CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

[bobbob]

[ Work tomorrow is certainly going to be interesting, that's for sure. Robert hadn't given it much thought at first, but as the night draws on, it's becoming less easy to avoid. Is it going to be more difficult that they'll probably have gotten very little sleep, or that he's going to have to look at Flambae without dropping his eyes to his lips, or his chest. Or lower. Imagining the cheetah print Calvin Kleins he's looking at right now as he dutifully sits the lid of a toilet and lets himself be looked over.

Originally he'd wanted to protest— he's had much, much worse — but it's clearly important to Flambae, and so he kept his mouth shut. Doesn't even laugh that apparently his body being an actual jigsaw puzzle of various battles and fights isn't enough of a reminder to a superpowered idiot that he doesn't just heal.

His head tilts slightly at the rambling, and there's a little smile on the side of his lips. ]

Okay, well. Counterpoint: Beef doesn't have expensive taste, he'll eat literally anything.

[ he looks at the dog criminal in question (whom he loves very very much). ]

You were a very naughty boy when I wasn't looking, weren't you Beef? Weren't you...

[ It's honestly a miracle that the dog isn't imploding from all the shrimps he ate. Of course Beef just looks back at Robert like he's the best most special, wonderful, amazing person in the whole wide world and it's clear that the dispatcher isn't about to scold him further.

Just. He wanted some of those leftovers too, damn. It would not have happened if he hadn't so impatiently taken his host's face in his hands, kissing him like he was starved and the pasta wasn't doing the trick at all. But still.

He ... doesn't really regret that. ]

Second counter: it's ... best not to think about what a twinkie is made out of.

[ His smile is kind of weird and fond for what just came out of his mouth, but that's because the way Flambae went on about it was kind of endearing actually. He has these larger than life descriptions about family dynamics that Robert doesn't have a clue about but are quite apparently important to him even in silly throw away comments. It might be a little difficult to not imagine that he's eating a twinkie full of nasty lotion, but Robert is confident he can overcome (so the twinkies are staying).

As for the more serious of Flambae's "news", Robert blinks, briefly caught off guard. Once again, these aren't the type of questions he's asked all that often. Even seemingly simple things like "what's your favorite type of donut?" weren't a full on attempt to get to know the man behind the desk. It was an ADHD thing. And a way to make fun of him.

He doesn't feel like he's being made fun of here. ]

You know, I ... do like the color blue. But I'm also not the one that picked it, really. I guess I could have really rebelled against the legacy if I decided to go out in yellow or something, but it didn't cross my mind.

[ even his whole One Other Outfit aside from his SDN uniform is a dark blue. He must just like blue.

He casts a glance down at himself for a moment and then to Flambae again. ]

How's the damage? I'm still fit for duty tomorrow, I imagine.

[ Physically. Mentally, he thinks it might be a close one. Most of it's in a positive way, though. The sort of light, fluttery excited way you feel when your crush likes you back, or you have flashbacks of his dick in your mouth and it makes your insides feel all squiggly.

Yes, tomorrow at work is going to be a challenge indeed... ]

am i allowed to type the twinkie line

[incinerhater]

[When Robert smiles, he can't help but take a closer note of the lines around the other man's mouth. They're visible in his stupid little photo ID, something he has absolutely clowned in text messages with Prism, who has also called him out on multiple occasions regarding his Robert obsession. Thankfully, she has always done it in private- A true friend. God, what the hell is he going to tell her?! He hopes she'll open with one of her hilarious, quippy questions, the kind that's somehow straight to the point and scathing all at once.

In some ways, he's a bit jealous of Beef- Robert only looks at him with love and nothing else. Just sweetness isn't quite Flambae's vibe, but... The rollie-pollie of a dog has really been the only living thing that MechaMan has really been able to any love to in recent years.

The fiery hothead doesn't even realize that he's mirroring Robert's expression unintentionally, the corners of his own mouth turning slightly upwards as he listens, doubting the integrity of the Twinkie. Maybe that was the dead giveaway that Robert wasn't straight- That he'll swallow anything.]

Yellow will make you look sickly.

[He quips shortly, applying ointment to the now properly dry wound. It's strange, he was so sure he wanted to destroy MechaMan completely, but was that it? Were all the blows they exchanged simply an excuse to touch him? Even the impulse to engulf Robert in flames, though the kneejerk of rage had definitely prompted it...

To engulf someone's body wholly in fire is to consume them. Flambae can't say he's ever done that before.

And in this instance, he's really, really glad he hasn't.]

Let's just say you're lucky you'll be sitting on your ass all day.

[So Robert seems to really like blue, noted. Blue daisies for tomorrow it is.

Honestly, Flambae wishes he had the right sarcastic comment ready to go right now, but he's distracted.]

You've gone out in the suit when you've looked worse, haven't you? God, you're such a fucking idiot b-

[Right, he hates being called that.]

Baby. Idiot baby... Whatever.

[ALSKDJFAKSJDFASJDFKAJSDF]

You don't need to be doing that anymore.

Seriously! Otherwise, I will fucking kill you.

[don't say that so casually it

makes it seem even more sincere]

twinkie line is crazy

[bobbob]

[ It's good that Flambae doesn't realize he's smiling, since that means that Robert can secretly admire it. He doesn't see the man smiling enough. At least, not when he's being a dick or just riffing with Prism. Of course he's glad those two are tight, this has nothing to do with any of that, but it's nice to have a smile for his own too. Even if he doesn't know that the man is thinking about the lines around his mouth or how Beef is loved so much. ]

No yellow then. Noted.

[ He was definitely not planning to switch to that, anyway.

And Flambae is, of course, correct. His job is at a desk now, with the occasional foray into battle with the new suit. It used to sting a lot more to think about than it does right here, right now, with a man so gently taking care of these minor bites and bruises and threatening murder upon him if he tries to play the hero. It's not going to stop Robert if the time comes of course, but this isn't so bad at all.

Of course Beef gets a little confused when Flambae really starts going, talking about idiot babies (Robert knows what he really wanted to say) and killing him. He wobbles up to Flambae on his bathmat and sniffs him a few times before deciding that he's not actually a threat. Bless his tiny dog heart, he sneezes and plops over beside the living space heater then, content. ]

I guess ...

[ Robert gets thoughtful for a moment, and hesitates. Because he's not sure how much he should say. How much he can say, or if it will ruin the moment or anything like that. But since the opening is there, he gestures down to his body, riddled with scars and bruises as it is. His other hand rubs at the back of his neck. ]

I was never really thinking about these when the big picture seemed so much more important.

[ And that is why Chase said Robert's always been good. Too good, maybe. But that's neither here nor there.

He is kind of implying that if trouble arose, he would definitely run out to the field with some hickeys and bite marks if something dire was happening. Fingers crossed that won't be the case anytime soon. Flambae is safe from having to kill Mecha Man once again. He just wishes he knew how to say he appreciates him looking out like that without either sounding insincere on accident or too awkward or too cheesy...

Well he's maybe been a little cheesy a few times tonight already. ]

If you're really good tomorrow maybe I'll even ask you to spot me in the gym.

[incinerhater]

[And in a way, that was a part of what made MechaMan so admirable. He was always efficient and did good quality work, but it reveals a much sadder truth about the man behind the suit. So he gave his all for the city, and it left him out to dry like that? SDN may have offered him an out, but it’s a corporation at the end of the day. Blonde Blazer may be their sweet, goody-two-shoes type messenger, but she’s more the face than the brains of the operation.]

If not me, then fucking somebody.

[But he’d like it to be him!

Flambae eyes Beef with an air of caution, although he ultimately does not respond. Is this pudgy little thing judging him?! After so unceremoniously making a mess of his kitchen and snacking on fucking seafood…]

Lifting all alone is not safe, for you! Imagine, you have cheated death so many times, and then, DUN-DUN…!

[is he really pausing on the wound care to put on this accented onomatopoeia yes he is]

You are done for reals. Your legacy hero life, ended! By a shitty metal disk with a glory hole.

[There’s so many more questions Flambae would like to ask, especially while Robert is willing to indulge him.]

What is it about the hero thing that you loved so much?

[Flambae has his own reasons for it. Supervillainy had been appealing, in a way, because it was the one “job” he could have that would allow him to be totally true to himself, to perhaps the worst degree.

He had been in a pretty bad way, anyway. No matter how loudly he boasts about his perfect physique or overall awesomeness, he’ll switch on a dime when he’s feeling low.]

Was it the doing good while getting your hands dirty?

[It also seems like Robert hasn’t done much outside of work.

Including. The screwing kind of doing.]

You are so one-track minded.

[Here, he looks Robert directly in the eye.]

Are you like that when it comes to dating as well?

[This is his way of asking Robert if he’s seeing other people. It wouldn’t be uncommon!

Flambae had been, but Robert warrants an exception.]

[bobbob]

[ Robert chuckles a little at that, even if it is a little tired sounding. He did come twice and it's getting later after all. His hands go up innocently. ]

Alright, someone. Promise.

[ No guarantees that if he asks Flambae he won't just make out with him in the locker room instead though. Damn, he really has been reborn... as a horny teenager. And yes, for the record, Beef was judging a little, but promptly stopped when he assessed that the situation was under control. He knows this fiery man. This place smells like him, so he must be alright. Also he's very warm which is perfect after you eat an entire feast that was definitely not meant for you.

Robert drops his hands and rolls his eyes up to the ceiling briefly at the same time. ]

Please don't ever refer to the weights like that again.

[ Almost everything that comes out of that tooth-missing mouth is so out of pocket. But that's really one of the things Robert likes about him, isn't it? Wild of him, but apparently you can't just choose what your heart wants most of the time. When he looks down again, he lightly pats at the place Flambae had rubbed the ointment and shrugs his shoulders a tiny bit. ]

I guess? I just like helping people.

[ It's how he was wired, etc. etc. Growing up hearing about his grandfather, and then always dealing with his dad being gone "working late" ... even hanging around Chase, he was just surrounded by heroes all the time. How could he have thought to be anything different? Even if he could, he wouldn't have. ]

It feels good ... to do good. Doesn't it?

[ Maybe Flambae shouldn't answer that.

But that's how Robert feels, anyway. Luckily for him, being a dispatcher is also helping people, and it's also doing good. So it's still a nice trade off for him. And he does get hurt slightly less. Just slightly.

He thinks of some quip to retort with about being a one track mind, but Flambae making eye contact with him suddenly and asking that question does throw him off a little bit. Robert isn't really sure what he's being asked. ]

I don't ... I'm not going to two-time you or anything if that's what you mean. I haven't been sleeping around, either. Thought that was obvious.

[ he huffs and tilts his head a little, lifting his leg to lightly press his foot against Flambae's stomach in a subtle push. ]

Don't really plan on changing that when I've got you right here.

[incinerhater]

[Flambae, surprisingly, is capable of being discreet.

It does seem as though Robert would like the affection. Flambae isn't usually one to hide his lovers, which........,,,, Makes this situation uniquely terrifying.]

Yo, hey! If you are horny enough?

[He says this as he stops to gently squeeze the fingers Robert used to pat himself, checking for residue, running his thumb over the skin just to make sure.

Good, he hasn't applied too much.

Flambae (or Chad) is currently focused on drying the second with a clean portion of the paper towel.]

Anything could serve as one of those.

You just need to be the right size! Same thing goes for the little open circle.

[YOU MEAN THE H-O-L-E?????

Regarding the hero comment:]

Yes, it does.

[While doing good does, unfortunately, feel great, the answer is still a non-committal one. Then again, it doesn't feel dishonest. So, Robert follows his heart and hardly questions things, perhaps to a fault.

If he's that used to going through the motions, how does he know if he's missed out on anything else?

Selfishly, Flambae's ecstatic that he's so fucking clueless. It means that he can quietly pick up on things that Robert doesn't even know about himself.

Aaaand then he is kicked.]

GYEH-HEH, shit, WHY-...!

[He flails a little over-dramatically, wobbling.]

I am asking because I had another date on the books for Sunday, but I'll cancel it.

[The guy's pubic hair seemed a little questionable anyway. It was almost as though his crotch was sporting its own toupe. Speaking of which, Robert hasn't shaved his face, but has he manscaped, even a little bit? These are the kinds of thing Flambae notices.]

Do not worry about your, ah-

[There's no way he can phrase it any other way-]

Lack of experience.

[DON'T SAY THAT SO CASUALLY AND FLATLY EITHER?!]

It makes you more fun to fuck.

[There's something else he wants to say, but he'll hold his tongue for now.

It's a little crazy.]

[bobbob]

[ Robert drops his foot away again but looks at Flambae somewhat incredulously. ]

I told you not to talk about them like that, and you're going on about it? Fucked up.

[ But he sounds and looks more amused than anything. Now he wants to know if Flambae has tried to stick his dick in some kind of weird, inappropriate hole.. ???? The barbell would be too small for him though ...

Wow, Robert can't believe he has that knowledge now.

Also he thinks that Flambae can't always talk big about how much stronger he is than Robert and then flail so dramatically when he's barely nudged with a foot! This is not something he can have both ways, and Robert will see to that. However, he is just mildly humbled enough by the "lack of experience" comment that he does not yet inform his flaming dispatch-ee of this rule.

And it honestly does ... feel weird to hear that he has a date lined up for Sunday. Not that he could have predicted tonight would happen, or what would happen. It's not Flambae being an asshole for once.

As for whether he manscapes, well. His pubes definitely don't look like they're just part of a detachable toupee. So he would confidently insist that he has a leg up on that other guy.

He doesn't want to be like a jealous girlfriend all of a sudden though, even if all of this did escalate very fast. But hey, like he said before, he's a grown ass adult and he knows what he wants. Probably. He thinks he knows. He's learning to know... ]

I'm not going to tell you what to do. [ Outside of work. ] But I wouldn't mind if you ... [ HMM. ]

— were a little one-track minded about me, too.

[ Like Robert, you have no idea how obsessed with you this man is, that's not even necessary to say. But he feels like it is!! So there is that. You know Robert has a way of bottling up rageful emotions, so he probably wouldn't do well with sharing Flambae that way in the first place. Speaking of being occasionally unhinged, for good measure he adds: ]

I could always hack into his phone and scare him away.

1/2

[incinerhater]

[HE SAID IT OMG HELLO!!!! YES

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

be still his flaming homosexual hEAR T YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[incinerhater]

[Look when it comes to glory holes, he’s mostly been on the other side of them. The encounters were highly dangerous, but that had been a big part of the appeal in the first place. There was always the anonymity and plausible deniability that it came with that had helped, too.]

Aha, no, it’s not-

[Obsessed doesn’t even begin to be the half of it. Not to mention the hours he’d spent unknowingly thinking about Robert in prison, cursing MechaMan and swearing he’d get his revenge on him if he ever saw him again…

And now, he’s hearing the kind of words he almost can’t believe. He’s a grown man too, closer to middle age than he would like to be, and it’s a horrifying, wretched realization when it is so adorably uttered back to him that…

It’s so nice to be wanted, specifically, in that way. And by someone who he’s had some degree of feelings for in a while. There’s a lot more crazy things he’d do even just to get Robert’s attention, so he has to laugh at the endearing note about hacking, resting his forehead against Robert’s body while letting out the sound, then carefully wrapping his arms around the other man to pull him in.

Flambae is loud and brash, unapologetic about who he is. He’s fiercely loyal if he loves you and a total bitch to anyone else!

Chad is sensitive and can be a little quiet. There’s an insecurity to him that’s not as easily hidden by loud bluster, and that is who Robert is getting a chance to see now. He can be funny sometimes, though, and more often than not he’s a but strange.]

I don’t think he was being all that serious about-

[Me, us.]

T-things… Anyway.

[Also, having a cute little nerdy boyfriend hack into things for him just to be petty? Oh, be still his beating heart. The timid, gay teenager in Afghanistan would have eaten that shit up.]

I am pretty sure he just wanted to play a little game of grab-ass with me.

[Which, by admitting this, he’s showing his own cards a little.

Sometimes he’s so desperate to be touched, he’ll take anything.]

That’s it.

[bobbob]

[ Still, describing a weight-lifting tool as a gloryhole is crazy actually.

But anyway. Robert feels a little triumphant, for absolutely no reason, that it seems he won't have to harass some random dude into stepping off his man (his man? God, that's so— he doesn't know what it is or if he can even say that at this point!!! Jesus Christ).

What he's not expecting is for Flambae to turn into Chad, and for Chad to look— just for a moment— a bit small. In fact, the dispatcher thinks twice before making some silly comment as soon as the other man moves forward. He has a private, quiet little smile to himself for a few seconds before he leans into it, putting his arms around Flambae. This is absolutely hurting his heart, but not in the way it normally hurts. Is this just ... affection? Different than the kind he has for Beef or Chase, but a whole lot of caring is going on right now. ]

Cancel, then.

[ His voice is pretty even and low every day unless he's in emotional or physical turmoil, but he keeps it warm and soft between them. ]

I'll grab your ass for you plenty of times on Sunday instead.

[ No need to get some guy with toupee pubes to do it. And yes, the words are a little joking, but what Robert means between the lines is that he's serious about this. And, to emphasize with a light kiss against that frustratingly gorgeous hair, he's more than happy to keep on touching Flambae (or Chad or both). ]

[incinerhater]

[For whatever reason, Flambae hadn’t expected Robert to return the embrace, nor could he possibly anticipate the way it makes him feel an emotion so deeply visceral, it sends him all the way back to a moment in his miserable and deeply isolating childhood that even he’s largely blacked out. His first real hug from another young man, someone whose name Flambae has not forgotten despite repressing the memory entirely, after one too many humiliating schoolyard outbursts. This is a pattern that has continued well into his adulthood hasn’t it, shouting and singeing anything and anyone who he sees as a threat, and then fleeing due to the catastrophic combination of self-hatred and shame that comes from the immediate remorse he experiences afterwards.

Robert was supposed to stand there limply with his (not so) noodley arms dangling in the air, or say something cheeky and borderline hurtful, not remind him of the first time he’d ever really been comforted by someone who wasn’t his fucking family member. It was the first fire of passion that he had ever felt, that one tinged with not just the desire to touch and be touched, but a quiver of something so much more integral to the very essence of being alive.

The need for human connection.

He had, for so long, settled on just being Robert’s adversary. Whether he was MechaMan or their straitlaced, by-the-books dispatcher, because it was the highest rung of significance he thought he could reach with him. Worst of all he was always well aware of Robert’s warmth in either form as well, whether it took the form of a firm but kind-hearted mentor or a flesh and blood hero pushing back in the fray, it just…

Didn’t seem like he’d ever be worthy of it. It still doesn’t.

The kiss to the hair is the last straw, he’s been needily clinging to the man for dear life for seconds that don’t nearly feel long enough, but suddenly lets go with a haste that seems wildly unnecessary.

That is, until he’s flinging his underwear behind him, probably so quickly that it’s likely to smack Robert square in the face to be honest, and the smell of burnt bathmat and an entire man being engulfed in flame quickly fills the room. There goes the sound of the shower curtain quickly being opened and closed as the water is turned on at full blast, and it’s apparent from both his shadow and the spout of steam that slowly lowers in origin that he has sunk down into a fetal position in the bathtub. He continues running the water until the last spindle of smoke slowly fizzles out.

Also, for reference, his smoke detector is fucking broken. He’s broken it by setting it off one too many times, and also… Fire he knows he can survive, the inconsiderate bastard.

Although the faucet is eventually turned off, he sits there in quiet embarrassment, huddled behind the curtain, naked and furious. How dare Robert be so nice about his hair!!!! After calling his ponytail greasy and saying all that shit about a touch from it being life-ending… AND getting noodles in it?!?!?!

He slumps further into fetal position. He has ruined things incorrigibly by being a stupid loveless piece of shit and probably scared the fucking dog!]

[bobbob]

[ Everything in those few moments happens so fast, Robert almost might have wondered if he'd lost his mind. Suddenly there is a pair of Calvin Kleins in his face and the temperature of the room has gone up exponentially, the shower is running, the curtain is being shoved-! Beef gets so startled that he farts as he leaps up from his spot next to Flambae and trots hardily out of the room (eventually to circle back in curiously).

Blinking through his confusion, Robert casually drops the underwear aside and looks to the drawn curtain of the shower. He waits until the water is off again and takes up a towel. Carefully he comes forward on his knees in front of the tub and pulls the curtain aside to look at Flambae.

He has begun to see that there are a lot of hidden aspects of the former villain that he has no idea about, but this is on a different level he thinks. There was nothing about his actions he can think of that he could have expected this sort of reaction from. Surely Flambae has never felt overwhelmed by attention. But maybe he's wrong. Or maybe there's a lot of feelings the man has been holding onto and thinking or obsessing about or puzzling through and Robert simply hasn't even scratched the surface. Honestly, he'd understand that. He's got a lot of feelings like that too, not all of them involving what feels like an entire semi-truck of emotions he has for Flambae specifically. ]

Hey, Chad.

[ He offers softly. Maybe it would be easier to be sarcastic or say something smarmy or even poke fun, but Robert doesn't want to. He wants Flambae to know how serious he is, and that his concern here is genuine. If there's going to be a fire every time he's soft with him, they need to figure that out.

Gently he holds the towel out. ]

Are you alright?

[ He doesn't think he did anything wrong per se, but he'd certainly want to know if a line was crossed. Or if he should approach things differently.

In a way it's nice though, since they're clearly learning some things together rather than feeling blindly all alone. Robert didn't know he needed that before, but he does now. ]

Did I do something?

[incinerhater]

[So much of the attention he receives is superficial or asinine, often given because the person on the other end can’t resist the insane proportions that Flambae seemingly always has on display. Tonight has pretty much confirmed that Robert too is not necessarily resistant to those charms, but he certainly seems fond of at least entertaining the idea of something more serious.

Flambae’s powers are closely linked to his pride, and losing control of them was yet another humiliating scene Robert has witnessed involving the both of them…

Hastily, he opens the shower curtain, his dark hair fully damp and sticking to his shoulders. Honestly, the sheen from the water and wetness somehow make his chest hair more prominent.

He takes the towel first.]

Quick! Say something that will piss the everloving shit out of me.

[look at him trying to be scary]

Also, am I really being pitied by a mongrel named after meat right now? Fuck, man, fuck my life.

[bobbob]

[ His proportions are indeed insane but honestly it wasn't even those that first caught Robert's attention. Not in a romantically inclined sort of way. Somehow it was his personality. Like the little glimpses of who he is when he's not being a raging asshole. Unfortunately, Robert really likes that person. Some part of him enjoys the asshole too but that's because he's a little bit of a freak himself sometimes.

He smiles once Flambae emerges but lifts a brow at the request. ]

No.

[ Because why the fuck would he do that?

If Flambae lets him, he reaches for the towel again so he can unfold it and help him dry off a bit. At least drape it around him and his dripping hair. And no he is not paying attention to the sheen of the chest hair or anything that could even potentially be horny at the moment. ]

Beef's not pitying you, he's worried. So am I. Are you going to do this every time I, what, kiss you? Put my arms around you?

[ He's not entirely sure what triggered the fire, if he's being honest. But he will get to the bottom of it. ]

[incinerhater]

[ofc the first thing he will do is protest]

No!

[The way that Robert drapes the towel over him makes his chest feel so damn tight. Not only will he allow for it, but it seems that no matter what he says with his mouth or his face, his body craves the comfort.

It’s only now, when he feels the bluster of his own heart palpitating at an unacceptably high rate, that he realizes Robert had addressed him tenderly by name, by his real name.

It sounds like so much less of a joke when Robert says it.

Instead of doing anything remotely normal, he lets out a frustrated growl and… With a wet (but full-fingered) hand, attempts to pull Robert close enough so he can bury his face into the dispatcher’s uninjured shoulder. He lies there for a few seconds, recouping, although he does eventually turn his head up to say:]

Wow.

This shoulder of yours… It is prime real estate for moping, holy shit!

[bobbob]

[ Since he's allowed, he drapes the towel and gently pats Flambae, trying to get some of the water. And also be comforting, even if he's a little confused as to whether that is actually wanted or not. The attempt only stops when he's pulled in again. Last time this happened, there was fire, so he's not entirely sure what to do this time.

It's a little frustrating to him too. But it's also endearing to see the hotheaded Flambae in such a state. He's not all that sorry for thinking that. ]

Okay, why are we moping? I'm confused.

[ Answers, he needs answers. So he can fix this! That is what Robert and Mecha Man both do, they fix things.

Now that the mild surprise of being pulled in again has worn off, he resumes helping Flambae dry off. It's the least they can do, get him dry and pretty again so he can put his underoos back on. ]

At least come back out of the shower. Please?

[incinerhater]

You are really going to make me spell it out for you?

[Flambae can feel one of Robert's scars beneath his stubble. Scars and freckles, huh. Fuck. It really is an unforgettable combination, and even texture-wise, pretty unique.]

Humiliation, duh!

Ugggh...

[He twists his head a little, relishing every pat of the towel, even closing his eyes for a moment.

This is so fucking nice.

He'll need to steel himself for the honesty that will come next.]

This shit hasn't happened to me since middle school, okay? It's like getting an accidental boner in gym! Only even worse because of all of the... Eh, sappy sentimental nonsense.

[He snorts.]

You did not do anything wrong.

It has just... Been some time since anyone has really cared like that.

For me. I'll... I'll come back out, I just...

Need a minute. Or...

[What number should he choose-]

Three.

[He still needs to examine the last little scratch.]

[bobbob]

[ Apparently, yes, he needs it spelled out. There are too many mixed signals going on here. But Flambae is more or less already answering before Robert can say anything of the sort.

Humiliation. Robert's hand slows a bit with the patting as he processes that. Generally that's not a good state to be in (unless you're into that), and he doesn't want Flambae to be there because of him. At least, not anymore. Sappy and sentimental, well, he has to admit he's not so great with that either. But when he does care, he cares a lot. And he tries hard, like he's doing right now.

What's surprising to him is Flambae's vulnerability about it. He just comes off as so confident and assured of himself and his place in the world. ]

You're kidding.

[ Though really, even as he says that, he can kind of see it. Flambae was a villain before. He wouldn't even stop to talk to Robert once the building was cleared and he had nowhere else to go, nothing else to burn. Even when the Z-team is getting all riled up about things, he's often quiet comparatively. There are little signs of it here and there that the dispatcher just hasn't picked up on because they weren't ... well. They weren't like this before. ]

I get it. It's ... pretty embarrassing, yeah.

[ He huffs softly, looking away for a moment as he smiles and gives Flambae one more pat before he stands and steps back to give the man some room. He tips his thumb back toward the door. ]

I'll just be in there, then.

[ So he turns to exit the room with the intention of letting Flambae ... simmer down. Or whatever he needs to do. Robert will just maybe get a little more dressed and sit on the edge of the bed and wait, with Beef happily following once he gives one last sniff in Flambae's direction. ]

[incinerhater]

[Robert turns to leave and the room feels unbearably cold, so much so that Flambae hops out of the shower, stopping mid-way when he catches himself in the act.

The burly arm that was extended in front of him drops, slowly, as he catches a reflection of himself in the mirror. He looks frazzled with his hair down and in disarray like this, and for whatever reason, all of his imperfections seem more noticeable. He shuts his mouth, spotting the gap in his teeth, then pausing to straighten his ridiculous posture. Prism has always said that when he looms forward running after a raggedy-ass man, Flambae tends to look his worst.

What saves the image he's seeing now is the towel that's been so lovingly draped around him, which he runs both hands over, upwards from the chest and over his shoulders. He only does it after a long pause, but eventually, Flambae takes the right side and gently begins dabbing at the corresponding side of his face.

This is the time of night he usually shaves, even though when he wakes up in the morning it's always back again. Flambae isn't quite as confident in his face without the five o'clock shadow. Sure, he's always had those high as all hell, chiseled cheekbones, but his face is quite long, and a little thin, if he's really giving in to the worst of his inner critic.

Still, he opens one of his drawers and pulls out a razor, and when he exits the bathroom back in those stupid Calvin Kleins, literally the worst pair available, he pounces back onto the bed next to Robert.]

You missed me.

[The words are delivered in that insufferable, sing-songy tone, and we all know how terrible of a singer he is. Also, combined with the comical up-and-down waggle of his furry brows, Flambae really just looks ridiculous.]

Sorry.

This time, I really wasn't trying to incinerate you.

At least not on purpose.

[Should he? Flambae studies Robert's face a bit, wondering if this is a good time. After thinking over it for a brief few seconds, he leans in to give Robert a loud peck on the cheek. That is the only time tonight that Flambae's face feels that smooth, and without the beard, it's even more evident just how angular it is.]

Are you sure you don't want me to get at that last one for you?

[The injury. It's the least red of the three.

He'll also snake an arm around Robert's waist, tapping the skin above the wound that isn't un-punctured with a finger.]

You can hold onto me now, if you wish.

[meaning: he's back to normal now, kind of

He reaches with his other hand to ruffle Robert's hair, only the ruffling devolves into something like... gentle petting i am almost too scared to type this]

I like that you can be such a fucking softie, sometimes.

[For once, he means this positively. It shows with the affection that's in his voice.]

It's cute.

[And from the way that Flambae darts his eyes away in this moment, clearly something he has not had all that much experience with either.]

[bobbob]

[ For the most part, Robert just sits around in Flambae's bedroom contemplating his life choices. It's taking more than a minute and he hopes that the fireball isn't really going through it in there. Beef keeps pawing at the bed, wanting up there, but he has to tell him more than once that they have to wait until they know it's okay. The sheets are white and everything you know? Even if there's like ... probably some bodily fluids on them now anyway.

When Flambae does emerge from the bathroom and hops onto the bed, Robert has to do a double take. His perpetual five o'clock shadow...it's just gone. It's possible for it to be gone? You know that meme gif of the white guy blinking? That's Robert Robertson III right now. ]

You shaved.

[ He says that in genuine surprise. Like it's a marvel and a wonder.

But the kiss on the cheek and arm around his waist takes him back down a little closer to earth. He smiles gently. Yes, gently, and he means it too. ]

I'm really fine, you know. Doesn't even hurt.

[ But it's so, so sweet that Flambae worries about it he almost can't believe it's happening. If pressed, he wouldn't argue much either way. He turns himself on the mattress to better face the man and his terrible Calvin Kleins (should he tell him they're atrocious? Maybe he shouldn't tell him).

Gentle petting is also taking me out a bit, but Robert likes it. It's soothing and warm, kind of like the rest of Flambae at the moment. Has he always just been this warm naturally and the dispatcher paid no attention? Or had they just not ever been this close very often... ]

I'm not a fucking softie.

[ He says this as he somewhat cautiously puts his own arms around the man, slumping up against him with his cheek against a bosom that has no right to be so pillowy. His expression is now more or less out of Flambae's view, but his ears sure have turned red. It's being called a softie, and being called cute. What does he do with this information!! ]

I just, um, you know. This is comfortable.

[ The bed, the body, whatever. Robert doesn't really get that many chances to cuddle. He just hopes that he isn't about to be embracing another fireball. ]

[incinerhater]

Yes, yes.

[He braces himself for what could be otherwise hilarious commentary, you know, if it hadn’t been specifically crafted to bruise his already fragile ego… Always infuriating, but re-contextualized? Maybe a little flirtatious.]

That is because if I don’t not groom myself properly, I will end up looking like Chewie, tall and covered in hair.

[pronounced in the accent like

Chee-oo-whee]

You know Chewie? From the Star Wars!

[And then he proceeds to do his best Chewbacca(sp?) impression, which is more seal bark than alien.

The truth is, Flambae has done everything possible to be close to Robert, only thus far, it’s always been to serve as an intimidation tactic. He’s flaunted his size and the heat of his flames in close proximity to Robert, even going as far as flinging his entire flaming body at the metal suit in hopes that he could somehow burn right through it.

Flambae wonders, silently, if that’s what he’s doing now. He senses Robert’s hesitation, hating himself for being so fucking sensitive. It’s so good to hold him, finally, and there’s a weird sort or eroticism that comes with holding him so closely.]

See? This is what having a bed feels like, BobBob.

[Or a boyfriend, but he doesn’t say that.]

But honestly, what’s more comfortable? The mattress, or me?

And… If you don’t like me calling you soft, then…

[Robert is short enough for Flambae to get close and press his nose into his hair.]

What else am I supposed to say to you, huh?

[He can feel Robert’s face getting warmer- Is that his own fault, or is the former hero blushing?]

[bobbob]

[ The former hero is blushing and it's Flambae's fault, how is that?

But the Chewie comment, complete with the absolutely awful impression, makes Robert burst out laughing. Of all the strange fucking things to say, and also just imagining coming to work with a wookkie in place of Flambae is too much. He laughs a good moment longer and then breathes out slowly. ]

Uh-huh. Okay.

[ He'll just take his word for it. ]

And no shit. You don't say?

[ who could have thought that this is what it's like to have a bed? Robert certainly hasn't had one in his whole entire life. But the teasing is gentle and he still seems to be quite glued to Flambae's chest and content not to move from it, which is as good a sign as any. Maybe the question of what's better is just fishing for an ego stroke or something but at this point Robert doesn't really care. He can give a win or two to Chad. ]

You are, because it's warm.

[ Might suck in the summertime, but they can get there when they get there. Imagine if they get there? That makes Robert's stomach do that dipping thing again. And the nestle against his hair is enough to get him to close his eyes. It feels so peaceful, and he doesn't think about how fucked up it is that he can't remember the last time he's felt that like this. ]

I don't know. Just don't say it at work. They'll eat me alive.

[incinerhater]

[Ah.

So he likes Star Wars.

Flambae will remember that.]

I won’t.

[Robert’s laugh sounds nothing like the angelic musical stylings of Whitney or Mariah, but even so, it’s music to his ears. He’s never really had the chance to make him laugh in private until tonight, and he wonders briefly if Robert is coddling him.

Is he really a more appealing option than the bed? Maybe he should consider conditioning his chest hair, just so it doesn’t feel as scratchy…

Flambae would be quick to chime in about the Z-team, how they will absolutely have their asses incinerated with backtalk as soon as they Realize (and Coupe is intelligent), although he decides there is something more important to say first.]

But I will not hide my feelings for you, either.

[He doesn’t move, keeping much of his face in Robert’s hair.]

I do not want to make you that guy.

I have been that guy!

[Flambae has never been in the closet himself, not technically, but some of his first partners-]

It’s fucking horrible.

[Romantic relationships are personal business, yes.

But they shouldn’t be secrets. Not the serious ones, or at least, not in the situation they’re in now.]

[bobbob]

[ Star Wars is probably something he could have bonded with his dad over but didn't because his dad was married to the job and also not the nicest guy around.

Anyway, the chest hair doesn't really bother him, but this is also a man who sleeps regularly in a plastic chair. It's more that Flambae's warmth and just the very idea of lying against him and touching him like this is comfortable and nice. A bed can be any old bed (even if it's a chair, apparently).

Robert lifts his head slightly, carefully so he doesn't bonk Flambae in the nose and cause yet another part of him to bleed. ]

You sure?

[ They both know they will get a lot of shit from the Z-Team. HR will probably get involved, though for once it's more of a positive thing and not that someone is talking about their botched circumcision or touching inappropriately or spying on Robert in the locker room.

He's not asking that because he's ashamed or wants to hide it or anything. Everyone already finds every possible thing they can to make fun of him for. It just seems important to make sure Flambae knows what they're headed into. Then again he probably knows the team a little better than Robert at this point still. ]

That's fine with me.

[ he rests his cheek back down against that obnoxiously large and comfortable chest. ]

We just, you know, work with a bunch of assholes.

[ They're his bunch of assholes, but the point stands.

Part of him is optimistic also that they'd want Robert (and Chad) to be happy too. And this makes him happy. ]

[incinerhater]

We do.

[This is said with such a reluctant air. Boy, does he fucking know it! He is just praying that Prism will have enough ammo to make... All the backtalk somewhat tolerable.]

And if we weren't the subject of their bullshitty bullshitting-

[He takes a deep breath.]

I'm sure at least some of it would be hilarious.

But, the others, they get to-

[His voice peters out on this one. He's been quick to challenge Robert or pipe up when he feels particularly slighted, but Flambae has in his own mind done his best to stay in his lane. He hangs out with Coupe and Punch sometimes, appreciating both for their skill, but them being "broken up" is total bullshit. Malevola and Sonar have a weird friends but... With some kind of bizarre benefits thing going on?! And Invisigal has been flirting with Robert constantly.]

Ugh.

It's nothing.

Forget I said anything.

[i wanted to wax more poetic about how cute robert is being and how nice it is for flambae to hold him but ig that will be the next tag]

I am talking out of my fucking miracle of an ass again.