an ass man (butt also, just an ass) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
bootyhunter) wrote2022-02-07 12:30 pm
Entry tags:
CALL ME OUT
Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)
bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)
kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on requestAlso voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)
googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy
unknown seas;; ok this one is actually nsfw
In fact, he's having a jolly old time rustling a certain Super High School Level Fortune Teller's jimmies. Dandy had his fun playing with whatever he could feel through the fabric of the other's rolled up pants, and although the alcohol has definitely slowed him down, he's finally managed to untie that frustrating knot and slip his fingers beneath the band of... Are those bikini briefs?]
You sure are stringin' them ceremonial string beans up tight, my guy. Are you sure that this isn't why your head's all kooky?
[Dandy is using his other hand to roughly tilt Hagakure's head so that he can start toying with the skin of that long neck, baby. After two or three open-mouthed kisses, each one increasing the tongue to teeth ratio exponentially, he picks a spot to bite and suck on momentarily.
Unfortunately, those terrifyingly long Gumby fingers travel downwards and clumsily grab a hold of the younger man's shirt.]
Hey, do you want keep this on or take it off? 'S cool either way.
Mine's comin' off though.
Let's get [hiccup] freaky....
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He breathes out a shaky laugh.]
Dude, that thing's loose as hell. I'm pretty sure you made it tighter on your own.
[Which, unsurprisingly, isn't the only thing that's tight around here. Blame it on the alcohol, pent-up hormones or both, but he's finding out that he's a little more eager than he thought he was as he feels those bikini briefs grow increasingly uncomfortable.
And that's before Dandy even goes for his neck. Hagakure gasps and holds onto the other man's shoulder for support while he goes to town. With each kiss, Dandy will be able to hear Hagakure's breathing become heavier...and release a startled moan the moment his teeth sink in.]
H-Hah...! Ow!!
[It feels good, though...but, oh. That's gonna leave a mark. Huh. He's never had a hickey before. Just minutes ago, he had experienced his first kiss, so needless to say he's experiencing all kinds of things for the first time tonight.
Dandy doesn't even give him any time to catch his breath and think about this, though. That's for the best, really. His mind is far too foggy to have any serious thought going on in it right now. His arms are wobbly, but he manages to stay upright as Dandy tugs on his shirt.]
I mean... 'm fine with it off, but- [He lets out a light giggle, swaying as he does so.] I dunno if ya can get it off.
[Dandy struggled so much the tie for his pants, how on earth is he going to pull his shirt off over all this hair?]
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[His nose is smushed up against wet skin, and despite the thundering headache that's impeccably incoming, Dandy swallows down a nervous gulp hearing such an intimate sound.
Usually, Dandy can be such a bastard about these sorts of things, but that was cute?! Legitimately cute. Ugh, he's in for it now. His own "heart" is going a mile a minute, racing in erratic patterns, threatening to make things even more difficult as Dandy's one singular brain cell drowns in a combination of alcohol and... Cerebrospinal fluid? Honest to God, we don't know.]
I don't usually hook up with dudes, okay! I might be a little...
[Oh, his fingers are slipping down and beneath those tiny briefs, because you know! He is being stupid and impractical!!! But also the teeniest bit shy.
There's some color in his cheeks as he rubs his palms all over what is definitely an erection. Fuck.
Does that mean he'd be able to identify this guy in a line-up?! A line-up of dick-prints?! That's a giant threat to Dandy's already fragile masculinity!!!]
Rusty.
Uh. You like games, right? You ever play one o' those...
[JESUS CHRIST, no, nO, NO!!!!]
BLT novels? I...
You got any, like... Fantasies? About the mouth to jinkety-jank-junk stuff, I... I'm not sure I can string up enough coordination for the other shit. Don't wanna straight up jackhammer your ass, that's no fun for anybody.
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Nonono! Definitely the sexy kinda "ow"! The kinda... [He pauses for a moment like he's trying to make a point of reference like Dandy so masterfully did, but his inebriated brain isn't giving him jack shit.] Uh... Don't stop?
[THAT WORKS.
If Dandy's still up against Hagakure's neck when he does his little bout of exploration, he'll get the delightful sensation of Hagakure's breath hitching in his throat. It's...so surreal for him to actually be in a situation where someone else is feeling up his dick. He never expected it would be a man doing it, though. He should probably be more mortified that he wanted this than he is, but his limited brain space is much too occupied with pleasure right now.
And he's really starting to lose himself to the pleasure, too! His grip on Dandy's shoulder tightens as he braces for more rubbing and biting...but then he's forced to pay attention to words again.]
Y-Yeah?
[That's the initial answer to Dandy's question about whether he plays games or not, but...
He is not at all prepared for where Dandy's going with it.
A little choke escapes him at first.]
B-B-
[The choking noise turns into a snicker...then a snort...then a full on bout of laughing, punctuated every so often by a hiccup. He's losing his shit.]
BLT novels?!
[He can't even hold himself up after that one. He partially collapses onto Dandy's chest, absolutely shaking with laughter.]
It's- [wheeze] It's BL novels, and hell no! I'm not into any of that shit, even the harem stuff! It's so friggin' lame!
[Phew, okay. He takes a breath...and goes to give a serious response until he's interrupted by another hiccup. The second attempt is more successful.]
But I ain't gonna say no to the real thing. You're sayin' you wanna...blow me? Yeah. I'd like that.
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What he is mad about is that... The other man is close enough now to feel his own excitement, which means more foot-in-mouth tomfoolery. During all that chortling, which Dandy can feel all against his body, whatever it is trapped within his Eldritchian chest does a loop-de-loop. Hagakure's laugh is a wild, crazy sound, but it's infectious and oddly carefree, despite the onslaught of horrible things he's been forced to endure.
You'd forget that wouldn't you? If you just looked at him without knowing. Dandy certainly does. When he's not eye-rolling at the buffoon in frustration, Dandy could say that Yasuhiro Hakagure, well.
Makes him feel fortunate.]
Ch'yeah, if I don't bite it off first...
[Look, all this talk of BLT sandwiches is making him hungry despite the sex! Gragh... Does that make bacon a gay people food-]
A-ah.
[The hand that is not actively jerking the taller idiot off is going to wrap around and pap the back (not the booty) like so: Pap, pap, pap, and-]
A little help, please?
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[With a determined huff, he manages to push himself up and off of Dandy. He brushes stray strands of hair that have since clung to his sticky forehead, and looks down...
Gods. They've only just gotten started, but that color on Dandy's cheeks and the look in his eyes...it's amazing. It encourages him to start tugging his shirt off on his own.
...
And he would finish doing that if his drunken state hadn't tanked his coordination. He gets it up to his shoulders and just starts struggling hardcore, doing his best to wriggle out of this fucking shirt. His best is very bad right now.]
C-Come on...!
[Pop! Just like that, it comes off and slips over his poofy hair! However, the leftover force of all that effort put into it has to go somewhere, doesn't it? And Hagakure is not at all stable right now.
He's going to tumble right off the bed if Dandy can't manage to grab him.]
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This is certainly a faster reflex than any of the others Dandy has displayed thus far. He springs forth from his position on the mattress to reach a sinewy arm around Hagakure's back, happening upon bare skin.
They are tilted, for better or for worse, in a clumsier iteration of that romantic dancer's dip. Dandy reflects on the notion that Hagakure is neither entirely smooth nor voluptuous, and yet...
He can't resist the temptation to pull him close.
So he does.]
Have your eyes always looked like that? Or am I just blasted.
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H-Huh? Oh...
[He cracks an eye open to see Dandy looking down at him with wide eyes. Soon enough he's gazing right back, just as awestruck. The energy that goes between the two of them in this brief moment is so electric, it's almost palpable.
He starts to reach for Dandy's shoulders to hold onto for support, but he's pulled tight against the other man before he can even finish.]
Whoa...
[He whispers in quiet excitement. With their bodies so close, Dandy will be able to feel that their hearts are beating in sync, at a pace so rapid it's like they might burst.
Realizing he's been holding his breath a hot minute, Hagakure swallows hard before letting it out.]
Uh. Always looked like what?
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[He's swallowing
not THAT kind of swallowing...]They're like...
[Dandy appears as though he's going over it in his head, but that only gives them more time to stare drunkenly at each other.]
A pretty color?
And a cute shape.
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Dee, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
[Listen, the bar is incredibly low right now, okay. So with that, he lifts his hands up to cup Dandy's cheeks and presses a sloppy kiss against his lips.]
Thanks. For...y'know. That, and for catchin' me. Last thing I need is a concussion before we actually get down 'n' dirty.
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When Dandy lays Hagakure down on the mattress, he switches their positions so to speak, with Dandy looming over the other man as he straddles himself over Hagakure's hips. He takes a good look at the others body, trying not to think about how that tender confession wears and tears away at his nonexistent heart.
Sure, the body in front of him has a soft middle and a slender frame, with hair in various places that indicates that he doesn't trim for occasions of this variety, but Dandy can find so many things to love about it. His face is pretty and his smile is the sort that'd ease your worries if you just tune out the ludicrous things he says, and he's got nice collarbones and a well-defined neck, now marked by Dandy himself.
That's the thing that drives Dandy the most wild- That he's the only one who's ever gotten to see Hagakure from this angle and in this position.
And Space Dandy is a possessive son of a bitch.
His voice gains a commanding tone.]
Then stay down. And don't hurt yourself again!
[He leans over to trail his thumb over the other's midline, going right over the navel and all the way to the hem of the dark trousers. This time, Dandy tugs all the fabric downwards to expose the fortune teller in more ways than one, then pausing to tug his own shirt up and over his own head.
That pompadour is definitely at half mast, but the thing in Dandy's pants certainly isn't. He begins undoing his belt hastily, and it's thrust off with a loud click-]
Let me do it.
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O-Okay! I won't move, promise.
[While he's not exactly intimidated by the tonal shift, it definitely grabs his attention to see what Dandy will do next, and...o-oh. The muscles in his stomach clench a bit when touched, but loosen just as quickly as Hagakure remembers to breathe. Once the pants are down, Dandy will find that Hagakure's erection has steadily grown since he last checked- it was easily poking out from the top of those bikini briefs before they too were moved out of the way.
If Hagakure was feeling vulnerable before, well... He's certainly trembling a little, but he inwardly reminds himself that it's okay. They both want this, and he doubts Dandy is judging any bit of this. Besides! He's getting quite the view of his own now. Seeing the other man remove his shirt to expose his more muscular torso turns out to be more exciting than he ever thought such a thing would be for him, to say nothing of what seems to be going on underneath his pants.
It's Dandy's words breaking through his hazy fantasizing that make him realize his hands were about to start wandering. Snapping out of it, he tries to find a place for them. Gripping the sheets works for now.]
Got it. I'll...um. Watch.
[Respectfully.]
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He lets one hand ghost over Hagakure's thigh, slowly gliding closer and closer to the inner portion until he picks an intimate place to squeeze. There may not be much, but this is nice.
Despite the confidence in his voice, Dandy's a little embarrassed himself.]
Well, you can lie down and touch me at the same time, can'tcha?
Don't tell me you don't wanna cop a feel. C'mon, baby!
[Dandy uses his free hand to tilt Hagakure's chin upwards, pressing a few kisses to some of the unkempt stubble before moving back down again. This time, he chooses to suck on a particularly prominent collarbone, then breathing against the wet, slightly reddening skin:]
Be my baby, even if it's only for a little while.
[As for the infernal Gumby limb that's significantly farther down, whether there's hair in the way or not, he's going to gently massage Hagakure's
hm
i was gonna make a joke about his personal pair of "prayer" beads but that seems sacreligious, offensive, and incorrect-]
I'm worried that I've spoiled you too much and that the rest of this is gonna be torture.
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I-I... I just didn't wanna get in your way. Y'know...mess up the- ah--
[He loses all train of thought the moment Dandy's lips are on his collarbone. His hands tightly pull at the sheets, as if desperate to wander again.
"Be my baby, even if it's only for a little while."
His eyes widen.
Ba-bump.
There it is again. There goes his heart fluttering. He stares up at Dandy like he's seeing the stars themselves, and without a single thought his hands find their way to Dandy's bare sides. He lifts himself a little to press his body into that kiss.]
I wanna be yours. [He takes a deep, heady breath before admitting:] So, so bad. S-So--
[His hands slowly migrate to Dandy's back to hold on tight as Dandy locates his balls. Again, it's a familiar sensation but absolutely unfamiliar when it's not his own hand doing it! He buries his face into Dandy's shoulder but not before an unexpectedly delighted moan escapes the back of his throat.]
Don't... Don't worry, I'm tryin'. But gods, Dee, you're just so friggin' good at this, I...dunno how I'm gonna compare!
[He certainly feels spoiled right now, that's for sure.]
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To merely think that you'll love someone. Why, they'll wake up tomorrow and be worlds apart, probably.
Even if they sleep side by side.]
Don't you worry, baby.
[He shouldn't have said that so gently. It's not like they're in love, right? Not mutually. In typical Dandy fashion, he was just there in the right place at the right time, with hopes that were so unfathomably high they should've been abandoned at the get-go.
Dandy knew that they were going to tread dangerously murky waters tonight. He lets that slip because come morning, Hagakure probably won't remember what words were exchanged between them, and maybe Dandy will forget, too.
Oh, how pathetic he is. Pretending that this is more than it really is...
Or so he thinks.]
Accidents happen, y'know? You don't gotta be perfect.
Just be raw, just be-
[Please, please may that stupid cloudy head of his finally kick back into gear tomorrow-]
Here.
With me.
[It would be foolish to confess how nice it is to cradle someone else, to nurture. To hear intimate, raucous melodies that are the grunts and moans of an affair so passionate and natural... And clumsy, but in a delightful way.
Dandy curses himself inwardly. It's not as though he can hold the clairvoyant like this forever.
Especially since Dandy's lovers have mostly ended up pushing him away one way or another.
Either that or they died first.]
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For this precious slice of time, there is no killing game outside these walls.
It's just the two of them, and everything's going to be okay.
His eyes slide closed and he breathes a contented sigh against Dandy's skin. For the time being, his nerves have calmed down.]
There's no where else I'd rather be.
[They say when you're drunk, you're more likely to reveal your true feelings. And while Hagakure will briefly question his actions come morning...maybe there's a little bit of credence to the saying.
Tightening his embrace a little, he tips his head enough leave a trail of kisses along Dandy's neck before attempting a love bite of his own. He starts with a nibble, like Dandy did. But in his inexperience, he ends up getting a little overzealous and bites down a teensy bit harder than necessary. Oops.]
CW: STRANGULATION
Dandy permits the wanton attention to his nape with a willingness he will despise himself for later, moaning softly as the kisses turn to bites.
The pain dredges up two painful memories. First: A slap to the face, from a woman with hair that looks to be a strikingly familiar shade of magenta. Did she just call him an idiot? It flashed by so quickly, Dandy really can’t say. In the second, hands are closing in around his neck. He can’t for the life of him remember whether those events lead to pleasure or the end. Well, an end.
Maybe it was both.
He has a sneaking suspicion that it was both.]
Ouch.
[A part of Dandy, a nagging voice, forces him to consider thinking and furthering his advances by fucking finishing the job… Which just so happens to be fucking, go figure.
Instead, he selfishly revels in Hagakure’s tiny burst of bravery, and words Dandy perceives to be a lie. They both would’ve rather had a woman.
Wouldn’t they have rather had a woman?]
Are you sure?
You don’t wish I had bigger tits?
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[There isn’t any nervousness behind the apology— it’s uttered in more of a sultry whisper instead. Still, he does shift to press a gentle kiss against the darkening bruise as if he’s going to be able to kiss the pain away.
Those questions…do give him pause, though. It might even be too long of a pause for Dandy’s anxiety over the matter.]
Hmm.
[He breaks the silence with a thoughtful hum. One of his hands slides down and works its way along Dandy’s chest, exploring each hill and valley that are his abs before reaching his breast. As he does this, his breathing gets heavier again. Clearly, he’s excited by what he’s feeling.
He gives that tit a squeeze. Dandy did say he could cop a feel.]
I think they’re pretty good size. You’ve got nice assets.
[And he means that!]
Like…big boobs are great— we both know that. But I’m here for you.
[He pulls back to try to catch Dandy’s gaze with a meaningful one of his own.]
If anything, Dee, you’ve made me realize that I was pretty stupid for thinking I didn’t like guys too.
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Dandy's goes from quiet to loud, moaning with surprise and anticipation when he's actually squeezed. If Rossiu and Joy heard anything, they definitely heard that. Hagakure speaks, surprisingly clearly and gently, and Dandy comes to a horrifying conclusion as well. His eyes dimly scan over what he can see of the other's body, and it's clear to him too.
It's not as though he would rather be here with Honey or Scarlet. No, Hagakure has a genuine innocence that's unique and personal, and neither woman would entertain Dandy with that kind of exorbitant attention, much less tell him he was good in bed straight to his face. Not without some kind of backhanded compliment.]
Don't be so hard on yourself.
There's no way you've ever met a guy like me before.
[A confident-sounding bluff.
Dandy leans back in again, nudging Hagakure with his knee this time, somewhere along the inner thigh. back 2 the bed with you gooby]
These things happen.
Attraction, love, passion...
[He too will allow his hands to roam, this time over Hagakure's right pectoral muscle. Dandy traces a heart right around the nipple with his index finger, watching the fortune teller's face for any tell-tale signs of pleasure.]
Sometimes it's just an energy thing.
Do you believe in vibrations? Like... The spiritual frequencies?
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"Don't be so hard on yourself." He thinks he hears those words in this intimate scene, but he realizes it's coming from the present. He blinks once and he's back to being lowered flat against the bed.
Dandy might be bluffing, but to Hagakure? It's completely true. No man has made him feel quite like this. Hell, no woman has made him feel quite like this. This rowdy, flirty, foolhardy, dandy guy from space is truly one of a kind.
Love though, huh? Just the mere mention of the L-word causes Hagakure to freeze up a little, gripping tightly onto Dandy's arm and side where he's holding onto. Or maybe it's the close proximity to his nipple causing it? Hard to say. But it's equally hard to miss the shape he just felt drawn out on his skin.
Maybe it is...]
"Spiritual frequencies"... [He repeats with slightly more slurred speech. His eyes are half-lidded in pleasure, but he does his best to push through the brain fog to actually think about this.] I mean, yeah. I've got a sense for that kinda stuff, it's just...not as strong here. I'm chalkin' it up to...y'know. Atlantis shit.
[Even though this is not Atlantis. Who knows, maybe New Rapture is at least in the Bermuda Triangle.]
Why?
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No reason.
[Dandy is making his way down Hagakure's body, kissing over his sternum and all the way down his midline, pausing right below the belly button. This time when he reaches to stroke the other man's cock he's quicker and a lot more generous with his movements. Dandy rubs him up and down and all around, allowing his thumb to circle the tip before adding a little extra pressure as it moves over the sli. The spaceman makes a mental note of where the veins are and how he's shaped, considering where he should put his mouth first and making up for all the lost time where his attention was elsewhere.]
Nothin' that ain't wishy-washy, squishy-squashy.
[That's what he gets for feeling like they're on some sort of similar spiritual frequency. Is it all bullshit? Maybe. Dandy's jumped the gun before.]
Speakin' of squisheh...
[He flicks at Hagakure's soft stomach with a finger the other hand, quickly and sharply.]
You don't get out much, do ya?
[Unfortunately, there's almost no time between that cruel jest and Dandy pressing a kiss to the base of Hagakure's unholy joystick and taking some of it between his lips.]
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N-No, I mean...I wanna, but this place is messin' with my--
[He doesn't get to finish unfortunately, because Dandy grabs a hold of his cock and all sense of speech comes screeching to a halt with a strangled gasp.]
Oh.
["Oh", indeed. That's all Dandy will get out of him, not counting the quite loud sounds of pleasure that escape him while he squirms under Dandy's touch.
That is, until Dandy decides to kill the mood. Hagakure snaps into complete clarity at the drop of a hat to swat Dandy's hand away.]
H-Hey!
[He rubs his stomach where Dandy so rudely flicked at it, frowning slightly. It's soft, sure, but it's not sticking out or anything...right? He hasn't actually put on some weight, has he? Ugh, he's going to be contemplating this in front of a mirror later.
Honestly, the fact that Dandy just immediately goes down after that gives Hagakure a really strange whiplash that he isn't sure what to do with. His hand bolts right up to his mouth to cover what is damn near a scream. Despite his best efforts, someone in suite 4 probably heard that.]
Dee--!
[He exclaims Dandy's name in what appears to be frustration, but there's no doubt that his voice is also strained with pleasure because damn does that feel good. He's...never had his dick inside something warm and moist before, obviously.]
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It's an old habit, one that's decades and perhaps even centuries older than the time he's currently from, a remnant from the infinite loop of reincarnations that he does not yet wish to be free from. But is Hagakure like any of his other lovers? Picking away at him for his tendency to joke, questioning his love of travel or lack of direction?
No.
Dandy releases him, though he nuzzles right at the base of Hagakure's [eggplant emoji] with the tip of his nose.]
Sorry.
[Why does he do this?
To protect himself? To end things before he gets too attached?]
But I like you this way.
That means when you laugh-
[His hands are all a fucking mess. Still, he tickles the skin of Hagakure's left inner thigh with a few fingers.]
It'll move so much more, baby.
[But it's not like he's had the chance to lead the kind of lifestyle Dandy does. Dandy is reminded in the haze of his instinctual cruel, biting jab, that the young man has barely had the chance to stretch his legs anywhere.
It remains on his mind but he doesn't say it.]
I like that you're soft.
On the inside and on the outside.
I can't say I've ever met anybody so goddamn sweet.
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It's...hard, to stay mad at him when he's clearly being so sincere and saying such reassuring things.]
S'okay.
[Hagakure ultimately decides to forgive him.]
But can ya just...say that from the start? I'm not the kinda guy who takes insults real well, even if you were just teasin'.
[He knows some people are into that, but not him.
He lets out a deep breath before finally lightening up his mood. He reaches forward to run a hand along Dandy's cheek.]
I guess I won't worry too much about it then, if you really like it. [A small, awkward smile forces its way onto his lips and he glances off to some corner of the room.] Can't say I've ever been called soft 'n' sweet, though...
[Outside of his mom, really. It's...nice.]
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He kind of likes being called a scoundrel, especially in bed.]
No?
Then why're you so cute around me all of the time? Is it 'cause you think I'm pretty?
[During this exchange, he's learned a few things.
Hagakure forgives quickly and easily, perhaps a little too easily. He's self-conscious and probably takes the smallest, most thoughtlessly uttered jabs to heart, especially from people he actually likes.
And lastly, he probably doesn't get close to people easily for whatever reason, otherwise someone else would've called him sweet by now. Someone else would be here, with their head between his legs.]
Ohhhh. Oh I get it.
[He'll turn his face to kiss Hagakure's palm.]
I just gotta butter you up startin' from now on.
Well first of all? This is nice.
[of he says all of this before turning his head back down and... spitting on it
🍆💦]
Probably feels good! That and you're fun to blow.
[JESUS CHRIST, DANDY?!]
Are you into eye contact or are you too shy? I don't wanna break my neck whooshin' my head around if you aren't gonna look at me.
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this joke is horrifying
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god, everything... all of this nsfw dialogue is CURSED
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1/2
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