bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

[Ah. So that's it. Dandy hasn't had a lot of luck with romance either. Part of Hagakure had wondered about it- just a tiny thought in the back of his mind during their amazing time in bed together.

"How is this guy even single? How hasn't some lucky lady snatched him up already?"

Is it just that no one's really seen Dandy the way that he does? Has no one else managed to find the brilliant diamond hidden beneath that rough exterior? No. It has to be more than that. He can't have been the only one.]

I'm sorry.

[First and foremost, he wants to get that out there. He brought this on.]

...I could do a reading, if it would help you feel better. A lotta people come to me when they have problems in their love lives.

[Normally this is when he'd throw in the sales pitch, but he doesn't even consider it. He's more than willing to do this for free.]

I just... I know sayin' "well, maybe it'll be different with us" doesn't mean shit. There's only two ways to find out, and one of 'em can save you more pain.

[There's an unmistakable melancholy in Hagakure's tone when he talks about his own potential future like this, because he absolutely wants to believe it could work without getting his talent involved.

After all, what if his vision confirms that it will end badly?]

[The answer to that question is fairly simple- Dandy doesn't mind going the extra mile for his partners, but he'll be damned if he's made to abandon his lifestyle. He can be loud, obnoxious, and even downright mean-spirited sometimes, and oh, he's also terrible with money.]

That's a pretty sweet deal you're offerin'.

[Dandy's eyes crinkle at the edges again, gentle as ever, and he slowly takes hold of the hand shielding him from the stream of water.

Now they're both going to be drenched.]

But, it's okay, baby.

I'd rather not know.

Most of the girls I've dated wanted to bag the baby-makin', picket-fence type.

I sure as hell know that ain't me.

[And as for the others, they were too cool for him.

He toggles Hagakure's hand a little bit.]

You might be a professional 'n all, but~! I've gotta ask...

Wouldja let me read your palms, for a change? I'd like to see what's in your future.

Edited 2022-08-19 04:04 (UTC)

[Hagakure's eyes widen slightly as Dandy takes his hand, his gaze getting lost in that expression. Internally, he concludes that those women had no idea what they were missing out on.

And for once, just this once...he's glad that someone turned him down for a reading.]

D'you see me as the settling down type either?

[For now at least, the tension eases considerably and Hagakure allows himself to let out a tiny little laugh. Of course he'd love companionship, but his job doesn't really lend itself well to the 9 to 5 grind. No, he's always played kind of fast and loose...

Uh? He blinks a few times, wiping some water that's run down onto his face with his other hand.]

You...wanna do a reading? For me?

[It would certainly be a first. Funny enough, he's never had his fortune told by someone else. Why bother when he can do it himself?

He's thrown off by the offer, to say the least. But he finds himself nodding slowly.]

Sure. Tell me whatcha see.

Isn't it too early to tell for you? You've never been with anybody.

[Anybody else, now.]

Not long term, not serious, right?

Hmmm.

Let's take a look.

[Dandy takes hold of both of Hagakure's hands, which, to an expert, is probably a dead giveaway that he's kinda-sorta bullshitting. Still, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and honestly? It's a miracle he didn't inhale more recycled bathwater.

Dandy lets his thumbs trace the lines he feels beneath them. Seconds pass, and then-]

Somebody might get on your case aboutcha bein' a little too earnest, in the future. Good news is, you don't gotta listen to that bull-froggy-crap!

It's your best feature. So, go with your gut!

It's gonna hurt ya most of the time, but don't let that stop ya.

On your last try, you'll find the one.

The universe is a big place, and actually! There's a whole bunch of 'em.

So, one day, you'll run into the kinda person who's gonna love that about you.

[And, at the risk of sounding corny as hell-]

I know I already do.

[Damn, Dandy has him there.]

W-Well...no, but...do ya gotta have a storied history to know?

[There's always a chance he could end up upending his lifestyle, but the traditional family life? That's pretty wild to imagine. Alien hunting, though...what a dream.

Hagakure files these considerations away for the meantime and focuses completely on Dandy's impromptu palm reading. He watches closely, feigning a critical eye here and there. While he can certainly tell that there's a lot of improvising going on, he doesn't seem to mind at all. It's the thought that counts, and he can see the effort being put into the act.

By the end of it, Hagakure's actually grateful for all the water around. He has a better chance at hiding how choked up he is over all of this.]

Y'know, Dee, I think you're a natural at this.

[Even if the act itself wasn't 100% legit, that really was a masterful reading. Hagakure certainly feels better after hearing it, and he's the one who does this for a living!]

Go with my gut, huh...? [He repeats, closing his hands around Dandy's.] I had to do that back at Hope's Peak- when we confronted 'shima. When I had a vision that told me not to leave, I had to listen to Naegs and follow my instincts, or I'd have been trapped in that prison forever.

[He smiles brightly.]

Well, my gut's tellin' me not to let this one slip by me.

["This one" being of course...]

I know I'm askin' a helluva lot from you, Dee, but...will you at least gimme a chance?

[Dandy's hands squeeze Hagakure's back, and there the clairvoyant goes again- Hitting him right in the feels, as Dandy would say.

Despite any attempt to brush him off or perhaps encourage the younger man to take a step back and re-evaluate, the sometimes musician is being told repeatedly and consistently that he's desirable, and that perhaps he of all people is worth getting a heart broken for.

The thing is, Dandy has no right to determine how much he means to other people- That's their business. He knows who he is, and he likes himself this way. He's comfortable in his own skin.

Being loved by someone else is something else entirely. His "heart" is going crazy right now.]

It's not too much.

I don't mind gettin' my heart all punched up...

But are you?

[Dandy's consciousness is encroached by a darker thought. What if they die? Or worse, what if Hagakure dies, never knowing what it's like to be in loved or be loved?

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe Dandy can give him some of the affection he was denied in his youth, from his peers and probably his father.]

If it helps, I... I'll do my best to take good care of you.

And love you down real good, just the way you want, baby.

Edited 2022-08-19 14:50 (UTC)

[Dandy's not the only one whose heart is going crazy. When his hands grip onto Hagakure's, he'll be able to tell that the clairvoyant is shaking. Is it nerves? Excitement? Maybe both. It's a new frontier that Hagakure is venturing into, after all.]

Yeah. I'm prepared for the possibility. If I don't take the risk, then it's gonna hurt even worse down the line.

I'd be kickin' myself for the rest of my life.

[Dandy is far from the first crush that Hagakure has ever had. However, he is the first who he's felt a genuine connection of this caliber with. That's why he's being so persistent. He's not just trying to make Dandy feel good- he has sincerely meant every word of affection and every compliment.

If he comes to regret any of this later, well... He needed to start somewhere. He can't be young and inexperienced forever.]

I'm not gonna try to punch your heart up though, ya know... I'm gonna do everything I can to avoid it, even. This kinda thing's not supposed to be painful, right?

[Not all the time, at least. That's not fun at all.

His smile softens into something goofy but gentle.]

I'd love nothing more. Seriously. And you can expect the same from me. I wouldn't be chasin' you this hard if I was just gonna turn around 'n' start slackin'.

You're worth it. I dunno what those other girls mighta said or thought...but you're worth it.

[Dandy blinks in response, his expression growing cloudy as his features relax in a way that may seem almost unreadable.

As per usual, a litany of excuses slough their way into his prototypically empty headspace. Dandy's rolodex of bodacious babes and catty chicks didn't work out, so, what, he's moving on to dudes now? He can practically hear the chiding of QT and Meow, that between muddled mutterings of sheer bewilderment.

And yet the truth still stands. There's no denying that Dandy had enjoyed having Hagakure's cock in his mouth and making him feel good, like the clairvoyant was on top of the world instead of constantly being topped by it for a change. It's nice to be with a younger man, someone wide-eyed and full of wonder, without the jaded outlook that Dandy's come to expect from most everything in the cosmos, human, alien, divine...

Whatever.]

It is, though.

But I think I get whatcha mean.

[Dandy shakes his head at the last line.]

I know my worth, baby.

Do you, though...? Know yours.

I can't give it to ya, even if I think you're plenty special.

[He repeats himself just to be sure.]

The truth is, it was there all along.

How much you mattered.

It was there since the start.

[There's a stillness in the air.

Is it cold? Warm?

That's for Hagakure to determine.]

Kicked off the minute you were born until now.

[Dandy knows he shouldn't talk so much.

He's going to regret this tomorrow morning.]

It just breaks my heart that nobody seems to see it the way I do.

More for me, I guess.

Edited 2022-08-22 04:59 (UTC)

[Does Hagakure know his worth...?

Ah. He doesn't like having it turned around on him. The question leaves him with a look of uncertainty, because he truly doesn't have an answer.

Self-worth is something he's struggled with a lot, especially after going through the killing game at Hope's Peak. He's pretty sure no one there found him helpful or useful- in fact, many of his classmates made it perfectly clear what they thought of him, and it wasn't good. In fact, while no one said it outright, he wouldn't be surprised if any of them wished someone else had survived instead of him. As much as he'd thought he hadn't let it get to him, he found himself concerned about it here in New Rapture. He desperately wants to help, and while he's doing his best...is it enough?

Is he even enough for Dandy?

He opens his mouth to voice that uncertainty, but Dandy beats him to the punch...

All of the sudden, it's like something has a stranglehold on his heart.]

It was...there all along?

[He repeats, breathless. Maybe Dandy's right. Maybe this is supposed to be painful, but not just in the standard way.

He lets go of one of Dandy's hands to clutch at his chest, his expression contorting from the overwhelming wave of emotion crashing down on him. Dandy didn't just tug at Hagakure's heartstrings. He may as well have played a song with them.

He lets out a laugh, though it's choked up.]

W-Well. I guess it's good to know I've been doin' something right this whole time.

[Dandy places one dropped hand on Hagakure's shoulder to steady him,and the other finds its way to the psychic's face, caressing the stubble before the alien hunter leans into pull him into a lingering kiss.

Worth is not a matter of being smart, or brawny, nor kind or rude. There is an inherent value and even meaning to every form of existence, which is why the idea of actively killing someone to escape from this place doesn't sit well with Dandy. He despises boxes, he despises traps, but there is a chance that if the whole lot of them banded together and tried to move on with their lives without a shred of violence, they could form a new home here.]

You doubt yourself a lot.

There's no need for that. This shithole-

[Dandy draws back, although not too far. He's still whispering in a sultry voice against Hagakure's lips. They're naked and dawdling in a bath, surrounded by steam ghosting over pruning skin.

Still, it feels comfortable.]

And the one you were in before aren't the end all, be all.

So let's try and make sure it isn't The End, baby.

[Hagakure returns that kiss a little too desperately, but he can chide himself for it later. His hands slowly find their way back to Dandy's sides and he closes his eyes as they kiss underneath the gentle stream of water.

He's much more relaxed by the time Dandy severs the kiss for the time being.]

I know. [Though it's a little painful to admit, he doesn't avert his eyes.] I'm tryin' really hard to work on it.

[While it's true that Dandy can't be the one to give Hagakure's life meaning, he's done wonders at pointing that meaning out to the clairvoyant tonight. Hagakure just needs to remind himself of it every now and then, and push himself to live up to it. When the going gets tough, he needs to stay true to himself instead of letting fear overtake him.

He wants to be done with being the cowardly and useless guy who always runs away from his problems. And to accomplish that, he needs to make it through this second horror show.

His lips curl into a determined smile as he leans back in for another quick kiss.]

Call it cliché, but when I stood up to 'shima, I said I wanted to know what the door to the future had in store for me- and not in the fortune-telling sense. I almost fell back into despair when I thought that door led to just another one of these games.

But I don't think that was it. Not anymore. I think...it was leading me to you.

So it's not gonna be The End. It would just be downright cruel for Fate to get all fickle now.

["...It was leading me to you."

Those words fill Dandy's chest like an blooming lotus, stirring up a few cognitively dissonant emotions. This feels new, but old at the same time. Like it's fresh, and not just in the way a blossoming relationship is exciting.

This feels like the first time on the second try.

The first time all over again.

Why?]

Uuuuuh.

[Dandy turns off the showerhead. Kissing in the rain isn't as nice as kissing in the shower.

Both are pretty romantic, though.]

On a scale of rub-a-dub-dub to "Wow, is that REALLY human flesh?" how clean wouldja say your legs are...

And, uh, noooo!

This is definitely not a foot fetish thing.

Edited 2022-08-23 02:22 (UTC)

[Hagakure blinks a few times when Dandy reaches over to shut the water off. He's about to mention how they haven't finished yet, but he doesn't have to.]

The fact that you gotta clarify...

[He's only teasing, though. It actually makes him laugh, all light and cute.

He ends up making a wishy-washy motion with his hand.]

Ehhh...probably closer to rub-a-dub-dub? Not gross or anything since I actually did shower once today, but like... [Shyly:] If you're offerin' to scrub 'em, I wouldn't say no.

[Because let's be real, he probably missed a spot or two. And even if he didn't, tonight has been pretty, uh. Sweaty.]

I'm only givin' a poo-shaw [that's not a real word] about the posterior, baby. Toes? Dandy couldn't care less! But, hey, if we're gettin' cozy and you want me to suck on 'em-

["You" being a hypothetical "you" and not Hagakure necessarily-]

Sure! Why not?

I'm game.

[Dandy plugs the drain, turning on the faucet once more. He pours something from a different bottle into the slowly deepening pool of water, and bubbles slowly begin to froth at the surface.]

Gimme your gams, man, c'mon!

I think you're good with me on that... I've never found feet all that sexy myself.

[He can also think of a few other things that he'd prefer to be sucked first, um.

Anyway I am sorry moving on-- Hagakure eases himself onto his posterior as their shower turns into a bath. Wow, a two-for-one. He scoots back a little so his legs are on either side of Dandy. He can take his pick of which one to scrub first! And because I absolutely do not believe the Danganronpa art team, Hagakure's legs absolutely have hair on them okay.]

A bubble bath, too... [He can't help but grin about it. As usual, this is all new and exciting for him.] What scent didja pick?

Honestly? I dunno.

[Dandy snorts. He starts with Hagakure's right leg, his hands lavishing affection on his inner thigh. These legs are smoother than the ones he's used to touching, but oddly enough, he doesn't mind.]

I like roses and raspberry. Lavender's good too.

[All favorites of ex-girlfriends.

Dandy doesn't remember, as usual.]

I know they're girly scents, but they're nice! Soothin'.

[He hums the tune to a melody he's long since forgotten the title of.

Dandy, for once, appears to be completely at peace. Not boisterous, rowdy, or engulfed by his distressing levels of horny, but...

Zen.]

I'm more the type to pop open a bubbly than take a bath with few, y'know?

Unless there's someone in it with me.

Thanks for doin' this.

Nothin' wrong with that!

[Hagakure's tone is sing-songy as he speaks. He's having such a good time being pampered like this. If he's not careful, he could melt right into this bath.]

I like girly scents too, 'specially in times like this. They're nice 'n' clean smells, y'know? I dunno, I feel like with guy scents it's a whole different vibe.

[Of course, both scents have their roles of attracting others, but he's less likely to wear cologne because he enjoys the scent of it.

His grin softens back into a fond smile as he watches Dandy work and listens to that humming. It's soothing, just like the rest of this moment.]

Thanks for suggestin' it. This is real nice, seriously... I think I'd be more into gettin' wet if it could be like this every time.

[Seriously, he's even found himself thinking about how nice it would be for the two of them to take advantage of that fancy-schmancy tub across the bathroom. If only they had some actual bubbly to drink... But ah, he really shouldn't be thinking about more booze when he has a head-splitting hangover waiting for him in the morning.]

But I know I gotta get better at this. I wanna get better. I never wanna get scolded by you again.

[Though that moment of mortification is already like a distant memory at this point, the sentiment remains. He hopes Dandy will notice one day- press his nose to Hagakure's neck and tell him how good he smells.

Heh.]

[Dandy casually shrugs the leg he's working on over his shoulder, also so he can get a chance to touch that pancake-flat ass. He chuckles, rubbing soap from Hagakure's knees to his ankles.

When he gets to the other man's foot, he is particularly lavish with his attention. He might not be the most thorough alien hunter who ever was, but Dandy is sure to wash over the soles and between the toes.]

Yeah! With guy scents, it's really easy to do a little too much.

You gotta use about half a spritz with those.

I learned that the hard way.

[He wonders if he should act upon the incessant itch in the back of his mind, yearning to fill in the gaps. What exactly happened, in the beginning, that other time?

And how can he avoid it in this cosmic thread...]

Hey! I'm still in here with you, aren't I?

That's gotta count for somethin'.

[The sudden shift sends Hagakure reaching for either side of the tub to steady himself. It's a good thing too, because he absolutely wriggles a little when Dandy makes a grab for his ass. He can't help but laugh back- more a giggle than anything, but it's soft and content. He's flattered that Dandy would actually go for seconds or thirds with a butt as flat as his.]

So that's the trick. [He muses between noises of contentment. It feels really nice to have his feet tended to like this. He didn't realize how tense those muscles were.] I haven't really experimented all that much? But I think I went overboard all the times I did put some cologne on.

[He was basically a walking plume of cheap cologne. Dandy would've gotten such a kick out of it.

in response to that last bit...]

It counts for everything! And believe me, I'm takin' plenty of notes. [He taps one of his temples.] Storin' 'em right up in the brain library.

[It's cute that he thinks he'll retain any information in those few brain cells of his once they get rocked by the consequences of his actions tonight.]

'specially if you want me to practice on you.

[Here, Dandy stops washing and squints.]

The perfume thing?

[He seems genuinely dumbfounded.]

Is this your weird way of sayin' you wanna make me... Cough?

Edited 2022-08-25 06:16 (UTC)

Oh my gods--

[Hagakure just laughs, feigning a little exasperation.]

No, dummy [affectionate], I wanna give you a good scrub-down too.

S'only fair, right?

[Dandy, on the other hand, appears sheepish for a few seconds, going so far as to rub a sudsy hand in his own hair. Whoops! That's not shampoo.

He's the older one, and clearly more experienced, so...]

Oh!

Guess so? A-ah, shoot...

That ain't conditioner!

[He looks up at the suds that he can see from his perspective, chuckling at his own foolish pitfall.]

Y'know, I miiiight just wanna snuggle after all of this.

'Sides! You've got plenty of time to pay me back for my service.

[Dandy knows there are plenty of establishments that offer it back in Hagakure's homeland, and the tradition has become a mainstay in various areas around the galaxy. If there's a date planet, there's certainly a pleasure planet, and despite Dandy's rampant consumption of printed pornography, he doesn't really enjoy the nature of those services.

They are a little too transactional for his tastes.]

Just don't die on me!

'Kay?

[Cute... Hagakure laughs back before leaning forward and scooping up some water to rinse Dandy's hair out with. It's hard not to sport a goofy, googly smile as runs his own hand through the other man's hair.]

There, mistake erased.

[He gently pushes aside any stray strands in Dandy's face before pulling back.]

That's true... [He speaks like he's just come to a great realization, because in a way, he has. Dandy's speaking of future interactions. It's starting to feel real, like this could actually work--] Okay, I'll be sure to getcha back later.

[More specifically on that last bit...]

'cause I'm not goin' anywhere. It's a promise.

[He knows he really shouldn't be promising that he's not going to die. It required a lot of dumb luck to make it through his last game, and there's no guarantee that he'll be that lucky a second time. But unlike last time, he knows what to expect and he has the fortune to be able to improve upon his past mistakes to keep himself alive. Surely that has to mean something.

Surely having a new, very special incentive to keep his spirits high has to mean that much more.]

In the meantime, snuggling sounds real nice. [He's being a little presumptuous with what he says next, but...] I guess I'm gettin' to share a bed with someone for the first time tonight too, huh?

Edited 2022-08-29 16:46 (UTC)

[As soon as Hagakure runs his hand through Dandy's hair, he attempts to brush a stray, lengthy sideburn behind his ear. Holy fuck, this is nice. He's oddly quiet when being tended to, sobered by the notion that it really has been forever since anybody's treated him with such kindness.

It'd be nice if they could go to bars and hold hands and shit.

That's the funny thing about Space Dandy- He's got a helluva lot of raunchy fantasies, sure, but it's the little things, the tender moments... That seem the most fantastical of all.

They're always just out of reach.

Fickle. Momentary.

It's why he clings to the present so strongly.]

You've never passed out with one of your crushes somewhere?

[He says this all while racking his own mental roledex for a memory. Anything similar.

Once again, he finds nothing.]

Fall asleep while studyin' hard? Pass out after stealin' a few soft drinks from the local convenience store on a late night out?

Damn. Well, maybe it's a good thing you've got a crush on me.

[Dandy's jovial tone of voice dips for a second.

The facade drops, if only for a short while.]

I'm tired.

I'd like to fall asleep in somebody's arms for a change. Instead of my own drool, y'know?

…no.

[Dandy’s examples only serve to remind Hagakure of how much he has missed out on in his young and dumb years. He’s never had friends to hang out with, let alone a crush who would give him the time of day outside of maybe hearing a fortune.

He lowers his head a little, looking down with a melancholy expression at the dissolving bubbles in their bath.]

And if I did get up to anything in high school, I don’t remember it. ‘Shima took those two years away from me.

[It really sucks when he actually stops to think about it.

But you know what? Whether he has never gotten to experience this before or doesn’t remember, at least he’s getting to do it now.

Keeping that in mind, he lifts his head high once more and takes hold of Dandy’s hand.]

You’re in luck, Dee, ‘cause I wanna fall asleep with someone in my arms. I obviously don’t have anyone to vouch for this, but I like to imagine they’re comfy enough.

We can finish up here if you’re that tired.

CALL ME OUT

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he is dumb

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1/2

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this is short butt i had to get this cursed joke out of my headspace

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