bootyhunter | CALL ME OUT

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CALL ME OUT

CALL ME OUT:

Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter /

himbomb /

incelligent

*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama)

kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder)

moneyballer available on request

Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc)

googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy)

edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job)

madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game)

aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party)

portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party)

confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag)

feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo)

pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet)

screechy

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Every time Robert swears, it's like music to his ears. Perhaps it's not helpful that "fuck" is Flambae's favorite curse word, it's just so useful in so many contexts and it's fun to say, but it does sound better in Robert's voice. Speaking of Robert's voice, it's crazy what intimacy and vulnerability can do. One might think that someone so deadpan and dead inside wouldn't be capable of unleashing such colorful notes of lust or desire, and yet it is. God, the disgruntled dispatcher is so cute when his voice gets quiet and sincere. And oh, he's shaking like one of Flambae's auntie's little white dogs when it wants to be pet, and pet him he will.

Flambae has always had trouble with authority, but when it comes to being told what to do in the bedroom, he can be surprisingly obedient.]

You got it, Boss.

[good luck robert he is never saying that shit to you at work

He bites down hard, not sparing Robert in the least, although he isn't necessarily trying to draw blood. Then things will get messy, after all, and these sheets are suspiciously white, but he'll drag that missing tooth all over the tender skin, giving Robert's cock a tug for good measure. Flambae then goes straight for the collarbones, pressing a few rough kisses here and there, before sinking his teeth into various places and sucking where he can. The fuckass firestarter had been lamenting not showing Robert's chest enough love, and rubs his chin against the hair there, traveling downwards and towards a nipple, kissing all around it before gently taking one into his mouth.

Some guys don't like this. Flambae has learned that the hard way, but, Robert might appreciate a fellow hero appreciating his fitness regimen with his mouth.]

You don't have your phone around, do you?

[Oh, he's definitely tugging now.

When he lets Robert go, he'll blow hot air over wet skin.]

Fuck.

I was gonna take a picture.

[ It's just that Robert only truly expresses himself in very specific, intense emotions. The rest of the time it's deadpan and dead inside. He can only do so much. Or, not to be cheesy about it, Flambae just happens to be getting him quite thoroughly heated at the moment. It should not be so hot (haha) to hear Flambae call him Boss in that tone of voice.

If it was said at work he might actually kiss Flambae in front of everyone in retaliation.

He groans out loudly enough when he's bitten that Beef might be jostled from his shrimp coma in the other room. It's not a sound of distress by any means, though. His thighs squeeze in against Flambae's hips as the pleasure builds back up again from wherever it had temporarily gone. The great thing about having Robert for a lover is that leaving marks on him may not, in fact, be as obvious as it is with those who are not constantly covered in bruises and scar tissue. Extra great because he loves how it feels, he wants Flambae to keep on ravaging him like he deserves it (he doesn't know if he does).

And honestly, yeah, he doesn't seem to mind Flambae's lips around his nipple at all. In fact he's moaning out loud again, arching his back in a way that presses down against the flaming hero's body. He's so distractable at the moment he almost doesn't hear the question. Other things are on his mind... ]

Huh- [ Oh. His phone. Well considering he is butt ass naked at the moment, no his phone isn't just conveniently nearby. And normally he'd be suspicious as hell if Flambae wanted a picture... but. If it's on Robert's camera roll, that's a different story.

He exhales, slowly. ]

Uh... in my pants?

[ you know, normal place for a phone to be and not just up his asshole or something, this is terrible i don't know why i wrote it this way i'm sorry ]

[Well, that depends on how Robert would frame it. He doesn't deserve to be hurt, specifically, as much as Flambae's wanton fists may disagree, but if this is how he likes to be spoiled, he certainly deserves something in return for all that free crimefighting he did over the past decade. Fuck it, the city owes him a lap dance. Maybe two-hundred of them.

Ooh, should he give him a lap dance? Fuck, this might be one of the few times he wishes he were a little smaller.

Flambae's selfishness is a learned behavior, even if he's had years and years of practice, and it's times like this when he's alone with people he deeply cares for that some of it sifts and settles, while the facade of bravado slips. Flambae just has to laugh at Robert's endearing and heavy-lidded reaction. Somehow it's almost as charming as the way his slender body lurches and responds to everything that Flambae's attempting to do, especially since the hothead is worried that it's too domestic or not flashy enough. That MechaMan has probably had many a mate at least in the sack, and that this can't possibly compare to any of those wild encounters. Either way, he may not say it, but Flambae appreciates the privilege of being able to make Robert happy tonight, even if it's only temporary.

A horny photo is much better taken in the moment, which appears to have passed. Besides, the second they are apart and not in working quarters, Robert is going to be spammed with a variety of snapshots from lewd camera angles. Ridiculous things like, "Does my butt look big in these?" with "these" in question being the tiniest denim shorts you've ever seen... You get the picture.

Flambae rests that 5'o'clock shadow right in the line between the clearly defined muscles of Robert's chest, eyes still closed as he smiles. The laugh was a sweet one, more along the lines of the sounds he had been making over dinner.]

Do you want one?

[A picture, a video, he means.

Maybe he should clarify.]

[ Robert probably doesn't know how he'd like to be spoiled, since he's never been spoiled before. Not like this. He asked Flambae for his attention and he's getting his attention, so he has nothing to complain about right now.

If Flambae gave him a lap dance he would either come in his pants or die laughing because the man is so enormous. It's a toss-up, really.

He wonders vaguely why Flambae is laughing at him, but finds that he doesn't care enough to stop enjoying this "spoiling" that he's getting. If his body wants to be a lewd slut and rut against Flambae or arch sharply, well whatever. The only chance of a witness is Beef and Beef doesn't want any part of this (Cuddles later are a different story). Robert would still absolutely lose his mind if he knew that Flambae thought he was just taking superheroes in the sack left and right. That this ... all of this tonight ... hasn't taken a lot of questioning and judging and even courage. He's brave or reckless or both, but not with .... matters of the heart. Again, he simply lacks the experience to approach it so boldly.

At least he thinks he's probably prepared for selfies of tiny denim shorts. That seems very Flambae.

It does funny things to his heart when the firestarter rests against his chest and laughs in such an achingly sweet way. Briefly Robert wonders if the weird heart feelings can be felt from the outside. ]

A ... picture? I mean...

[ That sounds ridiculous. It is ridiculous, right? Then again, look at everything that's happened in the last like 48 hours. He doesn't want Flambae to stop lavishing him in attention (shhh) but ...

He gives a lighthearted laugh of his own. ]

Why the fuck not?

[He can feel Robert’s heartbeat, although that wasn’t quite the intention. If he didn’t have a job to do, he’d sit in silence like a little freak trying to pick up on the rhythm of it and wonder which pop diva anthem baseline it matched most closely.

He can be gentle, he can be quiet, but maybe not tonight, not until Robert is satisfied and things are more still.

Flambae will do the same with the other pectoral muscle he’s left by the wayside, biting harder this time, ensuring he’s leaving a mark on this side.

A wicked grin returns as he begins to speak again, doing his best to make his voice sound deep and sultry.]

Do you think you can try and get it for me?

[The chuckle that follows sounds a lot more sinister than the laughter he let out over Robert’s heart.]

While I try to get you, mmm~! You know…

[He’ll respond by crassley pushing on the inside of his cheek with his own tongue.

Robert likes it rough, is he fond of this sort of repulsive behavior?]

You just might get a really good shot.

[Somehow, somewhere, Malevola may get the sneaking suspicion that Flambae is going where everybody thinks he is going…

Not for being gay but doing stupid shit like this.]

Don’t share it with anybody.

This shit is only supposed to be for you.

[ would he find some Whitney Houston in there? probably not, but ...

Anyway. Robert honestly looks forward to finding more out about the different sides of Flambae. Like he's genuinely kind of excited? It's new and strange but ... not a bad feeling once he gets over feeling like an idiot.

Unfortunately Flambae says a lot of really stupid shit but he is good at lowering his voice in that almost Spanish accent of his. He's reluctant still to climb off of the man's lap, but with a grunt that should not be coming out of a man of his young age, he rolls off and onto his stomach so he can reach out for his pants on the ground. This is the maximum effort he's taking. He's got a hard-on, so if he has to actually stand up and walk somewhere, forget about the picture for now. ]

Relax. I wouldn't share it.

[ For one thing, he's got a couple more intelligence points than Flambae does. And for another, they know who they hang around with, right? Sexy photos of Robert's private life are not getting out. Anywhere. ]

Beef might see it.

[ But that would be by accident. Also he's joking mostly. ]

[Oh.

He doesn't want Robert to go.

It's a rare moment for sure, to see Flambae so taken with surprise. When the realization hits him, his lips part and he looks frightened again. He knows that even crushes for him are all-consuming, what with the obsessive tendencies he's developed over the years, but this is bad. The man is a few centimeters away and it feels as though they're on opposite sides of the room. Flambae knows he's in for it the second Robert leaves his apartment even though they will be showing up at the same office, as the familiar creep of loneliness and doubt will sink in again.]

Um, a-ah...

[Say something.

God, fuck, sad gay yearning makes him so ugly. He swears whenever he has an unrequited crush he turns into that hideous little bald thing from Lord of the Rings. What was his name? The one who was always hissing and collecting too much jewelry...]

If this gets any more serious later, he will definitely be seeing all of me, FOR WHICH I AM SORRY!

[Why is he screaming...]

Since, my balls are right here-

[Don't gesture to them?!]

And his are gone. Snip-snip!

[ Flambae is the one who suggested that Robert fish out his damn phone, so this separation anxiety is on him! Robert didn't even want to get off of him either. But it's happened now, and he's reaching for the phone while listening to Flambae have some sort of gay freak out.

He's not really sure if that's what he's hearing but it sure is a choice to raise his voice like that for no reason. ]

I really don't think he cares.

[ He responds in that deadpan voice of his as he finally grabs his phone and is able to sit back up on the bed. And snap a picture of Flambae gesturing to his balls. Hilarious.

But seriously though no more interruptions. ]

[Grumbling under his breath-]

Stupidmotherfuckeryoudidnotgetthegoodside!

[Of his nutsack? Yeah, hopefully, that topic is not broached again.

Angrily, he'll grab one of Robert's ankles and drag the attached leg upwards, shoving it over his shoulder and repeating the motion with the other side. Whatever, he'll be rough again, muttering an onslaught if incomprehensible curses in a variety of languages. Some Spanish, some Afghan, and something vaguely French sounding, all peppered in between kisses and bites to Robert's midsection.

It's not until he takes Robert's cock in his mouth again that he's quiet. What is it about blowjobs that make him go on autopilot? For him dicks are sort of like adult pacifiers, although that is something he's never saying out loud lest it gets to his sister, because he would one day like to see his niece again.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He's slower at the start this go around, moving up and down with the intention of savoring the sensation of Robert in his mouth, this go around, doing his best not to let the nerves get the best of him. The truth is, he'd like to do more for him but is scared he'll take things too far like he always does, so he'll rely on the elevated temperature of his body, only even in his mouth things are getting hotter.

It's probably his own arousal. Thankfully, they don't have to think much about it, seeing as he's not on fire as of yet.

When he has to take a breath, it's unwilling. He practically pries himself from Robert's prick, panting harshly, nestling his nose right under the base.]

Move your-

[That's not right.]

Cross your legs.

Behind my head, like you're...

[Choking me.]

Shutting me up.

Edited 2025-12-30 06:12 (UTC)

[ Yeah, they're not broaching that topic again. Anyway, Robert can make his own judgments on which side of Flambae's balls are the good side.

For now though the phone kind of flips in one hand to the other and then unceremoniously bounces onto the bed as Robert's leg is suddenly taken captive in an angry flourish of several languages— ]

Whoa- hey! Shit—

[ At least the device is much closer now so if one of them wants a sexy picture, they can get one. Unfortunately that thought is rapidly growing distant for Robert once Flambae starts using his mouth again. He doesn't even complain after the initial exclamations when the other leg is grabbed and put into place. He is beginning to suspect that Flambae has a fixation on sucking dick in particular, but he has very little to complain about with that actually.

The only thing he will complain about is if suddenly he's on fire. Hard pass on being lit on fire.

Robert groans as this toothless motherfucker practically pulls arousal right out of him again. For a moment there he'd almost forgotten how much he feels like he's burning up with desire.

He's not very convinced that anything can shut Flambae up at this point, but as he pants softly, he wriggles a bit to cross his legs as requested. It's a bit awkward of a position but really no worse than sleeping in a plastic chair. ]

Odd request coming from you, but alright.

[ Sarcastic retorts are how he copes with his own horniness and how the alternative sounds to come out of him would have been lewd enough to make even the strongest perverts on the streets of LA blush. He'll still be making those anyway, though. Especially since it's becoming more and more difficult not to just be sincere tonight. ]

Fuck you!

[Sure, he loves giving head, but it’s more that Flambae finds his metaphorical and physical knees buckling to get Robert off. Because when he’s sucking him dry, it’s less embarrassing, somehow, to look up at the dispatcher the way Flambae is doing now.

He feels so hot, below the belt and with every wayward thrust and incredibly satisfying sound that Robert is making. He too moans with his mouthful multiple times, losing his ability to even pretend that there’s anything other than carnal nonsense on his mind.

Since he’s kissed Robert’s cock up and down, he now knows which part of it’s the most sensitive. The veins are familiar, would Flambae be able to recognize him from just a picture? God, he hopes when Robert gets drunk or horny late at night he sends stupid and disgusting photos, dick pics with shitty lighting… They’re terrible but Flambae finds when needs a man that badly, it’s actually nice.

It means they can’t control themselves, that they’re thinking of you.

The added pressure around his neck isn’t helping. He doesn’t quite gag, although he releases Robert to cough a little, looking up between Robert’s legs hopelessly. He’s not begging for an out or anything, but he thought the roughness would bring him down from cloud nine a little.

It doesn’t, he’s still hard as ever.]

Did you want me to…

[God, hands, where are his fucking hands? He can barely get the words out.]

Put my fingers inside you?

[And, as if to apologize for the seemingly insane request, he takes Robert’s entire nutsack into his mouth.]

Edited 2025-12-30 16:22 (UTC)

[ If only Robert had some way of understanding the feelings running through Flambae's head. Still, he smirks a little at the retort, just because the familiar barbs are nice when everything else about this evening is so new and strange. Not bad, just unpredictable.

Imagine if this was Shroud, just knowing every single thing that was about to happen and lying there like a dead fish to accept the inevitable.

Nasty. What a nasty existence. Even Robert's existence isn't that sad.

He's getting a thrill out of this, as is evident by the sounds he's making and how he unfortunately can't do a thing about the lewd way his cock throbs in between Flambae's lips. He keeps his legs tight, though he has no actual intention to hurt Flambae. Not in a biting his finger off sort of way. He also knows that, because of the superpowers and the fact that the man is much too large for his own good, it's more difficult to actually hurt him. Besides, he asked for this... ]

Nngh—

[ The needy groan is the only thing he manages to reply at first. His ability to process intelligent thought is once again threatening to leave him behind with nothing but a heavy haze of arousal and horniness.

The question, when he processes it, makes his stomach dip like he's on a roller coaster. So it's pleasant and terrifying at the same time. The thought of Flambae's fingers — and something else of Flambae's — inside of him sends a searing jolt straight to his dick.

Guess he really does have it bad for this guy. ]

Yes. Fuck, yes.

[ He answers breathlessly, putting his hands over his face in another stupid moment of shyness. He's not very experienced with this particular act. Probably. So he's a little worried. A lot embarrassed. He has no desire to be handled with kid gloves (his body has clearly been through a lot of trauma so this is nothing), so he suggests nothing of the sort. Flambae is a veteran gay anyway so he's not concerned that this would be handled poorly. It's just ...

Well he's embarrassed because it's been a long time since he's pursued something indulgent and pleasurable and whatever the hell else this is. That he's just basically asked for something instead of always doing his best to do something for everyone else. And he doesn't know how to make this scenario snarky and sarcastic or deadpan in that special way he has with Flambae. It's too real... ]

Edited (idk what i'm doing honestly) 2025-12-30 18:07 (UTC)

[This is also precisely why Flambae enjoys the act the giving head, as it's easy to tell even through an onslaught of incomprehensible curses whether he's doing a good job or not. Obviously, there's the notion of consent and the way one's body naturally may react to things, but when he's been given the green light so un-gracefully, it's hard not to feel like he's coming close to finishing a victory lap ~~on that dick~~ ~~with his mouth???~~, engulfed in flames and everything.

Robert's legs feel nice against his neck. They tighten with the twitching of his cock, which is such a satisfying horny detail, Flambae will absolutely be thinking about for nights to come.

Now he does figure out what to do with his hands, at least after spitting out and and spitting on Robert's balls, then pressing soft kisses to them as he reorients. He splays flat, warm palms over those banged up thighs, just taking a good few seconds to torture the other man by peering at him wickedly.]

Yes?

[Maybe this is too disgusting, but isn't that what Robert seems to like? In the most irritating way possible, Flambae is careful to press his chin against the base of Robert's cock, doing his best not to use the kind of pressure that's uncomfortable. He then rubs it from side to side, miming a sort of "Tsk-Tsk," motion as he clicks his tongue in tandem.]

You're being awfully shy, Robert. Why don't you let me see your fucking face?

Then I'll give you what you want so badly.

[Flambae isn't thinking about it now, but in a way, Robert has given him so much. Considering their history, it's probably foolish to trust a common criminal with something as delicate as what is probably his first intimate encounter in a long time. Then again, Robert is the whole reason he even considered re-orienting his life path in the first place, as jail time and the lack of employment options for ex-cons have sort of forced his three-fingered hand.]

I take back what I said about your ass earlier.

It is... Flat, as all hell, oh, absolutely-

[RUDE!!! He's just trying to get a rise of out him...

but he hath already risen (i'm sorry god)]

Like the Earth all those early people imagined!

[Flat Earthers... butt the og historical kind]

But it's nice.

I can't wait to make it feel-

[There's so much nasty shit to say, but he'll keep it brief.]

Tender.

Edited 2025-12-30 21:45 (UTC)

[ While it was very much a choice to just put his whole nutsack in his mouth, Flambae is unfortunately still good at what he's doing even when he's completely silly about it. Robert groans softly, trying not to squirm around too much as the man plants himself right at the base of his dick. Again he must wonder what is happening all the time tonight? What reality is this... ]

No. I'm not.

[ He says that through his hands, so yeah he is being kind of shy. Or he's crashing out? One or the other. Either way he just needs a moment. Although Flambae slipping back into their familiar banter with one another does actually help more than annoy him. Amazing.

In reality maybe he shouldn't trust a former villain that he himself canned with something like this. But they've been on the same team for months now, and the same part of him that feels like kissing him is just a hello knows that trusting him with something so intimate is something he can do without regrets.

It's the comments about his ass funnily enough that get him to drop his hands off to the side again. Although he does loose one leg from around Flambae to give him a little shove with his foot. ]

Alright, that's enough.

[ Blame his dad and mom~~(?? what happened to Mrs. Mecha Man...)~~ that he's not caked up, he can't help it. Also Flambae is just unnaturally large, like many superpowered people, so of course his ass is just proportionate. It's science, or something like that.

Which is all to say that yes, fine. Flambae can look at his face now. Flushed, freckled cheeks, pupils blown out slightly by lust, his lips parted a bit ... all of it. ]

Happy?

[The shove earns Robert an exaggerated disgruntled noise. It’s definitely overly dramatic for what just happened, but the promise of letting him look is enough to render him completely silent.

He can’t tell Robert how he really feels, because to do so would risk ridicule. Ugh, the dispatcher despises when Flambae uses words like this but he looks so cute all worked up. The touch of color to his cheeks make the freckles stand our more , and his stupidly adorable brown eyes, the indicator of how he’s feeling, finally look at peace in a horny way.

If they had met at a bar, or didn’t even work together, Flambae would do his best to be smooth. He’d wax poetic about how Robert’s skin looks better when he’s been exposed to a little superhuman heat, and how the warm temperature really agrees with him, but that can all come later.

For that, he’ll kiss Robert’s junk a few times- Softly.]

Yes.

[Flambae often resembles a cat when his face is at rest, a good deal of it being that his eye color is more commonly found in nocturnal, non-human creatures.

He’s giving Robert an intense look from where he’s perched. It’a curious and excited.]

Are you?

[God, he’s probably gone and killed his boner-buzz.

Flambae knows he needs to stop talking and get to work, but his lack of communication has totally combusted shit before. He needs to be honest.]

Whatever we do tonight…

[He doesn’t know how to make it sound sexy or confident. That it feels like such a privilege to make Robert happy, to pull him out from beneath his little MechaMan-induced raincloud and cover him in something warm.]

It’s for you.

[God, he’s going to regret saying that.]

Like, I am… Having fun, obviously, I think I am harder than that bitch Queen Victoria’s diamonds…

[christ]

But it’s been nice.

[A beat passes. Should he say it?]

Taking care of you.

I didn’t think I would like it so much.

[ Sometimes, Flambae is pretty smooth probably even when he isn't trying to be. That's a frustrating fact about him. Not that Robert is going to inflate his ego much by telling him that. Maybe later. Maybe.

What throws him off in this exact moment for a second is the question if he's happy. People don't really ask Robert that very often. Chase probably has, or at the very least thought it. So even if it's right in the middle of having sex and Flambae is literally perched right against his dick, Robert's lips tilt up quietly. ]

Yeah.

[ But shit, now he doesn't even know how to respond. Everything that's being said to him is so heartachingly sweet. He knows that Flambae is more than just a loudmouth diva, but he wasn't expecting this admission.

Thankfully the heat in the room (thanks) and the flush of desire possessing the dispatcher right now make it so you can't really tell if these confessions have made him blush or not. There is a limit to how much he'll allow himself to be embarrassed you know? ]

I think you might want to do something about that.

[ Being harder than Queen Victoria's diamonds (he thinks they are King Charles III's diamonds now) sounds really uncomfortable, and Robert knows this because he is in a very similar state. The random kisses and touches that he is getting from Flambae intermittently are just winding him up tighter and tighter.

But he does think he can't just pretend like those nice, gentle things hadn't been said to him. Flambae keeps ruining the moment over and over (and Robert does the same but this ain't about him) but this is really great actually. Who knew that being taken care of really would be a wonderful thing? Why does Flambae think Robert gave him such an enthusiastic 'yes' just moments ago? Because he's happy, and he's having fun, and he likes this.

His expression softens a bit and he reaches up to brush his fingers affectionately against Flambae (he won't touch his hair).

Crazy how much he wants to kiss him right now, even if his mouth has been on his balls very recently. ]

I didn't ... think so either. But I do, when it's you.

[ He'd rather say these types of things when his dick isn't bobbing around and half his body isn't just hiked up off of the bed, but it's no less genuine either. ]

[He'll savor Robert's rough fingers against his stubbly cheek, even though he is absolutely thinking about all the ways he's going to lotion them later. Maybe the thought is his grandmother's way of reaching out to him from beyond... She always did tell Chad that his beard made him look like a hobo, and insisted that he shave it in case he only attract other hobos... God?! She was right. Abuelas and their fucking curses, man. Does this make him a hobosexual instead of a homosexual? He doesn't want to know.

He looks up at Robert, with that quiet, curious eye contact once again. It turns out that he is capable of looking soft, and is taking in every earnest word. His lips twist into an expression that is almost a smile, because even though he is happy and hopeful and horny, he's not sure that what Robert is saying is true. It's not that he doubts the other hero's sincerity- He is pathetically sincere, to the point of being corny.

It's that Flambae doubts himself, as it seems that he can catch men easily, but in trying to keep them, they're always scorched as they slip right through the gaps in his fiery hands. So, he'll kiss Robert's fingers one by one and get back to work, hoping he hasn't totally turned him off. With each wet, sloppy bob of the head, it's becoming clear to the hotheaded hero that holding out is going to be impossible, so he does his best to reach for the bottle of lube that is just swishing about in his bedsheets.

Only... He is struggling to grab hold of it, on account of everything being so wet and sticky-]

...Fuck. Why is this-

[He tries grabbing it again, only it slips through his fingers.]

What the fuck? None of this is on the outside, no?

[WHY IS IT SO SLIPPERY]

Then there would be a stupid puddle everywhere.

Damn! The universe must really hate you, Bobbert.

[ASLKDFJASKDJFSKJDF DON'T TURN THIS ON HIM]

It's like God doesn't want you to get laid or something. What is happening?

Edited (the sincerity got him) 2026-01-01 05:45 (UTC)

[ Robert would argue that he's not completely a hobo because he actually has a home. But he does seem very defensive over that shit heap for whatever reason, and he is incorrect.

He does feel apprehensive about being taken care of, but everything Chad has done for him so far— bumbling and fumbling aside — really has been nice. More than he was imagining it would be. For some reason, when Flambae looks at him quietly, he almost thinks something sweet and magical is going to happen. When will he learn? Probably very shortly, but still. Even the way his fingers are slowly kissed is almost weirdly romantic, if he was not also in the middle of getting an intense but really weirdly drawn out blowjob.

Robert groans, not sure if in protest or in pleasure (maybe a bit of both), and immediately feels his sexual frustration skyrocket into outer space as the mattress around him jiggles and jostles with Flambae's three-fingered attempts to grab onto the ...

bottle of lube.

What the fuck? ]

For fuck's—

[ Actually, yeah, it does feel like God hates him right now! Thanks for pointing it out on top of leaving his dick unattended again, Flambae! Very helpful, very sexy.

Another groan leaves him, this one almost like he's in the middle of a battle against a supervillain. Actually, no, this might be his supervillain origin story. ]

Will you- [ DEEP BREATH ] I am going to lose my entire mind if you don't stop fucking around right now.

[ He even shyly but enthusiastically told you what he wanted, he thinks he deserves the universe to chill out a little and let him get laid, and he thinks Flambae can help out with that!! ]

Hey! I'd rather it be your mind than your erection, it's like we are shit out of luck over here-

[Maybe he really is on antidepressants? Yo, that'd be a plus actually, even if it makes this situation harder... And even if he isn't, maybe this is practice.

He'll bring a hand back to Robert's cock again, running his thumb over a vein that feels like it really is going to pop from the pressure. Thankfully, he manages to grab hold of the bottle and switches his hand for his tongue and lips again, although not before quickly exclaiming-]

Oh fuck yeah! We are so back.

[This motion is fairly swift, especially since he's concentrating, and he's able to uncap the thing and pour a little bit over his three-fingered hand, choosing to go all the way down on Robert this time, no matter how uncomfortable.

He slips one finger inside of Robert, doing his best not to breathe fire from the excitement he's feeling. Robert is warm and wet and through his own haze of pleasure it's hard ~~and he's hard~~ not to spill white on white sheets from the feeling of being inside him. His willingness and desperation, as well as his fucking stamina, Christ, are so unexpected.

Flambae was sure he was some kind of passing interest, yet another flavor for someone to try and spit out when it got too hot or goddamn controversial, but maybe there's a chance for the two of them after all.

He'll just need to make himself useful.

Shit, he needs to come up for air, that urge to cough is reckoning again-]

Fuck, Robert.

[He's breathless again.]

Did you know you could get this wet?

[ Flambae has no idea apparently how close Robert has come to losing his erection as well. At least it feels like it. But even with all the fumbling and bumbling around and stupid 1-intelligence-stat comments, he'd probably still be hard as a rock so nevermind. Bob Bob has it down bad.

Certainly not evidenced by the way he almost squirms when Flambae runs his thumb over that vein on his cock.

And definitely not by the way the entire room is spinning when his entire length just disappears into Flambae's mouth. Or the finger that slips inside of him in a rush of adrenaline. ]

Oh, shit—

[ Combine all that with that dirty, filthy question that he's asked when the firestarter surfaces for air and his lips are glistening and he has a certain lusty look about them, and ...

Well.

Robert can't hold back anymore. His stamina is something to write home about, but he's been strung along so much and how many times do you actually think he's had another man's finger in his ass (especially in recent years?) and — it's just too much. It sends him right over the edge in an orgasm he barely has time to think about let alone warn for.

His hands come up over his face again. He feels like a teenager who just got his first handjob from Becky from 2nd period math class. But damn, it feels good ... ]

[He swallows Robert's load without thinking, unfortunately, and while he's a little surprised, Flambae appears pretty largely unbothered. He wipes off some residue from the side of his mouth with his thumb, in quite a similar motion to the way he had removed the blood all those years ago, only there's no malice behind his eyes this time.

Usually, before men get to engaging in this kind of thing with other people, they'll play around in bed or in the bathroom by themselves, but Flambae has a sneaking suspicion that maybe Robert has not done so much of that.

He unceremoniously checks the state of his lubed up finger first, and, hey! The guy really did clean up after all, then immediately moving to loom over Robert a little bit. It is best that he does not get too close, after all, the poor thing is embarrassed no matter what he'll try to say, so maybe they're due for a little off-color humor to make things seem more... Familiar.]

So...

I guess this settles the score then, huh? One for one?

[He says it, joking a little, but, shit.

There's too much gentleness in it.]

Robert!

Are you... How do you say, fine? Okay?

[Ugh, those marks he left with his own mouth are starting to look nasty. He'll have to make sure they tend to them properly- They'll be sexier after they've healed up a bit.

Maybe Flambae will get a chance to see them tomorrow.]

Is there anything I can do for you?

There's no need to be shy.

[ Robert is so lucky he didn't see Flambae wipe his mouth like that or he might have, somehow, come again. Not really, but it's actually a bit crazy how attractive the man can be considering how he's missing a tooth and his personality is often a complete disaster.

It's also a good thing he didn't see that looking at his finger or he might die on the spot and not in a good way. Of course he washed, even though he had no idea where they would go or what would happen on this date night.

He still doesn't. ]

Yeah. [ He pushes out a puff of air and drops his hands, amused and resigned all in one. ] I guess it does.

[ Fair is fair, he supposes. He fully intended on holding out and all too, but having your ass intimately touched by your crush xoxo is actually far more intense than he could have imagined. The dispatcher definitely was not warming himself up in bed (he has no bed) or the bathroom.

His heart does funny things when he's asked after, once again because it feels unexpected and he just isn't used to it. Not from Flambae for sure, but not from most other people either. He ends up giving a little half smile that could either be interpreted as embarrassed or amused. ]

I'm ... doing great, actually.

[ It's the truth, even if he did finish accidentally. Even with the most drawn out blowjobs of the century or perhaps all time, he's been having a lot of fun on this ... excursion.

He thinks about apologizing for coming so suddenly too but considering Flambae literally gulped it down like it was nothing ... maybe it's a non-issue. ]

Maybe a little rustier than I thought.

Edited 2026-01-03 05:17 (UTC)

[The affirmation helps Flambae relax a little, and he nods after Robert confirms that he's doing okay. Perhaps it's becoming ever more so evident, but he might be more of a nonverbal communicator when it comes to more intimate emotions, even cracking something of a half-smile.

This is so tender, he's almost thankful that reaching out to touch Robert is totally out of bounds, considering his fucking goopy fingers and all. He always has some shitty comeback, stupid or otherwise, but he can't really think of one.

It's because despite everything, Robert doesn't look dumb, or pathetic, or laughably miserable. He seems legitimately at ease, something that doesn't often happen, even when the Z-team is having a good time.]

You should really consider greasing the wheels every so often. Even during a dry spell, Robbo~!

[Some of Flambae's excitement has gone down, but weirdly enough, he doesn't seem angry about it. The fact that he's at least earned himself a tie, in some twisted way, is enough.

The sex can come later. Now he has a little better of an idea what Robert is and isn't so keen on.]

Neglect yourself for too long, and you'll get violent.

Then even the most fucked up of fucked up bullshit will feel like...

[He mulls over his words with a low murmur.]

Something else.

[And yes, unfortunately. The finishing in his mouth is sort of a non-issue- As long as it doesn't get in his hair or his eyes he's pretty okay with it. It just means he was doing that great of a job! But was he?! Don't give him this win.]

Edited 2026-01-03 05:39 (UTC)

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this is for like. the ether the reason he did not respond to the phenomenal drag is that

i take it back i am scared

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using this icon is a little out of pocket but

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