bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

Uhh...

[Hagakure awkwardly rubs at the back of his neck as he thinks back to the girls in his class. It feels really weird to do now, considering everything that went down there. Some of the girls he thought were cute are dead now. One ended up being the mastermind herself.]

No. Usually I try to win 'em over with my skills. Girls love fortune-telling, y'know!

[Even before Hope's Peak, this was his angle. It's very easy for him to develop crushes, but they never go anywhere. Some have even ended in disaster. As he reflects on how that fared for him, his head droops in defeat- a direct contrast to Dandy right now.]

But I've never had much luck with it. I figured it was just wasn't meant to be, but I guess I maybe coulda been doin' more on my end. I've always been pretty confident in my looks 'n' how I present myself, but...

[Something seems to occur to him and he looks up with wide eyes.]

I...did take a shower before I came over here.

[Partially because Seo Dawon gave him a good verbal beatdown to "encourage" him, but maybe there was something more to it. Was it a subconscious thing? Because rarely is he ever dealing with showers for his own sake.

Much to think about. Fortunately, he doesn't have to do that right now!!]

If you'd asked me that before tonight, I'd have said you were crazy for even thinkin' I'd get near a shower with a dude. Changin' rooms and onsens are one thing, but this is definitely...intimate.

[He'd be freaking out a little even if it was with a girl! And yet as his gaze trails over Dandy's slim body and the dark bruises that he'd left there not too long ago, the heavy thumping of his heart reminds him that this is exactly what he wants.

He nods.]

Yeah. I'm up for it.

Well, yeah! Showering together is a couple's th-

[IN REGARDS TO THE SHOWERING BEFORE HE CAME OVER LINE-]

Do you not do that usually?!

[Dandy sounds exasperated.

AlthOUGH THIS NEXT LINE IS EVEN MORE CURSED-]

You don't even do a rinky-dink sink rinse-off at the bar if nobody's lookin', I-

[nO!!!! DON'T MAKE HIM INEVITABLY EXPLAIN WHAT THAT IS]

Edited 2022-08-16 21:49 (UTC)

[Hagakure's heart leaps into his throat when he swears he heard the word "couple", but-]

N-No?!

[Okay now he's absolutely embarrassed. And the worst part is he doesn't even have to think too hard to figure out what Dandy means with any of that cursed shit.]

I didn't even expect anything to happen, I just...

[He anxiously fiddles with his prayer beads.]

I dunno. I dunno, okay?

Are you sure those beads're even holy anymore? Havin' to brush up against all of your unwashed filth every day...

[This piece of information prompts Dandy to turn on the faucet and slip out of his drawls, although there's hardly anything sexy about it. Instead, he's sporting a somewhat irritated, disgruntled expression. Out of spite, he flings his boxer briefs right into Hagakure's face before stepping into (*what now we've determined is) the shower.]

Get in.

I s'pose I've gotta be watchin' your hair?

Nnngh…

[All Hagakure can manage is a dejected whimper because he is now well aware of how badly he’s messed up. Gods, he had no idea it was that bad! He’s lucky Dandy still even wants to have this shower with him now.

Before he can say anything else—like offer a weak apology—the briefs smack him in the face, so all that happens is another pathetic Hagakure noise as he tosses them along with his own underwear on the floor.

Glumly, he obeys and shuffles into the shower alongside Dandy.]

No, don’t worry about it. I’ll give it a good wash…

[He feels horrible, so of course he’s going to go the whole nine yards.

To get it out of the way and over with, he takes the lead in standing under the shower head. Surprisingly, his hair loses all of its bounce once it gets wet. It flattens down and drapes over his shoulders, extending halfway down his back. His hair is long.]

I’m supposed to use specific products but they’re kinda hard to come by. Regular shampoo’ll have to do.

[Oh.

Dandy's eyes, brown and down-turned at the edges, widen at the sight of Hagakure's hair flattening against those lanky, tan shoulders. It's strange, for someone who usually doesn't pay the faintest attention to most details, he finds himself lost in far too many. There are minute bruises here and there, dotting not too far down beyond that angular, scruffy jawline, and Dandy experiences a peculiar sequence of "heart" palpitations. Each beat is a reminder that, if anyone were to catch sight of these marks and point them out...

He's the one who created them. Dandy doesn't manage to put two and two together, but the number of "beats" that register in his mind aligns exactly with the number of marks Dandy made on Hagakure's body.]

They don't even have it in your room of all places?

That's bullshit. If I'd've known this was gonna happen, I would've made a trip to the spa to try and snag somethin' or other. They've got blood bags for Nandor, for cryin' out loud! U-uh...

[The younger man has been so generous.

Dandy quickly chocks that thought up to the clairvoyant's inexperience. Surely, he couldn't have known that he was being so considerate in allowing Dandy to do those things...

Fuck, now the space cadet feels guilty. Dandy hastily picks up his own loofah ad slathers it in body wash, moving his hands over the rough textured object to distract from those godforsaken tummy-pigeons again.]

This one's mine. You don't mind if I use it on you, do ya?

Sorry.

It's all I've got. I could also probably use Rossy-baby's, but I'm not sure you two are into each other like that, and Joy?

Well.

She'd kill me.

[Said after a beat, absent-mindedly:]

Hah.

I wonder if she'd even find out.

[She would, and would probably be livid.]

[Meanwhile, Hagakure has already begun his grumbling now that his hair is down, scratching at his scalp and muttering something about how it’s going to take ages to get through…

But then he turns and comes face to face with Dandy’s dumbstruck expression. His own eyes widen and his cheeks burn with a shade of red.

Oh, indeed.]

Oh…I didn’t even think of checkin’ the spa. That’s a good idea for next time…

[Thank the gods that Dandy finds a distraction because it’s going to work for the both of them.]

H-Huh? You wanna scrub me? […] Wait, no, you already said you were gonna…

[He’s basically reliving the initial excitement he had over the matter as he works through his nerves. And to think, a moment ago he was absolutely mortified by the idea of Dandy scrubbing him because of the atmosphere looming above them when they got in the shower.]

I don’t mind. S’not like I haven’t been in the same places it has.

[He says it so casually, but the gravity sinks in pretty damn quickly. He coughs and averts his gaze.]

S-Sorry, that was…bad.

[Their mutual bashfulness only serves to make Dandy appear more sheepish, and his shoulders slouch ever so slightly despite his desperate attempt to keep his tone of voice cool, calm, and collected.]

Bad? Yes!

[In all honesty, this is new even for Dandy. He's used to lavishing affection upon his partners in aromatic baths where they talk and drink wine, and his lovers have been historically shorter with petite frames, easy to wrap his hands around. There's not nearly as much surface area to work with.

Maybe it's a bad idea, but...

Dandy takes a step closer, closing the gap between them.]

But inaccurate? I don't think so.

[He touches Hagakure's cheek with his non-sudsy hand, that rich, crooning voice of his practically cooing.]

Wouldja turn around for me?

Maybe if you don't look me in the eye, we won't be battin' so many eyelashes at each other. I mean, just think about all the water we're wastin'! What about the dolphins? Or even the the other, ah, way uglier fish in the sea.

[*Yes! He thinks dolphins are fish, not mammals.]

Dolphins are fish, right? Or are they just the cuter cousins of whales?

I'm not sure.

Edited 2022-08-17 05:18 (UTC)

[Well, at least the comment was made in good company. Hagakure casts his worries aside and melts into Dandy’s touch for a brief moment of bliss. Even the hot water against his sticky skin feels particularly soothing tonight…]

Huh?

[He blinks out of his daze, realizing he’d definitely been making googly eyes at Dandy until he was interrupted. Whoops. Maybe this is a problem when they’re supposed to be showering.]

Oh, uh. Sure. Okay.

[He’s a little reluctant, but he does what he’s told. Hey, some back scrubbing could be nice too!]

I think they’re closer to whales than regular fish.

[Helpful dolphin discussion during intimate bathing time.]

Either way, I don’t think we gotta worry that much about water usage where we’re at. There’s no shortage of it here! Fontaine’s probably got some fancy-schmancy water purifyin’ system and everything.

Edited 2022-08-17 05:41 (UTC)

[The sounds of running water and Hagakure's voice blur together. It's nice, actually. If he could be certain he'd remember, this is exactly the sort of noise he'd love to listen to before falling asleep at night.

As soon as the fortune teller's back is turned, Dandy's face falls almost instantly, and the alien hunter violently fights the urge to wrap his arms around the other's waist and bury his nose between Hagakure's shoulder blades.

They've hooked up one time.

This is so pathetic.]

Have you ever seen one up close?

[He means a dolphin.

Once again, the hand that isn't smeared in soap gingerly brushes masses of hair from Hagakure's back and over his shoulders. Dandy then begins to scrub away, splaying the palm of that clean hand flat over the right half of the younger man's upper backside, moving up and down in generous strokes.

Maybe a massage will cool him down.]

They're so weird, man!

They blow all of their snot atcha through those holes in the middle of their heads. 'S basically a nostril! Or one big face bootyhole.

I don't like it.

[Dandy, haven't you seen stranger things?!]

They might as well puke their water back up the regular way- Through the mouth.

Edited 2022-08-17 15:01 (UTC)

[Hagakure tenses up a little when he feels Dandy's hand on his back. This is a place that he's always been alone in, so it's still pretty wild to be feeling another person's touch on him. But the tension quickly leaves him once he gets used to it, and he sighs contentedly as Dandy scrubs away. Yep, this is nice alright.]

Nah, not up close. 'cept for maybe at a zoo? But even still, there was glass separatin' me an' them.

[Speaking of between Hagakure's shoulder blades, Dandy will find a scar there if he's taking in the details of the younger man's back while he scrubs it. It's not terribly big and in no way recent judging from the way it's faded and stretched.]

You're right, though! It's a big nostril. When they come up to the surface, they blow all the air they'd been holdin' in outta it. They don't have gills, so they gotta hold their breath the same way we do.

[He lets out a laugh.]

But yeah, it's pretty gross when you put it like that.

The ocean in general is such a weird and creepy place... There's so much we don't know about it, 'specially in the deepest parts. That's where they say the Old Gods sleep, 'cause it's not easy for any ol' regular person to come and wake 'em up.

[Casually talking about Old Gods like they aren't a major occult topic, it's fine.]

[He notices the scar. There's no telling what it's from- An accident, abuse, hell, it could even have just been there, popping up out of nowhere, although Dandy makes the mental note to wash around it.

For some reason, the initial flinch hurts Dandy's feelings. He curses himself for being so sensitive.

Dandy soon snakes a sudsy hand over Hagakure's left side, feeding into his urges and resting his chin on the psychic's shoulder. He hopes that his current bathing partner's lack of experience and googly-eyed naivete will keep him from holding contempt for such a sentimental stranger.

Are they really strangers anymore?

Strangers, friends. After time, in years and that spent apart...

It all begins to blur together.]

You okay, baby?

[Perhaps it's ironic. Why, there's an old god right here, only he too is largely unaware of the strange, eternity-long existence that he's lived. Starting at the end of his first week in New Rapture, things started going awry in his head and they are only worsening still.]

People used to say that about space.

There's still plenty of uncharted territory, though. Even now! Hundreds of years into the future.

[Dandy's voice gains a faltering wilt, a subtle vibrato, the kind that you'd blink and miss.]

Do you mind if I take my time?

It's been a while since I've gotten the chance to do something like this.

[With somebody else. For somebody else.

Don't say it-]

So I'd like to savor it, if ya don't mind.

[Quickly, he'll add-]

You're so cute.

[Part of Hagakure had hoped that Dandy would do this. He lets out a pleased hum and tips his head to nuzzle Dandy's cheek.]

Whaddya mean? Of course I'm okay. This is honestly the best I've felt in a long, long time.

[There's no mistaking the sincerity in his voice- he means it. He's been living a nightmare for gods know how long, and this has been such a welcome reprieve.

...though he guiltily adds:]

Verbal kick in the ass 'n' all. I know I needed it.

[And he really does intend to take all of Dandy's advice to heart, no matter how harshly it comes at him. Funny enough...he finds himself wanting to be better for this man. Dandy is far more than a stranger. Maybe even more than a friend.

He's probably moving too quickly with this. It's new and shiny, he could be getting trapped in the novelty...

But he's pointedly not paying such concerns any mind. He brings a hand up to place on Dandy's. His cheeks burn hot as he responds, but...]

And has anyone told you that you have a voice that can make even a grown-ass man like me melt?

Take as long as you need. I'm not goin' anywhere, even if I get all pruny. [Playfully:] You'll just have to find a way to enjoy that too.

[After a moment of content silence, he makes a sweeping motion with his other hand.]

I wonder where this falls in the "uncharted territory" scale, between the bottom of the ocean and the depths of space. 'cause this definitely feels like a big enough adventure to compare 'em to.

[It feels so unbelievably corny to say, but it's true. These are waters he's never navigated, but at least he has a guide.]

[And what is Dandy supposed to say to that?

With compliments, he can be a little too eager to accept any praise that comes his way, often seeing or misinterpreting hope to be where it shouldn't, much to his own detriment. What's it like to reach for and pick out a rose without being scratched by its thorns.

Dandy decides that he can be a tad more indulgent, moving his palms upwards to grab and rub against either side of Hagakure's chest, messing around with whatever he can get a hold of while pressing his own body flush to the clairvoyant's.

This is close to what Dandy wanted anyway.]

Grown? You?!

[He chooses to focus on a different part of that statement.]

You've never even had your own place!

Don't be silly. As far as I'm concerned, you're still a baby.

[Dandy snorts. Again, weird thing to say to a guy you just fucked?! But(t), okay, sir...]

I'm glad you're likin' it, though.

[He neglects to reply with the truth.

That he echoes the sentiment. One night stands for Dandy only feel easy because there's so much he typically ignores.

Dandy can't help but nuzzle back- That stubble feels good, damn it.]

So! How does it feel to get lucky on your first date? Dunno if we can call it that, exactly, but...

It felt a little fishy when you came to see me, I'm not gonna lie.

[He is absolutely lying.]

I let you in 'cause I like ya.

[Dandy was so happy to see him.]

Edited 2022-08-17 18:19 (UTC)

[There isn't a whole lot to grab as Dandy well knows, but there's just enough to get a hold of. There are also Hagakure's nipples, of course, and he'll happily allow them to be touched as much as anything else.

With a satisfied moan directly into Dandy's ear, he arches up into that touch. When he relaxes, Dandy's up against him...and he can feel. Everything. While the running water against him may be hot, a shiver runs up his spine regardless.]

Mmmmph. [He wheezes out a breathy laugh.] Okay, okay, you've got me there. But I'm legal to drink! That's an adult thing!

[Either way, the point stands. Of course, Dandy's voice is but one of many things that Hagakure enjoys about him. His storied history has made Hagakure's first sexual experience about as exciting and memorable as he could hope for, and even now, he knows exactly the best places to touch in order to incite a reaction. More than that, though, is how kind he's been. He has made Hagakure feel so valued and appreciated, but also hasn't hesitated to provide a little bit of tough love when it's needed.

Hagakure really hasn't met a person quite like Dandy before. Sweet but spicy, silly but serious when it matters... He's not perfect, but who is? Perfection would just be boring anyway.

Hagakure smiles when Dandy nuzzles back, then silently offers up his neck for a kiss should the spaceman feel so inclined.]

It feels great.

[He kind of blurts it out without thinking, but when this fact occurs to him he does his best not to get flustered about it. He just rolls with it.]

I mean, I didn't come over with any of this in mind. Seriously, I didn't. You probably know how it goes better than I do. One thing leadin' to another...

[And here they are, taking a post-coital shower that almost feels like a second round at this point.]

I'm real glad you let me in though. Even outside of all of this, you're my friend, y'know? I wanna be there for ya when I can, 'cause I've never really gotten the chance.

So you're old enough to make bad decisions legally.

[Be still, his beating "heart!"

He murmurs the aforementioned lines with all the hokey, false-bravado he can muster, doing his best to act as though those moans won't be etched into his shoddy memory somehow. They're so real... And so much deeper than the oddly manufactured sounds you'd hear from a professional actress, bouncing up and down on the kind of fleshy meat-stick that you really only do see in dirty pictures.

Dandy hardly ever gets the chance to be with anybody young, in part because beautiful young women are seemingly at the top of the dating food chain. They've got so many potential suitors, they'd be looking for a winning combination of handsome, well-mannered, and rich. Unfortunately, Dandy is shady, sloppy, and often likely to pinch stray Woolongs poking out of an old ladies' purses.]

Suuuure, yeah! That's a recipe for maturity. Tooootally.

[He's just going to pinch those nips for good measure. Dandy?! That's not washing...

The alien hunter will take this opportunity to plant that desired kiss, though.]

Oh, good~!

[He continues posturing, as if this isn't the best possible thing to happen to him in a while. When your life is a series of bon voyages, getting close to people is difficult.

It's always easier if you don't say shit.]

I never really thought about it this way, but I guess if your first time was with a dude, it'd be easier.

They usually aren't this, uh, smuh-huh-hooth, baby. For example...!

D'you have any idea what the "clitoris" is?

[Somehow, he figures that Gooby does not.]

The first time some girl mentioned it to me, I thought it was just another fancy word for a venereal disease!

Safe to say, she wasn't very happy with me.

[DANDY YOU FORGET SO MUCH

BUT THAT YOU REMEMBER?!]

Edited 2022-08-18 05:30 (UTC)

[The transition from a rub on his nipples to a pinch makes Hagakure yelp. Ow??? He's also quick to stammer, albeit jokingly:]

Hey now! It still means I'm grown in some way! I never said I was the picture perfect adult.

[Far from it. Even before Hope's Peak, Hagakure's late teens and early adulthood were filled with nothing but stupid, costly mistakes. He's an absolute disaster and he knows it. Honestly, he could stand to feel a bit more remorse about it than he typically does. After all...how did he ever manage to face his mother when she showed concern over his financial situation? Or when she asked about the shady men hanging around the house that she had to tell to piss off? How could he tell her that everything was okay when his life had been threatened repeatedly?

...man. He's still going to have to deal with all of that if he makes it through this second game, isn't he. If it even still matters, considering the world might be in shambles.

Fortunately, none of this is anywhere near the forefront of his mind right now. All he can think about is how good Dandy feels against him, even if he's being chided in the process.]

Uhhhh...

[His face scrunches up in concentration. Does he know what that is? Well, the fact that it didn't ring a bell in the slightest is probably a good giveaway that he doesn't.]

No. The heck is that? I'm guessin' it's a girl thing?

[...that poor hypothetical girl, had Hagakure's first experience been with one.]

Oof!

[As a sort of "apology," Dandy returns to just rubbing the last remainder of foam over those sensitive areas. He's making a few mental notes- Hagakure appears to enjoy attention to his neck and isn't all too aware of what kind of touching brings him the most pleasure. He's got grand ideas of what should or shouldn't make him feel good, but in practice, has such little experience that any sort of bedroom shenanigans may as well be their own segmented, personal safaris.

Dandy's hands momentarily leave Hagakure's body- Only to replenish some of that lather, though.]

You should really stick to bros, bud.

[Dandy says that line with a snickering air of satisfaction.

It's petty of him, but he'd rather not compete with the very few (if very beautiful) women in this place for Hagakure's attention. In all fairness, Dandy is well aware that neither Hild nor Zinda are looking at either of them.

But for once, Dandy doesn't really care.

He's not looking at them either.]

Love in theory and in practice aren't the same thing, most of the time.

What feels right might not look like what you've dreamed up in your meaty mind-prison.

I've learned that the hard way.

[The "apology" is easily accepted, though Hagakure wasn't all that upset in the first place. The rubbing does feel soothing, though.

The moment Dandy draws back, Hagakure peers over his shoulder as though he's missing that touch already.]

C'mon, man! You can't fault me that much. I've barely just started my sex life!

[He complains, in complete contrast to how he was asking to be seen as an adult just moments ago.]

...I think I get whatcha mean, though.

[It's because he's so new to love that there's still so much to discover about himself that he never would have considered otherwise. Tonight was a perfect example of that. He was so convinced he would've only been satisfied with a woman, but his experience with Dandy blew that assumption out of the water.

"Blew." Yeah, it sure did, huh.]

I kinda doubt I'll lose my attraction to girls, but tonight really has been eye-opening. I'd definitely do something like this again with you.

[Ah. He turns around to hastily add:]

I-If! That's something you'd like too, obviously!

[He's being surprisingly candid, but he feels that strongly about this. He'll even repeat as much in the morning, after a lot internal processing.]

[Dandy is in the middle of getting his hands ready, loading up on soap-juice or whatever-the-fuck body wash they have available, when there it is, creeping up on his psyche again.

The gravitational pull, or perhaps more aptly described "yank," of dread.

He makes prolonged eye contact with Hagakure, searching for an answer to his own dismay within the other's face, scanning his eyes, nose, and stubbly chin, before realizing-]

The splashy part? Or the sploogey one?

[They've been involved before.

Not them, per se, but versions of them.

A long, long time ago.

It didn't end well.]

If this is your way of askin' for another handy J, I was gonna do that for you for free, baby, don't...

[He lets out a pained breath.

The walls are starting to look like shrubs to Dandy, although in reality, he's still in the same place, water pouring over his scalp.]

I think I'd like that.

I just don't know if it'd be a good idea.

...Huh?

[Hagakure's face falls. He's not upset, exactly, but he's certainly confused and concerned.

He tentatively reaches out, gauging what sort of reaction he'll receive. He doesn't know what to do. Not really.]

How come? Was it something I said? Or did?

["Is it me?"

Dandy just said he'd like doing this again in theory, so it can't really be that. Hagakure just can't figure it out on his own. There's a cloud in his mind blocking out all of the perfectly logical reasons why continuing this romantic endeavor here of all places is a bad idea. What if one of them dies? And even if they both survive, where would they go afterword?

There are times when getting caught up in the present could be a trap, and this is one of them.]

[Dandy doesn't outright reject the outstretched hand, not at first.

But he doesn't take it either.

Instead, he kneels.]

...No.

[Dandy's head is clearly somewhere else, with the way his eyes have just glazed over. He hesitates to share more information. A wash of it comes rolling back, yet another rough tide from an emotional tsunami.

All he can parse out are a few details of "The Beginning."

They're in a lush field of greenery, there's some kind of tree-]

I'll do your legs, c'mhere.

Dee?

[Okay, so "confused and concerned" doesn't even begin to cover it anymore. Hagakure immediately drops down to join Dandy. Like hell he's just going to offer up his legs like nothing's happening?! His eyes dart nervously, scanning for any sort of recognition in Dandy's own eyes but finding none. This is bad. This is really bad, right? But Hagakure has absolutely no idea what is possibly going through the other man's mind right now, so all he can do is offer a hand. Two, actually.

Gently, he reaches out once again to put his hands on Dandy's shoulders- a sincere attempt to be comforting. The water from the shower head is coming down at an odd angle now, but Hagakure does his best to protect Dandy from getting hit in the face with the stream.

If only he could protect Dandy from the rough waters in his mind.]

Come on, Dee. What's wrong?

Nothin'.

[Even amidst his cosmic haze, Dandy can't shy from the legitimate concern being thrown his way. He is touched, so much so that he misery consumes him, misery and guilt.

This is nice. Again, there goes the ripple in the metaphysical pond, the one constituting the misery and mayhem of his eternal existence. Equal parts a blessing and a curse.

He's been given the opportunity to experience all of life'es pleasures through time, everything good and great about the mundane, over and over again. Joy seems to feel as though it's redundant, but Dandy would argue that isn't necessarily the case. Even similar experiences can feel slightly different, why, one could taste the same kind of ice cream at the same time of day, standing in the same spot...

But the whether could be different. Or the person who passes you by.

So why then?

Why can he not escape this?]

Not right now.

It's just that I don't have a great track record when it comes to this kinda shit.

I don't even know why.

[Ah. So that's it. Dandy hasn't had a lot of luck with romance either. Part of Hagakure had wondered about it- just a tiny thought in the back of his mind during their amazing time in bed together.

"How is this guy even single? How hasn't some lucky lady snatched him up already?"

Is it just that no one's really seen Dandy the way that he does? Has no one else managed to find the brilliant diamond hidden beneath that rough exterior? No. It has to be more than that. He can't have been the only one.]

I'm sorry.

[First and foremost, he wants to get that out there. He brought this on.]

...I could do a reading, if it would help you feel better. A lotta people come to me when they have problems in their love lives.

[Normally this is when he'd throw in the sales pitch, but he doesn't even consider it. He's more than willing to do this for free.]

I just... I know sayin' "well, maybe it'll be different with us" doesn't mean shit. There's only two ways to find out, and one of 'em can save you more pain.

[There's an unmistakable melancholy in Hagakure's tone when he talks about his own potential future like this, because he absolutely wants to believe it could work without getting his talent involved.

After all, what if his vision confirms that it will end badly?]

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this dialogue is so cursed

Icki you can't distract me from the pain

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