CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

3/3

[bountyhead]

[ nope. not a strip joint. her face morphs from curiosity to disgust to a completely flat expression when she drags her eyes up to finally meet his and all that leaves her lips is: ]

A... breastaurant?

[bootyhunter]

[Dandy's obnoxious hairdo is where most of his weight lies, and when you're that top-heavy, you're bound to come crashing down. So when Faye pushes him away, he crumples to the ground, doubling over for a beat. He does manage to twist his body and look up at her while she processes all the nonsense he's just thrown her way, the circumstances finally dawning upon him. Finally. After all this nonsense.

Faye may not be in the business of selling her body, but she works in an industry that involves a good deal of rough-housing, and not the fun kind. Dandy ruminates on that revelation for a moment, wondering if she's on the run from the authorities, but like he said only seconds prior, he's not one to turn up his nose at a pretty girl who's down on her luck. She mentions the burger and another lightbulb goes somewhere within Dandy's thick skull- Miss Valentine isn't looking for her next valentine at all, but her next meal ticket.]

Would you have preferred a sausage party?

[He notes the way her countenance appears to completely transform at the mention of food, chuckling to himself. His eyes close as Dandy rises to his feet, dusting his hands off and answering in the most warmly casual of tones-]

So you've never been.

[This is the most subdued he's been all evening, without a doubt.]

Don't knock those big ol' knockers 'til you try 'em, baby! They serve eggy burger things. Hell, we can probably snag a free one with those, and then some.

[bountyhead]

[ sausage party.

... sausage.

the hunger-induced nausea still lingers and she waits for her stomach to chime in again. thankfully, it doesn't, not this time anyway, but the dreadful reminder of why she's here in the first place remains front and center. faye emits a long, weary sigh and looks over the vouchers again. she's not exactly keen on the idea of going to a place that labels itself a breastuarant but... food...

( gurgle )

for a second there, it looks like she's about to hurl, but really she's contemplating this entire situation in her head while counting how many vouchers he just so happened to have on his person. ]

No. I've never been. But something tells me you're a regular patron. Is the food actually good or are you often too distracted to even tell?

[bootyhunter]

Yes ma'am!

[He poses flamboyantly once more, not at all ashamed of his... VIP (Very Important Pinhead) status at an anime Hooters knockoff.]

The way I see it, it's dinner with a view! That's the kinda good time that nothing in the universe can hold a candle to. Who needs glitz and glamour when you've got booties and boobies, the best of nature's bounty!

[i hate that i had to imagine a grown man saying these words]

Beeeeee-sides, it sounds like you're not really in a place to be all that picky, pretty lady. I was wonderin' why you were in such a rush, but now I've got things all figured out.

[He taps the side of his head with an index finger, like in the meme? You know the one.]

If you were hankerin' for some hamburgers, why didn'tcha just say that? You didn't need to bust out all the smoke and mirrors! You're a smokeshow already! I would've gone with ya anyway.

So, whaddya say? You wanna start over?

[It should be noted at least one of the vouchers lists a Boobies location that is nearby.]

[bountyhead]

[ dandy is met with silence. you wanna start over? what a peculiar guy. sure, the sleaziness was no different but he has this buoyant nature to him that’s kind of interesting. she’s used to dealing with emotionally-hindered men and banal scumbags who smell like they haven’t washed their ass in a week. faye doesn't recall any foul odors when she was close enough to catch a whiff... so that's something. ]

You men are all the same.

[ booties and boobies. geez. ]

But I guess you're right. I don't have much of a choice unless I'd rather wither away from starvation...

[ the truth is when she says she hasn't eaten since yesterday, what she really means is five days ago but that wasn't something she wanted to admit out loud. not an actual meal anyway—she split a tiny handful of peanuts that ed had found and no she will never ask where she found them she does not need to know. ]

Let's start over.

[ there's a hint of a smile before she returns her attention back to the voucher. ]

Looks like there's a location nearby.

[ faye starts to approach dandy once more but with a much less threatening aura this time ( not that anyone would blame him for being weary ). and it's not until they're nearly toe-to-toe again that she proceeds to stuff the measely 30 woolongs and boobies vouchers down his shirt. she holds onto the photocard. ]

This isn't a girlfriend of yours, is she? She's pretty but I'd bet 30 woolongs that she wouldn't be too happy to hear about this little date we're having.

[bootyhunter]

[Oh.

It's as though a droplet falls into a pool of liquid stars, the ripples reverberating throughout all of Dandy's emotions, of all the Dandys emotions, each and every iteration that remains alive within their own streams of everlasting time. Those versions of himself, who in truth are simply otherworldly extensions of this particular Dandy, may feel sharp gush of wind or an invisible touch to the shoulder without ever knowing why.]

If I had a girl of my own, you wouldn't catch me cruisin' for a bruisin' with some other random chick I met online.

We'd be paintin' the town red together.

[Melancholy, true melancholy, is a rare sentiment for Dandy, particularly the kind of sadness directed at himself. He is easily affected by the suffering of others when he lets them in. If he can't alleviate their pain or straight up make it disappear, he will do whatever he can to help get them where they need to go, be it happiness or the very end. But in this very second, his brown eyes gloss over and seem vacant, and the fingers of his right hand curl inward.

Catherine. Paul. Being left behind.

Dandy can't form a picture in his own head, he isn't sure what she looked like. He only knows that even though he loved her, even though they loved each other, she had always been cold and distant.

Does Catherine feel faraway now because of all the time that's passed, or is it because she's not even on the same celestial plane? Shit.]

Well, then again, my last girl wasn't all that into causin' a ruckus, that was more my-

[He stops himself. This isn't the Dandy way. What good will it do, to think of times that are already over? To be sad when it serves no purpose. There is so much more to live for in the moment.]

Nevermind.

[bountyhead]

[ a glimpse is all it takes. she watches the vivacity diminish from his gaze. hears the way his tone drops from its once-spirited inflection. it makes her nervous; she’s never been good at comforting people. especially not those burned by love. she might have felt something like love once but it was all for naught. any experience she's had, that she can remember, has been short-lived and nothing special. not to mention any brush with vulnerability frightens the hell out of her. a surefire way to cause her to clam up or make things incredibly awkward should she even try.

her green eyes flit back to the photocard so she's no longer staring at him. she takes a step back and then holds out the photo between them. almost like a hey i see that you're sad so i'm gonna lay off on being a hard ass for a bit sort of truce. ]

Here, you’ll probably want this then.

[ she just couldn't bring herself to stuff it down his shirt like the rest with him looking like that. faye clears her throat. ]

So... um.

[ this is already feeling awkward. ]

I might be forced to chew my own foot off here if we don't get to those burgers soon.

[bootyhunter]

[He doesn't seem to take any offense at her awkwardness, instead simply brightening up and brushing past the heartache like it never happened. Dandy tilts his head in Faye's direction, taking the photocard back before clicking his tongue.]

Right, the grub! And the girlies. The girlies and the grub, how could I forget?

[His priorities are in that order exactly. Dandy flips the card in his fingers so that Faye can get a better look at it. Everything from the hairstyle to the photo quality imply that the picture was not at all taken recently.]

You've never heard of Agnes Lum? She was a model in the seventies.

[This is Faye's first clue, perhaps, that something is strange about him. Anyone who remembers those days wouldn't be alive today. Right? Or, at the very least, they shouldn't look Dandy's age. And yet he continues to prattle on as though that era was yesterday. Dandy begins to walk in the direction of the nearest Boobies, his o-ass-is, looking over his shoulder as if wordlessly beckoning Faye to come along.]

Your token bikini babe! She and you've got on similar outfits, only, she's rockin' a tan on a beach and you've got that on when it's stinkin' cold out tonight. You're not freezin' your cute lil' tushy off in that getup?

[bountyhead]

The name doesn't ring any bells, no.

[ faye gives miss agnes lum another mindful once over—the bikini is pretty cute. but he's right. that's clearly an older photo. she glances over just as dandy peers from over his shoulder. nah, there's no way... he looks too young to have been from that time; on the other hand, so does she for someone born in 1994. there's a reason for that, of course, but is it the same reason for him too? ]

Frankly, my memory isn’t what it should be, so who knows. Maybe I did know once upon a time.

[ she's walking alongside him now when she gives him a dismissive shrug and then starts digging around in her jacket for a cigarette. the words cute lil' tushy tests the very restraint she possesses in that moment as she lights her cigarette and chooses to ignore it. her eyes narrow just a bit at him. very briefly. he won't even notice. ]

The cold has never really bothered me. I've always been that way.

[ "always", the last three years since she woke from cold sleep maybe. would that make it causation? correlation? there's some kind of link there. ]

But if you ask me, I would rather be getting a tan on the beach. Wouldn't you? Who even genuinely enjoys this kind of miserable weather anyway? Let alone prefer it.

[ wait, no. she knows who: ........ spike. ]

also THEY WILL REACH BOOBIES IN about 2-3 tags dw, if that's ok with you!

[bootyhunter]

Eh! Memories, shmemories. Scrunch yer brain and yer face up too much tryin' to grab hold of the unnecessary details and you'll miss the booty of what's right in front of ya.

[Booty? Did he say booty accidentally instead of beauty?! No. No, that's exactly what he meant.]

Plus, you'll get wrinkles, baby! So, why worry about it?

[He smiles in her direction, seemingly catching that glare but thinking nothing of it. The cigarette doesn't appear to phase him either, also because unbeknownst to him the smoke or chemicals have no impact on his actual lifespan, which will go on and on until something in the moment takes him out and he'll be reborn or awake in another corner of the universe shortly afterwards.]

Yeah, I hear ya! I mean, what kinda whack job prefers cloudy skies to a sunny day? There's so much more you can do with just a little bit of light!

[Therein lies the difference between Dandy and Spike-]

But, then again!

[Dandy rolls his head to either side in an exaggeratedly animated fashion, mostly for dramatic effect.]

If you wanna do somethin' that bad, just do it. If it's pourin' outside, maybe you'll get your hair wet for a second. Whatever! Just head somewhere high n' dry eventually and it'll bounce right back up again, like-

[Don't say boobies-]

Well, maybe I shouldn't say it in polite company.

[so dicks are not appropriate for polite company... but ass and titties are ok to talk about in front of an alien baby???? dandy ur just a filthy heterosexual]

You don't really seem interested in any of that, after all.

[He studies her for a moment, the look more thoughtful than pensive.]

You've got a pretty roundabout way of goin' about things, Miss Valentine. Why didn'tcha just tell me you were starvin' in the first place? I'd figure a girl who looks as good as you do would land herself plenty of dinner dates.

perfectly ok!!

[bountyhead]

[ memories, schmemories. she wishes it were that easy. always willing to search for them, always desperately clinging to a smell, a sound, some other stimulus that renders urgency to flip through her mental index and find... something. anything. usually nothing. having lost everything meant the moment she accrued that chunk of her memory, that became the one thing that could keep her tethered to the person she was. it didn’t feel right to let that go. that's all she has.

.... but who wants to get into that Sad Stuff?? ( we do just... later ) ]

You know, you’re strikingly optimistic for a man. All the ones I know are so doom and gloom these days. I live with two of ‘em and it’s as depressing as you think. They just sit around expecting luck to fall into their laps—but you know what I think? I think you should go out and find your own luck. If you know what you want, go and get it, what’s stopping you? Other people?

[ faye clicks her tongue in disapproval. screw that, you do things for yourself. ]

You can call me Faye, you know. Miss Valentine sounds too formal and I think we’re past the formalities now, don’t you?

[ ah the intimate act of having a gun shoved in your face. is it strange that she smiles at him after saying that? his reaction was pretty funny. a beat passes while she takes another drag off her cigarette and ruminates over his framing. 'roundabout'. she exhales the smoke. ]

Well, I'm starving. Is that better? [ the jig is up. might as well. ] And yeah, sure, I can bag plenty of dinner dates, but most of them end before they start. Men can be such insufferable idiots.

[bootyhunter]

[Perhaps the finer details have never concerned him because whether he's dead or alive, he'll always be pretty Dandy, and he'll always be Dandy, in whatever costume or new incarnation, no matter what.

The things that change most, for him, then, are his relationships to the living things he comes in touch with.]

Starvin', huh?

[Dandy is no stranger to hunger of the physical variety, as he and the other crew members of the Aloha Oe just get by on most days, sometimes going far too long without anything to eat but instant ramen.]

Can't say I don't feel ya on the crummy roommate situation. I've got a furry freeloader and a hunk of scrap metal to keep me company.

At least the two depressing duds you're shackin' up with've theoretically got a few useful parts. But, damn, lady! Your life kinda sounds like a bummer. I take back what I said! Maybe I don't wanna get to know ya any better.

[All of that is said with a teasing lilt. Dandy does have a habit of being too comfortable around strangers, especially if those strangers just so happen to be beautiful women. Tired of looking at her beautiful face through a shroud of smoke, he reaches over himself to wave through the clouds she's creating for herself.]

Sounds like you've never been in love.

When's the last time you even kissed a guy?

[bountyhead]

[ normally, faye would have protested, made some flippant quip about love because who needs it. she even opens her mouth to start but finds her voice hitched in the back of her throat. sounds like you've never been in love. what a stupid thing to say... and how embarrassing for her because he's right. ]

Wow, just going for the personal questions right off the bat, huh? This must be what a real date feels like.

[ sarcastically. she's been on a real date before ok!! she looks away from dandy right as the smoke clears, and drops her cigarette on the ground to extinguish it with the heel of her boot. ]

No. I've never been in love. Not that I can recall anyway.

[ you'd think someone would remember something like that. ]

There was one guy. But I don't think that was ever really love... I mean I thought I could love him. Be in love with him. Come to find out he didn't feel the same way. He was using me, even faked his death to pass his debt off to me. Mind you, I was already swimming in over three million woolongs of debt by that point. [ and still is. ] I found out three years later after my partners were getting ready to turn in his bounty that he was alive. He had some work done so he wasn't recognizable. But I still recognized him.

[ her palms itch. she wants another cigarette. ]

Anyway—

[ if he's expecting an actual answer to his last question then he is sorely mistaken. this time, though, she will look at him. ]

When's the last time you even kissed a woman?

1/2

[bootyhunter]

[A hint of surprise glosses over Dandy's features when she actually starts talking about Mr. Phony-Face, although the change in his own expression isn't all that noticeable. Part of him had expected some kind of smart retort or yet another non-answer. He may be an optimistic fellow, and an idiot on most days, but even he knows when to keep his hopes from getting too high.

As soon as the note of sympathy appears, it's gone, however-]

[bootyhunter]

[And his face does a thing where it melts, not unlike a scoop of ice cream in the hot sun, and contorts into something hideously idiotic. Think Neanderthal, but with too much hair gel.]

Work done? What'd he do, get lip injections? Welp, 'least ya don't have to kiss that mouth no more.

So! Ya fell for a phony uggo who was an ass, and not the super-special-awh-some kind that should be put on display in most places of worship! Well, look at it this way- You're young and gorgeous, and he's probably got smelly feet and a stinky bumbum.

[DANDY?!]

The last time I smooched a smokin' hottie? Hm, let me see...

[If Faye were to get a glimpse into Dandy's mind at the moment, it'd be a blank space with one-too-many cobwebs with a sickly fly coming out of it. He's bad at dates and times.]

Probably two, three weeks ago? Maybe four.

[It was Agnes Lum- Yes, the picture. After one too many drinks at Boobies, Meow and QT had hauled him back to his room, and in Dandy's drunken stupor, he had taken poor Agnes off his nightstand and tried to make out with her. God, it's a miracle she's still in one piece! Thank goodness the girl is laminated.]

Although, now that I think about it? That was a rough one, for sure! Gah! Papercuts...

[bountyhead]

[ chances are she's cracking from a severe lack of nutrients but the way dandy shit talks whitney like a fifth grader is weirdly endearing. probably the delirium taking over. faye looks away and bites down on a smile because god forbid she gives him any ideas or the ego boost. ]

Wow, a whole month ago? Color me impressed.

[ she's purely ribbing him now although it might not be obvious. ]

The truth is, I don't let just anyone kiss me, so I'm afraid it's been a lot longer for me.

[ faye pauses to ponder something.... and then shrugs when the thought seems to dissipate. ]

On the other hand, I've had some pretty interesting nights in Alba City. Sometimes the drinks flow a bit too much and suddenly there's smooching going on. It happens to the best of us, right? I'm sure a ladies man like you understands. [ wink wonk ]

i swear boobies will ARRIVE next tag, just didn't want to ruin a moment

[bootyhunter]

[She'd be a lot less impressed if she found out the girl was two-dimensional.]

But a kiss is just a kiss, baby.

[Dandy clacks one of his heels against the ground, slipping both hands into his pockets as he looks Faye dead in the eye. Had she not given him the rundown on Whitney, he might've even chimed in with a, "Why the hell not?"

But the answer is obvious. Seems like the last guy screwed her over pretty badly.]

That's all it is! That's all it has to be.

[For Dandy, there is something beautiful about a split second, even if it'll be lost to time hours or even decades later. Chances are, it will be. They'll part ways and she's likely to dip after she's gotten her fill of food, but it doesn't change the fact that right now, at this moment in time, Dandy's heartbeat is picking up at the suggestion of some actual flirtation, no matter how loaded with sarcasm it may be.

In his travels across the galaxy, connection, especially that of the vaguely human variety... It's rarer than any of the aliens he does manage to make money off of.]

Okay! So, maybe it'll lead to ya gettin' your heart-broken all over again. But it could also go somewhere pretty great! A lotta people get all pissy after a one-night stand, but... So what! You had at least one great night, and that's better than nothin'.

[Oh no. They are approaching a vaguely boob-shaped building with signs in flashing lights.]

Does this mean we're orderin' Tequila instead of coffee?

[bountyhead]

[ the answer to that question arrives a little later into the date. faye orders an egg-y double-monstrosity that looks almost impossible for someone as tiny as her to finish off but that she will, in fact, inhale effortlessly like some kind of human trash compactor without missing a single crumb. tops off the entire thing by then ordering a shot and downing it without missing a beat.

fast forward, and the initial revulsion that comes from experiencing one of these breastaurants dissolves into a kind of passivity over time now that she's five tequilas deep. even while the guy next to her is busy drooling and ogling them like a creep. that's not her man after all. why should she care? she doesn't. however, she is fascinated by the way the waitresses interact with dandy, with the other patrons, what they're required to do and how they're supposed to act. god, she'd hate to work in a place like this.

she clears her throat to get dandy's attention. ]

You know, I have to ask... earlier when you mentioned my partners having 'useful parts'... were you talking about their dicks? Because...

[ why, faye???? there is a moment where the amount of disgust that warps her face makes it look like she's about to hurl. and she'll shake her head, both to imply 'no' and to tell herself 'you are not about to puke right now'. ]

No way. You should see the bathroom after they've used it. I'm turned off forever by it.

[bootyhunter]

[Now, Faye is a beautiful girl, but she's a beautiful girl who is under no contractual obligation to flirt with him or lean suggestively over a table, giggling over every goddamn thing Dandy says. He seems blissfully unaware or perchance simply unbothered by the fact that all of this interaction is entirely fabricated, not to mention one-sided. In the midst of oogling the waitresses, he does happen to catch wind of a few words.]

What? Oh! Nopety-dopety.

[This, surprisingly, isn't denial. It's simply that he's misremembering the joke.]

I just kinda-sorta assumed they were taller than yo- Ah!

[One of the workers bends over backwards to pick up a check, an unnecessarily brazen display of acrobatics. Not only does this mean more midrift to look at, but her skirt is hiked up inches higher and that is definitely an anime-grade panty-shot she's got going on there... Ugh.]

Hah.

Screw gasoline, it's boobies that make the world go 'round. Speakin' of boobies-

[They're in a breastaurant, there's no need to, it'd only be tacky at this rate-]

So you're the only pair of boobs on your ship? Well, our crew's two knuckleheads are 0 for 0. Tit for tata, I don't even know what holes Meow's got and I don't wanna!

[QT has his battery outlets, poor little guy...]

You ever get tired of those losers? Err, your losers, I mean.

[bountyhead]

....

[ faye would feel embarrassed by the miscommunication if she wasn't more thoroughly bemused by dandy's, uh, personality. her eyes flit between the flexible waitress and the look on his face. what a pathetic horndog, she thinks, and it makes her laugh; the sound disappearing as she takes another sip. men are too easy. just wink at them and they're in love. it would take nothing at all to get someone like dandy into bed—there's even a moment where she considers it before shaking her head and downing the rest of her drink. as she sinks back into her seat, her gaze settles on the big-haired goon, glossy green bedroom eyes that tell him she is comfortably sloshed. she smirks, though it begins to wane. ]

Oh, Dandy... every woman is more than just their tits, no matter how great they may be.

[ faye emits a sigh and lazily reaches out towards her jacket for a cigarette. bringing one to her mouth, she gently bites down on the butt and speaks around it. ]

Ha, my losers... yeah. I get tired of them. [ a soft flick, followed by flame, and then smoke. ] They're always on my ass about something, or blaming me for their shortcomings like it's somehow my fault. But outside of that? We hardly acknowledge each other. In fact, I think they still wanna kick me out. Can you believe that? After all the hundreds of thousands of woolongs I've helped them bag? How I've saved their asses? They'd be lost without me and they're afraid to admit it.

[ ... and she punctuates that with a small burp. now to address what is important: ]

Wait—you own a cat? I would've pegged you to be a dog person. I feel like you and Ein would hit it off... [ pause ] And he's all yours for a single payment of 40,000 woolongs if you want him.

[ FAYE?? ]

[bootyhunter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hearts and stuff! They're, like, important or whatever.

[Poor Faye doesn't know that Dandy would turn down the opportunity to be God so he could still maintain the corporeal form that allows him to touch a titty.

She'd be right that getting him into bed would be a piece of cake, and it's true that Dandy falls in love easily, easier than he'd like to admit. His problem is, perhaps, since he's really the type to go with the flow...

That if he sees the current carry a woman away from him, no matter how much he may want to be with her, he's likely to let her go.]

Oh, I am so a dog person! The cat's just a mangy bag of fleas. He's not mine, so much ass he is my problem! He just mooches off me and eats all my snacks. Which is a pain in the ass! Especially since I'm the biggest snack onboard... One day, when he's eaten me outta house and home and QT finally runs outta battery... I'm startin' to fear he'll come for me.

[That's... Depressing, but probably one of the episodes that never made it to air. If he vaguely projects or remembers it, it's probably happened in at least one timeline.]

You're always lookin' to make a quick buck, huh? Well, can't say I blame ya.

That load of moolah your ex left ya to pay off sounds like a fuckin' death sentence.

[He closes his eyes, the alcohol getting to him, but not in the way he'd like. Dandy massages his temple with a finger.]

No wonder you seem so goddamn miserable.

[Surprisingly, he doesn't mean it as a complaint.

In the brief amount of time together, he's been able to ascertain-]

No gal who smokes that much is ever happy.

[bountyhead]

[ now, faye genuinely believes dandy is talking about an actual cat. this one, strangely enough, don't ask her why. that's what comes to mind. ]

I've heard that cats considered humans to be just like any other animal. He probably will eat you under the right circumstance. If I were you, I'd watch my back.

[ she realizes too late that she talks about them in the past tense. they still exist, just few and far in between. it's been ages since faye has physically seen one. they might as well be some kind of fabricated being at this point. ]

Dogs too. I think. Ein probably wouldn't. He's a fat, smelly, lazy little furball. Kind of cute though.

[ she plucks an ice cube from her glass and sucks off the residual tequila. eh, maybe she'll order one more. faye waves her glass and catches one of the waitresses: a brunette with a lot of boobage and a top that's much too small to contain it. sooner or later the fabric is going to give and dandy will probably not survive that one. it's entertaining to think about for all of three seconds. no wonder you seem so goddamn miserable. words that will undoubtedly slip into sober thoughts much later.

faye sighs again, shrugs, seemingly dismissive about the implication. ]

Sure, you could say that, but who isn't miserable these days...

[ she runs a hand through her hair and takes a long drag off her cigarette. not everyone feels the way she does. she knows this. still, there exists a yearning to touch common ground with someone, to be heard and understood. it has never not existed. she just chooses to fight it. ]

Are you happy?

[bootyhunter]

[To be fair, that's just Meow without the hat, electronics, and full body anime girl pillows.]

"Kind of?" C'mon! Dogs are the best.

[Dandy's face brightens up immediately. Unfortunately for his Beetlegeusian crewmate, he is one-hundred percent a dogs over cats kind of guy.]

They're loyal, they've got waggly lil' tails on wiggly lil' booties, and they're almost always happy to see ya. Who cares if they're kinda stinky! It's all a part of their charm.

[Happiness is not a constant state of being. There is no joy without sadness, and much of the time, Dandy is on some wild goose chase that almost never leads him anywhere. His job is far harder and much less worthwhile than the flashy description would lead him to believe, but he still answers without hesitation-]

Happy? Right now? Well, yeah.

I'm happy. And when I get less happy, I come here! And if Boobies is too far out, I'll just find my way back to somethin' that makes me smile, fills my stomach, or is a lot more fun to do than what I'm doin'.

[He shrugs, raising his glass half hazardly in Faye's direction before downing the remaining.]

I mean, think about it! We're in space for cryin' out loud! If you've got a ship of your own, you can go anywhere. Look out the window and you'll get a front row seat to an ocean of stars.

Life's too short to be spent mopin' around, baby.

[he says this butt he's so gd dramatic when he's Being Moody lmfao]

So why not do somethin' dope instead?

[bountyhead]

[ faye squints at dandy through a screen of smoke. he’s like the human equivalent of a dog, but one that turns into that cartoon wolf that howls and salivates over the beautiful dancing woman. she’s half-expecting him to morph when the busty waitress drops her drink off. but whether he were to change into an actual Horn(y)Dog or not, she probably wouldn’t have noticed. there’s a window to her left, his right, that frames the yawning darkness around them; stars winking and ships whizzing by, flashing billboards and satellites filling the in-between.

dandy wasn't wrong—it really is beautiful out there. plus the added convenience of ships and zipcrafts made it possible for her to travel out into that beauty. that's lucky. she dreamily sighs and forces her gaze away, looking for her drink, and then dandy. one last drag and she discards her cigarette, blowing the smoke away from him. ]

Do somethin' dope, huh? Like what? Get drunk with a strange woman you met off a dating app in what looks like every teenage boy's fantasy?

[ she snorts into her glass. ]

I think our definitions of 'dope' are very different.

i should never phone tag i always end up re-editing

[bootyhunter]

[At that, Dandy lets out something like a sigh. It’s not disgruntled or insulted, and surprisingly, there’s a sound of empathy to it. He leans over and reaches out, giving her hand a little rustle, trying to peer over and into her eyes, as if that would tell him anything about what was wrong.]

Like meetin' somebody new!

Takin' a walk someplace you’ve never been, starting a band! Anything, baby.

[His brows press together, smile ever-present, although he looks worried.]

When’d you stop seeing the good in things, huh? When that guy screwed ya over?

I thought you were tryin’ to get the hell out of dodge from a shitty ex-boyfriend when you rushed on over here, but now I get the feeling that you’re runnin’ away from you.

[Usually, he'd be pissed that someone was killing his buzz at boobies, and while it's true that Faye's looks are definitely enough to win her many a favor, Dandy isn't the kind of person to leave anybody miserable in the lurch when he can say something of comfort.

He notes that she's said a lot about things she doesn't like, but he hasn't got a clue about anything she seems to actually enjoy. A thought passes idly by inside that empty head of his, that she's had her fill and even got the sandwich she so desired, and yet there's something about her that seems bogged down by a heavy weight. At the moment, she's directing her anger at him and exercising her disdain for his favorite establishment, but tomorrow it will be something or someone else.

For some reason, of that, he is certain.]

You think maybe you've had enough?

[To drink, he means.]