CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

cw: 2 yaoi

[incinerhater]

[The truth is that he does mean it, petty jabs and shitty barbs aside. Any potshots he takes at Robert are just that, a cover, a ruse, a way for him to pretend that he doesn't like him as much as he does.

Robert looks better naked. At first glance, he isn't the kind of man who stands out in a crowd, unless one really focuses. There's the chipped ear and the scars that are apparent if his shirt stays unbuttoned, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. The freckles on his face extend all over, truly all over, a detail that will ruin Flambae's life as he stews about them on shift tomorrow. It's so strange, he's the perfect combination of oddly comfortable in his skin and yet so stupidly oblivious to his own charms or sadness.

And that's the worst of it, that Robert's clear desire for human connection and lack of ability to care properly for himself leaves a window wide open for Flambae to occupy. He's a big personality, a brute and a hothead, someone so bold and bright that it would seem he doesn't fit in anywhere.

This is something he's come to embrace now, but as a child, it had driven him to some of the darkest places. To describe him as alone now would be misleading, he isn't, Flambae has family and friends, but...

Love is something he loves, whether that's a good idea or not.]

I'm not, I-

[Flambae comes closer, despite being so frightened, silently hoping he doesn't self sabotage this time. His heart is pounding- So Robert really does want to be dragged back to bed again, or was that one of his sly attempts at a shitty joke?

He comes closer, looking so tender and so scared, but for a brief set of seconds, there's a brightness to those fiery eyes, an almost child-like excitement. He's letting himself appear hopeful for the first time in god knows how long, so before the moment passes, he'll lean in to kiss Robert again, this time closing the gap between them. Wordlessly, he'll pick Robert up again, lifting him off the ground and holding him like some sort of idiot prince, traipsing right off to bed again.

Flambae isn't really thinking much.

It's just nice after so long to finally feel like he has a shot, even if there's nothing real about it.

When he lays Robert on the sheets again, Flambae is a little more careful as he climbs on top of him, straddling the shorter man with both legs. Fuck, this feels way better now that they're both naked. God, he's so warm-]

Uh...

Okay.

[bobbob]

[ Both of them are sincere, both of them are also just kind of bad at parts of this for very different reasons. Robert is kinda starting to see this, slowly but surely. In a way though it's kind of nice, knowing that Flambae is right here with him so he doesn't feel completely idiotic all on his own.

It's new to have his physical appearance minded the way Flambae does. Most people will take note of his ear or if they happen to see his scars, but they seldom say anything because it's too awkward to admit they were staring. Too personal to ask questions or express concern. Chase occasionally makes comments about how he's too skinny or how he gets himself hurt for a thankless job. But he's not attracted to Robert, that's completely different. Suddenly Robert has to actually think about what he looks like.

He's not ashamed or too shy, but it is very, very strange to be more conscious of it in a way that's not just related to his exercise regime.

Looking up to Flambae in return still, he wonders if he should say his name. His superhero name? Or his actual name. It's just startling to see those flickers of various emotions pass by that fiery gaze when just a very short time ago Robert wasn't even sure the man was capable of feeling them. Now, not only does he know he is, but he actually really cares about it a lot. That excitement is contagious. So is feeling scared. And the tenderness? It both warms his formerly idling heart and weighs it down with some kind of grief he can't explain. He's not going to try to, either. It's something to do with that very same yearning for connection and not at all anything Flambae is to blame for, so he wouldn't want him to think it is.

It could be that Robert's comment about bed was both of those things: a sly attempt at a dumb joke but also something he wants. At any rate, he is pleased to be kissed again, even standing more on the fronts of his feet so he can lean up into it, tossing his arms up over those too-broad shoulders. He even lets himself be scooped up without a complaint or a comment about Phenomaman. Small progress.

The sort of shyness that Flambae is showing him though, even as he climbs over top of Robert, is so endearing it makes his heart hurt. Normally he might even tease or toss out one of those barbs they so love to fling at one another. Instead, he places a hand intently against Flambae's chest. His free arm goes behind himself to kind of prop himself up on the mattress. He smiles, and it's not even smarmy. ]

Okay?

[ An attempt is made to switch places with Flambae. Robert may not have superpowers or inhuman strength, but he's a strong guy. Still, there is gentleness in his motions, like he's encouraging the other man to swap with him and if he doesn't want to, he's not going to fight it. Whether he gets his way and ends up straddling over Flambae's hips instead, or is laid back down onto the sheets, he initiates the kiss this time, tiling his head just right so he can part his lips and make it deep. It is not as urgent and horny as the one out at the dinner table was, but it's still full of desire. And, dare he admit, affection. ]

[incinerhater]

[Meanwhile, Flambae is almost always conscious of how he looks, even and especially during sex. His flamboyant style and often revealing choice of clothes is an act of wordless protest against a world that seems too bland and intolerant. Why should he be made to feel like an outsider when he’s so fucking gorgeous, huh? Sometimes he feels that he spends his days among cretins bereft of the ability to understand that you can be a peace of art too.

In this moment, he isn’t thinking about any of that. Flambae is wide-eyed and sheepish, some strands of long hair in his face instead of pulled away from it. Oh? Tenderness? And from Robert of all people. Flambae would never admit that the bite from the other is something he does enjoy, even if it often drives him crazy, but softness?

The (rusty and often useless) gears in Flambae’s head are turning. Was he so bitter, so angry, because he knew their dispatcher had the capacity to be so kind without any blowback? No. It’s so nice, he only gets to share this sort of unabashed affection with his niece, and of course there’s the added layer of desire and adult intimacy here that makes things all the more tempting.

When Robert touches his chest, it’s as though he’s shoved his fingers inside him, reaching in and caressing a heart that’s beating quickly. Flambae is so surprised by how nice the gesture is, making nervous eye contact all the while, the words coming later.

Or, well, word.]

…Okay.

[Flambae preaches self acceptance loudly, and for the most part he has gotten there, but that doesn’t help on his worst days. His size and dangerous abilities don’t help him feel like less of a monster, and when he’s courted that’s usually the kind of freaky shit that people want, so he never gets to experience this kind of intimacy.

Shit. They’re going to make love tonight, aren’t they. Oh, this he was definitely unprepared for.

Whatever. He hasn’t been loved in years.

He allows Robert to get on too of him, looking up with a curious look in his eyes. Flambae loathes to admit it but it’s so nice that Robert is taking the reigns, so now he can relax a little, something he almost never does in the presence of others. He does gently rest his hands against both of Robert’s hips, mostly to steady him in place and ensure that he doesn’t slip and slide, closing his eyes and letting Robert kiss him as deeply as he ‘d like.

Those long legs of his curl around Robert’s body.

Fuck, this nice.]

[bobbob]

[ If Robert can catch Flambae off guard with some quip or clever comment, he knows he's going to have a good day. But this is not something he expected at all. Those wide eyes, how quiet he is, how some of his hair is out of place and he doesn't even seem to care about it. Part of Robert wonders if he's made a mistake. Maybe Flambae hates this, wants them to be actively fighting even while their dicks are hard.

But maybe he's just ... shockingly as starved for softer moments as Robert himself is. Flambae seems relatively unhinged at the best of times, wild and free and full of opinions— actually, you know what. Now it does make sense that the way his dispatcher is treating him right now is rewiring his brain. In that case, he doesn't feel like taking it back. ]

Okay.

[ He smirks a little, but it's a good natured one. Just, you know, he could go back and forth like this all day.

But he has other things to do, too. Like bending forward to kiss Flambae more, sliding his tongue out to tease Flambae's into tangling right up with it. A soft, pleased humming sound against their lips is the result of that. A warm shudder runs through him as legs are wrapped around him like he might otherwise fly away or something. It just feels... really nice to have skin on skin this way. Especially, somehow, when it's this particular man's skin?

Robert really doesn't know how they got here.

After getting a good fill of kisses to Flambae's mouth, he drags his lips to the stubble on his chin and jaw. Then to his throat, the Adam's apple and along the junction of neck and shoulder. He just wants to explore a little, find the spots that really make this candle of a man melt all before he even gets back to his cock. Though it might start to get hard to ignore when he feels certain things taking place. It's probably fine. He can hold onto the reins for as long as Flambae wants him to have them. ]

the yaoi police are gonna find me, they're gonna be like, blonde blazer would never talk like this

[incinerhater]

[He doesn't get to play nice with many people, despite being wholly capable of doing so, because it'd ruin the (bad) reputation he's so carefully (read: carelessly) built for himself. If anyone knew that a little sucking and not even fucking from this Grindr 5 was eliciting sounds like this from him in his own bedroom of all places, he'd be roasted. Cooked. Canned! Served on a humiliation platter like yet another spicy and moderately infamous homosexual D-lister.

And yet he can't help himself. His own childhood had been fraught with tepid restraint. It's not as though he's ever tried to play straight or pretend he was interested in anyone he wasn't, but the years spent without the ability to openly express interest in a man have left permanent burns on his psyche. Every stupid and slight reminder that he's in bed with another man, the stubble on stubble, the teeth grazing against his Adam's apple, and even a kiss that feels rougher and more possessive than maybe is warranted is enough to get him to moan and tangle his fingers in Robert's hair. He grips it hard, then releasing as he experiences a wash of mild regret, knowing full well he'll smell some bullshit "Alpine Alpha" scent in the men's haircare aisle and think of Robert's stupid smirk when they're apart. Awkwardly, he lets his fingers travel down and around the other man's neck and shoulders, feeling... Tenderness. Squishy tenderness, and there is nothing about this man that warrants that much squishing he is all skin and bone-]

Robert.

[Flambae growls, his tone growing more familiar.]

How many of these little shits are from lifting without a spot?!

[as irritating as it may be for him to be bringing this up during what is

definitely a sexual mishmashing of naked body parts in bed

it's a good thing probably, it means he cares enough to do so even if it ruins his chances of getting laid]

I thought I fucking told you already.

["Normies need babysitters-"]

I better not see any more of these tomorrow, you-

[He restrains the urge to say it, but it slips out anyway-]

Little bitch. If you want somebody to hurt you so badly, at least let me do it while I am jerking you off!

yaoi police are already at your door, WITH blazer as backup

[bobbob]

[ Robert wholly resents being thought of as a Grindr 5 but okay. The sounds make it worth it anyway. Who knew he could draw these out of Flambae so easily? Not Robert. He's actually having a really good time, moving his lips and teeth and tongue along toasty warm skin, but his name being spoken does get him to stop, a brow raising at the tone of Flambae's voice.

Ah, so he woke up from the stupor... ]

What?

[ He barely thinks of the bruises, new or old, since they just seem to be there all the damn time. So it takes him a moment of looking down at himself, and where Flambae has been poking at tender skin ...]

I highly doubt they're from that.

[ He really did mean it when he thanked his "babysitter", even if the bulk of the reason he said it was because it would throw Flambae off. The next look he gives is a bit unimpressed as he sits up properly (still on Flambae's lap. And you know, butt naked), folding his arms over his chest. Genuinely why does this man open his mouth? ]

Yes, calling me a little bitch sure gets me hot and bothered. You figured that one out.

[ In retaliation, he gyrates his hips purposefully, grinding his ass down against Flambae as if to remind the flaming hero that he chose this flat ass. He wants it. In fact, Robert is pretty sure he can list off a few things that the other man wants to do to it. So he can't go pretending now that none of this means anything.

Although it was oddly sweet of him to take notice of the bruises. So he gets some points back for that. ]

I don't think you could handle jerking me off right now.

[ Are they back to challenging each other instead of being soft? Maybe... ]

[incinerhater]

[Oh.

Flambae eagerly looks Robert up and down, sporting that crooked, cat-like grin that makes an appearance when he’s actually pleased. Intimate moments are more subtle with him, especially the pleasant ones. He prefers that they’re both naked, whether they actually get things going or not, as there’s no shame to be had here.]

Honestly at one point…

[It’s true, there’s a long list of disrespectful things that he’d like to do that ass, which is grinding against him quite nicely, so much so that he’ll move his hands to guide them.

Flambae’s lip curls upwards, revealing that stupid missing tooth as he basks in the pleasure of petty banter mixed with real skin to skin contact. He smiles, eyes-half lidded, aroused instead of angry.]

I was wondering if it did.

[Fuck.

He’ll close his eyes, tensing his muscles and arching upwards from the bed a little. It’s fine, he knows he looks good, and Robert can have his stupid treat.]

If you want another blowjob, don’t fucking cheat yourself-

[Are Robert’s balls bouncing up and down right now? Flambae will quickly dart his eyes towards them.

Oh they are. Cool, that’s nice.]

Idiot.

Don’t you need a little bit more time?

[bobbob]

It doesn't, for the record.

[ seriously, why does everyone call him a bitch? He's not a bitch. Despite the seriousness and truth of this, the corner of his lips quirk up into a smile. Not that Flambae is really looking at him right now, with his eyes closed the way they are.

And Robert doesn't know how to feel about it, but Flambae does actually look good doing what he's doing. Especially from Robert's angle sitting over him. Fuck. ]

Are you doubting my stamina?

[ He answers a question with a question, as one does, suppressing a shudder as the way Flambae arches into him hits just right. He doesn't even care that that was definitely a deliberate glance at his balls.

Feeling frisky and renewed by their banter, he leans forward, taking Flambae's face in his hands. ]

Why don't you test it?

[ Seriously. Robert knows he's not a lot of things: Enormous, Super-powered, Rich... But he's got stamina in spades. Resilience if nothing else. Besides it's been long enough since he's gotten any tail it probably won't take him much to get all riled up again. Well, he's already on his way there, but you know. Actually enough to come again ...

Wait, why is he challenging Flambae about this? Where did this come from ...

He can't take it back now though. ]

[incinerhater]

Then what do y-

[He opens his eyes when his face is touched, doing everything to stop himself from the heavy, frequent onslaught of breaths he feels coming on. That was sexual, it was a challenge, something that should and does excite him, but what's even more fascinating is the prospect of something more.

Something domestic or longstanding.

Internally, Flambae curses himself. Why does he care? Why is he getting so soft in his middling age, yearning for companionship and stability in a way he's never quite cared for before?]

Because I am not willing to be sloshing a soft dick around in my mouth for twenty minutes-

[Let him complain. He'll be testing Robert in a minute.]

Only to find out that the guy I'm sucking off is on eleventy-hundred antidepressants.

Do you know how embarrassing that was for me? It was the only time I've ever even come close to giving up on being gay.

[And then, with an air of suspicion-]

Which of the shitty sad-boy pills are you taking?

[not the sureness with which he asks smh]

[bobbob]

[ That makes Robert sit back a little bit, although he is still somehow hesitant to stop touching Flambae (aside from the obvious parts of him that are continuously touching him right now). ]

What?

[ Seriously what? This man just goes on and on about anything and everything, it does not matter what the context is or what he's in the middle of.

Unfortunately that is one of the somehow charming things about him even if his 1-intelligence is really shining right now. ]

None.

[ Remember how he has seasonal depression? That's all it is. He just needs a little sunshine to make it all better. And maybe some more twinkies, and a pat on the head, and the love of his father...................

No- ]

Also. You're the one who can't stop talking about having my dick in his mouth, soo...

[incinerhater]

[He's just going to be giving him the nastiest look because... How did he know?! You use three-in-one face soaps and don't even have a mattress... Men are despicable, honestly, and their collective lack of hygiene and appropriate self care is the real supervillain here.]

So. Let me get this... Straight, or whatever, I hate that fuckingstupidyass-word-

[He may be lazily jostling Robert up and down, also because the bouncing imagery is both sexy and funny to him.]

You sleep in a thing that holds you in its arms at night-

[WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT...]

And you haven't thought to maybe check in with your doctor and go, hey! Maybe I need some fucking help!

[Cue an exasperated sigh the real yaoi will continue in the next tag-]

You know, even a blow-up doll would be less pathetic. At least that shit has a face, even if it is painted on... And badly.

Those things are so fucking spooky, dude, I swear.

[StIO P SLKDJFAKJF]

Especially if you are ever encountering one in the dark!

[HELLO]

Unexpectedly.

[pls...]

I've had a lot of weird boyfriends.

You know your relationship is in a bad place if you're like, "Is she prettier than me?" and the "she" in question has an inflatable head.

[bobbob]

[ Why did he put it like that?? ]

... No.

[ Robert watches Flambae with a noticeable amount of confusion as the man launches into some tirade against inflatable sex dolls (Robert's not that desperate, thank you very much). Several options run through his mind, how to de-escalate this train of conversation or to set Flambae's mind at ease, or anything in between.

But mostly, when he starts being jostled around on Flambae's body, he gets distracted by that. What is he riding a bucking bronco at the bar now? ]

Hey, hey!

[ He plants his hands down on one massive male tiddy each, hunching over the flaming fool like that's going to keep certain parts of his from jiggling around. ]

You don't have any competition with a blow-up doll. Promise.

[ Flambae should helpfully consider that instead of wasting his time on those, or being lonely, or whatever, Robert was too busy chasing him into fiery buildings and also ridding him of his fingers and such. ]

THE LOVE OF HIS FATHER

[incinerhater]

[He doesn't want to have any competition period, but considering that their office is full of horny degenerates (himself included) who are about one missed paycheck away from executing a manslaughter-adjacent maneuver, he's lucky to have this chance.

Then again, hasn't a considerable portion of the office seen him naked? Does this limb-y, beat-up has-been have voyeuristic fetishes and if so how can Flambae use that shit to his advantage...]

I am not surprised Robert...

[The touches to his chest earns Robert another eyelash flutter. Yes, caress his pecs and tell him he's pretty...]

Just very fucking disappointed.

[It's difficult to maintain any sense of snide sarcasm when the object of his somewhat murderous affections is leaning in so close. This is not the moment to tell Robert that post prison release and not too late after joining SDN he had been prescribed a low dose of Lexapro, which had helped him cope pretty considerably until he weaned off it. Err, it was less so weaning and moreso cutting it cold Turkey- That crashout was severe! Some of Sonar's ear fluff had been burnt off in the process.

He'll move his hands over the dips in Robert's hips again, "tsk-tsk"-ing whenever he feels a scar, squeezing both cheeks (ass) intermittently. He's judging himself for wanting to plow into that nearly nonexistant buttocks like he's a farmer on the first day of harvest...]

Do you want to put your legs over my shoulders, or something?

I'd play with your ass a little, but...

[DON'T SAY IT-]

I do not trust you to have properly washed up for that.

[Especially after seeing those Grindr photos. There is no way this man has had sex with men consistently. Maybe drunk? They also just had dinner, that was his fault.]

[bobbob]

[ Robert gives Flambae a look like he can't figure out what the guy is surprised about. Did he want to have competition with a blow-up sex doll? That's fucking weird. Then again, everything about Flambae is fucking weird.

And to be fair, Robert showers a lot at headquarters, so there are plenty of opportunities to see him naked. There is also a lot of sexual harassment going on at all times and it's amazingly refreshing that Flambae doesn't really take part of that. It's more fun to flirt about asking him to dinner (oh how the turns have tabled...) than having to guard his dick and balls from Malevola's literal claws or Invisigal coming on to him in the men's restroom.

He thought about caressing more of those pecs — probably not telling Flambae he's pretty though — after seeing that reaction to it, but the fucking guy goes and opens his mouth again. Even if having his cheeks (ass) squeezed feels really good when it's coming from someone you're actively horny for!! The wash comment is just — ]

What? What the fuck—

[ He may be an entire mess of a Mecha Man but Robert does at least have hygiene going for him! He brushes his teeth, takes frequent showers, freaks out about Royd not washing his hands after using the urinal — Sure he doesn't shave that well but the important stuff happens ...!

So Flambae gets a less sexy shove this time. ]

I washed up before I came here, thanks. [ like maybe he didn't know if he'd be getting assplay or anything but still. washing happened! he wanted to smell and look and probably taste good, so — ]

Jesus, you are so. Incredibly. [ His eyes narrow with every word, and unfortunately he may feel a little more turned on with every word too. ] Unsexy. Annoying. In every fucking way. You know that?

[ Yet even when Flambae says the stupidest or most offensive shit, he's more upset that his ass might not be good enough??? Than anything else. Really fucked. ]

[incinerhater]

[The sexual harassment is really tasteless even for him, although Flambae has yet to witness the worst of it. Besides, has anyone ever managed to win over a man by playing grab-ass without his consent?! Then again, he's never had the privilege of being able to act in such a way with a male coworker.

Flambae still remembers what it was like to know who he wanted and avert his eyes. It's been nice, in recent years, to really and fully look, just like he's looking now. Like usual, Robert is hurling insults in his direction, but for once he isn't bothered.

It's nice to see Robert so unsettled, so clearly aroused and unsure. He hasn't jumped off or ran to put his pants on, or anything, so that's a good sign.]

Mhm.

[Just... You understand how annoying that two-toned hum must sound. This is him ruminating.]

You say all of this, and yet...

[Maybe Robert has suffered enough- For now.

He'll let one hand travel back to the other man's irritatingly and perfectly boyfriend-shaped penis, beginning to stroke it up and down gently. Is this what Robert wants?]

You took to me so easily when we finally got down and dirty, no?

[There Flambae goes, practically cooing again.

It's not as though he won't remember how much Robert had kissed him during their first real romp. They'll be at work yammering over the intercomms again, and Flambae will touch his lips wherever he is, recalling just the way Robert had felt on his skin, how he had tasted, what he really sounded like-]

Kissing you felt like saying hello.

[Maybe he should let him win, just a little.

Robert always does, doesn't he?]

When you drew blood from my mouth, the first time...

[This revelation is honest, evident in the way Flambae averts his eyes.]

It was all so... Exhilarating.

I had never felt like that before.

[He's practically whispering, which is a miracle for him-]

I was so excited.

[bobbob]

[ And you know it's bad when Flambae finds something tasteless. Unfortunately Robert loves the entire Z-Team like some kind of weird fucked up family, so he forgives them for their sexual trespasses at the end of the day. This with Flambae though, it's an entirely different game.

He may have thought of rolling off and putting his pants back on a couple of times. But what would that have gotten him in the end, really? Embarrassment, disappointment. More confusion over feelings than they've both already apparently got. So yeah, he's still here, naked, sitting casually on Flambae's lap as he insults him out of sheer frustration. He honestly doesn't know how he wants this to go or how he thought it would go. All things considered though, it's probably a lot better than he would have settled on eventually.

That two-toned hum does make him feel a little bit of rage, yeah. But it's partly because he expects Flambae to insult his hygiene again or something. He doesn't expect the sheer sexual tension dripping off the man as he says absolute romance-novel lines like Kissing you felt like saying hello.

He's right though. It did feel like that. It also felt like Robert was a bottle of soda shaken to shit and someone finally uncapped it and let it explode. It was relief.

Though it's typically a lot louder when he does it, he gives one of those frustrated groans that border on a growl. It's from being stroked off again and it's from being so uncertain of what to do about any of this. Sometimes he feels like he's winning and sometimes he feels like Flambae is miles ahead of him and rubbing it in. ]

All I wanted ... was to talk.

[ He says this with eyes half-lidded, weighing his gaze down so it lingers on Flambae's lips again. Did it really feel like all that to him, back then? And then Mecha Man goes and slices off his fingers. He even goes so far as to more or less forget about Flambae for a while until their paths fatefully crossed again. ]

Flambae, I—

[ What does he even say? What kind of moment are they having here, is it horny or soft or angry or ...

With a somewhat shaky breath leaving his lungs, Robert just scoops Flambae's stupid face up into his hands and kisses him again. Yes, it's like saying hello. Hello, hello. All traces and weight of that breath are gone though as soon as he breaks apart. ]

Will you just stop messing around for a few minutes then?

[ It is maybe not possible for the two of them not to resort to wrestling or arguing things out. And Robert could also stand to stop fucking around. But you know. He doesn't know what he wants. Other than ... Chad. ]

I'm not fucking dirty. [ yeah he's kind of indignant about this ok. he also doesn't think Flambae is unsexy. But he'll get to that. ] Take me seriously like you did back then, giving me your all.

[incinerhater]

[Robert won’t take this well, but he’s adorable when he’s batting his lashes and looking at Flambae’s lips like an animal in heat. Little bitch, indeed.

He couldn’t possibly deny Robert those hasty greetings, and kisses back with tongue and fervor. In a way, he’s screwed them both over. Now when he enters a room or sees Robert for the first time in a while, Flambae will be tempted to go for a kiss on the lips immediately. Would that not be an incredibly sexy, super cool greeting? And then after the kissing, he could lean in and whisper, “Hello,” into Robert’s ear, god… How fucking genius. He can be smart, too! All those lunch breaks and recesses spent hiding from the other children in the library have got to have paid off somehow. (They haven’t, despite Flambae’s bizarre enthusiasm for such places.)

He sits up, willing to indulge the other man since he’s asked so cutely, beginning to kiss down Robert’s neck again after planting one teasing, affectionate peck to a scruffy cheek.]

Robert, you are dirty.

It’s how you fight.

[But Flambae happens to like dirty men. Muddy shoes, dirty finger nails, it’s so fucking disgusting but they’re the ones who are willing to toss you around and try insane shit in the sack. It’s just like that SZA lyric, ugh! That girl is just too relatable.]

Skin tastes better when it’s all fucking sweaty.

Then you can lick it off-

[Just to be irritating, he’ll run his tongue over a patch of sweat on Robert’s collarbone, going all the way until he gets to the next fresh bruise.]

And do, eh, a little show! You see?

[He up, curious to see Robert’s reaction.

Flambae’s hand also isn’t stopping anytime soon. He’ll get there in due time, unless Robert finished first, and the bastard is right, he may not have much but he’s got fucking stamina.]

I can tell you cleaned up for me.

Didn’t think you were a sex on the first date kind of guy, but… I should have known better.

[That’s Flambae’s way of giving Robert a green light. If he wants to fuck, they’ll fuck. Flambae will go until he’s all tuckered out.]

If you aren’t gonna do anything to keep those blue and purple little shits off your body-

[He means the bruises.]

Why don’t you let me make them worse?

[ooh look at this

He’s asking for consent.]

[bobbob]

[ Flambae is incorrect, Robert is not a little bitch. It's not his fault that from where he's sitting he just happened to look down at Flambae's lips and they looked inviting. It's really not his fault.

And it is going to be a major problem trying to act normal at work when they greet each other and he just thinks about kisses like the one he's getting now with teeth and tongue and almost too much heat. When they break apart it takes a lot of effort not to sound like he's completely out of breath, especially since Flambae's lips are still traveling. Yes this is, unfortunately, what he wanted. ]

I'm not, I ... don't.

[ Yes, yes he does fight dirty, that's how people end up losing fingers in various ways. But you know Robert has that good ol' boy mindset of being a hero even when he's down at his lowest, so he has to make some sort of protest. It's the weakest protest on earth when his dick is getting hard as a rock in Flambae's palm and he shivers from head to toe right along with the trail of Flambae's tongue on his skin. ] Fuck-

[ He's cursing but this is still what he wanted.

And of course he'd probably be perfectly fine if they didn't fuck on the first date and all. He'd just stay repressed until another day. But the point stands that this all started on grindr of all things and also their kisses are like hellos— ]

I've been thinking about this ... for a while.

[ So there you go, the sort of apology for calling Flambae unsexy. Robert isn't all depression (seasonal, of course) and rage all the time, he's got a little side of thirst. Also, he's a grown ass man and if he doesn't want to play it chaste at first he's not going to. They can save all that for when they have to behave at work.

He doesn't want to behave right now, and Flambae just admitted that he likes it dirty.

... While also asking for his consent, and for all his stupidity, that is actually pretty cool of him.

By the time he answers the consent question, his voice is a little husky, quiet and intimate between them. ]

Do it.

[incinerhater]

[Every time Robert swears, it's like music to his ears. Perhaps it's not helpful that "fuck" is Flambae's favorite curse word, it's just so useful in so many contexts and it's fun to say, but it does sound better in Robert's voice. Speaking of Robert's voice, it's crazy what intimacy and vulnerability can do. One might think that someone so deadpan and dead inside wouldn't be capable of unleashing such colorful notes of lust or desire, and yet it is. God, the disgruntled dispatcher is so cute when his voice gets quiet and sincere. And oh, he's shaking like one of Flambae's auntie's little white dogs when it wants to be pet, and pet him he will.

Flambae has always had trouble with authority, but when it comes to being told what to do in the bedroom, he can be surprisingly obedient.]

You got it, Boss.

[good luck robert he is never saying that shit to you at work

He bites down hard, not sparing Robert in the least, although he isn't necessarily trying to draw blood. Then things will get messy, after all, and these sheets are suspiciously white, but he'll drag that missing tooth all over the tender skin, giving Robert's cock a tug for good measure. Flambae then goes straight for the collarbones, pressing a few rough kisses here and there, before sinking his teeth into various places and sucking where he can. The fuckass firestarter had been lamenting not showing Robert's chest enough love, and rubs his chin against the hair there, traveling downwards and towards a nipple, kissing all around it before gently taking one into his mouth.

Some guys don't like this. Flambae has learned that the hard way, but, Robert might appreciate a fellow hero appreciating his fitness regimen with his mouth.]

You don't have your phone around, do you?

[Oh, he's definitely tugging now.

When he lets Robert go, he'll blow hot air over wet skin.]

Fuck.

I was gonna take a picture.

[bobbob]

[ It's just that Robert only truly expresses himself in very specific, intense emotions. The rest of the time it's deadpan and dead inside. He can only do so much. Or, not to be cheesy about it, Flambae just happens to be getting him quite thoroughly heated at the moment. It should not be so hot (haha) to hear Flambae call him Boss in that tone of voice.

If it was said at work he might actually kiss Flambae in front of everyone in retaliation.

He groans out loudly enough when he's bitten that Beef might be jostled from his shrimp coma in the other room. It's not a sound of distress by any means, though. His thighs squeeze in against Flambae's hips as the pleasure builds back up again from wherever it had temporarily gone. The great thing about having Robert for a lover is that leaving marks on him may not, in fact, be as obvious as it is with those who are not constantly covered in bruises and scar tissue. Extra great because he loves how it feels, he wants Flambae to keep on ravaging him like he deserves it (he doesn't know if he does).

And honestly, yeah, he doesn't seem to mind Flambae's lips around his nipple at all. In fact he's moaning out loud again, arching his back in a way that presses down against the flaming hero's body. He's so distractable at the moment he almost doesn't hear the question. Other things are on his mind... ]

Huh- [ Oh. His phone. Well considering he is butt ass naked at the moment, no his phone isn't just conveniently nearby. And normally he'd be suspicious as hell if Flambae wanted a picture... but. If it's on Robert's camera roll, that's a different story.

He exhales, slowly. ]

Uh... in my pants?

[ you know, normal place for a phone to be and not just up his asshole or something, this is terrible i don't know why i wrote it this way i'm sorry ]

[incinerhater]

[Well, that depends on how Robert would frame it. He doesn't deserve to be hurt, specifically, as much as Flambae's wanton fists may disagree, but if this is how he likes to be spoiled, he certainly deserves something in return for all that free crimefighting he did over the past decade. Fuck it, the city owes him a lap dance. Maybe two-hundred of them.

Ooh, should he give him a lap dance? Fuck, this might be one of the few times he wishes he were a little smaller.

Flambae's selfishness is a learned behavior, even if he's had years and years of practice, and it's times like this when he's alone with people he deeply cares for that some of it sifts and settles, while the facade of bravado slips. Flambae just has to laugh at Robert's endearing and heavy-lidded reaction. Somehow it's almost as charming as the way his slender body lurches and responds to everything that Flambae's attempting to do, especially since the hothead is worried that it's too domestic or not flashy enough. That MechaMan has probably had many a mate at least in the sack, and that this can't possibly compare to any of those wild encounters. Either way, he may not say it, but Flambae appreciates the privilege of being able to make Robert happy tonight, even if it's only temporary.

A horny photo is much better taken in the moment, which appears to have passed. Besides, the second they are apart and not in working quarters, Robert is going to be spammed with a variety of snapshots from lewd camera angles. Ridiculous things like, "Does my butt look big in these?" with "these" in question being the tiniest denim shorts you've ever seen... You get the picture.

Flambae rests that 5'o'clock shadow right in the line between the clearly defined muscles of Robert's chest, eyes still closed as he smiles. The laugh was a sweet one, more along the lines of the sounds he had been making over dinner.]

Do you want one?

[A picture, a video, he means.

Maybe he should clarify.]

[bobbob]

[ Robert probably doesn't know how he'd like to be spoiled, since he's never been spoiled before. Not like this. He asked Flambae for his attention and he's getting his attention, so he has nothing to complain about right now.

If Flambae gave him a lap dance he would either come in his pants or die laughing because the man is so enormous. It's a toss-up, really.

He wonders vaguely why Flambae is laughing at him, but finds that he doesn't care enough to stop enjoying this "spoiling" that he's getting. If his body wants to be a lewd slut and rut against Flambae or arch sharply, well whatever. The only chance of a witness is Beef and Beef doesn't want any part of this (Cuddles later are a different story). Robert would still absolutely lose his mind if he knew that Flambae thought he was just taking superheroes in the sack left and right. That this ... all of this tonight ... hasn't taken a lot of questioning and judging and even courage. He's brave or reckless or both, but not with .... matters of the heart. Again, he simply lacks the experience to approach it so boldly.

At least he thinks he's probably prepared for selfies of tiny denim shorts. That seems very Flambae.

It does funny things to his heart when the firestarter rests against his chest and laughs in such an achingly sweet way. Briefly Robert wonders if the weird heart feelings can be felt from the outside. ]

A ... picture? I mean...

[ That sounds ridiculous. It is ridiculous, right? Then again, look at everything that's happened in the last like 48 hours. He doesn't want Flambae to stop lavishing him in attention (shhh) but ...

He gives a lighthearted laugh of his own. ]

Why the fuck not?

[incinerhater]

[He can feel Robert’s heartbeat, although that wasn’t quite the intention. If he didn’t have a job to do, he’d sit in silence like a little freak trying to pick up on the rhythm of it and wonder which pop diva anthem baseline it matched most closely.

He can be gentle, he can be quiet, but maybe not tonight, not until Robert is satisfied and things are more still.

Flambae will do the same with the other pectoral muscle he’s left by the wayside, biting harder this time, ensuring he’s leaving a mark on this side.

A wicked grin returns as he begins to speak again, doing his best to make his voice sound deep and sultry.]

Do you think you can try and get it for me?

[The chuckle that follows sounds a lot more sinister than the laughter he let out over Robert’s heart.]

While I try to get you, mmm~! You know…

[He’ll respond by crassley pushing on the inside of his cheek with his own tongue.

Robert likes it rough, is he fond of this sort of repulsive behavior?]

You just might get a really good shot.

[Somehow, somewhere, Malevola may get the sneaking suspicion that Flambae is going where everybody thinks he is going…

Not for being gay but doing stupid shit like this.]

Don’t share it with anybody.

This shit is only supposed to be for you.

[bobbob]

[ would he find some Whitney Houston in there? probably not, but ...

Anyway. Robert honestly looks forward to finding more out about the different sides of Flambae. Like he's genuinely kind of excited? It's new and strange but ... not a bad feeling once he gets over feeling like an idiot.

Unfortunately Flambae says a lot of really stupid shit but he is good at lowering his voice in that almost Spanish accent of his. He's reluctant still to climb off of the man's lap, but with a grunt that should not be coming out of a man of his young age, he rolls off and onto his stomach so he can reach out for his pants on the ground. This is the maximum effort he's taking. He's got a hard-on, so if he has to actually stand up and walk somewhere, forget about the picture for now. ]

Relax. I wouldn't share it.

[ For one thing, he's got a couple more intelligence points than Flambae does. And for another, they know who they hang around with, right? Sexy photos of Robert's private life are not getting out. Anywhere. ]

Beef might see it.

[ But that would be by accident. Also he's joking mostly. ]

[incinerhater]

[Oh.

He doesn't want Robert to go.

It's a rare moment for sure, to see Flambae so taken with surprise. When the realization hits him, his lips part and he looks frightened again. He knows that even crushes for him are all-consuming, what with the obsessive tendencies he's developed over the years, but this is bad. The man is a few centimeters away and it feels as though they're on opposite sides of the room. Flambae knows he's in for it the second Robert leaves his apartment even though they will be showing up at the same office, as the familiar creep of loneliness and doubt will sink in again.]

Um, a-ah...

[Say something.

God, fuck, sad gay yearning makes him so ugly. He swears whenever he has an unrequited crush he turns into that hideous little bald thing from Lord of the Rings. What was his name? The one who was always hissing and collecting too much jewelry...]

If this gets any more serious later, he will definitely be seeing all of me, FOR WHICH I AM SORRY!

[Why is he screaming...]

Since, my balls are right here-

[Don't gesture to them?!]

And his are gone. Snip-snip!