bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

[Sonar, as goofy as he is, is one of the team. His tangents about boobs and business may not exactly pique Flambae's particular interests, but his casual demeanor makes him more approachable than some of their less sociable teammates, Flambae included.

He's trying his best not to look too excited, but Flambae's eyes noticeably light up at the mention of "We," the fire in them burning just a tad brighter. Robert's hand is on his cheek and he is forgetting whatever he was going to say about a bouquet that would really be appropriate for Golem, something about how the flowers should probably be replaced with plastic forks to match their teammate's actual vibe.]

Without the suit? Pfft! Yeah, right.

What're you going to do? You're, like, muppet-sized compared to me.

[Is he... He's not that small!]

Tickle-Me-Robbo sounds pretty cute, though.

[The words are familiar, a similar challenge as usual, but they lack their typical haughty flavor. He's not deflecting, exactly, he's flirting, rolling his r's a little more, and taking care to look directly into Robert's eyes.]

I wasn't going to say that.

[Robert's clear comfort in a real mattress sort of goes without saying. Even Beef seemed to enjoy the privilege, and he has his own miniature doggie version.]

Screw the mattress, it's me you preferred sleeping with, no?

[He takes the hand that's on his cheek in one of his own.

Uh oh. Someone is so going to spot them, although Flambae is absolutely too distracted to really register anything like that.]

I'm pretty comfortable myself.

[ He is one of the team! That doesn't mean his eating habits aren't pretty disgusting, says the man who eats way too many twinkies to still be alive and relatively well as he is.

The prospect of getting their friend some flowers (or a bouquet of forks) together is incredibly gay and kind of cringe but also would have Robert feeling a bit excited too, if he was not being compared to a muppet right at this very moment. He's not even that small! ]

Maybe? And never say that again.

[ He held his own in the bar fight, thank you. He can beat Flambae up just fine or come for his remaining fingers. More importantly, Tickle-Me-Robbo is simply not okay.

It's weird though how charged he notices their bantering is now when he was more or less oblivious to it before. It was different before they kissed right? There was definitely not an almost tangible sexual tension between them in the air every time they butted heads. Right ... ]

Yeah. It was.

[ He answers simply, dropping his gaze to Flambae's lips. Damn, he really does like kissing.

Needless to say he's not paying attention to anyone else in the locker room right now either. For all he knows, Visi's been in here watching the whole time anyway. ]

You're surprisingly soft, you know.

[Said very seriously, although he caught that look and is eyeing Robert's lips too:]

That is because I never forget to moisturize, Robert.

Have you ever heard of-

[He saunters forward to whisper the StuPIDEST pOSSIBLE WORDS AGAINST RObERT'S LIPS-]

Body butter?

[And leans over to kiss him...

But anyone within earshot both heard that AND CAN SEE It...!!!! HELP]

Edited 2026-01-18 18:28 (UTC)

[ What just happened should not, by any means, be an electric charged bolt of sexual tension between two men in a locker room, but somehow that's what it ends up being. Thankfully Galen has moved on to save himself before he had to hear that, but anyone else nearby? They were not spared.

And the thing is, Robert knows that this is really outrageously stupid!!!!!! But it still kind of turns him on anyway, and he doesn't know what that says about him really.

He leans up into the kiss like Flambae just earned it, smirking up against his lips even as it ends. ]

Guess you'll have to teach me.

[ by

rubbing it....

on his body

I hate this i hate this whole tag too HELP CALL THE YAOI POLICE— ]

[He hates the way he feels so happy about it, about something that Robert probably views as a throwaway joke he most certainly will forget about. It doesn't matter, even the momentary acknowledgment of something so silly means so much to Flambae.

He closes his eyes and savors the kiss, trying not to shiver when he feels the way Robert's mouth twists into a cheeky little smile. Flambae isn't new to this kind of thing, exactly, and yet he's giddy all the same.

He isn't sure what to say to Robert, since this feels so much like a real goodbye, even though they'll be together again soon. His eyes drift to Robert's buttons, the ones that he so stupidly tried to undo with his teeth last night, and although he knows he should be embarrassed, the memory is a warm one.

When he finally musters up the courage to say goodbye, he hears the voice of someone always sounds like he has a cold of some sort, despite having a supposedly superpowered sense of smell.

"Oh. He's so whipped."

Which has Flambae turning around immediately. So quickly, it's... It's not quite a ballerina twirl, but damn, that was fast! Who is the whipped one... He can't tell!]

[ It isn't really a goodbye, since they'll be talking on the comm system soon enough. Still, everything feels a bit different now, regardless. The only thing that isn't different is being interrupted and gaining commentary from one of the Z-teamers.

Normally he might even laugh at how Flambae whipped around like that but —

well, speaking of whipped — Jesus Christ. ]

Alright, really funny.

[ He gives Bat Man a dry look and then glances up at Flambae as he moves to pass him. Unfortunately it is almost time to start the shift.

He's not embarrassed or put off by them being spotted though. Doesn't even care really. It's only a shame that Sonar is probably going to blab to everyone and Robert isn't sure that's how he wanted them all to find out. Without a doubt he will know that God hates him if anything is said about the body butter. Oh well. ]

We've got a shift to get to, so move along.

[There's an off-hand mention of, "Hey, hey guys, I think Flambae wants to eat him!"

Followed by a loud shriek from Flambae as he storms over, red in the face but surprisingly not yet alight-]

THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF BUTTER WE WERE TALKING ABOUT, IDIOT!

It is ass that I eat, not people-

[Caught up in his anger, Flambae is dashing over in Sonar's direction. Clearly, violence or some sort of threat is his version of damage control. Robert at least has the protection of the headset, Flambae is going to be out there with the Peanut Gallery... While the winged rat in a three piece suit emotionally pantses him in front of ex-con kindergarten. God, how humiliating.

Under his breath, he continues to mutter an array of insults.]

Do not trust the mother-fucking-flying-rabies-transmitter...! The fleas on his hairy ass of a head have clearly burrowed their way into his coke-addled brain!

[When he does reach the doorway, Flambae does stop.

There's so much hesitation in the gesture, but he's reminded of that one day the city was on fire. As a result, he does pause to look over his shoulder.

Perhaps Robert had meant it jokingly, but he had allowed for it, hadn't he? For Flambae to teach him a few things too.]

Edited 2026-01-21 06:05 (UTC)

[ Robert hustles up to step between Flambae and Sonar, hopefully, so that nobody starts on fire or turns into bat monsters or anything in between. It's just in time to hear Flambae retort with I eat ass and instantly Robert wants to change his mind and leave actually. Maybe leave all the way home. ]

Okay, alright, guys. That's enough. Let's not destroy the men's locker room first thing in the morning.

[ Damn Sonar he told you to take a hike already. Now he can't even properly smooch his boyfriend before the shift starts.

He has to settle with patting the Harvard graduate on the back. ]

Nobody is eating anybody's anything. And stop trying to call for back-up okay? We don't need your help announcing anything.

[ Hopefully that's sufficient peacekeeping, but Robert has his doubts. The effort was made though, so that's as good as he can do. Assuming he convinces Sonar to back the fuck off, he turns back to Flambae and cups his mouth to whisper at him. ]

Don't talk to them about eating ass or they'll be imagining my ass being eaten.

[ Embarrassing.

But no he was joking about the body butter thing but also serious in a "if you want to, I'm down" sort of way. ]

[Oh, he is Feeling it now. While he probably shouldn't have said that-]

This is a freaky-deaky crew Robert.

[As if the dispatcher doesn't already know.]

It is possible that a few of them have already imagined a lot worse than that.

[Sighing, Flambae gingerly pushes that singular sidebang of his further to the side.

He has no idea that Robert is, even potentially, referring to him as a boyfriend even if only in thought. If he knew, he'd be a little too happy about it. Since the mood may have been soured for kissing, Flambae reaches over to give Robert's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.]

But if any of it comes out of their mouths instead of staying in the squishy shit between their ears-

[You are one to talk, huh...]

I will fight for you.

[and lose probably rip]

I promise.

Edited 2026-01-22 01:27 (UTC)

No shit.

[ Robert is, in fact, extremely aware of the definitely worse things the Z-team has imagined about him. Most of them have made it very vocal. Sometimes even over the team chat! They still don't need to have more fuel for the fire (so to speak) and imagine him having his ass eaten.

Besides, he only wants Flambae thinking about that, which is a wild sentiment that he never would have expected himself to have until very recently.

But instead of processing that, the squeeze to his shoulder brings him back to earth and back to that statement of ... being stood up for. Not even Blazer really stands up for him (she even agreed he had a dad bod...), but it means even more when he really cares what Flambae thinks and feels about him.

He's a little speechless, actually. ]

You ...

[ Wow, suddenly he feels so lame. ]

Alright. Thanks.

[If Flambae ever finds out about the "dad bod" comment, he's going to be extremely vocal about it.

Robert's sheepishness is enough to make him laugh, although there is a different loud, warm quality to it than usual. He opens his arms wide in an inviting fashion, walking towards Robert before placing both hands on either side of his face.

Fuck the peanut gallery. He'll get out there.]

I meant what I said, Robert.

[He leans in to kiss Robert on the forehead. The gesture is an insane one, but just look at that outfit, it doesn't necessarily scream "perfect picture of psychiatric health."

Then, like it was nothing, he'll lean back and actually head to work, clapping his big dumb hands together.]

Alright! This hero is ready to roast some supervillain ass today.

Time to do this without really doing it, you know?

Edited (how did i make it worse) 2026-01-22 03:57 (UTC)

[ honestly i want that to happen.

Robert feels a lot of things suddenly at that laugh, both good and bad. Mostly good though. Why didn't he notice how sweet Flambae could be before? Does he really just have it that bad for him that he's seeing too many stars right now? Maybe. ]

I know.

[ He gently wraps his fingers around Flambae's wrists, closing his eyes as he's kissed.

Nah, he's not the perfect image of a completely sane individual, but Robert sure is grateful to have met him. A second time. For real. After the whole fire and finger thing.

Watching Flambae go for a few seconds, he huffs softly (mostly at himself) and shakes his head before he follows as well. ]

Yep. Time to work.

[After so triumphantly declaring his affection for his disheveled shell of a man, Flambae had quite the humiliating day. His dispatches went well, surprisingly, and he's still maintaining his place at the top of the leaderboard, but one too many sharp claws to the face and encounters with flame-resistant villains have left him with far more wounds than he would like.

The tears to the supersuit are fixable, but he may or may not have hightailed it out of SDN as soon as his shift was over, to embarrassed to look Robert in the eye after what Flambae perceives to have been an extremely shitty day.

It was extremely shitty because it was less than perfect, and when he feels as though he's losing out, his mind can start to warp things.

Taking refuge in complete isolation has done a lot to calm him down. He's absolutely been ignoring his phone, which has been ringing off the wazoo. Somebody has been texting him, and seeing as half the Z-team still doesn't have his number, that "somebody" is likely to be Prism or Robert. Golem also has his digits but he doesn't bother Flambae all too often, mostly sending messages in the form of absurd questions he thinks about when he's high.]

Holy shit.

[He holds a wet paper towel to a disinfected wound, wincing a little at the cut on on his cheek. The injuries hurt less than the sensation of actually having to look at himself.]

I haven't had this much red on my face since I sucked off that clown in Jakarta.

[The makeup was presumably on the clown's face and not his dick, but it says a lot that this is how Flambae remember's it.]

Man.

Red lipstick really doesn't suit me.

[He wipes off some of the blood from his lower with a thumb, then rinsing his hands in the sink and tossing the paper towel in his bathroom trash.]

I can hear the queens in WeHo right now. "H'oh, what is Marilyn Mon-hoe doing here?" Etcetera, etcetera...

[ By the end of the day, Robert is pretty exhausted. That's nothing really new, especially after a lot of mishaps in the city, but this time there's the added energy zap of having to deal with the endless teasing and/or questioning about the daisies and about Flambae and about whether or not he's just been into dicks this whole time or if he bats for both teams— you know, various things that HR should most definitely be called in for.

Of course he worries when Flambae has more than a couple little stumbles, and he's eager to check up on him and make sure he's okay when the flaming hero just ... leaves? He just leaves and doesn't say anything to Prism or to Golem or to Robert himself or anyone else.

What the fuck?

So yeah, he tried calling a couple of times, and now he's sending over texts. ]

Earth to Flambae, hello??

What the hell are you doing? Answer me.

Chad

I'm serious.

[ Alas it's all to no avail. Rubbing his face in frustration, he decides he's just going to go back over to Flambae's apartment. With his stuff packed, and Beef set with Chase for the evening (he's really going to owe him for all the dogsitting he's going to do, isn't he?), he sends off one more text. ]

I'm coming over to your place and you better let me in.

[ Sure enough he is banging on the door just a little while later. And yes he did take an Uber there. ]

[Meanwhile as all these good boyfriend texts are being sent he is making a little mustache on his face with used dental floss-]

[That's okay, one day Robert will learn that Beef is always welcome. Flambae will say absolutely nothing about it, because cooing over a cute puffy animal is so not hot and sexy, but Beef's little doggy snores and paw movements at night were so sweet.

He did fart a lot though, which almost made Flambae scream and wake up Robert.

He moves to the door with hesitation. The sounds from his movements are audible, he is absolutely stomping around, but he freezes right before turning the doorknob. He doesn't want Robert to see him like this, he doesn't look good. He hasn't responded to his texts, and it has to be the former hero, since Prism actually has the spare key...

Flambae opens the door, although he says nothing and makes no eye contact.]

[ He'll be happy to know that Beef is welcome. He just doesn't want to mess anything up by moving in with his dog immediately, you know? Even though he and Flambae have already established that being together feels like something that's been a Thing for a while, that it's so natural it doesn't even make sense. Those little insecurities and uncertainties are definitely still there though. Poor Beef. But it makes Chase happy too, so there really isn't a downside.

And maybe sometimes he does want to just be with his boyfriend without dog farts in the way.

Robert is glad the door opens, but feels a little hurt when he isn't even graced with a hello. More importantly, he sees the cut on Flambae's face and instantly frowns. ]

Why aren't you answering?

[ Pushing his way into the apartment and kicking the door shut behind him, he reaches out for Flambae. ]

Are you okay? Why did you just fucking leave and—

[ He stops and takes a breath. Okay. ]

Let me help you.

[There's an initial lack of eye contact accompanied by some fidgeting, but Flambae does step aside to let Robert through the door. Even though it may not seem like much, it's a big step.

He fights the urge to kiss him. On the cheek, forehead, lips, whatever.

It's not right.

But it was nice of him to come by in person.]

I'll be fine tomorrow.

[This is what Flambae wanted anyway. His communication about it was nonexistent and reflects his incredibly disastrous lack of ability to effectively express his more vulnerable side, but, eh, it is what it is.]

These boo-boos will go bye-bye-

[He waves on that last "bye," sheepishly and like a fucking idiot, with his shoulders hunched. Somehow, the image of it is so much more comical because he still looks like a giant.]

After I wake up, and I just...

I dunno.

I'm not very fun when I'm not happy.

[ok but that is like. all the time most of the time wtf r u talking about]

Or beautiful.

[He bites one side of his lip. No, this is not a Twilight reference.]

I feel hideous actually.

[Since Robert is reaching for him, he will reach back.

Taking the dispatcher's hand is instinctive. Like Robert sleeping over, this feels right, too.]

Edited 2026-01-23 06:01 (UTC)

[ At least he's allowed to walk inside. Robert is frowning a bit as he studies Flambae, trying to figure him out and finding that it's more difficult than originally imagined. He even tilts his head a little, as if he's trying to make eye contact with this giant of a man who is trying to curl into himself. ]

Okay, and for some reason that means you can't use your big boy words and talk to me?

[ He's a little hurt by it. Only a little, since this is his first time dealing with how ... Flambae deals with things. If he prefers to be alone, then the dispatcher has to learn to respect that. Just ... he really has been worried. He thought something far worse than a torn supersuit and some cat scratches had happened to him.

It's at least a good sign that Flambae takes his hand, too. Robert doesn't feel like he was just a complete ass and barged his way into unwanted territory. ]

You aren't hideous.

[ He's pretty sure he'd win that competition since he has no super healing factors and his entire body is a treasure map with too many destinations on it. ]

I can help you clean it up, if you want. Might make you feel better.

[This is how he deals with things- By either fabricating his own reality or pretending they never happened!

Flambae's expression and posture remain sheepish, but even so, he does gently place a hand on the small of Robert's back and lets him in. He uses ~~one of those Gumby legs~~ to kick the door closed, locking it with the free hand.]

English isn't my first language, okay? Feh.

[He looks away. It's a bad excuse, and for once, it's evident on his face that he knows it, no matter how sour that expression of his is. The mask is slipping, which is an insane statement, considering that he's never once worn a mask in the first place.

To be vulnerable with Robert, truly and completely, he will be opening himself to a massive world of hurt.]

Ugh. I'd rather you skip the wound dressing and just undress me, already.

[So he deals one of his typical deflections, and while he may be implicating the bedroom, he leads Robert to that modest dining room table again, pulling out the other man's chair first. Things like this are ingrained in Flambae's mind to the point where he doesn't think about them anymore.

Loved ones are served food first and sit first. It's a stark contrast with his usual boorish behavior, what with him putting his dirty orange boots on every table that can withstand his weight.

While the other is sitting down, he mulls over whether or not to say the next thing.]

You were worried about me?

Flambae.

[ Robert raises a brow. They both know that's a bad excuse. The dispatcher has heard the man say plenty of colorful things in English, so he's more than capable of telling him what's up! The least he could have done is answer Prism, anyway. But it's moot now, he's here at Flambae's apartment and he's been let inside and they're talking now. So that's fine. ]

Undressing you would be giving you a reward you haven't earned.

[ Maybe that's a little harsh, but listen, he was worried! He still is, even seeing Flambae face to face, flesh and bone and bloody scrapes. Robert does take a seat though, since it's offered to him. He assumes that Flambae will also be taking one. ]

Of course I was. Even if we weren't— [ together? Are they together? They said they were right?? ] You're my teammate. I need to know you're okay.

[ And since they are ... together. He thinks. He's been even more stressed about it. ]

I'm not used to people I care about having some kind of healing factor. I thought— Well I don't know what I thought.

[ But he was worried. Genuinely, even. ]

[There’s some minor angry line-facing as a result of being denied that little treat, although it gives way to something else entirely.

The realization dawns upon him slowly, those furry brows of his curling and uncurling and curling again while he sits down. Flambae’s five fingered hand gingerly supports that angular face of his as the rusty gears in his hot air filled brain are being forced to squeakily then.]

Oh.

[What so recently happened with Chase isn’t lost on Flambae, especially in the light of everything that happened to Robert’s father. The little Flambae had overheard from Shroud and the goons sounded atrocious, and if the absolutely dogshit man was willing to sacrifice an animal for his unnecessary theatrics, god knows what else he got up to.]

Robert, I…

[That hand falters in the air for a moment, going up and down before it settles to hold Robert’s again.]

I didn’t know, or, I did know, I guess and I was being a hotheaded dipshit about it, but…

[And in the most plain of fashions, which is surprising in its own right, Flambae ruminates momentarily before blurting out:]

I’m sorry.

When things get bad for me, I just want to run away-

[these two words are sung in typical flambeezy off-key style with the same melody as that 80’s song with the same lyrics]

The inside of my head was worse than, whatever it is, eh…

[On the outside.]

The people you love, they are… All in this business pretty much, yes? One way or another.

[don’t say it don’t say it-]

As miss Blondie would also say.

[Flambae that is a whole ass band…]

[ The treat is, most likely, still coming later on. If it's any consolation.

For now, Robert tries to hide the wince that comes with Flambae's realization. Yes, he knows it's a bit sad. Robert and his normie friends and family. Even Chase is more fragile compared to the average superhero, all thanks to the cruel side effect of his power. It's not a hand that Robert would have asked for, but it's the one he's drawn.

He takes a moment, and then offers a smile. It's a small one, the only one he can muster in light of such sad thoughts. But it's genuine. He wants to give Flambae some reassurance. At least the little off-key diddy does get him to huff in amusement. Leave it to this bozo to lighten the air. It's not a bad talent to have at the end of the day. ]

Yeah, pretty much. Not like I've had time for anyone outside of the business.

[ Granted that is a self-imposed obstacle, but they don't need to talk about that.

So instead, he gives Flambae's hand a small squeeze, using his free one to reach out and try to tap the flamethrower's chin so he can see that scratch a bit better. ]

I don't have any song lyrics to tell you that you don't have to run. Not from me.

[ But he supposes he still can if that's truly what he wants to do. Just as long as he eventually circles on back to Robert again. Gives him some tiny sign that he's alive and will be well. ]

Are you going to let me clean that up or what?

Fine! The next time I am crashing out from a fucking feels explosion, [that line must've sounded so crazy in the accent] I'll run right into your noodley little arms.

[He allows for his chin to be tilted upwards, trying to still his beating heart. Usually, it's him doing all the annoying toying with the face, on account of him typically being taller. He's chased after bigger men before, Royd included, although the lot of them have proven to be largely disinterested in him. Flambae would gripe about it having something to do with him not being tiny enough to fulfill their stupid baby boy fantasies, but all the men in question would probably cite his abrasive personality and bad temper as their top reasons for ignoring his albeit caked up ass.

Flambae feels mildly embarrassed that he's so excited for Robert to gently take charge, so much so that he snarks just a little-]

That is because the only so-called "music" you listen to is the rhythmic toot-tooting of Beefy's farts.

[Ugh, he should acknowledge Robert's kind words... So annoying... Who needs vulnerability!!!]

Where is he anyway?

[Once again he is dodging all the important questions...]

You should have brought him here.

[ASLKDJFALSDJF]

His eyebrows are very funny, because they are so small and... So round?

I mean, what the fuck does a dog need eyebrows for? Judging you?

He is the one who shits and pisses outside.

Edited 2026-01-25 04:19 (UTC)

[ yeah actually that did sound insane in that accent. Unfortunately, Robert is into it.

And while he's glad Flambae allows him to tip his face like that, the dark circles under his eyes appear to get darker as a whole wave of deflection crashes over him and swallows him up whole. Robert is a grown man, he doesn't need complete reassurance to protect his feefees or anything, but he does wonder mildly if he has made a mistake in following Flambae here. ]

He's with Chase.

[ He sighs a little, letting his hand drop away as he gives Flambae one more long look.

Then his heels are digging into the floor, scooting his chair back as he moves to stand.

It was a mistake, probably.

Flambae is a superhuman. They don't need this kind of checking up on. They have other things to worry about than a scratch or two. They can afford to just fly away without a word to their friends or their boyfriend or whatever. But at the very least, he is glad that this flaming idiot is well enough to just ramble on about Beef's bathroom habits. So that is enough for him. ]

I'll go. See you tomorrow, then? Good as new. That's ... great.

[ He feels dumb. So if Flambae actually doesn't want him turning and shuffling out as quickly as his noodle legs can carry him, he's going to have to put that brain of his into hyperdrive. ]

dw one of the z teamers is gonna see them in the next flambae tag

NOT PHENOMAMAN

merry i think writing this tag is going to send me to the hospital

that was the tag of all time

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cw: mentions of sexual harassment

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1/2

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the lines about robert being there feeling just Right uGH im gonna incinerate

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