CALL ME OUT

[bootyhunter]

CALL ME OUT:

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Currently writing Dandy (Space Dandy) / Rex Splode (Invincible) / and Simon Laurent (Infinity Train)

bootyhunter / himbomb / incelligent



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*Note: Sakamoto Tatsuma (Gintama) kaihentai and Asher Millstone (How to Get Away With Murder) moneyballer available on request



Also voicetesting Mike Wazowski (Monsters Inc) googlybear / Eddy (Ed, Edd, n' Eddy) edboy / Reagan Ridley (Inside Job) madcryentist / Abdul Ali (Squid Game) aitbaar / Portia Davenport (Search Party) portialain / Elliot Goss (Search Party) confabulous / Fleabag (Fleabag) feminitwit / Johnny Bravo (Johny Bravo) pretteh / and Joel Hammond (Santa Clarita Diet) screechy

Comments

this is gonna be so yaoi please look away if there is anyone here

[incinerhater]

[It's a little after seven as Flambae makes his way to Robert's apartment, dressed in an oddly casual* outfit for him. It's not quite jeans and a T-shirt and he's made an effort to put on some nice jewelry, but a night into day spent cooking means that he hasn't exactly had the time to go the usual nine yards when it comes to his appearance. This isn't the average Grindr escapade and Robert seemed shy when they had been exchanging messages, so the chance of something explicit happening is unlikely, or so he fucking thinks.

After the screaming match yesterday, Flambae had gone and grabbed some fresh shrimp from a seafood isle in Torrance, ensuring that the marinade had just the right blend of spices. Robert is one of the whitest men he's ever seen, so he's erring on a side of caution when it comes to the heat of the dish, which is a simple creamy, seafood pasta. He's paired it with a fresh salad and a homemade vinaigrette, and if they don't end up going toe to toe in his tiny WeHo studio apartment, there is a strawberry pana cotta for dessert.

(*art credit is here!)

He knocks on the door, super, super loudly, Jesus Christ, and if/when Robert answers, begins:]

Yo! Bobbert. You look...

[He wants to say, "Poor."]

Exactly like you did yesterday. What a fucking surprise!

[Somehow, that sounds friendly, if that makes any sense at all.

Like his demeanor is finally as warm as his elevated body temperature.]

I didn't have all that much time to change, with all the cooking and what-not, so I reek of garlic, which means... If we encounter any vampires on the way home today, I guess they're fucking toast.

[A beat passes.]

You are bringing the pudgy little one, yes?

[Flambae prepared a special plate for him too. The notorious Beef... God, he's the one who knows all of MechaMan's secrets.]

WAS THE FIRST ONE NOT ALSO SO YAOI

[bobbob]

[ Robert took a shower after work (because of course, what if they do get intimate and- wow, he is not a giddy schoolgirl) and headed home with Beef in tow and is now standing in front of his closet wondering if — no, he knows actually that staying in his work clothes might be the nicest thing he could do. It's not like he's been to any fancy restaurants or events or anything else lately. He's only been in the suit and at the gym. SDN uniform it is. ]

What do you think, Beef?

[ He and the small, round dog look at each other for a long moment before Beef toots and that's that. With a sigh and a shrug, the closet goes shut again. ]

Yeah I figured.

[ And once he's nearly jumped out of his skin altogether at the strength and audacity of that knocking, he does pull open the door. ]

Remember how I told you, on the app, that I haven't done this in a while?

[ Yeah that's all the explanation anyone's getting tonight for his appearance. As for Flambae's, Robert gives him a lookover that's about as unsubtle as Visi's was to him. It's ... really kind of strange to see Flambae in anything but his costume. But he can't get too distracted by that when he has to get distracted by the awful fucking joke. ]

Oh yeah, I was worried about that. Thanks.

[ He rolls his eyes a little, but it's in that really quick, almost fond sort of way that people have. Then he glances over at Beef. ]

You don't mind? That'd be great, actually. I don't like leaving him alone and Chase is busy tonight.

[ Playing bingo or whatever 80-fucking-year-olds do. So without further ado, Robert scoops Beef's leash and Beef himself up into his arms, and they can be on their way. ]

[incinerhater]

[Flambae nods at Robert's mention of not having done this in a while.]

You mean ever?

[bad bad bad that sounds like he is calling robbo a virgin

he isn't

that's waterboy]

It's okay that you've never been with men before.

[was that a... it's not a purr but

it is something. like an rrrr

what is happening]

I'm flattered! If anything your first foray into foreskin should be with me. Out of all super-shitheads on the Z-team, I've known you the longest, no?

[It's nice to look at him without the jeering gaze of the others somehow burning into his flame resistant back. His own suit leaves little to the imagination, so every time something freaky has gone down with another potential suitor, it's obvious. Such is the price he pays for looking good and feeling like his suit actually tells his story and nobody else's, but...

There's a freedom to the way he jests back, it feels less antagonistic than it usually does at work. He's flirting more obviously, and when Robert looks him up and down, he'll meet his eyes with a shitty, one-sided grin, giving him a good opportunity to glance for as long as he likes.

In regards to Beef-]

He better show the fuck up, I fixed him a plate!

[Truth be told, he couldn't be happier. The sauce came out perfect, his apartment smells like heaven probably should, and he's finally got his "rematch" with his favorite super-adversary, only this time maybe they will be blowing each other instead of trying to blow each other up?]

I know, I know, Mecha-Man can walk his fucking self, but... The Google Maps is unreliable when it comes to my address, and in my neighborhood? I am the nice one.

[He shrugs.]

Wouldn't want you to show up to work tomorrow with a shiner or anything.

The others are already suspicious enough.

[Sonar caught him peering into Robert's lunch desperately searching for any kind of flavor profile... Thankfully, he hadn't brought it up during the workday.]

[bobbob]

What? No. Dating, I mean.

[ Waterboy is the resident virgin and he would prefer if this was never questioned again.

But yeah okay it's super weird that he's suddenly so into one particular man. Especially one that was his enemy not so long ag—

Instant cringe, bro. Foray into Foreskin... ] Jesus Christ, could you not say it like that? That's so—

[ Big talk from the guy who casually throws "areola" out into the open. Robert shakes his head. ]

Anyway. You actually fixed Beef a plate. He's already spoiled enough, but I guess you're his new favorite person now.

[ He clips Beef's leash to his collar and sets him down once they start walking, smiling a little to himself. Honestly it is strange how easy it is to settle into more of a comfortable banter than the catty, antagonistic one they'd always had in front of the others. But it's good, too. He's starting to not regret his decision to browse grindr of all things after all. As for knowing Flambae the longest, that's embarrassing as hell. A bit sad. There are some regrets. And he kind of glances in the general direction of Flambae's missing fingers like he wants to say So about that...

... Except at the last second he decides that maybe that could be a conversation for another time. When they're closer (good God)? He tilts his head up to meet Flambae's eyes. ]

I think it's awful sweet of you to come and pick me up, actually. [ He's smirking because he knows laying it on thick like that might get Flambae a little flustered. He hope it does. And he's honestly not sure he wants to know how the others got suspicious (his stomach isn't as wimpy white man as assumed, thank you very much), but the Z-team does have major issues minding their own business so he's not surprised. ]

Didn't know you could be anything other than a total dick, in fact.

cw: fingore

[incinerhater]

[Flambae is flustered. He laughs and looks down when Robert meets his eyes. God, he's losing his edge, although he starting not to care as much anymore.

Life's been pretty fucking good lately. He's always been close to his family, but friends? Other than Prism, that's been tough. She had felt like the first breath of fresh air, someone who understood him and met him where he was at, instead of being afraid of him or meeting him with hostility. In some ways, they are similar. They are both catty, outlandish divas who have had to advocate for themselves in rooms that were designed to make them feel small or stay invisible. That and against his will it would seem, Flambae has grown fond of his fellow Z-team members. Not many businesses will hire ex-cons, and he's actually scraped together enough money for a real place of his own, as questionable as the area may be.

The comment about him not being anything other than a total dick does make his heart sink, only instead of feeling anger, what he experiences is a bitter, passive kind of sadness. It washes over him like a gush of water.

Smiling through that glimmer of defeat, he tries not to think about it.]

Ch'yeah! Well.

[Laugh it off, Chad.]

Maybe we're both trying something new today.

[A night out with Robert is victory enough, although he'd rather lose more fingers in another fistfight than say that outloud.

As they walk together and the Southern California air grows ever so slightly colder, Flambae gently puts his hand on the small of Robert's back, rubbing a thumb upwards.]

Damn, you're stiff.

[Go ahead Robert, be naughty. He's giving you an in.]

Still sleeping on that fucking chair every night?

No wonder you haven't been dating. Your back hurts without any of the fun that could be causing it! Whaaaat a letdown.

[okay he is whistling and with the missing tooth that sounds even crazier than intended im howling]

[bobbob]

[ Life is pretty good lately. It's like the first time in years he's felt anything but sad. Angry. Resigned. A lot of it has been Robert's own doing, like not staying in touch with Chase even though he's always been more of his family than his own family. It's about time some outside force came and rattled him a bit more awake. ]

Yeah, I guess we are.

[ His smile falters a little as he watches some storms pass over the fire of those eyes. He's pretty observant, and he realizes that his joke had maybe hit a little too close to home. Shit.

And just as he's about to open his mouth and say something about it, Flambae's hand lands against his back. His lower back. Saying Robert is stiff (in the proper usage of the word and not the innuendo) is the understatement of the century, but in this moment he actually feels like that squishy churro Invisigal had used to describe that one idiot's nasty little arms. Whoa. When's the last time he's even really been touched? That's real fuckin' sad.

Or maybe he just feels like he's melting because this is Flambae. ]

Uh...yeah. [ Come on Robert, get your cool back on.

Just kidding, he does the opposite. ] About that, I kind of put my mattress in the trash so I could drop a guy in there and — Nevermind. You don't need to know the details.

[ He figured the "bubblegum chair" as Royd puts it works as well as leaning up against the MechaMan suit and he didn't have to splurge on another mattress he'd barely use. This is also a pathetic line of thought to slide into, but thankfully(?) he's rescued by the obnoxious sound of the absent tooth whistling away at him. Right, be naughty. ]

You're using words like that on purpose.

[ If nothing else he certainly is starting to wonder if the thoughts that are coming from his head are about to lose to the ones coming from somewhere else. ]

It might be working.

[incinerhater]

Please do not tell me you wasted a perfectly good mattress on some terrible love-making.

[He's keeping that hothead of his cool for a change, and allows the hand that's already on Robert's back to travel upward, slowly, palm splayed.

Flambae hesitates for a second, then deciding that maybe, fuck it. Who knows how long this civility is going to last anyway.

He wraps that arm right around Robert. It takes a lot of restraint not to full on rest his stubbly chin on the other man's shoulder.]

So what if I am?

[Flambae, too, struggles with affection. When you're a walking fire hazard it is difficult to date anyone, let alone anybody even vaguely mentally stable. A temper tantrum for him is a death wish for anyone else, and it's hard to trust people or take them seriously, especially when they are nice to your face one night and ruining your reputation on social media the next.

That is a part of why in some ways, despite their disastrous and chaotic dynamic, Robert is a little easier understand. The hero schtick isn't a farce by any means, but he's small, scrappy, and not the kind of guy who isn't willing to play dirty.

A good part of him enjoys the violence, too. Flambae knows that no matter how much better he himself gets, if that's even possible, the excitement of dealing damage will never really go away.]

We are not at work anymore, Robert, so if you want to say anything that would make Blazer blush, shoot your fucking shot, man.

[bobbob]

[ Robert laughs at that. Actually laughs, and not at Flambae. ]

Fuck, no. The guy's name is Toxic, even I have enough self-awareness to avoid that. Anyway, he just walks around with his dick out all the time, and he's really proud of it.

[ He chuckles once more, shaking his head. And then feels a sly little thought as he peeks up (he still hates how big Flambae is). Having an arm around him in general is not something he's all that used to, but it just kind of fits in with the flow of things at the moment. Maybe he just won't think too deeply about why that is. But since Flambae is clearly inviting this kind of risqué behavior, why not? So when he tilts his head up to talk, it's in a quiet voice, something just for the two of them. ]

Yours is better.

[ Then like he didn't just say that as well as fully admit he looked at all of Flambae's grindr pics, he is suddenly fully distracted by Beef who's trying to pee on something he's not supposed to. ]

Hey, buddy! Not there. You know better than that.

[ Beef looks at him like yeah ok whatever and scurries forward again.

Yep, all just normal behavior going on as these two guys and a dog wander down the sidewalks of LA. ]

Sorry, you were saying? Something about Blazer blushing ...

[incinerhater]

[Toxic?! That Shroud flunky... The human lava lamp who smells like garbage?! That one???

For a split-second Flambae's very jealous and read: very irrational brain has a brief, er, what can most accurately be described as a conniption. Not only does he go through his roledex of potentially sexy, man-loving but not necessarily exclusively, villains at a speed that is usually too quick for his puny brain, but he is suddenly gobsmacked at what is a real and legitimate compliment about his genitalia of all things.

He steps back, stunned, clearly flustered the way he is sputtering like a character from a Looney Tune (can you say meep-meep), bracing himself for something soul-crushing or sarcastic to come out of Robert's mouth even though it never follows.

The sheer rush of something real, no matter how horny or potentially fleeting, fills him with the kind of warmth that's a little too intense for his liking. After skulking around the city and trying to go full scorched Earth on the man who was responsible for his first permanent injury and incarceration, this is happening?! Oh, if he is dreaming and wakes up right now-]

the sound he's making is just the one where he gets out of the sensory deprivation tank

[It surprises Flambae enough that he's stepped back and withdrawn his hand unfortunately... Thankfully(?!), the sound of Beef peeing is what snaps him (somewhat) back into reality-]

W-wha... W-well, of course, I don't piss or jizz nuclear waste like that motherfucker....!!!

[but oh

why does he miss holding small little robert

he awkwardly extends his hand again but it stops mid-air bc he is absolutely short circuiting, it's happening! all of those fumes from strong hold hair products have finally made a permanent hole in his worryingly sparse amount of brain matter]

[bobbob]

[ Robert would never be interested in that dick, the only thing he wants to do with it is maybe bury it beneath an entire skyscraper or punt it into the ocean. So Flambae actually has nothing to worry about. Unfortunately he has no idea these irrational thoughts are going through the man's brain about it.

He whips around from fussing over Beef at the really intriguing noise he just heard. ]

Yeah, no shit you- [ the brief look of surprise that had passed over his face only gets worse as he takes in the scene. Flambae just standing there, his hand out in the air, his words failing him.

Jesus, he didn't mean to short circuit him entirely. ] Flambae?

[ Ummm he should probably ask him his name too if they're going to get serious about this.

They're already kind of serious? At least...he is. Cheeky delivery of lines aside. ]

Hey. [ he walks the couple of steps he'd gotten ahead of Flambae and reaches out to take his hand as it hangs there in the air. ] Are you ... good?

1/2

[incinerhater]

[He closes his hand into a fist, instinctively, although it doesn't move forward to seal a real punch. Or anywhere at all, for that matter-]

2/2

[incinerhater]

[But what if he, for once, gave the gentleness a shot?

This is more terrifying than any of the situations he's perhaps too brazenly firepowered himself into, a real truce between himself and his former arch nemesis. Awkwardly, he unfurls his fingers, his hand comically large in comparison, and allows Robert to hold onto him.]

Pfft, yeah! Fuck-yeah, totally...

[He's trying not to think about how nice it feels. It's not as though he doesn't try to seduce the hotpants off of go-go dancers often multiple times in a week, but this is different, intimate, something he hasn't really had the chance to explore since he was last overseas, and-]

We need to get out of here.

[God, he's horny. NO!!!! Dinner has yet to be served and he worked so hard on it, what kind of impression would he be making if they skipped dinner and went straight to sex in his own goddamn apartment... He's a skank and he knows, everyone who can see his hairy sternum fucking knows, b-but....!]

I, uh, ah! Uh-bup-bup...

[He's floundering.]

The food is getting cold...

I should probably fly you and Señor Beef to, a-ah, my home....

[bobbob]

[ Robert flinches at first, because of course he does. He's more used to expecting Flambae (or anyone else really) to punch him than to just. Take his hand or something. Even if he is the one reaching this time.

When he sees actually he's not about to get a bloody nose, he grips onto Flambae's hand a little tighter, comes to stand beside him again instead of mostly in front of him. Guilt kind of seizes in his chest as he watches Flambae just ramble off his nerves, like the short circuiting is still happening in real time and not even the most elite hacker could get in there and fix this.

He could at least try though, probably. ]

I didn't mean to— [ break you? Look at your dick? No he did actually mean to do that....

God, he's feeling a little too horny too and

RIGHT, this is dinner. ] Aren't we close? Alright...but don't start either of us on fire in the process. Beef especially isn't flame proof.

beef slander, joking but like i guess animal violence (potential)

[incinerhater]

[Flambae doesn't know, in part because he hardly ever thinks, that Robert is just as green when it comes to receiving tenderness as he is. What he does appreciate is the lack of a smart remark and the bizarre, giddy bubble of happy nervousness that locking fingers provides.

He isn't the kind of person to sit and stew in it anymore. Once upon a time there was a deeply ingrained, miserable emotion, that anybody he longed for would react with violence or disgust. That nobody, especially not the men he naturally felt drawn towards, would want anything to do with a gangly fire-hazard of a freak who could barely make eye contact with most people.

It's no secret that the lot of them, the Z-team, and even their dispatchers, are broken people. In that way, they've all been lucky to find some sense of stability.]

No, and considering the amount of gas in his stomach, it'd just be like, "Toot-Toot-BOOM," with this one, you know?

[He is joking... Animal violence is not something he wants to see, okay, he was just as pissed at Shroud as the rest of them!]

Ahhhhh, let me see... How the fuck are we going to do this, hmmmmm...

Your grip is strong, isn't it? If you could sort of... Wrap your arms around my neck and make sure your little [hobbity] feet aren't dangling?

Do you think you could hold Beef sort of... Between us, somehow?

[He's so wide, at least there's no danger of him slipping through the cracks.]

Oh! You are so very small, right-

[He'll crouch down to let Robert climb on him... Also he's not getting on his knees yet because if he gets turned on it will be extremely obvious in this outfit.]

If you have ever wanted to climb me like a tree, here is your chance. But just so you know-

[Remember his unnecessary beef with trees...]

I am superior. To them. What will their leaves do for you, give you a butt rash! I can. I can be of more use to you in-

[do you ever type something and want to jump into the canal you see from the building ur in]

In that area.

this is all nsfw, but also...nsfw

[bobbob]

[ They apparently still have a lot to learn about each other. The thought might have scared Robert off a while ago, but he's actually looking forward to it now? They never got to have that "talk" he'd been trying to get in that burning building, before he sliced those fingers off and got Flambae locked up tight. There's a lot of time to make up for now.

He wants to defend Beef too, but he just kind of laughs. Honestly, the poor pup has nothing to refute that claim with. ] No, yeah, you're probably right.

[ And he does not want his dog to pop like a gaseous firework.

Also, what is this "little" business? He's not even little, everyone else is just freakishly large. But he knows that no one will take him up on that argument, so he just gives his eyes a roll instead.

Then he swoops down to get Beef into his arms before he hops back up again. Oh yes, he does think he wants to climb Flambae like a fucking tree, but-

Okay. The man really does have something against trees. Trees, which are stationary and cannot talk— ]

Alright tiger, simmer down.

[ He smirks but it's amusement and it's fondness as he steps a little closer to Flambae and tries to figure out the logistics of this in his head before he just ... climbs and makes a fool of himself. ] Just, ummm, like this?

[ yeah actually he really is just kind of climbing up there and sandwiching the Beef in between. at least the pupper doesn't seem to protest. ] But seriously stop saying horny things now or you will feel my dick poking you in just a minute.

[ He is man enough to admit that he is thirsty........... he thinks. Actually no he wishes he could take all of those words back immediately. Fuck. ]

[incinerhater]

[He’s oddly still as Robert adjusts himself, feeling the ground disappear beneath him even before he starts to fly. This isn’t his supersuit, these clothes aren’t flame resistant, and he’s still getting used to the slow and painful realization that the overwhelming emotions he feels for a certain poorly named everyman may just be the opposite of hate.]

Whoa, okay!

[He turns to look over his shoulder, grinning (somewhat toothlessly). God damnit, the fucking dog is in the way (affectionate).]

If that’s all it takes to get you fired up, we’re gonna have a lot of fun tonight.

[Just before his limbs begin to smart, he reaches back to quickly brush Robert’s cheek with one hand.

He’s doing his best to sound cool, but it’s nerve-wracking.

What if he ruins this too?]

I want you a little bit closer.

[And then, as soon as he’s breathed out that oddly tender confession.]

Tighten your grip, motherfucker!

[And speeds off.

As soon as they touch down at his apartment, he crouches down to let Robert and Beef climb off before putting his key in the lock. His neighborhood is lively- Someone is playing what sounds like mariachi music in a house down the way, and there’s a loud, presumably drunken gathering of young friends in the unit below him. The area is far from fancy, a little worn down, with a few women in G-strings smoking around some of the corners.

As soon as he opens the door to his apartment, however, the inside looks well-kept. Flambae even holds the door open to let them both in… Probably the spookiest sight this evening, him being a bonafide gentleman.

also it smells amazing in there jsyn]

Home sweet fucking home.

[bobbob]

[ It is taking a moment for Robert to recover from feeling like a complete idiot about saying that while he clings to the back of another man with his dog happily squished between them. He just kind of mumbles his unnecessary reply. ]

Not usually …

[ He just happens to be really pent up right now. And in this far deeper than he actually thought he was. The truth is he cares a lot about this flaming moron, and he has for much longer than he’s let himself even think about. Until now. He’s thinking about it now.

The hand on his cheek, the tender admittance ( I want you a little bit closer … like, really? Fuck. ), they have his stomach fluttering around like he’s on a roller coaster before Flambae even takes off the ground.

He thinks there’s a chance that he’s going to ruin this too, but now that he’s had a taste, can he give it up?

Regardless of the answer to questions that are making Robert feel several kinds of stupid, he does as he’s so eloquently told and holds on to Flambae and Beef tightly. He’s used to being taxied by people with powers but this is just… an entirely different experience. As soon as they land again he slides off and tries to act completely normal about it as he busies himself with looking around the neighborhood. He wasn’t sure what to expect. He still isn’t.

But it’s genuine surprise he feels when the door swings open and amazing smells and a clean place and sensible decor all greet him. No wonder he said Robert’s place is shitty. It is shitty but at the time he felt like he had to defend it. ]

. . . Huh.

[ he lets Beef down and unhooks his leash for him, tucking it away in his pocket. ]

Your place is actually really normal.

cw: cringe millennial dialogue

[incinerhater]

[Flambae shuts the door behind him and proceeds to the fuss over the spread on what is a modest dining table, the legs peeking out beneath a vintage lace tablecloth suggesting that at one point, that pale orange used to be a lot brighter. On the windowsill are a few potted plants, including basil and mint. The colors are a lot less saturated than one might expect, everything is mostly orange and white, and while he has a bookshelf, it comically contains zero actual pieces of literature. What actually lines the shelves are a variety of vinyls, some fashion magazines from the late 80s, mid 90s, and early 2000s, and a few vintage playboys from the late 60s to early 70s. Look, some of those girls have cute outfits and he snagged a couple for Halloween inspo last year… There’s something glamorous about the poses, okay? Oh and there are a wide variety of mens’ fitness mags.

Several magnetized atrocities line his fridge, the most tame being a postcard from Herat, and the wildest being what one could deduce is a toddler’s drawing of Flambae, incongruent body proportions and all, scribbled next to a little girl in pigtails and a tutu. He’s got some pictures of the Z-team up, including at least three photos of himself and prison, and a few less familiar faced- An older man cooking on a hot fire, a woman much closer to Flambae’s age with a husband and a wrapped baby in her arms, and a woman with grey hair sitting in a sunhat staring into the sea.

The stool over to the side seats what looks to be child’s outfit for a ballerina recital, right next to a bag of sewing materials. The leotard is a red velvet, while the tiny tutu is in a pink chiffon.

Flambae leans over to uncover a place of plain rice and chicken from near the stove, placing it on the ground to eat. He pulls out a chair from the dining table, presumably for Robert, before looking up and glaring in response to that remark.]

Are you calling me basic?

[also in addition to his orange boots, some black nikes, and some birkenstocks on the shoe rack…,,, there are black stilettos in his size they are just there do not think about them]

[bobbob]

[ Beef immediately dives into the food presented (bit on the healthy side but he'll still eat it), while Robert slowly takes in the new environment. Somehow, Flambae owning plants surprises him, like how are they alive and not just ashes? He also maybe expected more of a saturated palette but things like that truly don't matter to him so much (very straight in that regard). He's not even a little bit surprised that there's no actual books on the bookshelf.

He remembers that Flambae has a niece who dances — because of course Robert remembers little things about all the Z-team — and assumes that's who the costume and the drawings belong to. It's the photographs that his eyes linger on most. Of course he has that one picture of him and his dad when he was a kid, but ...

Memories, moments like these? He doesn't even know what those are.

He's a little envious, even more curious, and also a bit confused as to how Flambae became a villain when all of this- his family and the obvious love they have for each other- is so good.

The glare pulls him out of his sad little thoughts though and he huffs softly. ]

Not at all. I think it's nice.

[ He can't even bring himself to be snarky about it. ]

What's for dinner?

[incinerhater]

[When you’re a military brat moving from country to country, sometimes family is all you’ve got. He’s had so many chances to get his act together, but losing his fingers and the desperate call from his pregnant sister in jail had been his final wakeup call. She had been the one who begged him to take the job at SDN so that she wouldn’t have to make a tough choice- To cut him off, cold turkey, to keep her family’s future from being torched along with his future.

He had taken the job without thinking, as it was his only option, but meeting his niece for the first time was what really changed her perspective. She had just been excited to meet her uncle- Unafraid with wide, innocent eyes, running up to hug his ankles when he had stopped by the apartment.

It had changed so much for him- The idea of a true fresh start, the concept of who he could be without all the baggage.

He’s surprised that no trademark jeering follows suit.

Why does he miss it?]

A little salad, some seafood pasta… Aaaand I wasn’t sure if you had a sweet tooth or not, so there is a creamy little dessert thingie in the refrigerator.

[The name is slipping his mind… Also because he is nervous and horny.

He begins to fix Robert a plate, stabbing a fork into one of those freshly marinated shrimps and holding it over to him. What is he doing-]

Also, I saw these at the supermarket and they made me think of you… Since they are so very pale and small like yourself.

[bobbob]

[ Kinda crazy how he thought he had this flamboyant shithead all figured out and it turns out he doesn't even know the half of it. Unfortunately that just also means that Robert is all the more curious now.

Flambae shouldn't miss the jeering too bad though, because he's going to earn it back pretty quickly.

First, the menu. Robert nods his approval (as if he can be picky), and kind of smirks at the mention of a sweet tooth. All those twinkies he eats, the occasional chocolate bar, yeah he probably likes a sugary snack once in a while. It does cross his mind that seafood breath is maybe not the most attractive option, but it does actually smell amazing.

Or it did until he was compared to one of the main ingredients. Robert lifts a brow and glances down at the shrimp being ... offered? Is that what's happening? offered to him, then back to Flambae. ]

Okay, well that completely ruined any sort of mood I was feeling toward you tonight, so thanks for that.

[ that's not actually true, but you know. they just can't seem to resist sabotaging one another in some way. ]

[incinerhater]

[Oh, he figures. The faux air of resistance makes things seem more comfortable.]

H’ohhhhhh!

Really?

[If only Robert knew that very little could keep Flambae from wanting to kiss him. The firestarter’s temper stemmed from seething resentment, bitterness mixed with lust, having felt the most alive when they exchanged blows.

Sex and drugs are fun, so are parties, but nothing else compared to that.

The blood Mecha Man drew from his mouth when he had been slammed into a wall… It had all felt so damn personal.

If he were a better person, wouldn’t Flambae let him go? As their time together at worked passed, he had desperately been trying. Joking around so that they could be friends, trying to cheer him on when it looked like some of the other members had gotten closer to him, and yet…]

Fuuuuuuck, man!

[He whistles, again through that shit gap in his tooth, grabbing a bottle of white wine from the fridge.

Flambae sets it down on the table, grabbing the other chair and sliding it closer to Robert’s.]

I was hoping to put you in my mouth tonight. Buuut, if the vibes are off, whatever!

[You bastard…]

Either way, you’re going to have the best fucking meal of your life! Might as well dig in, Bob-Bob.

[bobbob]

Yeah, really.

[ Local man not impressed to be compared to shrimp, go figure.

Even if that's not actually enough to turn him off completely after he's been plagued with horny thoughts for days. Nobody actually needs to know that. Least of all Flambae. His ego is already too big.

Too big like ... something else perhaps—

Nope, no he is not going there. Robert makes himself at home at the table and gets ready to dig in, pausing with a mouthful almost all the way to his lips before Flambae speaks up again.

Bastard indeed. That shot straight to his groin. His own body betrays him, which is actually completely undeserved if you ask him. The food quickly gets shoveled into his mouth.

And damn it all if it's not actually delicious. Does the "Mmf" he gives sound a little too sexual? Oh well. Time to be casual and unaffected. ]

This is good. Sorry, you were saying?

[incinerhater]

You are so full of shit!

[Oh no.

He has to laugh at that. Genuinely, really laugh. The sound is a lot less like the one that Robert has often heard, free of snark. He’s trying to stay tough the way that awestruck twinks do at the bar… An all too relatable strategy. Instead of eating or pouring himself a glass, he decides to focus on comforting Robert.

So humiliation isn’t his thing. Noted.

He had been planning on starting with a massage to relax those tense muscles. He’ll start with the left shoulder, the same side as the injured ear.

His bare hands are warm to the touch, warmer than most people’s, on account of his stupid abilities. Flambae begins to gently rub circles where he can feel the most stiffness, edging upwards from the shoulder blade to the back of Robert’s neck.]

Ease up, Robert.

Having a little fun isn’t going to kill you.

[What does he say?

That he’s worried about him? That the insolent, dedicated fuck has worked himself too hard lately?]

I’ve got your back tonight.

unnecessary pt 2

[incinerhater]

[also the eating sounds are really doing it for him twofold

one bc is that what robert sounds like in bed

And two it is the partly hispanic partly afghan auntie in him that is just happy robbo is eating and enjoying his cooking]