybe it's for the best that we weren't apart for too long.
[Dandy brushes a stray lock from the side of Gooby's tear-strained face, choosing to switch languages for now. The movements of his lips are going to mirror that choice.]
Since you've become my sun, moon, and stars...
If anything happens to me, you can be sad! For a time.
But after a while, I'm gonna need you to throw me a "Goin' Away" party. Or, uh, let's call it a "Whoops, He's Already Gone" shindig!
And then move the hell on. You can remember me, but there's so much good you just haven't gotten yet.
What's the point of gettin' you outta here if you don't get to live it up later? You should know what that feels like.
You've never been in love before, right?
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Love really does make us do crazy things, huh...
[He voices his inner thoughts aloud this time. He's really glad it didn't come to that, though- that Dandy didn't have to force his way into where the dead remained. Though they both went through horrible trauma to end up there, they had each other. There was no way they were going to last very long separated, even if Hagakure had the benefit of knowing that there was a chance they could reunite someday.
Honestly, he probably would've done the same thing as Dandy under those circumstances...
That is, until Dandy voices the promise that he wants Hagakure to make. He kneejerk reaction is to flinch hard. He so badly wants to blurt out that he doesn't want to think about that possibility when he's just now getting over the fear of the two of them getting separated in general.
But he doesn't do that. Instead, the dismay on his face shifts into something more resolved. He swallows his fear down.]
I'll do it. [His voice cracks when he agrees. He's doing everything in his power to be brave about this.] I'll carry you in my heart, but I won't let it consume me.
[Just because Dandy's bringing this possibility up now doesn't mean Hagakure has to live in fear of it. The thing about life is that even in the most ideal conditions, it doesn't last forever. Acknowledging it now, even if the time doesn't come until decades into the future, is healthiest thing he can do.
He needs to listen to Dandy and live life to the fullest, because he finally has the opportunity to do so. He can't squander it.
When asked about his love life, he shakes his head.]
You're the first I've fallen for.
[He's still young and dumb. He hasn't been hurt in the ways that someone more experienced with relationships might have been.]
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[That might be a jab at Hagakure's love of centerfolds... But?! Um excuse me, hello, Dandy of all people has no right-]
What an honor.
[To be his first.
And therein lies the difference between them both.
Dandy's face shifts into the kindest configuration it could possibly twist into, but since Hagakure can feel the very essence of Dandy radiating from the human-shaped body in front of him, he will parse out that beneath the surface, Dandy's feelings are a lot more complicated than they seem. Although warmth takes precedence, there's a cognitively dissonant pang of pain, that begins thrumming. With each beat, it grows more rhythmic, dull, and consistent- But consistent, nonetheless, interrupting the affection sporadically.
Unfortunately, this is only a little taste of what being a Dandy guy in space is like.]
This place wasn't my favorite. Let's get that outta the way real fast.
I wouldn't even say most of these folks liked me all that much, but that's just life, baby! Not everybody gets along, and that's A-okay.
I've met a few folks that I'm gonna remember forever, though, and I think that makes the pain of bein' here all the more worth it.
If things were easier, I'm not even sure I would've taken a chance on you.
[Knowing Dandy, if there were a wider variety of women or even a few who were interested in him, it may have clouded his judgment. Loving Hagakure was far from his last choice, however, especially since the younger man is what Dandy would consider an ideal partner.
He's giving, patient, and openly affectionate. A little foolhardy, sure, but so is Dandy, and it'll give them something to laugh about later. The opportunity to grow together is there, as opposed to one person being so far ahead character-wise that the waiting game sours all potential. Hagakure isn't a stickler about marriage, he hails from a culture that Dandy is familiar with and understands, and the clairvoyant genuinely loves aliens and wants nothing more but to leave his life of misery behind.
Dandy couldn't have gotten luckier.]
I might've kept my mouth shut and letcha skee-daddle on away from me.
I do that a lot.
[Here, he wiggles his fingers.]
When things are workin' real good, the goin' gets tough for me, if you can believe it!
I get scared, so then I let go.
With you, it's different. If the Dandy grip's startin' to slacken up a little bit, you always seem to pull me right back.
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Yeah, the first for real time.
[Where actual feelings were on the line.
Speaking of feelings...for someone with senses for this kind of thing like Hagakure, it's hard to miss the underlying darker feelings lurking beneath Dandy's kind smile. Some might say Hagakure is terrible at reading a room, and they'd be correct. But his spiritual sense is no joke. It's likely that he's only able to tap into this wavelength so well because it's a spiritual entity like Dandy.
That rhythm makes him wince every time it pulsates out, and it only serves to worsen the blow of what Dandy admits to next. He hates that he's letting it hurt him, because it feels so hypocritical of him. Of course he wouldn't have been on Dandy's radar if things were different. It most likely would have been the same for him, had there been more women around. Neither of them thought they would ever be interested in men before this, so--
Dandy elaborates, however, and the real point at the end of it all clicks. Hagakure's expression softens with concern.]
You get scared? [...] Why?
[That dull and constant pain forces its way back in, and he figures it has to be related. But this sort of pain isn't something he can just figure out on his own. He simply has no idea what it's like.]
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[The sound is pained, much like Dandy's expression.
His response here, candid and a little aloof, is proof that Dandy has changed for the better. He's not avoiding the question and instead ruminates on it even if it hurts him.
That oh so very Dandy spiritual frequency throbs.]
Well.
I've had a lifetime of lifetimes to get my heart broken, so I know how it feels.
The last thing I wanna hear is how somebody I'm crazy about doesn't love me anymore. Hell, even like me.
[It's obvious from the way his face scrunches up that... That part hurts the most.]
Y'know how people say that they get tired of whoever they're with? That shit gets old, yeah, I don't...
I mean, it's happened sometimes when the vibes weren't really groovy, but...
I like gettin' to know people. I like when things feel comfortable. Like breathing, but bootylicious, y'know?
As for excitement, we can get that outta the job! Whuh... When you're warping, [Even though Dandy hates it,] you can go anywhere.
So...
[Dandy cuts himself short.]
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He gives the other man a gentle squeeze.]
I know words don't mean that much, and I'll never be able to fathom the full force of the pain you've experienced...but I never wanna do that to you. I promise you, Dandy- [Dandy. Not Dee.] I meant it when I said I wanna be with you forever.
[...did he ever use that direct phrasing out loud? If he didn't, it's certainly out there now, and it's the truth. There's nothing in Hagakure's own spiritual frequency to say otherwise. It's warm and soothing...and it's as if it's asking Dandy to not be afraid to let it in.
Just like how Dandy has shown Hagakure...it's gonna be okay.]
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The meld, or the merge, feels like he soulful equivalent of tips touching. You know which ones.
Crap, crap, crap, now is not the time for horniness... Not with Eevee here?!]
Forever's a long time.
[The fact of the matter is, that's not the right word.
This won't last forever, nothing ever does.
But Dandy has made peace with that long ago. It's why he chooses to live in the moment and hardly ever sweats the small stuff.]
We'll be majorly old and wrinkly by the end of it~!
Everything's prob'ly gonna succumb to Gravity, baby, she's got grabby hands!
[NO, NOW HE IS DOING THE TITTY HANDGRAB MOTION-]
Still think it's a good idea?
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On that fateful night that the two of them first made love, Dandy had asked Hagakure if he believed in spiritual wavelengths and seemed disappointed when Hagakure responded that he couldn't really sense them down at the bottom of the ocean. He certainly can now, though. They're perfectly in sync, his and Dandy's.
All of this sentimental introspection is cut out by a laugh. It's Hagakure's own laugh.]
Uh, yeah it's still a good idea! [As if there was any doubt?] Even if your dangly bits get droopy, that's not gonna stop me from lovin' you.
'sides, I've got a feelin' that even if we're both old, I'm not gonna find you any less hot.
[It's more than a feeling. He's seen it. The two of them, advanced in age but no less happy to have one another, enjoying the the sakura blooms of a far-off planet that Dandy has yet to forget to bring Hagakure to every year.]
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You're a real charmer, aren'tcha, Hiro?
[It's Dandy's turn to be bashful.]
I happen to think that the people I love look better with age.
[He's spouting this shit off the top of his head because it feels right, not because he can pinpoint the experience.
Dandy is the reckless sort, prone to getting into fatal accidents and dangerous situations. As of recent, he has yet to survive a timeline where he lives an entire stretch longer than forty years, and the majority of them end somewhere between twenty-five and thirty-two.
For a Dandy guy with a supposedly endless lifespan, that sure as hell is a short as shit life expectancy.]
'Cause each extra line or additional grey hair's a measure of the time we've been together.
Or maybe I gave them some of those greys 'cause I was bein' a pain in the ass! Still, it's my work then, and I like to think of it as Dandy's assterpiece.
[...a silence passes]
I mean masterpiece.
I'm so glad you're doin' me the honor of bein' mine.
I think you're prettier than all the pricey paintings they sling up on the walls of those fancy places. Whadda they call 'em?
Mausoleums?
[YOU MEAN A MUSEUM!?]
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Thanks. I mighta gotten it from a certain someone here.
[And no he doesn't mean poor Eevee, who continues to be an amazing sport about the whole thing. He sports a grin as he leans over to give the fluffy little guy a pet.
Hagakure could definitely make a jab about Dandy causing grey hairs, because after that scuffle in the Thinker's room he's pretty sure he's going to end up with some premature ones.
He doesn't go for it, though, because...look, this is all very sweet and he can feel his cheeks heating up. Yes, even that extremely cringey word mix-up is sweet, though Hagakure can't help but snort lightly over it.]
I- I think you mean "museums", Dee.
[The biggest surprise here is that he isn't freaking out about being accidentally associated with something as creepy as a mausoleum. He's too busy thinking about how endearing his silly space husband(?!) is.]
I couldn't have asked for a better artist, though. But if you don't mind, I'm not gonna rush to get those lines 'n' grey hairs. I wanna be young 'n' spry for a while longer.
[Now that the tension has lessened considerably for the both of them, he lifts his head up to search for Dandy's lips.]
Not that I think age is gonna slow us down that much...but I'm not takin' my chances. I wanna make the most use outta all this youthful stamina, if ya know what I mean.
[Wink wonk.]
1/3
2/3
3/3
Love is indeed a work of art, perhaps in its truest form. Beautiful to some and incomprehensible to others, usually requiring several tries to get things just right or close enough.
Some may never manage to make that happen. Dandy's finally got his chance, and with that, he stands to his feet.]
Grab the creature.
[Of course, the thing that sets Dandy's motivation ablaze is the promise of... Well, booty.
Screw mausoleums! Museums, whatever.]
I'm ready to go.
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nsfw, i tag, in my own horny musebox