CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

IT IS NOT EVEN THAT SHORT????

[bobbob]

[ By now, Robert at least knows that Flambae does have these moments where he isn't so talkative. Sometimes he even tends to stay in the background while the rest of the Z-team blabbers and banters away. He assumes that this is just all part of that, and he doesn't mind it. He is indeed a pretty physical communicator himself. He's not so bad with his words when he tries, but he largely stopped trying in his adult life. So this is nice.

Having Flambae adjust himself to look more appealing just makes Robert break into a smile, rolling his eyes up briefly. Totally unnecessary to do when he very obviously at this point likes what he sees. But it's fine. ]

I think it was more fun to imagine, actually.

[ He quips casually, smoothing a little more of that healing ointment on the scrapes over Flambae's chest. Normally he might be getting that giddy, horny teenager kind of feeling for touching his nearly naked man like this, but he is actually really focused on helping him get cleaned up and treated. He'd rather Flambae be comfortable and clean and in minimal pain before he gets any ideas of ravishing him or seeing how much pressure that tiny g-string can take before it just pops off when Flambae gets excited.

But there is room for a couple of gentle kisses against a shoulder or even down against the top of that yaoi hand that's come over his. ]

I've got a bit of practice, yeah.

[ The side of his mouth is tilting in a sort of amused smirk. ]

I will if you let me.

[ Though arguably it would just be best if they kept the injuries to a minimum. That's pretty rich coming from someone like Robert who is definitely going to get scuffed up probably several times still this week, but you know. He rather himself than anyone he cares about. ]

[incinerhater]

[Imagine?

Flambae’s fiery eyes perk up at that. If they weren’t in the midst of something fairly serious, he’d probe as to whether Robert just assumed he went commando under there, which would imply that maybe, just maybe, the mental image had come up in a fantasy.

A part of Flambae wonders, while he is kissed gently, how on Earth Robert has any compassion left for others after what can probably be described as a harrowing existence with little to no personal reward. Maybe it’s better that the dispatcher hasn’t had his way with half of the superpowered population of Los Angeles, because for some reason he seems to be oddly free of some of the hangups that come with dating in a digital era. Even the way Robert mentions that he’s had practice patching himself up sounds nightmarish. In the time since they ran into each other at the bar, hasn’t Robert been to the hospital multiple times? Flambae has lost a tooth and a few fingers, but he’s hardly blacked out and woken up in a strange hospital room on multiple occasions, healing factor and all that. Then again, it also means he is all the more likely to dismiss something serious.

Robert had asked to talk, specifically, so Flambae steels himself. He may be doing his best to tone it down, but there is no denying that he is a difficult person.]

I think I’d like it if you could, but you are so…

Busted up! Already.

[The barb is delivered with an air of whimsy and fondness, meant to be a joke.]

Are you sure that’s something you want?

[bobbob]

[ Yes, he was indeed simply imagining that Flambae was commando under that suit of his, and yes he fully intended to plant that thought right into Flambae's mind so he could ponder over it but not necessarily ask in the moment. It was his diabolical plan all along.

If anything, being active in the superhero dating pool might have made Robert more jaded or even more isolated than he already has been. The heroes would lose their luster, or he'd just constantly be reminded that he's not one of them, not really, despite the number of heroic deeds he and his father and grandfather have all achieved.

This is better. Somehow.

Just like he definitely thinks it's better that he's here to help Flambae so that he isn't just waking up in a lonely hospital room with very little idea of how long he'd been there or even how he'd gotten there. Granted, that would probably never happen to someone who's superpowered and has healing abilities!! But the sentiment is there.

He huffs in soft amusement. ]

Yeah, you're just going to have to get used to that.

[ Because they just seem to be a permanent fixture on Robert, all the bruises and scrapes. Like seriously why does he just have scars that are bruises.

Though at the moment he is also wording things lightly, like a joke. Until he has to answer the question of course. He's very serious about that. ]

Taking care of this is something I know I can do for you. So, yes. I want it.

[incinerhater]

[Yes, he will definitely just Not Wear Underwear on a day Robert is staying over after work, which is looking like it's going to be often.

Flambae winces, although the discomfort isn't necessarily because he finds the idea of Robert tending to his wounds repulsive. Quite the opposite, really. He's always consistently yapping about all the things he excels at, it's easy to assume that he thinks he's just good at everything, and while that's definitely the image he shows off to the world, it's far from the truth. Whenever he felt he wasn't looking his best or lost in a fight, he'd make himself disappear. And even if the guys he was dating tried to find him, Flambae would do everything in his fiery power to dodge them.

In a way, even him silently hoping that Robert would show up is progress.

His gaze darts to the side at first, his mouth twisting as he bites his lower lip, wondering if he should even say what's on his mind. It'd make his life look miserable, but hey, Robert isn't a exactly stranger to misery.]

I am not exactly used to it, either.

[He rubs the back of his neck with the three-fingered hand.

Robert did say he wanted to really talk...]

You're not afraid of me?

[For once, this isn't uttered as some kind of egotistical point about how strong he is.]

I did almost try to kill you, but... T-that was one time, and I...

[Oof. Should he explain his real feelings about this?

They're complicated.]

[bobbob]

[ But now Robert will be expecting the stringy g-string, so... touché.

Before today, he'd had no idea that Flambae had these moments of being upset when he's not good at something, but now he'll definitely have it in mind. Maybe even keep an eye out for it. Of course he doesn't want to crowd the man or do anything unwelcome, but it's nice to have learned something new about him. It's nice that he can still help.

As he wipes some ointment off on one of the cloths he brought, he raises a brow slightly at the question. Afraid isn't really a word he would have assigned to Flambae, even back then. Not to say that he wasn't at all worried while they were facing off in the burning building, but the only thing he regrets about deciding to do that is that it ended the way it did.

He was hoping for a more peaceful resolution. ]

I literally spent the night in your arms, why would I be afraid of you?

[ He does like it when they can occasionally talk things out seriously, but he also can't help the little sarcastic quips of his own.

He continues though, searching the flames of those eyes for all their secrets. Of course he knows he isn't about to find them all at once either. But it's just like he told Visi, the past is the past, a villain doing villain shit doesn't surprise nor offend Robert on a personal level. ]

Yes, you were a villain and I was a hero. I tried to stop you. I don't hold that fight against you.

[ Especially not since he both cut Flambae's fingers off rather permanently, and got him into jail. The former is something that Flambae gets to remember for the rest of his life, and Robert is sorry for that. His own fingers seek out that maimed hand that's hiding against the back of the man's neck.

If he's afraid of anything, it's these whatever these feelings are, and even moreso that he might fuck it all up. But they already agreed they were going to figure things out together, see how it goes.

Flambae looked like he had something more to say though, so Robert kind of looks at him expectantly and pauses. ]

[incinerhater]

[When Robert mentions spending the night in Flambae's arms, a genuine smile snakes it's way onto that hairy face, softening all of its sharp edges for a moment. Thats right, the freckle-faced idiot did spend the night in his kind of scarily long arms, and in the moments where Flambae had drifted in and out of sleep, he'd certainly paused to take a look.

As a child, he remembered that one night, one of the stay cats their father used to feed from Herat had taken shelter in their doorway during the storm. Its matted, dirty fur was completely soaked, and it had been screaming and pawing at the door for so long, Flambae's father took pity on it and let it in. The firestarter remembers quite vividly how all the tension in its body was released once it had finally fallen asleep, and he couldn't help but recognize the same behavior in Robert, too.

Flambae had always gotten shit from his family for not being enough like his father. The two of them certainly shared a lack of impulse control and a dangerous brand of recklessness, but the latter had always been jolly and extroverted. Good with people, and easy going in the way that's contagious.

In a way, at the ripe old age of 36, he thinks he is beginning to understand the man a little better. Both of them, actually. Like he had mentioned over past dispatches, helping people is fun.

When Robert takes his hand, he allows for it to be drawn from his neck, staring at their interwoven fingers absent-mindedly. Flambae is missing a few, certainly, he's grown accustomed to the sight of it, but it is weird to confront that reality now, especially across from the man who had them removed.

There's a lot more that he wants to say, but he'll start with:]

You cut off my ring finger, Robert.

[Somehow, the words are not as angry as they usually are.]

I know you weren't fucking thinking about it... But I did.

[bobbob]

[ That smile could probably melt a small iceberg, which is weirdly on point for a fire starting hero? Robert is glad to see it though, and he tucks the memory away for later.

He'd almost returned with a smile of his own, but the next spoken words are enough to humble him. Their fingers lace together, and his eyes drop down to the ones of Flambae's that don't reach all the way. The words, paired with his good christian name of Robert, have him looking suitably chastised. That's only the least of what he deserves, of course. Even if the words don't come out all that angry, the guilt fills in him like a cup overflowing. ]

Of course I thought about it. I mean, I didn't mean to do that, but I still fucking think about it.

[ A lot more often than most people realize, especially the man whose fingers they were.

Robert looks pained, but it's only because he knows just saying sorry ten million times means jack shit. And even saying he's thought about it doesn't compare to Flambae's situation, where he sees it every day, where he sat in a prison cell while it healed and probably stewed on it, he doesn't know. Shit, he doesn't know anything at all. ]

You don't ... hate me for it, though.

[ Otherwise they wouldn't be holding hands. They wouldn't kiss, they probably wouldn't even banter the way that they do. Yeah, their reunion was really rocky (especially since Robert really did emphasize not even remembering the former villain. Yikes), but where they are now, that's not two mortal foes just seeing white hot rage every time they're in the other's presence. ]

[incinerhater]

[He shakes his head side to side rather quickly, noting just how dejected Robert looks and clocking himself how strange it is to feel so damn bad about it. He doesn't let go of Robert's hand, but he does reach over with his other free one, gently rubbing it over the other man's thigh. The gesture isn't meant to be a sexual advance, it's more of something intimate, something clearly indicating that they're more than friends with the sort of affection it signifies.]

No! I hated you for not remembering me.

[Past tense. Clearly, he likes Robert quite a lot.

Even if he tried so terribly hard to hide it for so long.]

And I hated you for throwing me in jail. Because it meant that I lost, and that it was me who fucked the fuck up.

[His brows furrow, and Flambae continues to watch Robert carefully. He doesn't want him getting too upset.

How strange, having empathy for the kind of people who would celebrate your demise- Or dunk on you for being stupid enough to do good with no superpowers in the first place.]

You know, the first guy I kissed almost broke my nose?

Before, I mean.

[Before they kissed.]

We got into a fight, and it was weird, because he was touching me a lot. Like, yeah! He was hitting me too, but...

I dunno.

[It is a little uncomfortable to discuss, especially for certain people who might not understand.

Oddly enough, he has a slight inkling that Robert just might.]

Men can be so stupid when it comes to love.

[Unfortunately for Flambae they are the only ones he's ever wanted.]

They're like cavemen, hitting each other over the head with their clubs! Until they realize they could be slapping each other with their dicks instead.

[Flambae scoffs.]

I guess I thought because you motherfucking maimed me, that I was special!

[His delivery gets a bit more joke-y there. As much as he hates poking fun at himself, it is funny.]

Then I saw you slinging body parts at Sardines and I put two and two together.

You're just a freak! And that wild, crazy shit had nothing to do with me.

It stung. And stunk, woo... Pee-yew.

[bobbob]

[ Robert winces a little, but not because of anything Flambae said or is doing. He'd known it would rub his former adversary the wrong way. Whether he actually remembered him is another thing, but at the time, Mecha Man had just wanted to stick a barb in the guy and he sure succeeded.

But he goes quiet for a bit then to let Flambae continue talking. At first he wonders what the hell some other guy he'd kissed has to do with anything, but it sort of comes to light.

Bit by bit.

Piece by piece. ]

Oh ...

[ Robert lets his gaze drift from the other man's sharp features to the hand on his thigh (it's nice), back up to those eyebrows and those shockingly soft lips hiding the gap in his teeth which is also Robert's fault. ]

Okay, first of all, if I didn't do that at the Sardine, I'd be the one in pieces.

[ It was purely self defense in a very tight situation, he didn't have time to think about it or consider that he has, in fact, a track record of taking fingers.

Robert huffs a little, partly in amusement that he can't believe this is his life. Partly exasperated because he can't believe this is his life.

The thing is, he does in fact understand what Flambae is discussing. Even if it wasn't in a sexual sort of way, his adrenaline was pumping during their meeting. The tension wasn't lost on him either. It was the build up of it all that probably led to him hurting Flambae the way that he did, when he wasn't planning to originally.

It's fucked up. But yeah... he gets it. ]

Secondly, I'm not a freak. I just feel like I have an obligation to defend myself there.

[ . Anyway- ]

Lastly... you're special because I was trying to talk to you that time. I didn't have to go into that building after you, but I did. I'd do it again.

[ Perhaps, more importantly, and he offers the very slightest of smiles here. He doesn't even know if this will make Flambae feel better at all, but he's taking the shot. Ever since he and Flambae started working together, he'd looked at his hand, those missing fingers, he'd had flashbacks of that night, felt regrets, wanted to say something. That lizard freak? He'd forgotten he even did something like that at the Sardine at all. That whole night is a weird, violent, taco-flavored blur. ]

I don't ever think about that guy's fingers the way I think about yours.

cw: violent imagery, fingore

[incinerhater]

Okay, see... That right there? That means you're freaky!

[It does make him feel better.

The smile is back.]

What are you thinking about them for? What are you, like, imagining the two dismembered things getting up off the floor and doing a strangely coordinated dance?

[ok tim burton what the fuck]

If they started doing the can-can, would the knees be the little-

[He lets go of Robert's thigh only to bend his index finger, wiggling the the part that is bent. Look, English is not my first language either.]

This thing?

[Flambae does recall that Robert wanted to talk. For once, he hadn't, for multiple reasons. First of all, that's the oldest trick in the book to catch any wayward combatant off guard, and secondly, Flambae hadn't really been interested in talking.

There were other things he would have preferred they did with their mouths.]

Right, right.

You fight dirty to stay alive! That makes sense.

[Then, perhaps a little too casually:]

Have you always wanted to?

[Stay alive, he means.]

[bobbob]

[ Robert laughs at that, waving his free hand. ]

Maybe a little.

[ But if Flambae likes that kind of freak, then he's okay with that.

Unfortunately he also apparently likes a freak because what on earth is this maybe Spanish Afghan man going on about? Flambae gets the longest, dullest, driest look Robert can muster. ]

How do you think of these things?

[ Like is this what his brain is full of because it's missing out on intellect? This could be studied by science, actually. There could be a huge breakthrough going on here.

It's also very convenient to not just... tell Flambae that when he's thinking about them, he's thinking how guilty he feels. Before the Z-team knew he was Mecha Man, he'd been thinking about how terrifying it would be if Flambae specifically found out, how he'd burn Robert to a crisp and he didn't want to die that way but he might deserve it —

So yeah, moving right along. ]

If I'm up against a guy like that, yeah I fight dirty to stay alive.

[ Shrug.

The question though takes him off guard a little. He'd tried not to bring up the heavy topic of guilt and here Flambae is asking him about an even heavier topic. This one though, this one feels like it warrants an answer. ]

Honestly? My grandfather died in the suit- never met the guy. My dad died for the suit. I knew at some point I was just going to die as Mecha Man too. 'When', not 'if'.

[ So no, he didn't particularly care all the time if he was going to stay alive. It may have been a mercy if he'd meet his end sooner rather than later. ]

It wasn't until the suit broke and I came to SDN that I ... figured out that I had more options than that. That I wanted those options.

[ His smile is a little sad, a little apologetic. He's not sure if he's just ruined the mood himself this time. ]

Sorry. I've only told Beef things like that before.

cw: mentions if suicidal ideation

[incinerhater]

I think I watched too many foreign cartoons as a kid.

Some of them were pretty vibe-y! But also very violent.

[He does like that kind of freak, unfortunately. It's a better indicator as to whether or not they'd be compatible in the long run.

The truth is, Flambae is glad he didn't kill Robert. He wasn't even considering the outcome of his behavior, he was just so livid, he threw everything he had at him, only to pathetically blast off and away after embarrassing himself in front of his (mostly) new friends. The entire shift he took off, he was torn between still feeling pissed and downright horrible. If he had ended up killing Robert, not only would he have surely spent the rest of his life back in prison, the world would have lost an irreplaceable hero, and he would have lost-]

No need to be sorry.

[He shrugs, although he moves to comfort Robert again. The hand that he used for his gruesome little demonstration urges the dispatcher's chin upwards if Robert lets it, mostly so that Flambae can look him in the eyes directly.]

I am the one who asked.

So! You didn't necessarily not want to be alive, but... Staying here-

[In the world of the living.]

Wasn't necessarily a priority.

[He nods. Flambae isn't one to shy away from serious topics when he feels they are important, especially for context. Plus, if things get even more serious, he's going to need to know what is most likely to send Robert spiraling. How else will Flambae be able to help?]

I haven't always wanted to be here.

I do now. More than ever! But...

I was wondering, if in that sense, I could understand you.

[He tilts his head to the side.]

If it wasn't for work, what with the way you've clearly neglected yourself...

I'm not entirely sure you would be here to play nurse with me.

[bobbob]

Yeah, that would do it.

[ A lot of cartoons from when these millennials were kids were, in fact, incredibly violent and weird.

Robert lets Flambae tilt his chin up, meeting his eyes. He's still for a moment, and then ducks his gaze behind his lashes for a second. ]

Right.

[ When he looks again, his brows furrow and there's a certain weight of sadness that's settled on him. He's sad for them both, that they've had to feel this way. But he's also glad that Flambae wants to be here now, and that he himself wants to be here. Right now? Here specifically, on Flambae's bed in his neat apartment together even if he is wearing really tiny underwear. They can help each other by sticking around the living world together. ]

If it wasn't for work... yeah. I don't think I would be.

[ Another little smile lifts up on his features. A bit fuller this time. ]

But I am. So Nurse Robert it is.

[incinerhater]

[The second Robert's face falls, the hand that was beneath his chin goes immediately to his cheek, a thumb rubbing over the side of it in repeated, gentle strokes. Every time the former supervillain is reminded that Robert has gone these past few years almost entirely alone, he's baffled. His own insane desire to rush to Robert's side and pick him up has to be universal to some degree, no?! What is wrong with people.

Flambae bites his inner lip, wondering if he should lighten the mood a little.so he intentionally leans close enough to peer over Robert's the fabric of Robert's collar and into the gap between the crisp cotton and... Skin. Is he trying to spot a nipple?! What the fuck is going on here, indeed-]

Speaking of nursing...

[don't look at his tits like that even if it is a joke]

You could use a little TLC yourself.

You've been kicked around so much over the years, you must be sore.

[Said somewhat ominously-]

I think I can fix that for you.

[bobbob]

[ On the reverse side, Robert is actually baffled that Flambae seems to be under the impression that he's hot shit as Mecha Man. The suit is plenty respected, sure, and he gets the occasional fanfare. But enough to be in the Superpowered's Top Bachelors/Sexiest Super of the Year running? ... Would that have been possible if he didn't just throw himself entirely into the work? They'll never know now.

And anyway, somehow he's happy just having the attention of one, flaming hot guy. ]

... What the hell are you doing?

[ He's watching this... peeking behavior and with the nursing comment that's just sooo much all once. Is this a kink of Flambae's and is this really how he's going to learn about it? No, that's too insane even for them. For anyone on the Z-team perhaps.

And why is he being ominous about it? Hello? ]

Now wait a minute, I'm supposed to be taking care of you right now.

[ He's the one who's actually injured! Mind you the dispatcher has done a pretty stellar job of patching Flambae up a little, and the healing factor is going to wipe away all evidence in just a few short hours. Still, he wants to make sure the former villain is squared away before he starts coming up with nefarious plans for Robert and TLC (for all he knows, a joke about the band is still coming). ]

First, how are you feeling?

[incinerhater]

[If they did know, there's a strong chance that murder would be one of the crimes listed on his rap sheet. He meets Robert's eyes with a catty, mildly bemused expression at first, like he's satisfied with the confusion he's caused.

For now, he'll leave the answer to that first question to Robert, his gaze and hands taking time to to slide down and around the wound that the former hero has just patched up, admiring his handiwork. Flambae can be rather careless when it comes to his own injuries. If he's wrapped them up, it's primarily been for vanity reasons, like keeping the blood from a nosebleed out of a vintage silk or to patch up his seemingly perfect face and body. The loss of his own fingers was perhaps the first permanent damage that he took seriously in any regard, and when left to his own devices, he would have fucked that shit up for himself majorly too... If the medics who had arrived on scene didn't take a peek at them first.

He looks back up at Robert, doing his best to stifle the warm, jittery feeling in his stomach. It's not often that others have been so concerned for his well-being, other than his family and close friends, of which there may only be the one we've seen thus far (Prism).]

Honestly? Kind of horny, you fucking scruuuuub.

[He chuckles, leaning inwards and onto Robert's right shoulder. There it is! The TLC joke.]

Haaaah.

[That sigh was exaggeratedly loud, but, anyway.]

Because of my fiery outburst, we didn't get to watch the Ring movie.

[Flambae, that is a different franchise entirely.]

Sorry.

I am feeling better now.

[The reason for it is simple. Grade-school adjacent, even.

Its because I know he likes me.]

Thank you.

[bobbob]

[ Robert meets that catty expression with suspicion. Seriously, what was that about!! He can't believe he's being left on read.

But wait, yes he can.

Honestly, he also gets a sort of jittery feeling in his stomach when Flambae moves on to other things, saying that he's horny. It's really dumb. But it makes him happy. He's contributing to this. Even if the TLC joke did in fact make its timely appearance. In a way, that just makes it better, since that is Flambae's little flair on things: wild pop culture jokes in the midst of already out of pocket sayings.

Despite this gooey feelings, he answers sarcastically and with a smile on his face. ]

Yeah, that's not anything new.

[ He brings his hand up to gently rest against Flambae's shoulder. It's really kind of sweet he's thinking about how they said they might watch a movie together. Even if he is confusing franchises. Or combining them? ]

I think we'll have plenty of time to do that.

[ Perhaps even watch both Ring franchise movies. Imagine!

Robert is pleased to hear the words though, and smiles. He could have verified Flambae's state of being with how he's being his weirdo self but it is nice to hear it directly. He leans in just enough to press the featheriest of kisses against the man's warm temple. ]

I'm glad to hear it. So what was this thing you thought you might be able to help me with?

[ He's genuinely curious, now that he knows he doesn't need to fuss (too much) over Flambae's injuries. Or maybe they should just go right to the horny problem... ]

[incinerhater]

[It isn't anything new.

Flambae has harbored those feelings for a lot longer than he would like to admit.

Robert mentions that they have plenty of time, warming Flambae up in a manner quite contrary to his destructive abilities. The sensation is gooey and saccharine in a way that he would never dare to speak about out loud. He remembers being younger and not thinking he would even be here at this age, much less with someone he liked this much in his bed. Once upon a time, Flambae had even wondered if he had somehow missed his window to find the love of his life, only recently coming to terms with the fact that maybe that man would still be out there or perhaps there would be multiple.

While he's peppered with kisses, Flambae closes his eyes, sporting a smug, pleased expression, once again in the way a cat does when it is feeling comfortable. He pulls Robert into an embrace, although he does so softly not to disturb Robert's nursing efforts, quite content to snuggle albeit awkwardly in a G-string and on those peculiarly white sheets of his.]

After all those fights as a normie, you've got to be sore, right?

I swear, when I pass you in the hallways, I can hear your bones snap-crackle-popping man!

I think I could help fix that for you.

[Rats. Robert is still wearing his uniform, otherwise Flambae would demonstrate.]

Even though setting shit on fire is the coolest superpower around, I am so fucking amazing, it's not like I can just do that.

I can heat things without burning them.

[Where is he going with this-]

Like your muscles!

[cute at least he is admitting robert has them

sort of]

And all of your creaky joints that go, "Crunch-crunch."

[bobbob]

[ Robert honestly is going to feel a little insane for not realizing Flambae has been kind of obsessed with him. But also maybe he doesn't need to know the extent. Difficult to say! What's important is that they're here now, and the dispatcher is happy about it, especially knowing that Flambae isn't injured enough (physically or for his pride) to be concerning. He's back to being his normal self. ]

I don't think my body is really the equivalent of a guy in his 30s, no.

[ Even though he works out and tends to his own injuries and whatnot, he is definitely crunchy.

Enough so that he can't even come up with a witty retort to Flambae's words.

So instead of that, he leans back just enough to be able to get a good look at the man, his expression curious. ]

You mean like a heated massage?

[ A couple of things happen here once his mind opens to this possibility. Firstly, he is more than happy to volunteer himself for it. Secondly, he already feels a sense of warmth in his chest and even his stomach, but that's all from the fact that Flambae cares enough to offer something like that to him.

Also, thank god Flambae is not on Team Dad Bod. Even Robert's dignity can only take so much. He'll gladly take even a "sort of" acknowledgment of his muscles instead. ]

I wouldn't complain...

[incinerhater]

[He doesn't need to know, and Flambae will be doing everything in his power to prevent that from getting out, but... We all know how that goes.

That means it will, in fact, come up, and in a manner that is going to be truly horrendous.]

Ch'yeah! One who just got back from Vietnam, maybe.

[If he ever hears about the Dad-bod accusations, he is going to have a conniption. Instead, since he's remaining iNnOcEnT and sUWeEet, he'll reach a hand out to rub repeatedly at the back of Robert's neck. How stiff is it?

Flambae may boast constantly about his own long hair, but it's nice that Robert kind of keeps his short. It makes manhandling him a lot easier, since he doesn't have a long mane to get caught on things.]

Something like that, yes.

I mean, have you ever even been to a spa?

[Somehow, the idea of him having attended several ska concerts seems more plausible.]

[bobbob]

[ It will definitely be revealed in the most out of pocket way. Look forward to it! ]

It's worse than that.

[ Not that he was in Vietnam obviously because he is a millennial. But he's pretty sure his bones are crunchier.

Thoughts of self-depreciating jokes drift away though as Flambae's hand rests against the back of his neck. Robert shivers a little, but he's anything but chilly. There's just this little euphoric rush of being touched by someone you have (very very recently) just starting dating and this is no exception. Even if it's not kinky or any sort of foreplay.

It's just ... really nice.

But the former "normie" hero laughs a little at the question. ]

When, and with what money would I have?

[ He subsists on twinkies and cereal and he sleeps in a chair. This man does not treat himself to the spa. ]

[incinerhater]

Sometimes if you flirt with the masseuse a little you can get in for free.

[He leaves out the detail that his own tip in that situation had been a blowjob, but! Details.

Flambae silently looks over Robert's body. He doesn't know whether to feel pity or relief, in part because the other man is finally admitting that something isn't right in the first place. He's been a little defensive, hasn't he, and not in the way Flambae usually is, with the moody firestarter's outright denial of things.

As eager as he is to "get to work" on his new man, he's terrified. Even with all of that effort, will it ever be enough? Then again, Robert seems to not fix things even if they are way beyond broken, so... He will probably stick around if Flambae doesn't torch their relationship majorly.]

Everything you say about your life... It's like, I can't even make a joke about how fucking sad it was. You are worse than EEE-YORE. You know the EE-YORE? His tail keeps falling off... Like a bad toupee, or... A leaky buttplug.

[sorry for the unnecessary dispatch humor i-]

My niece likes that one.

[Cartoon, stuffed animal... It's all the same to him.]

The jolly bear and his jittery pink boyfriend remind me of a lot of couples I used to know.

[The hand on Robert's neck trails upwards, his warm fingers running through the other man's hair, messing with it on purpose.]

Fuck.

I should probably feed you.

[Despite being sore and incredibly reluctant, he is ATTEMPTING to get out of bed but it isn't very successful-]

You didn't eat anything on the way here, did you.

[bobbob]

Yeah, didn't do that either.

[ His brow lifts at Flambae like seriously? but then he leaves it at that. He doesn't actually want to be regaled with stories of giving a masseuse head for free spa treatments.

As for admitting he's a bit broken in body, Robert doesn't intend on getting too deep into that either. It's just that he couldn't find a quick reply in the moment that was better than leaning into the joke.

There are definitely some things he needs to work through ... ]

Okay, saying your niece likes him and talking about a soggy buttplug in almost the same sentence is actually really fucked up, just so you know.

[ And Robert will not even comment on being compared to the depressed donkey from Winnie-the-Pooh. See, there is a limit to some things!!

When Flambae moves to get out of the bed, he reaches out to lightly take his arm, tug it in a bit. ]

No, I was too busy wondering why my boyfriend was ignoring me when he's hurt. But I'm not going to starve if you just rest for a little while.

[ Besides, he likes being like this. Close together, touching. Warm. ]

Unless you're hungry? Maybe I can just call something in.

1/2

[incinerhater]

[where is the icon of him lighting fully on fire BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

have i used the shaving dig yet

[incinerhater]

[God! Commitment is something he's been wanting so badly, and while they have discussed being exclusive if briefly, this is different! A step up, and he said it so casually and without thinking...

Flambae notably perks up at the use of the word, and there's an odd, nervous intensity in how he holds himself even though his words provide no contest to the label. In fact, he's so jittery and determined to play it cool, something that would appear nearly impossible for him to do by nature, that he forgets to respond to the comment about Eeyore and the his tail ear loosely attached stuffed animal butt plug.

Very little force is required to plop Flambae back onto the bed. The G-string with straps does wiggle out of a place a little, even if Flambae doesn't seem to notice. He shakes his head, a little too voraciously.]

It's okay.

My appetite today is a little... Meh?

[He reaches out to touch the side of Robert's face again.

He can be chill, he can be gentle, even if the icky butterflies weevil-ing away in his stomach are reminding him that there's still time for him to ruin this.]

It wasn't ignoring so much as...

[Those fuzzy brows furrow again.]

I am not quite sure what you are seeing when you look at me.

It'd be nice if it... Didn't get any worse.

[They never will, though.]

I really would like to help take care of you, if...

It's any fucking consolation.