bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

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CALL ME OUT

CALL ME OUT:

Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter /

himbomb /

incelligent

*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)

kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder)

moneyballer available on request

Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)

googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy)

edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)

madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game)

aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party)

portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party)

confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag)

feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo)

pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet)

screechy

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey! I'd rather it be your mind than your erection, it's like we are shit out of luck over here-

[Maybe he really is on antidepressants? Yo, that'd be a plus actually, even if it makes this situation harder... And even if he isn't, maybe this is practice.

He'll bring a hand back to Robert's cock again, running his thumb over a vein that feels like it really is going to pop from the pressure. Thankfully, he manages to grab hold of the bottle and switches his hand for his tongue and lips again, although not before quickly exclaiming-]

Oh fuck yeah! We are so back.

[This motion is fairly swift, especially since he's concentrating, and he's able to uncap the thing and pour a little bit over his three-fingered hand, choosing to go all the way down on Robert this time, no matter how uncomfortable.

He slips one finger inside of Robert, doing his best not to breathe fire from the excitement he's feeling. Robert is warm and wet and through his own haze of pleasure it's hard ~~and he's hard~~ not to spill white on white sheets from the feeling of being inside him. His willingness and desperation, as well as his fucking stamina, Christ, are so unexpected.

Flambae was sure he was some kind of passing interest, yet another flavor for someone to try and spit out when it got too hot or goddamn controversial, but maybe there's a chance for the two of them after all.

He'll just need to make himself useful.

Shit, he needs to come up for air, that urge to cough is reckoning again-]

Fuck, Robert.

[He's breathless again.]

Did you know you could get this wet?

[ Flambae has no idea apparently how close Robert has come to losing his erection as well. At least it feels like it. But even with all the fumbling and bumbling around and stupid 1-intelligence-stat comments, he'd probably still be hard as a rock so nevermind. Bob Bob has it down bad.

Certainly not evidenced by the way he almost squirms when Flambae runs his thumb over that vein on his cock.

And definitely not by the way the entire room is spinning when his entire length just disappears into Flambae's mouth. Or the finger that slips inside of him in a rush of adrenaline. ]

Oh, shit—

[ Combine all that with that dirty, filthy question that he's asked when the firestarter surfaces for air and his lips are glistening and he has a certain lusty look about them, and ...

Well.

Robert can't hold back anymore. His stamina is something to write home about, but he's been strung along so much and how many times do you actually think he's had another man's finger in his ass (especially in recent years?) and — it's just too much. It sends him right over the edge in an orgasm he barely has time to think about let alone warn for.

His hands come up over his face again. He feels like a teenager who just got his first handjob from Becky from 2nd period math class. But damn, it feels good ... ]

[He swallows Robert's load without thinking, unfortunately, and while he's a little surprised, Flambae appears pretty largely unbothered. He wipes off some residue from the side of his mouth with his thumb, in quite a similar motion to the way he had removed the blood all those years ago, only there's no malice behind his eyes this time.

Usually, before men get to engaging in this kind of thing with other people, they'll play around in bed or in the bathroom by themselves, but Flambae has a sneaking suspicion that maybe Robert has not done so much of that.

He unceremoniously checks the state of his lubed up finger first, and, hey! The guy really did clean up after all, then immediately moving to loom over Robert a little bit. It is best that he does not get too close, after all, the poor thing is embarrassed no matter what he'll try to say, so maybe they're due for a little off-color humor to make things seem more... Familiar.]

So...

I guess this settles the score then, huh? One for one?

[He says it, joking a little, but, shit.

There's too much gentleness in it.]

Robert!

Are you... How do you say, fine? Okay?

[Ugh, those marks he left with his own mouth are starting to look nasty. He'll have to make sure they tend to them properly- They'll be sexier after they've healed up a bit.

Maybe Flambae will get a chance to see them tomorrow.]

Is there anything I can do for you?

There's no need to be shy.

[ Robert is so lucky he didn't see Flambae wipe his mouth like that or he might have, somehow, come again. Not really, but it's actually a bit crazy how attractive the man can be considering how he's missing a tooth and his personality is often a complete disaster.

It's also a good thing he didn't see that looking at his finger or he might die on the spot and not in a good way. Of course he washed, even though he had no idea where they would go or what would happen on this date night.

He still doesn't. ]

Yeah. [ He pushes out a puff of air and drops his hands, amused and resigned all in one. ] I guess it does.

[ Fair is fair, he supposes. He fully intended on holding out and all too, but having your ass intimately touched by your crush xoxo is actually far more intense than he could have imagined. The dispatcher definitely was not warming himself up in bed (he has no bed) or the bathroom.

His heart does funny things when he's asked after, once again because it feels unexpected and he just isn't used to it. Not from Flambae for sure, but not from most other people either. He ends up giving a little half smile that could either be interpreted as embarrassed or amused. ]

I'm ... doing great, actually.

[ It's the truth, even if he did finish accidentally. Even with the most drawn out blowjobs of the century or perhaps all time, he's been having a lot of fun on this ... excursion.

He thinks about apologizing for coming so suddenly too but considering Flambae literally gulped it down like it was nothing ... maybe it's a non-issue. ]

Maybe a little rustier than I thought.

Edited 2026-01-03 05:17 (UTC)

[The affirmation helps Flambae relax a little, and he nods after Robert confirms that he's doing okay. Perhaps it's becoming ever more so evident, but he might be more of a nonverbal communicator when it comes to more intimate emotions, even cracking something of a half-smile.

This is so tender, he's almost thankful that reaching out to touch Robert is totally out of bounds, considering his fucking goopy fingers and all. He always has some shitty comeback, stupid or otherwise, but he can't really think of one.

It's because despite everything, Robert doesn't look dumb, or pathetic, or laughably miserable. He seems legitimately at ease, something that doesn't often happen, even when the Z-team is having a good time.]

You should really consider greasing the wheels every so often. Even during a dry spell, Robbo~!

[Some of Flambae's excitement has gone down, but weirdly enough, he doesn't seem angry about it. The fact that he's at least earned himself a tie, in some twisted way, is enough.

The sex can come later. Now he has a little better of an idea what Robert is and isn't so keen on.]

Neglect yourself for too long, and you'll get violent.

Then even the most fucked up of fucked up bullshit will feel like...

[He mulls over his words with a low murmur.]

Something else.

[And yes, unfortunately. The finishing in his mouth is sort of a non-issue- As long as it doesn't get in his hair or his eyes he's pretty okay with it. It just means he was doing that great of a job! But was he?! Don't give him this win.]

Edited 2026-01-03 05:39 (UTC)

[ It would be acceptable, in fact, for Flambae to clean off his fingers or something. Really, it would. Robert wouldn't disintegrate if he's left alone for two seconds. He also feels a little bad though since Flambae was sporting a formidable hard-on and he didn't get to finish like Robert did ... Even if that was unplanned and all.

But first he raises a brow and answers in his near monotone sort of voice: ]

Okay thanks, coach. I'll keep that in mind.

[ It's not like he was in a "dry spell" on purpose. Well, it kind of was on purpose but only because he's been solely focused on Mecha Man and Shroud, and then later the Z-team despite all of them being horny as fuck probably 24/7. Something tells him if this ends up becoming a steady thing, he won't have to worry too much about keeping the wheels greased.

So he moves on with a roll of his hand gesturing at Flambae's ... somewhat still living erection. ]

Do you need to, um ... [ Wait why is this awkward ] Can I help?

[ He would! It's fair. Either way he won't make a big deal out of it. At least he'll try not to do that, and he thinks he's better at things like that than Flambae here. ]

[He can't say he likes being called that, as someone who has zero enthusiasm for most traditional sports. Flambae is a fan of things like mixed martial arts and boxing, and finds sports like basketball or baseball a little silly. If the Dispatch writers make me eat my words next season, I am sure I will regret typing this. Football, at least, has all the men in tight little pants and the halftime show. Beyonce, in theory, could also be there (again). Swimming holds a similar appeal- Men with nice bodies in little speedos, leaving very little to the imagination, what's not to like! Well, probably the rubbery swimcaps and goofy googles, but, eh. Most of it is nice.

Still, Robert's offer is sweet, no matter how awkward.

As a little treat, he'll respond with a cool, nonchalant tilt of the head, sliding off the bed and getting on to his feet.]

Sure.

Come with me to the bathroom.

[That way they can both get cleaned up if they need to. And, just in case they can get a good shot of anything nice-]

Bring your phone.

[ Being argued with about sports and whether calling Flambae 'coach' is appropriate would just make Robert sigh deeply and question yet again what he's doing here with this particularly stupid man. So it's for the best that stays on the inside and they just focus on the nice little parts of Robert being mindful and helpful. Much better idea! ]

Okay.

[ He's a little curious by the invitation, having been taken off guard several times this evening. But he takes two seconds to center himself and then slides off the bed as well, scooping his phone off the sheets along the way.

Getting somewhere they can clean up a bit actually sounds great too.

The best part of all of this is that Beef is just having the time of his little life outside of the bedroom, having beautiful dog dreams of shrimps and toys he isn't actually going to fetch. ]

[It's a good while later, and considering the fact that they both have work bright and early tomorrow, the two of them should probably be asleep. Flambae himself is a bit of a chatty doomscroller. If he's not on TikTok or Insta, he'd be cruising Grindr or FaceTiming Prism, who speaking of which, has received a brief if cryptic text message about the goings on of this particular night.

The former ex-con is seated cross-legged across a slightly damp bath mat, now clad in a pair of tiny, cheetah print Calvin Kleins, with dark, freshly washed hair falling over broad shoulders. He presses a clean paper towel against the bite on Robert's shoulder, doing his best to ensure that the wound is dry prior to applying any ointment.]

So...

[He's seated Robert over the (closed) toilet, having had the decency to place a clean towel under the dispatcher while he examines the injuries Flambae himself is responsible for. In the heat of the moment, he may or may not have totally disregarded the fact that the other man has no healing factor whatsoever.

Which again... Is incredibly stupid, seeing as his scars are all fucking visible, but okay.]

I have good news and bad news. News that will make you go "Fuck yeah!" and "Boooo," respectively. Alright? Okay!

[It's mostly stupid chitchat. He's trying to keep the mood light again, looking for any signs of potential laughter, as if his cock wasn't in Robert's mouth a little ago. There is something downright absurd about how Flambae continues to babble like he isn't still thinking about how Robert tasted, and how timidly the dispatcher had been while covering his face when he finished, like he was some sort of cute horny Christmas present shyly waiting to be unwrapped.]

First of all, I was relieved to discover that your little dog is just fat! Not dead.

It is a good thing he is not allergic to seafood, because... I am pretty sure he has consumed all of it, whatthefuck...

[He is there as well, watching Robert curiously from the ground. Flambae had let him in while Robert had been brushing his teeth.]

He has expensive taste! Who knew? Meanwhile, you spend your days hobbling around and eating the kind of crusty sweets you find at a gas station...

[ASLKDJFAKDJFSDJFSDJF]

Covered in foul... Like, what kind of cream is that? I swear it is the same shit they put in all those weird-smelling unsold lotions only your Aunties with man troubles buy. You know, like the ones they sell on discount at Bed, Bath, and Beyond? Anyway-

[The Twinkie slander continues.]

And second! It turns out... Blue really is your color. But, mmm, maybe the red... And the purple? Not so much.

[Flambae tilts his head to the side, wondering if he should ask the next question. It's personal.

But that's what sex is for, isn't it? To loosen things up.

To make the talking easier.

He doesn't necessarily mind that Robert will probably do the opposite of telling him everything. Flambae thinks that he is going to have fun finding it all out.]

But... Were you the one who picked it out?

[The SDN uniform is standard issue, and the MechaMan getup is probably in line with the ones the prior iterations had. This may be an extremely roundabout way of going about this, but for most heroes, it's easy to tell what their favorite colors are.

But for Robert, is it really blue? Or is it just what everyone else has put him in?]

Edited 2026-01-04 09:25 (UTC)

[ Work tomorrow is certainly going to be interesting, that's for sure. Robert hadn't given it much thought at first, but as the night draws on, it's becoming less easy to avoid. Is it going to be more difficult that they'll probably have gotten very little sleep, or that he's going to have to look at Flambae without dropping his eyes to his lips, or his chest. Or lower. Imagining the cheetah print Calvin Kleins he's looking at right now as he dutifully sits the lid of a toilet and lets himself be looked over.

Originally he'd wanted to protest— he's had much, much worse — but it's clearly important to Flambae, and so he kept his mouth shut. Doesn't even laugh that apparently his body being an actual jigsaw puzzle of various battles and fights isn't enough of a reminder to a superpowered idiot that he doesn't just heal.

His head tilts slightly at the rambling, and there's a little smile on the side of his lips. ]

Okay, well. Counterpoint: Beef doesn't have expensive taste, he'll eat literally anything.

[ he looks at the dog criminal in question (whom he loves very very much). ]

You were a very naughty boy when I wasn't looking, weren't you Beef? Weren't you...

[ It's honestly a miracle that the dog isn't imploding from all the shrimps he ate. Of course Beef just looks back at Robert like he's the best most special, wonderful, amazing person in the whole wide world and it's clear that the dispatcher isn't about to scold him further.

Just. He wanted some of those leftovers too, damn. It would not have happened if he hadn't so impatiently taken his host's face in his hands, kissing him like he was starved and the pasta wasn't doing the trick at all. But still.

He ... doesn't really regret that. ]

Second counter: it's ... best not to think about what a twinkie is made out of.

[ His smile is kind of weird and fond for what just came out of his mouth, but that's because the way Flambae went on about it was kind of endearing actually. He has these larger than life descriptions about family dynamics that Robert doesn't have a clue about but are quite apparently important to him even in silly throw away comments. It might be a little difficult to not imagine that he's eating a twinkie full of nasty lotion, but Robert is confident he can overcome (so the twinkies are staying).

As for the more serious of Flambae's "news", Robert blinks, briefly caught off guard. Once again, these aren't the type of questions he's asked all that often. Even seemingly simple things like "what's your favorite type of donut?" weren't a full on attempt to get to know the man behind the desk. It was an ADHD thing. And a way to make fun of him.

He doesn't feel like he's being made fun of here. ]

You know, I ... do like the color blue. But I'm also not the one that picked it, really. I guess I could have really rebelled against the legacy if I decided to go out in yellow or something, but it didn't cross my mind.

[ even his whole One Other Outfit aside from his SDN uniform is a dark blue. He must just like blue.

He casts a glance down at himself for a moment and then to Flambae again. ]

How's the damage? I'm still fit for duty tomorrow, I imagine.

[ Physically. Mentally, he thinks it might be a close one. Most of it's in a positive way, though. The sort of light, fluttery excited way you feel when your crush likes you back, or you have flashbacks of his dick in your mouth and it makes your insides feel all squiggly.

Yes, tomorrow at work is going to be a challenge indeed... ]

Edited (wow i stopped being able to spell) 2026-01-05 01:03 (UTC)

[When Robert smiles, he can't help but take a closer note of the lines around the other man's mouth. They're visible in his stupid little photo ID, something he has absolutely clowned in text messages with Prism, who has also called him out on multiple occasions regarding his Robert obsession. Thankfully, she has always done it in private- A true friend. God, what the hell is he going to tell her?! He hopes she'll open with one of her hilarious, quippy questions, the kind that's somehow straight to the point and scathing all at once.

In some ways, he's a bit jealous of Beef- Robert only looks at him with love and nothing else. Just sweetness isn't quite Flambae's vibe, but... The rollie-pollie of a dog has really been the only living thing that MechaMan has really been able to any love to in recent years.

The fiery hothead doesn't even realize that he's mirroring Robert's expression unintentionally, the corners of his own mouth turning slightly upwards as he listens, doubting the integrity of the Twinkie. Maybe that was the dead giveaway that Robert wasn't straight- That he'll swallow anything.]

Yellow will make you look sickly.

[He quips shortly, applying ointment to the now properly dry wound. It's strange, he was so sure he wanted to destroy MechaMan completely, but was that it? Were all the blows they exchanged simply an excuse to touch him? Even the impulse to engulf Robert in flames, though the kneejerk of rage had definitely prompted it...

To engulf someone's body wholly in fire is to consume them. Flambae can't say he's ever done that before.

And in this instance, he's really, really glad he hasn't.]

Let's just say you're lucky you'll be sitting on your ass all day.

[So Robert seems to really like blue, noted. Blue daisies for tomorrow it is.

Honestly, Flambae wishes he had the right sarcastic comment ready to go right now, but he's distracted.]

You've gone out in the suit when you've looked worse, haven't you? God, you're such a fucking idiot b-

[Right, he hates being called that.]

Baby. Idiot baby... Whatever.

[ALSKDJFAKSJDFASJDFKAJSDF]

You don't need to be doing that anymore.

Seriously! Otherwise, I will fucking kill you.

[don't say that so casually it

makes it seem even more sincere]

Edited 2026-01-05 07:43 (UTC)

[ It's good that Flambae doesn't realize he's smiling, since that means that Robert can secretly admire it. He doesn't see the man smiling enough. At least, not when he's being a dick or just riffing with Prism. Of course he's glad those two are tight, this has nothing to do with any of that, but it's nice to have a smile for his own too. Even if he doesn't know that the man is thinking about the lines around his mouth or how Beef is loved so much. ]

No yellow then. Noted.

[ He was definitely not planning to switch to that, anyway.

And Flambae is, of course, correct. His job is at a desk now, with the occasional foray into battle with the new suit. It used to sting a lot more to think about than it does right here, right now, with a man so gently taking care of these minor bites and bruises and threatening murder upon him if he tries to play the hero. It's not going to stop Robert if the time comes of course, but this isn't so bad at all.

Of course Beef gets a little confused when Flambae really starts going, talking about idiot babies (Robert knows what he really wanted to say) and killing him. He wobbles up to Flambae on his bathmat and sniffs him a few times before deciding that he's not actually a threat. Bless his tiny dog heart, he sneezes and plops over beside the living space heater then, content. ]

I guess ...

[ Robert gets thoughtful for a moment, and hesitates. Because he's not sure how much he should say. How much he can say, or if it will ruin the moment or anything like that. But since the opening is there, he gestures down to his body, riddled with scars and bruises as it is. His other hand rubs at the back of his neck. ]

I was never really thinking about these when the big picture seemed so much more important.

[ And that is why Chase said Robert's always been good. Too good, maybe. But that's neither here nor there.

He is kind of implying that if trouble arose, he would definitely run out to the field with some hickeys and bite marks if something dire was happening. Fingers crossed that won't be the case anytime soon. Flambae is safe from having to kill Mecha Man once again. He just wishes he knew how to say he appreciates him looking out like that without either sounding insincere on accident or too awkward or too cheesy...

Well he's maybe been a little cheesy a few times tonight already. ]

If you're really good tomorrow maybe I'll even ask you to spot me in the gym.

[And in a way, that was a part of what made MechaMan so admirable. He was always efficient and did good quality work, but it reveals a much sadder truth about the man behind the suit. So he gave his all for the city, and it left him out to dry like that? SDN may have offered him an out, but it’s a corporation at the end of the day. Blonde Blazer may be their sweet, goody-two-shoes type messenger, but she’s more the face than the brains of the operation.]

If not me, then fucking somebody.

[But he’d like it to be him!

Flambae eyes Beef with an air of caution, although he ultimately does not respond. Is this pudgy little thing judging him?! After so unceremoniously making a mess of his kitchen and snacking on fucking seafood…]

Lifting all alone is not safe, for you! Imagine, you have cheated death so many times, and then, DUN-DUN…!

[is he really pausing on the wound care to put on this accented onomatopoeia yes he is]

You are done for reals. Your legacy hero life, ended! By a shitty metal disk with a glory hole.

[There’s so many more questions Flambae would like to ask, especially while Robert is willing to indulge him.]

What is it about the hero thing that you loved so much?

[Flambae has his own reasons for it. Supervillainy had been appealing, in a way, because it was the one “job” he could have that would allow him to be totally true to himself, to perhaps the worst degree.

He had been in a pretty bad way, anyway. No matter how loudly he boasts about his perfect physique or overall awesomeness, he’ll switch on a dime when he’s feeling low.]

Was it the doing good while getting your hands dirty?

[It also seems like Robert hasn’t done much outside of work.

Including. The screwing kind of doing.]

You are so one-track minded.

[Here, he looks Robert directly in the eye.]

Are you like that when it comes to dating as well?

[This is his way of asking Robert if he’s seeing other people. It wouldn’t be uncommon!

Flambae had been, but Robert warrants an exception.]

[ Robert chuckles a little at that, even if it is a little tired sounding. He did come twice and it's getting later after all. His hands go up innocently. ]

Alright, someone. Promise.

[ No guarantees that if he asks Flambae he won't just make out with him in the locker room instead though. Damn, he really has been reborn... as a horny teenager. And yes, for the record, Beef was judging a little, but promptly stopped when he assessed that the situation was under control. He knows this fiery man. This place smells like him, so he must be alright. Also he's very warm which is perfect after you eat an entire feast that was definitely not meant for you.

Robert drops his hands and rolls his eyes up to the ceiling briefly at the same time. ]

Please don't ever refer to the weights like that again.

[ Almost everything that comes out of that tooth-missing mouth is so out of pocket. But that's really one of the things Robert likes about him, isn't it? Wild of him, but apparently you can't just choose what your heart wants most of the time. When he looks down again, he lightly pats at the place Flambae had rubbed the ointment and shrugs his shoulders a tiny bit. ]

I guess? I just like helping people.

[ It's how he was wired, etc. etc. Growing up hearing about his grandfather, and then always dealing with his dad being gone "working late" ... even hanging around Chase, he was just surrounded by heroes all the time. How could he have thought to be anything different? Even if he could, he wouldn't have. ]

It feels good ... to do good. Doesn't it?

[ Maybe Flambae shouldn't answer that.

But that's how Robert feels, anyway. Luckily for him, being a dispatcher is also helping people, and it's also doing good. So it's still a nice trade off for him. And he does get hurt slightly less. Just slightly.

He thinks of some quip to retort with about being a one track mind, but Flambae making eye contact with him suddenly and asking that question does throw him off a little bit. Robert isn't really sure what he's being asked. ]

I don't ... I'm not going to two-time you or anything if that's what you mean. I haven't been sleeping around, either. Thought that was obvious.

[ he huffs and tilts his head a little, lifting his leg to lightly press his foot against Flambae's stomach in a subtle push. ]

Don't really plan on changing that when I've got you right here.

[Flambae, surprisingly, is capable of being discreet.

It does seem as though Robert would like the affection. Flambae isn't usually one to hide his lovers, which........,,,, Makes this situation uniquely terrifying.]

Yo, hey! If you are horny enough?

[He says this as he stops to gently squeeze the fingers Robert used to pat himself, checking for residue, running his thumb over the skin just to make sure.

Good, he hasn't applied too much.

Flambae (or Chad) is currently focused on drying the second with a clean portion of the paper towel.]

Anything could serve as one of those.

You just need to be the right size! Same thing goes for the little open circle.

[YOU MEAN THE H-O-L-E?????

Regarding the hero comment:]

Yes, it does.

[While doing good does, unfortunately, feel great, the answer is still a non-committal one. Then again, it doesn't feel dishonest. So, Robert follows his heart and hardly questions things, perhaps to a fault.

If he's that used to going through the motions, how does he know if he's missed out on anything else?

Selfishly, Flambae's ecstatic that he's so fucking clueless. It means that he can quietly pick up on things that Robert doesn't even know about himself.

Aaaand then he is kicked.]

GYEH-HEH, shit, WHY-...!

[He flails a little over-dramatically, wobbling.]

I am asking because I had another date on the books for Sunday, but I'll cancel it.

[The guy's pubic hair seemed a little questionable anyway. It was almost as though his crotch was sporting its own toupe. Speaking of which, Robert hasn't shaved his face, but has he manscaped, even a little bit? These are the kinds of thing Flambae notices.]

Do not worry about your, ah-

[There's no way he can phrase it any other way-]

Lack of experience.

[DON'T SAY THAT SO CASUALLY AND FLATLY EITHER?!]

It makes you more fun to fuck.

[There's something else he wants to say, but he'll hold his tongue for now.

It's a little crazy.]

[ Robert drops his foot away again but looks at Flambae somewhat incredulously. ]

I told you not to talk about them like that, and you're going on about it? Fucked up.

[ But he sounds and looks more amused than anything. Now he wants to know if Flambae has tried to stick his dick in some kind of weird, inappropriate hole.. ???? The barbell would be too small for him though ...

Wow, Robert can't believe he has that knowledge now.

Also he thinks that Flambae can't always talk big about how much stronger he is than Robert and then flail so dramatically when he's barely nudged with a foot! This is not something he can have both ways, and Robert will see to that. However, he is just mildly humbled enough by the "lack of experience" comment that he does not yet inform his flaming dispatch-ee of this rule.

And it honestly does ... feel weird to hear that he has a date lined up for Sunday. Not that he could have predicted tonight would happen, or what would happen. It's not Flambae being an asshole for once.

As for whether he manscapes, well. His pubes definitely don't look like they're just part of a detachable toupee. So he would confidently insist that he has a leg up on that other guy.

He doesn't want to be like a jealous girlfriend all of a sudden though, even if all of this did escalate very fast. But hey, like he said before, he's a grown ass adult and he knows what he wants. Probably. He thinks he knows. He's learning to know... ]

I'm not going to tell you what to do. [ Outside of work. ] But I wouldn't mind if you ... [ HMM. ]

— were a little one-track minded about me, too.

[ Like Robert, you have no idea how obsessed with you this man is, that's not even necessary to say. But he feels like it is!! So there is that. You know Robert has a way of bottling up rageful emotions, so he probably wouldn't do well with sharing Flambae that way in the first place. Speaking of being occasionally unhinged, for good measure he adds: ]

I could always hack into his phone and scare him away.

[HE SAID IT OMG HELLO!!!! YES

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

be still his flaming homosexual hEAR T YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[Look when it comes to glory holes, he’s mostly been on the other side of them. The encounters were highly dangerous, but that had been a big part of the appeal in the first place. There was always the anonymity and plausible deniability that it came with that had helped, too.]

Aha, no, it’s not-

[Obsessed doesn’t even begin to be the half of it. Not to mention the hours he’d spent unknowingly thinking about Robert in prison, cursing MechaMan and swearing he’d get his revenge on him if he ever saw him again…

And now, he’s hearing the kind of words he almost can’t believe. He’s a grown man too, closer to middle age than he would like to be, and it’s a horrifying, wretched realization when it is so adorably uttered back to him that…

It’s so nice to be wanted, specifically, in that way. And by someone who he’s had some degree of feelings for in a while. There’s a lot more crazy things he’d do even just to get Robert’s attention, so he has to laugh at the endearing note about hacking, resting his forehead against Robert’s body while letting out the sound, then carefully wrapping his arms around the other man to pull him in.

Flambae is loud and brash, unapologetic about who he is. He’s fiercely loyal if he loves you and a total bitch to anyone else!

Chad is sensitive and can be a little quiet. There’s an insecurity to him that’s not as easily hidden by loud bluster, and that is who Robert is getting a chance to see now. He can be funny sometimes, though, and more often than not he’s a but strange.]

I don’t think he was being all that serious about-

[Me, us.]

T-things… Anyway.

[Also, having a cute little nerdy boyfriend hack into things for him just to be petty? Oh, be still his beating heart. The timid, gay teenager in Afghanistan would have eaten that shit up.]

I am pretty sure he just wanted to play a little game of grab-ass with me.

[Which, by admitting this, he’s showing his own cards a little.

Sometimes he’s so desperate to be touched, he’ll take anything.]

That’s it.

Edited 2026-01-06 19:58 (UTC)

[ Still, describing a weight-lifting tool as a gloryhole is crazy actually.

But anyway. Robert feels a little triumphant, for absolutely no reason, that it seems he won't have to harass some random dude into stepping off his man (his man? God, that's so— he doesn't know what it is or if he can even say that at this point!!! Jesus Christ).

What he's not expecting is for Flambae to turn into Chad, and for Chad to look— just for a moment— a bit small. In fact, the dispatcher thinks twice before making some silly comment as soon as the other man moves forward. He has a private, quiet little smile to himself for a few seconds before he leans into it, putting his arms around Flambae. This is absolutely hurting his heart, but not in the way it normally hurts. Is this just ... affection? Different than the kind he has for Beef or Chase, but a whole lot of caring is going on right now. ]

Cancel, then.

[ His voice is pretty even and low every day unless he's in emotional or physical turmoil, but he keeps it warm and soft between them. ]

I'll grab your ass for you plenty of times on Sunday instead.

[ No need to get some guy with toupee pubes to do it. And yes, the words are a little joking, but what Robert means between the lines is that he's serious about this. And, to emphasize with a light kiss against that frustratingly gorgeous hair, he's more than happy to keep on touching Flambae (or Chad or both). ]

Edited 2026-01-07 01:33 (UTC)

[For whatever reason, Flambae hadn’t expected Robert to return the embrace, nor could he possibly anticipate the way it makes him feel an emotion so deeply visceral, it sends him all the way back to a moment in his miserable and deeply isolating childhood that even he’s largely blacked out. His first real hug from another young man, someone whose name Flambae has not forgotten despite repressing the memory entirely, after one too many humiliating schoolyard outbursts. This is a pattern that has continued well into his adulthood hasn’t it, shouting and singeing anything and anyone who he sees as a threat, and then fleeing due to the catastrophic combination of self-hatred and shame that comes from the immediate remorse he experiences afterwards.

Robert was supposed to stand there limply with his (not so) noodley arms dangling in the air, or say something cheeky and borderline hurtful, not remind him of the first time he’d ever really been comforted by someone who wasn’t his fucking family member. It was the first fire of passion that he had ever felt, that one tinged with not just the desire to touch and be touched, but a quiver of something so much more integral to the very essence of being alive.

The need for human connection.

He had, for so long, settled on just being Robert’s adversary. Whether he was MechaMan or their straitlaced, by-the-books dispatcher, because it was the highest rung of significance he thought he could reach with him. Worst of all he was always well aware of Robert’s warmth in either form as well, whether it took the form of a firm but kind-hearted mentor or a flesh and blood hero pushing back in the fray, it just…

Didn’t seem like he’d ever be worthy of it. It still doesn’t.

The kiss to the hair is the last straw, he’s been needily clinging to the man for dear life for seconds that don’t nearly feel long enough, but suddenly lets go with a haste that seems wildly unnecessary.

That is, until he’s flinging his underwear behind him, probably so quickly that it’s likely to smack Robert square in the face to be honest, and the smell of burnt bathmat and an entire man being engulfed in flame quickly fills the room. There goes the sound of the shower curtain quickly being opened and closed as the water is turned on at full blast, and it’s apparent from both his shadow and the spout of steam that slowly lowers in origin that he has sunk down into a fetal position in the bathtub. He continues running the water until the last spindle of smoke slowly fizzles out.

Also, for reference, his smoke detector is fucking broken. He’s broken it by setting it off one too many times, and also… Fire he knows he can survive, the inconsiderate bastard.

Although the faucet is eventually turned off, he sits there in quiet embarrassment, huddled behind the curtain, naked and furious. How dare Robert be so nice about his hair!!!! After calling his ponytail greasy and saying all that shit about a touch from it being life-ending… AND getting noodles in it?!?!?!

He slumps further into fetal position. He has ruined things incorrigibly by being a stupid loveless piece of shit and probably scared the fucking dog!]

Edited 2026-01-07 07:48 (UTC)

[ Everything in those few moments happens so fast, Robert almost might have wondered if he'd lost his mind. Suddenly there is a pair of Calvin Kleins in his face and the temperature of the room has gone up exponentially, the shower is running, the curtain is being shoved-! Beef gets so startled that he farts as he leaps up from his spot next to Flambae and trots hardily out of the room (eventually to circle back in curiously).

Blinking through his confusion, Robert casually drops the underwear aside and looks to the drawn curtain of the shower. He waits until the water is off again and takes up a towel. Carefully he comes forward on his knees in front of the tub and pulls the curtain aside to look at Flambae.

He has begun to see that there are a lot of hidden aspects of the former villain that he has no idea about, but this is on a different level he thinks. There was nothing about his actions he can think of that he could have expected this sort of reaction from. Surely Flambae has never felt overwhelmed by attention. But maybe he's wrong. Or maybe there's a lot of feelings the man has been holding onto and thinking or obsessing about or puzzling through and Robert simply hasn't even scratched the surface. Honestly, he'd understand that. He's got a lot of feelings like that too, not all of them involving what feels like an entire semi-truck of emotions he has for Flambae specifically. ]

Hey, Chad.

[ He offers softly. Maybe it would be easier to be sarcastic or say something smarmy or even poke fun, but Robert doesn't want to. He wants Flambae to know how serious he is, and that his concern here is genuine. If there's going to be a fire every time he's soft with him, they need to figure that out.

Gently he holds the towel out. ]

Are you alright?

[ He doesn't think he did anything wrong per se, but he'd certainly want to know if a line was crossed. Or if he should approach things differently.

In a way it's nice though, since they're clearly learning some things together rather than feeling blindly all alone. Robert didn't know he needed that before, but he does now. ]

Did I do something?

[So much of the attention he receives is superficial or asinine, often given because the person on the other end can’t resist the insane proportions that Flambae seemingly always has on display. Tonight has pretty much confirmed that Robert too is not necessarily resistant to those charms, but he certainly seems fond of at least entertaining the idea of something more serious.

Flambae’s powers are closely linked to his pride, and losing control of them was yet another humiliating scene Robert has witnessed involving the both of them…

Hastily, he opens the shower curtain, his dark hair fully damp and sticking to his shoulders. Honestly, the sheen from the water and wetness somehow make his chest hair more prominent.

He takes the towel first.]

Quick! Say something that will piss the everloving shit out of me.

[look at him trying to be scary]

Also, am I really being pitied by a mongrel named after meat right now? Fuck, man, fuck my life.

[ His proportions are indeed insane but honestly it wasn't even those that first caught Robert's attention. Not in a romantically inclined sort of way. Somehow it was his personality. Like the little glimpses of who he is when he's not being a raging asshole. Unfortunately, Robert really likes that person. Some part of him enjoys the asshole too but that's because he's a little bit of a freak himself sometimes.

He smiles once Flambae emerges but lifts a brow at the request. ]

No.

[ Because why the fuck would he do that?

If Flambae lets him, he reaches for the towel again so he can unfold it and help him dry off a bit. At least drape it around him and his dripping hair. And no he is not paying attention to the sheen of the chest hair or anything that could even potentially be horny at the moment. ]

Beef's not pitying you, he's worried. So am I. Are you going to do this every time I, what, kiss you? Put my arms around you?

[ He's not entirely sure what triggered the fire, if he's being honest. But he will get to the bottom of it. ]

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using this icon is a little out of pocket but

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am i allowed to type the twinkie line

twinkie line is crazy

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