bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

[ At first, Robert gives a look that kind of says "you know I was there for that whole conversation right", where Golem made the grave mistake of giving Flambae a short and easy line to latch onto for apparently any situation.

But he decides it's probably not worth all that to say and he just shakes his head a little about it. Anyway, Flambae did actually scare him a bit so that's on Robert. Also, he's getting a kiss and that's pretty nice. ]

You bought me flowers?

[ It is a very tsundere presentation, but Robert still manages to be taken off guard by the gesture. People don't just buy him flowers. In fact, his cubicle is barely decorated at all, let alone by anything ever given to him by a lover (not that he's had any since working at SDN but anyway) and everyone knows his apartment is also a sad sight.

He takes them a little more carefully in his hands, a small, pleased smile on his face as he examines them. They're blue, that's a nice touch. ]

Thank you.

[ He feels so giddy it's embarrassing. It's really embarrassing, how is he going to face the rest of the team now with this stupid grin on his face and a bunch of daisies in his arms...

It is decidedly better than stinky shrimp though. ]

I made it just fine. Apparently, so did you.

[ If he's got the time to lurk by Robert's locker, that is. ]

I haven't really seen any of the others yet.

[Something about Robert's legitimate jumpiness makes Flambae feel strangely satisfied. Good, the element of surprise may have been a little overkill in this instance, but it's important for longevity. Spontaneity is a positive thing.

He rolls his eyes, muttering sarcastically.]

No, I plucked them from the lawn your puffy poochie pissed on earlier.

[As always, Flambae pauses to quietly take note of Robert's reaction. The words of gratitude are met with a conceited smile and some version of a nearly anime-adjacent, "Hehe," instead of, you know. Just a regular, "You're welcome."]

Oh! Great, so it was just my ass they were all jammed way-too-fucking-far-up in today.

[Watching Prism's face drop from happy to see her bestie to abject disgust was... Truly something. She thought the flowers were ugly, and she stands by that. Malevola seeing them and thinking somebody died but then focusing on how she would have known was just Insane, and bumping into Golem who had specifically asked if they were for him was also yet another instance of SDN lunacy.

Sonar had seen a bug on one of the flowers (allegedly) and tried to bite one. As for Invisgal, it's questionable as to whether she's even in the building as of yet. Sometimes she lurks around while being... Unseen. Flambae has mostly gotten used to it, also because it's not really him she tends to bother.]

Sonar almost chewed one of these up by the way, so if any of the little petals are folded, that is on him.

Edited 2026-01-17 07:42 (UTC)

[ Any romantic inclination Robert was feeling toward Flambae dies with that eyeroll and the awful words that follow. ]

Yeah okay. Well now I don't want them.

[ He's still holding them though, so actually he does. He just hopes that this angry fireball realizes how unsexy he is sometimes.

Unfortunately for the majority of the rest of the time, he's actually very sexy, which is quite frankly a bit offensive to Robert personally.

He looks satisfied as he looks down at the daisies and has a big grin on his face. ]

Yep, guess so.

[ Somehow he managed to avoid the Z-Team on his way to the locker room. Part of it could be stopping by Chase. Another part could be that he also said hi to Blazer in her office, and gave both Royd and Galen a fist bump. None of them really detected anything off about the Dispatcher other than he's apparently got some balled up energy today.

... Although if Galen is anywhere even remotely near the locker room right now, he definitely knows what's up. ]

I still don't really fully get what Sonar's deal is.

[ He shrugs as he finally looks up from the flowers and back to Flambae. If the firestarter hasn't figured it out by now, he's definitely not letting go of the flowers and was just giving him shit a few moments ago. ]

But they're great. I'll put them on my desk.

He thought he saw a bug on one of these.

[Why Flambae is standing up for him…]

Turns out, it was just a speck of dirt! You know, because flowers come from the ground?

[He seems particularly exasperated about this.]

Golem thought these were for him. Which, honestly, was pretty fucking funny! But wrong.

[Flambae glances at Robert’s hands, sensing something emotional he can’t quite pinpoint. Robert is a sentimental guy who gets weirdly tender about things, but to some degree, that tenderness seems to make him a little uncomfortable.

In surprisingly good faith, Flambae takes this as an opportunity to diffuse the tension a little. Robert’s silly knock about not wanting the flowers is… Too unbelievable for him to really be bothered by it.]

I know, I know, I’m not the Mayor, and I don’t have the key to the city or the kind of budget for whatever the fuck the they probably used to send you-

[Implying that he thought that, at the very least, the powers that be would have sent MechaMan some flowers for saving the city, right?!]

But it was nice having you around last night.

[He’s almost hesitant to say the next part.]

I’m glad you slept so comfortably.

Edited 2026-01-17 22:30 (UTC)

[ Why IS Flambae standing up for him... ]

Uh huh.

[ Robert is just ... going to let that one go, pass it off as weird Z-team things and weird Z-team dynamics. His brows do lift a bit at the mention of Golem thinking the flowers were for him though. That's kind of, in a fucked up way, cute? A bit funny too, yeah. ]

We should get him some sometime, then.

[ Yes, we. He's volunteering them for their first cute activity as a couple. Not really, but anyway.

His eyes roll slightly at Flambae's diffusion techniques. This guy really does not understand what life as Mecha Man has been like, does he? He supposes he should be happy that it gives off the perception of some glamorous Hollywood lifestyle and not just a money sink and a grind on his body and an almost entirely thankless endeavor. ]

The Mayor never offered me anything like that.

[ He reaches up with the hand that is not holding onto his flowers, brushing a thumb against one of those lethally sharp cheekbones. ]

Guess I should complain.

[ Galen somewhere in the distance is wondering why God hated him enough to grant him super hearing. ]

It was nice being around you last night. [ a half smile ] If you make one more comment about how I need to be sleeping in a proper bed though, I'll beat you up.

[ Flambae is right about it, and Robert will definitely be sleeping in that bed again. But there is no need to rub it in. ]

[Sonar, as goofy as he is, is one of the team. His tangents about boobs and business may not exactly pique Flambae's particular interests, but his casual demeanor makes him more approachable than some of their less sociable teammates, Flambae included.

He's trying his best not to look too excited, but Flambae's eyes noticeably light up at the mention of "We," the fire in them burning just a tad brighter. Robert's hand is on his cheek and he is forgetting whatever he was going to say about a bouquet that would really be appropriate for Golem, something about how the flowers should probably be replaced with plastic forks to match their teammate's actual vibe.]

Without the suit? Pfft! Yeah, right.

What're you going to do? You're, like, muppet-sized compared to me.

[Is he... He's not that small!]

Tickle-Me-Robbo sounds pretty cute, though.

[The words are familiar, a similar challenge as usual, but they lack their typical haughty flavor. He's not deflecting, exactly, he's flirting, rolling his r's a little more, and taking care to look directly into Robert's eyes.]

I wasn't going to say that.

[Robert's clear comfort in a real mattress sort of goes without saying. Even Beef seemed to enjoy the privilege, and he has his own miniature doggie version.]

Screw the mattress, it's me you preferred sleeping with, no?

[He takes the hand that's on his cheek in one of his own.

Uh oh. Someone is so going to spot them, although Flambae is absolutely too distracted to really register anything like that.]

I'm pretty comfortable myself.

[ He is one of the team! That doesn't mean his eating habits aren't pretty disgusting, says the man who eats way too many twinkies to still be alive and relatively well as he is.

The prospect of getting their friend some flowers (or a bouquet of forks) together is incredibly gay and kind of cringe but also would have Robert feeling a bit excited too, if he was not being compared to a muppet right at this very moment. He's not even that small! ]

Maybe? And never say that again.

[ He held his own in the bar fight, thank you. He can beat Flambae up just fine or come for his remaining fingers. More importantly, Tickle-Me-Robbo is simply not okay.

It's weird though how charged he notices their bantering is now when he was more or less oblivious to it before. It was different before they kissed right? There was definitely not an almost tangible sexual tension between them in the air every time they butted heads. Right ... ]

Yeah. It was.

[ He answers simply, dropping his gaze to Flambae's lips. Damn, he really does like kissing.

Needless to say he's not paying attention to anyone else in the locker room right now either. For all he knows, Visi's been in here watching the whole time anyway. ]

You're surprisingly soft, you know.

[Said very seriously, although he caught that look and is eyeing Robert's lips too:]

That is because I never forget to moisturize, Robert.

Have you ever heard of-

[He saunters forward to whisper the StuPIDEST pOSSIBLE WORDS AGAINST RObERT'S LIPS-]

Body butter?

[And leans over to kiss him...

But anyone within earshot both heard that AND CAN SEE It...!!!! HELP]

Edited 2026-01-18 18:28 (UTC)

[ What just happened should not, by any means, be an electric charged bolt of sexual tension between two men in a locker room, but somehow that's what it ends up being. Thankfully Galen has moved on to save himself before he had to hear that, but anyone else nearby? They were not spared.

And the thing is, Robert knows that this is really outrageously stupid!!!!!! But it still kind of turns him on anyway, and he doesn't know what that says about him really.

He leans up into the kiss like Flambae just earned it, smirking up against his lips even as it ends. ]

Guess you'll have to teach me.

[ by

rubbing it....

on his body

I hate this i hate this whole tag too HELP CALL THE YAOI POLICE— ]

[He hates the way he feels so happy about it, about something that Robert probably views as a throwaway joke he most certainly will forget about. It doesn't matter, even the momentary acknowledgment of something so silly means so much to Flambae.

He closes his eyes and savors the kiss, trying not to shiver when he feels the way Robert's mouth twists into a cheeky little smile. Flambae isn't new to this kind of thing, exactly, and yet he's giddy all the same.

He isn't sure what to say to Robert, since this feels so much like a real goodbye, even though they'll be together again soon. His eyes drift to Robert's buttons, the ones that he so stupidly tried to undo with his teeth last night, and although he knows he should be embarrassed, the memory is a warm one.

When he finally musters up the courage to say goodbye, he hears the voice of someone always sounds like he has a cold of some sort, despite having a supposedly superpowered sense of smell.

"Oh. He's so whipped."

Which has Flambae turning around immediately. So quickly, it's... It's not quite a ballerina twirl, but damn, that was fast! Who is the whipped one... He can't tell!]

[ It isn't really a goodbye, since they'll be talking on the comm system soon enough. Still, everything feels a bit different now, regardless. The only thing that isn't different is being interrupted and gaining commentary from one of the Z-teamers.

Normally he might even laugh at how Flambae whipped around like that but —

well, speaking of whipped — Jesus Christ. ]

Alright, really funny.

[ He gives Bat Man a dry look and then glances up at Flambae as he moves to pass him. Unfortunately it is almost time to start the shift.

He's not embarrassed or put off by them being spotted though. Doesn't even care really. It's only a shame that Sonar is probably going to blab to everyone and Robert isn't sure that's how he wanted them all to find out. Without a doubt he will know that God hates him if anything is said about the body butter. Oh well. ]

We've got a shift to get to, so move along.

[There's an off-hand mention of, "Hey, hey guys, I think Flambae wants to eat him!"

Followed by a loud shriek from Flambae as he storms over, red in the face but surprisingly not yet alight-]

THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF BUTTER WE WERE TALKING ABOUT, IDIOT!

It is ass that I eat, not people-

[Caught up in his anger, Flambae is dashing over in Sonar's direction. Clearly, violence or some sort of threat is his version of damage control. Robert at least has the protection of the headset, Flambae is going to be out there with the Peanut Gallery... While the winged rat in a three piece suit emotionally pantses him in front of ex-con kindergarten. God, how humiliating.

Under his breath, he continues to mutter an array of insults.]

Do not trust the mother-fucking-flying-rabies-transmitter...! The fleas on his hairy ass of a head have clearly burrowed their way into his coke-addled brain!

[When he does reach the doorway, Flambae does stop.

There's so much hesitation in the gesture, but he's reminded of that one day the city was on fire. As a result, he does pause to look over his shoulder.

Perhaps Robert had meant it jokingly, but he had allowed for it, hadn't he? For Flambae to teach him a few things too.]

Edited 2026-01-21 06:05 (UTC)

[ Robert hustles up to step between Flambae and Sonar, hopefully, so that nobody starts on fire or turns into bat monsters or anything in between. It's just in time to hear Flambae retort with I eat ass and instantly Robert wants to change his mind and leave actually. Maybe leave all the way home. ]

Okay, alright, guys. That's enough. Let's not destroy the men's locker room first thing in the morning.

[ Damn Sonar he told you to take a hike already. Now he can't even properly smooch his boyfriend before the shift starts.

He has to settle with patting the Harvard graduate on the back. ]

Nobody is eating anybody's anything. And stop trying to call for back-up okay? We don't need your help announcing anything.

[ Hopefully that's sufficient peacekeeping, but Robert has his doubts. The effort was made though, so that's as good as he can do. Assuming he convinces Sonar to back the fuck off, he turns back to Flambae and cups his mouth to whisper at him. ]

Don't talk to them about eating ass or they'll be imagining my ass being eaten.

[ Embarrassing.

But no he was joking about the body butter thing but also serious in a "if you want to, I'm down" sort of way. ]

[Oh, he is Feeling it now. While he probably shouldn't have said that-]

This is a freaky-deaky crew Robert.

[As if the dispatcher doesn't already know.]

It is possible that a few of them have already imagined a lot worse than that.

[Sighing, Flambae gingerly pushes that singular sidebang of his further to the side.

He has no idea that Robert is, even potentially, referring to him as a boyfriend even if only in thought. If he knew, he'd be a little too happy about it. Since the mood may have been soured for kissing, Flambae reaches over to give Robert's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.]

But if any of it comes out of their mouths instead of staying in the squishy shit between their ears-

[You are one to talk, huh...]

I will fight for you.

[and lose probably rip]

I promise.

Edited 2026-01-22 01:27 (UTC)

No shit.

[ Robert is, in fact, extremely aware of the definitely worse things the Z-team has imagined about him. Most of them have made it very vocal. Sometimes even over the team chat! They still don't need to have more fuel for the fire (so to speak) and imagine him having his ass eaten.

Besides, he only wants Flambae thinking about that, which is a wild sentiment that he never would have expected himself to have until very recently.

But instead of processing that, the squeeze to his shoulder brings him back to earth and back to that statement of ... being stood up for. Not even Blazer really stands up for him (she even agreed he had a dad bod...), but it means even more when he really cares what Flambae thinks and feels about him.

He's a little speechless, actually. ]

You ...

[ Wow, suddenly he feels so lame. ]

Alright. Thanks.

[If Flambae ever finds out about the "dad bod" comment, he's going to be extremely vocal about it.

Robert's sheepishness is enough to make him laugh, although there is a different loud, warm quality to it than usual. He opens his arms wide in an inviting fashion, walking towards Robert before placing both hands on either side of his face.

Fuck the peanut gallery. He'll get out there.]

I meant what I said, Robert.

[He leans in to kiss Robert on the forehead. The gesture is an insane one, but just look at that outfit, it doesn't necessarily scream "perfect picture of psychiatric health."

Then, like it was nothing, he'll lean back and actually head to work, clapping his big dumb hands together.]

Alright! This hero is ready to roast some supervillain ass today.

Time to do this without really doing it, you know?

Edited (how did i make it worse) 2026-01-22 03:57 (UTC)

[ honestly i want that to happen.

Robert feels a lot of things suddenly at that laugh, both good and bad. Mostly good though. Why didn't he notice how sweet Flambae could be before? Does he really just have it that bad for him that he's seeing too many stars right now? Maybe. ]

I know.

[ He gently wraps his fingers around Flambae's wrists, closing his eyes as he's kissed.

Nah, he's not the perfect image of a completely sane individual, but Robert sure is grateful to have met him. A second time. For real. After the whole fire and finger thing.

Watching Flambae go for a few seconds, he huffs softly (mostly at himself) and shakes his head before he follows as well. ]

Yep. Time to work.

[After so triumphantly declaring his affection for his disheveled shell of a man, Flambae had quite the humiliating day. His dispatches went well, surprisingly, and he's still maintaining his place at the top of the leaderboard, but one too many sharp claws to the face and encounters with flame-resistant villains have left him with far more wounds than he would like.

The tears to the supersuit are fixable, but he may or may not have hightailed it out of SDN as soon as his shift was over, to embarrassed to look Robert in the eye after what Flambae perceives to have been an extremely shitty day.

It was extremely shitty because it was less than perfect, and when he feels as though he's losing out, his mind can start to warp things.

Taking refuge in complete isolation has done a lot to calm him down. He's absolutely been ignoring his phone, which has been ringing off the wazoo. Somebody has been texting him, and seeing as half the Z-team still doesn't have his number, that "somebody" is likely to be Prism or Robert. Golem also has his digits but he doesn't bother Flambae all too often, mostly sending messages in the form of absurd questions he thinks about when he's high.]

Holy shit.

[He holds a wet paper towel to a disinfected wound, wincing a little at the cut on on his cheek. The injuries hurt less than the sensation of actually having to look at himself.]

I haven't had this much red on my face since I sucked off that clown in Jakarta.

[The makeup was presumably on the clown's face and not his dick, but it says a lot that this is how Flambae remember's it.]

Man.

Red lipstick really doesn't suit me.

[He wipes off some of the blood from his lower with a thumb, then rinsing his hands in the sink and tossing the paper towel in his bathroom trash.]

I can hear the queens in WeHo right now. "H'oh, what is Marilyn Mon-hoe doing here?" Etcetera, etcetera...

[ By the end of the day, Robert is pretty exhausted. That's nothing really new, especially after a lot of mishaps in the city, but this time there's the added energy zap of having to deal with the endless teasing and/or questioning about the daisies and about Flambae and about whether or not he's just been into dicks this whole time or if he bats for both teams— you know, various things that HR should most definitely be called in for.

Of course he worries when Flambae has more than a couple little stumbles, and he's eager to check up on him and make sure he's okay when the flaming hero just ... leaves? He just leaves and doesn't say anything to Prism or to Golem or to Robert himself or anyone else.

What the fuck?

So yeah, he tried calling a couple of times, and now he's sending over texts. ]

Earth to Flambae, hello??

What the hell are you doing? Answer me.

Chad

I'm serious.

[ Alas it's all to no avail. Rubbing his face in frustration, he decides he's just going to go back over to Flambae's apartment. With his stuff packed, and Beef set with Chase for the evening (he's really going to owe him for all the dogsitting he's going to do, isn't he?), he sends off one more text. ]

I'm coming over to your place and you better let me in.

[ Sure enough he is banging on the door just a little while later. And yes he did take an Uber there. ]

[Meanwhile as all these good boyfriend texts are being sent he is making a little mustache on his face with used dental floss-]

[That's okay, one day Robert will learn that Beef is always welcome. Flambae will say absolutely nothing about it, because cooing over a cute puffy animal is so not hot and sexy, but Beef's little doggy snores and paw movements at night were so sweet.

He did fart a lot though, which almost made Flambae scream and wake up Robert.

He moves to the door with hesitation. The sounds from his movements are audible, he is absolutely stomping around, but he freezes right before turning the doorknob. He doesn't want Robert to see him like this, he doesn't look good. He hasn't responded to his texts, and it has to be the former hero, since Prism actually has the spare key...

Flambae opens the door, although he says nothing and makes no eye contact.]

[ He'll be happy to know that Beef is welcome. He just doesn't want to mess anything up by moving in with his dog immediately, you know? Even though he and Flambae have already established that being together feels like something that's been a Thing for a while, that it's so natural it doesn't even make sense. Those little insecurities and uncertainties are definitely still there though. Poor Beef. But it makes Chase happy too, so there really isn't a downside.

And maybe sometimes he does want to just be with his boyfriend without dog farts in the way.

Robert is glad the door opens, but feels a little hurt when he isn't even graced with a hello. More importantly, he sees the cut on Flambae's face and instantly frowns. ]

Why aren't you answering?

[ Pushing his way into the apartment and kicking the door shut behind him, he reaches out for Flambae. ]

Are you okay? Why did you just fucking leave and—

[ He stops and takes a breath. Okay. ]

Let me help you.

[There's an initial lack of eye contact accompanied by some fidgeting, but Flambae does step aside to let Robert through the door. Even though it may not seem like much, it's a big step.

He fights the urge to kiss him. On the cheek, forehead, lips, whatever.

It's not right.

But it was nice of him to come by in person.]

I'll be fine tomorrow.

[This is what Flambae wanted anyway. His communication about it was nonexistent and reflects his incredibly disastrous lack of ability to effectively express his more vulnerable side, but, eh, it is what it is.]

These boo-boos will go bye-bye-

[He waves on that last "bye," sheepishly and like a fucking idiot, with his shoulders hunched. Somehow, the image of it is so much more comical because he still looks like a giant.]

After I wake up, and I just...

I dunno.

I'm not very fun when I'm not happy.

[ok but that is like. all the time most of the time wtf r u talking about]

Or beautiful.

[He bites one side of his lip. No, this is not a Twilight reference.]

I feel hideous actually.

[Since Robert is reaching for him, he will reach back.

Taking the dispatcher's hand is instinctive. Like Robert sleeping over, this feels right, too.]

Edited 2026-01-23 06:01 (UTC)

[ At least he's allowed to walk inside. Robert is frowning a bit as he studies Flambae, trying to figure him out and finding that it's more difficult than originally imagined. He even tilts his head a little, as if he's trying to make eye contact with this giant of a man who is trying to curl into himself. ]

Okay, and for some reason that means you can't use your big boy words and talk to me?

[ He's a little hurt by it. Only a little, since this is his first time dealing with how ... Flambae deals with things. If he prefers to be alone, then the dispatcher has to learn to respect that. Just ... he really has been worried. He thought something far worse than a torn supersuit and some cat scratches had happened to him.

It's at least a good sign that Flambae takes his hand, too. Robert doesn't feel like he was just a complete ass and barged his way into unwanted territory. ]

You aren't hideous.

[ He's pretty sure he'd win that competition since he has no super healing factors and his entire body is a treasure map with too many destinations on it. ]

I can help you clean it up, if you want. Might make you feel better.

[This is how he deals with things- By either fabricating his own reality or pretending they never happened!

Flambae's expression and posture remain sheepish, but even so, he does gently place a hand on the small of Robert's back and lets him in. He uses ~~one of those Gumby legs~~ to kick the door closed, locking it with the free hand.]

English isn't my first language, okay? Feh.

[He looks away. It's a bad excuse, and for once, it's evident on his face that he knows it, no matter how sour that expression of his is. The mask is slipping, which is an insane statement, considering that he's never once worn a mask in the first place.

To be vulnerable with Robert, truly and completely, he will be opening himself to a massive world of hurt.]

Ugh. I'd rather you skip the wound dressing and just undress me, already.

[So he deals one of his typical deflections, and while he may be implicating the bedroom, he leads Robert to that modest dining room table again, pulling out the other man's chair first. Things like this are ingrained in Flambae's mind to the point where he doesn't think about them anymore.

Loved ones are served food first and sit first. It's a stark contrast with his usual boorish behavior, what with him putting his dirty orange boots on every table that can withstand his weight.

While the other is sitting down, he mulls over whether or not to say the next thing.]

You were worried about me?

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dw one of the z teamers is gonna see them in the next flambae tag

NOT PHENOMAMAN

merry i think writing this tag is going to send me to the hospital

that was the tag of all time

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cw: mentions of sexual harassment

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1/2

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the lines about robert being there feeling just Right uGH im gonna incinerate

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